In this version, the Joker is up and running and Catwoman is not the Anne Hathaway Catwoman. Not that that's cleared up...

Gotham 20XX

Cat POV

I had considered hooking my iPod into my cap, right now my goggles which I had borrowed from a military base — what, I'm a high class girl — and then modified and upgraded to my standards. A girls got to have standards. Perched on a sign some fifty feet up in the air, fifty four feet I told myself from a quick glance to at the distance, I was watching a group of armed thugs about to smash'n'bash a jewelry I was going to smash'n'bash.

"What little bitches." I grumbled, rubbing my nose and I examined my retractable titanium clawed gloves that had clawed up the faces of anyone I despised. In the ran I was invisible, a timed jump and a flick of my titanium enforced whip I crossed the distance in .4 seconds, landing into a crouch.

"What the —" Painted faces. Like cute little circus clowns high on acid.

"Cute." Rising I whipped my bull whip to and fro, pacing before I snapped it around the nearest clowns face, yanking him to me as I kneed him in the stomach, elbow to the spine and he was the down.

"Shoot! Who is —"

Laughing dodged the to the side, throw a pair of caltrops onto the ground making them skin and fall onto the hard pavement, the first two knocked out and the third...well, casualties. I did a deliciously delivered somersault. "I — Am — Invisible — Invincible — And — Napolean!" Punctuating each word with a flip I vaulted over his head, swiping his feet out from under him and brought his poorly made AK-47 to his face, safety off.

He looked like he was going to piss himself.

That's funny.

"Please, don't —"

"Shut up. I should hang you by your testicles for shooting at a lady but..." Looking him up and down I shifted my weight on his chest, barrel of the gun digging into his nose. "...you don't look intelligent enough to pull a robbery off. So, be a good boy for me," Leaning down I licked his exposed ear and felt him shudder under me. "Tell whoever sent you into my city that I don't play with others. Okay?" He nodded quickly and I kissed his nose. "Good boy."

With a crack he was unconscious, I dropped the rifle and examined him, a broken nose but he would live. Now...I turned to the store, sniffing for any odd chemical smells as my combat boots crushed the glass they had broken.

I was sorely disappointed.

Nothing nice just two five quart bags filled with pure cocaine, how boring is that?

On each bag was a big old purple J. Purple.

"Well, Jay, this isn't your day, now is it?" Opening the bag I turned it over and emptied it out onto the floor which was quickly followed by the second bag. With the gallon of bleach I found in the janitors I poured it onto the mound of boring powder, watching it sizzle and turn to sludge. With the sharpie I always carried with me I wrote a note on one of the bags, setting the bleach down and walking back out into the street.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I pocketed a few things. Just a few though. Nothing real nice in there anyway.

Snapping my whip out I used it to propel myself to a roof, it was easy to to just jump and leap from building to building...the thugs that were comatose beginning to stir just as I disappeared. Tonight was fun and now it was time to go home and take a nap on some comfy pillows.

Mmm...the luxury."