Title: Sleep Tonight
Author: Cassandra Mulder
Feedback: I need it like the castaways need fresh water, for lack of better metaphors.
Rating: PG
Classification: Lost; angst; Jack/Kate
Spoilers: Pretty much the series thus far, up to "White Rabbit".
Disclaimer: "Lost" is sadly not mine. It all belongs to JJ Abrams (who totally rocks my world!), his posse, and of course Bad Robot and ABC. Don't sue.
Written: October 22 - 25, 2004
Summary: Exhaustion wouldn't get him anywhere. Jack/Kate
Distribution: My archive, , anyone else please ask.
A/N: I guess this is more or less to break me into writing "Lost" fic. This is an idea I had as I was watching the end of "White Rabbit", and it didn't turn out exactly how I'd imagined, but it's a start. Hope you enjoy, and remember to review if you did. :)
Jack could barely remember the last time he had slept. It had only been six days since the plane crash, but it might as well have been six months. He couldn't remember ever being so exhausted in his life, even after countless consecutive hours of grueling surgery.
A doctor learned to live on little to no sleep from med school on, and his body had gotten used to it over time. But even that hadn't prepared him for this situation. It seemed as though the life was literally being sucked out of him, and he had to stop it. If he didn't take at least tonight and sleep, he wouldn't be any good to anyone. He still wasn't sure why he'd been appointed leader, or how he was supposed to be an example to the rest of the survivors. No one had ever expected much of him before, and he was having a hard time dealing with that kind of responsibility.
But his father wasn't here now. At least, not unless he was really going crazy, and he had to keep that in mind. Everyone here had a fresh start, the past no longer counted. If they looked to him, if he was the only thing keeping them from turning on each other as they almost had tonight, then he had to do his best to look after them. It wouldn't have been his first choice, but each person's survival depended on the collective effort, so it was now a case of band together or die.
Jack had already realized he wasn't even remotely ready to die.
He looked at the woman sitting next to him, staring absently into the fire. Kate never seemed to tire, and if she did she had some way of hiding it. Their bond was something else he wasn't going to even pretend to understand. He was drawn to her, but he hadn't been able to put his finger on exactly why. Maybe it was her strength, her seemingly unbreakable spirit. Maybe it was just because he didn't feel so alone with her there to talk to, to help. They'd become something of a team since she'd found him bleeding on the edge of the jungle, and he didn't know if he'd have made it this far without her.
Everyone seemed to believe in him but him. But Kate... She made him feel like maybe he was capable of anything. That was something no one in his life had ever done before, and he doubted she even realized it.
Lost in his thoughts, he realized she was speaking to him.
"I'm sorry, what?" he said, a frown creasing his brow.
"I said you really need to get some sleep, Jack," she said, a bewildered smile touching her lips. "You have to be exhausted."
He only nodded half-heartedly, causing her to put a hand over his.
"I mean it. If you want someone to stay awake and keep watch, I'll do it tonight. You can't keep doing this to yourself."
The determination was there in her eyes, and he didn't know if he had the strength left to fight it. He gave in with a sigh.
"Just for a few hours, but you have to promise to wake me."
She nodded slightly, but he doubted her. He would just have to stay aware enough to wake himself up in a little while.
He got up and left her sitting there, staring into the campfire, while he gathered a blanket and pillow. Sleeping on the ground hadn't been conducive to actual rest so far, but right now he was so tired he could've slept in a gravel pit.
He walked back over to Kate and spread the blanket out beside her, lying the pillow at the top, as if it wouldn't be covered in sand before the night was through. Jack laid down, doing his best to get comfortable, and looked up at her as he settled in the shifting sand. He didn't expect her to stay there all night, but he had the fleeting thought he might sleep infinitely better if she would.
Jack closed his eyes, and as he quickly drifted off to sleep, he swore he felt her take his hand again, squeezing it gently. Maybe he really could sleep tonight.
Finis