Hiyori has this reoccurring dream, the kind so realistic you awake and wonder if it really happened. There is a boy in a black track suit, just out of reach, carrying twin katanas. When he turns, all she sees is blinding blue before she awakes, tears streaming down her cheeks. A saccharine scent lingers in the air. The bittersweet aftertaste dallies on her tongue. She clutches her chest with unsteady hands as she breathes heavily, a sob racking her body. It's as if her soul physically aches.
Hiyori wonders why she always awakes crying, the dream just out of reach like the boy in her distant memories.
She sighs, leaning her cheek against the palm of her hand as she gazes out into the abysmal sky. The rain patters against the window in long waves. Voices of her friends' chatter in the background. Hiyori ruminates it's a gloomy day. Gloom. She ponders the meaning of this word and why the hairs on her arms suddenly stand, as if she is ready to fight an unknown entity.
Something tickles against her ear, beckoning, "Smells...nice…." She turns, alarmed. Her hand raised, poised to attack. Ami-Chan stares at her, eyebrows raised.
"Did you say something?"
"No, why?"
"I thought I heard…," Hiyori trails off, biting her lip. Her hand falls limply at her side. "Never mind. It must have been my imagination."
The rain demands her attention again. She silently questions why storms put her on edge when they never did before.
She's told she used to have fainting spells, but she has no recollection of such events. It's as if the last year has been completely eradicated from her mind. It's incredibly frustrating. Something will trigger a memory that plays blurrily in the distance of her subconscious. She reaches for it, hand outstretched. The farther she stretches, the more it clings away to the deepest, darkest parts of her mind. She can't help but feel like a part of her is missing. But then it all goes blank. Numb.
Her heart, it aches for something she cannot remember.
Hiyori tucks a stray piece of hair behind her ear as the winter breeze sings softly of new beginnings. She awaits with Ami-Chan and Yama-Chan to make their wish at the shrine. She smooths her delicate Yukata as she wonders what she will wish for this year.
Ami-Chan presses her palms together, lips pursed in unbroken concentration, wishing passionately for a boyfriend.
"What will you wish for, Hiryori?" Yama-Chan inquires.
Hiyori contemplates this simple question, taking out her coin. A five-yen piece. It's hot against her sweaty hands. He always used to complain about his sweaty hands, she thinks absentmindedly. The notion slips away as the wind picks up, whistling next to her ear. She gazes at the golden coin wistfully, speculating why her empty heart feels so heavy. "I'm not sure," she announces, glancing at the shrine in front of her. "I'm not very good at making wishes."
"You should wish for a love life," Ami-Chan sings, waggling her eyebrows.
"Or to make good grades to get into medical school!"
She remains there for a moment, underneath the plum tree as it sways gently in the breeze, like it's bowing to her in remembrance. Eyelids flutter close as she clutches the five-yen piece in her hands, like a lifeline. She wishes to feel complete again, to find whatever it is she is missing. To remember.
She tosses the coin, dimly aware in the back of her mind that this particular wish has been heard, loud and clear, but cannot be answered.
Trepid fingers quiver against his flushed skin. She sighs against his lips as they meet in greeting. His hand rests on the small of her back as she wonders what the hell took him so long. She's entirely sure he can hear her heart it's pounding so loud. She pulls away to smile up at him, but her lips tug down, fingers tracing his cheekbones.
"They're not blue."
A laugh bubbles from his throat into the spring air. "What's not?"
"Your eyes. They're not blue."
His earthy eyes crinkle at the seams. "Hiyori, do you mean to tell me that you've never noticed that my eyes are green?"
Perplexed, she takes a step back, uncertain. "It's just…the last time we kissed.…"
His head tilts to the side, hands gripping her shoulders like he's trying to ground her back into reality. "This was our first kiss."
She tries to laugh it off, stating she's just tired and she must have dreamed about them kissing. His arms cover his chest, nodding, but eyes distant. She wraps her arms around his, leading him to their destination.
Why would she think his eyes were blue? Did she just dream it as she said? She sighs, glancing at a nearby store window. Blushing pink meets forlorn blue for a mere second of mournful greeting. She blinks, and only pink reflects back at her.
"Look!" she exclaims, picking up two key-chains. "They're perfect! They always wanted to come to Capyba Land. I bet they would love these."
He stands behind her. "Who would love them?"
She stands up, smiling at him before she falters. "Um…," she starts, searching her mind for their faces but only comes up with empty memories. "I…I can't remember." She stares up at him, mouth open with realization. "I can't remember." A single tear falls from her eyes, and then the storm hits. She falls to the ground, her soul crying out for something she does not even know. She covers her swollen eyes with her arms, wiping furiously to erase the tears.
He wraps his arms around her, pulling her close. She takes in his scent for comfort, but all she can think is this is completely wrong. This is not his familiar smell.
This is not who she is supposed to be with.
She's walking home one afternoon, trailing behind Ami-Chan and Yama-Chan as they chat amiably about something that happened in school that day. Hiyori doesn't have the strength to join in the conversation today, her thoughts elsewhere. She sways through the crowd, here but not here. It's only when she bumps shoulders with someone and looks up does she snap out of her reverie.
Blue, sharp as ice, but surprised like a sudden storm on a sunny day, peer down at her. She wills herself not to blink, because she's scared she will wake up and he will be gone again. She breathes and his saccharine scent overwhelms her completely. She doesn't know why, but she begins to cry softly.
"You," she whispers. "It's you."
He builds guards up around his eyes and she desperately wishes he wouldn't close himself off like he did when they first met. She wants to see the ice melt from the warmth she felt before he had kissed her that summer day. She reaches out a shaky hand, as if to test to see if this is real. She's dimly aware of the young boy with bright eyes next to him, wide in shock and recognition.
"I know you."
He swallows thickly, like he suddenly can't breathe. His Adams apple bobs along, answering her question.
"Please," she begs, gripping his track suit, desperate to keep this from slipping away like it always does. "I know you know me. I know you heard my wish last year."
Her name comes out in a breath as his arms come crashing around her, engulfing her. She cries openly into his chest because she knows what is coming next. What always comes next.
"You have to let me go." His voice tickles her skin. "This is the only way to make your wish come true. And what kind of God would I be if I didn't make it come true?"
"What about my second wish?"
"Your safety comes first. You almost died. I can't live with myself if that ever happened. You are too important to me."
She looks up at him, stricken with grief. "I can't…."
He pulls away, taking a few steps back. "You'll forget, Hiyori. Just like you always do. But I'll never forget you. I promise."
"Yato…," she breathes his name into the wind, like an unspoken promise upon her lips.
"Hiyori, who are you talking to?"
She whirls around, Ami-Chan and Yama-Chan staring intently at her. She had almost forgotten about them.
"I was talking to…," she turns back but whoever she was talking to is now gone. A ghost. A frown tugs at her lips as she racks her brain. "Who was I talking to…?"
Her friends exchange knowing glances. "You do this all the time."
"I…what?"
"It's just like when you used to have your fainting spells. Come on, let's go home."
Hiyori joins back into rhythmic step with them, once again lost in thought. She was definitely talking to someone, someone important to her. She tries to picture his face in her mind, but is overwhelmed by blue. Heart wrenching, soul taking, helpless blue.
She breathes and a particular scent comes over her, familiar. In the back of her mind, she's dimly aware that she has a promise to keep. She's not quite sure what it is, but she's determined to keep it.
If only she could remember.
I have this theory that, even if Yato cut the bonds between Hiyori and him, she would still have some recollection. Either because their bond is so strong or because he's too selfish to cut it completely, not not selfish enough to protect her from the things that would destroy her. This was my first time writing Noragami and present tense, so I hope I did alright. Feedback is welcome! Thanks for reading :)