Buffalo Pictures owns Doc Martin. In dealing with family issues recently, have begun thinking about conversations between the generations about who people are in the present, and who they've been in the past. How did we get to where we are today? Generally adheres to the canon of the series, but no idea where the next season is going; no intent to mirror anything other than what's in my head. Serious Doc Martinitis is the diagnosis … hope I get over it soon! Cheers.
Past as Prologue
"So Mum, how did you and Dad meet? What was he like back then?" asked Alexandra, who was collecting information about her parents as she prepared to take the marital plunge herself. She and her mother were having one of those mother daughter bonding moments, while they had some tea while in the midst of planning her wedding.
Louisa smiled, immediately transported back to those days, those awkward, intensely frustrating days when she first met Martin.
She first saw him on that plane on the way to his interview, although at that point she did not know who he was. He stared at her as they sat across from one another on the small jet. She basically told him he was rude, changed seats and thought that was the end of it.
It was just the beginning.
Literally minutes later, as they both arrived at the PCT headquarters, and introductions were being made, discovered that he was the candidate for replacing old Doc Sims, the GP in Portwenn, who had died about a month earlier.
Martin was self assured in the interview, and the only one who challenged his hiring was Louisa. She wasn't convinced that his very impressive background as a vascular surgeon qualified him to be a local GP, ministering to the wide variety of medical needs in a local village. His medical skills and knowledge were impressive … it was his lack of people skills that worried her, although the only person who appeared to care about his people skills deficit was Louisa. The others on the committee seemed to accept that he was the most qualified candidate, and let it go from there. To be sure, Louisa was the only villager who would actually become one of his patients.
What had he been like?
Following the interview and her verbal warning that he needed to step it up, he continued to stare at her, which she found annoying. Turns out he was diagnosing her eyes, unbeknownst to her. When she learned that he had in fact spotted a serious condition, advanced glaucoma, and sent her to a specialist, she realized there was more there than met the eye, so to speak. That was the first time she was surprised by Martin the true medical professional.
Months later, when he performed emergency surgery on Peter Cronk in the ambulance, following Peter's spleen rupturing earlier in the day, and despite Martin's discomfort at seeing Peter's blood, she was drawn to him in a way that she had never felt before. Martin was so comfortable at being an exceptional doctor (whether surgeon or GP), and she felt seeing him in charge in those types of situations gave her new insight into what he must be like as a person. Clearly, there was a lot more than showed on the surface.
His surface wasn't too bad either. He wasn't classically handsome, but he always had presence, being tall, impeccably groomed, well dressed (some might say overdressed, in a tailored suit fully 100% of the time), meticulous in all his habits. None of the locals compared to him in knowledge or professional standing, and Louisa's personal interest was definitely sparked. She had kissed him in the taxi on the way back to Portwenn following Peter's procedure, a maneuver Martin managed to completely ruin with his "diagnosis" of her bad breath when they kissed. Her response? Throw him out of the taxi, and not talk to him for weeks. She was really hurt by his insensitivity, and it put their romance on the back burner for another year or two, while they continued to fumble around each other.
Their next foray into getting to know each other was nearly as disastrous. As she once told him, "under that gruff, mono-syllabic, well meaning, and well, rude exterior," lived a man who was "gruff, mono-syllabic and rude." But she had said it with a smile, and then kissed him, so the analysis lost its sting a little. Of course, he had fallen asleep moments later, due to his uncustomary consumption of wine, in an effort to meet Louisa on her terms. The next day, he managed to insinuate that she was stalking him, no doubt in a condition that he described as erotomania … and that she was stalking him because he was older, a doctor, had more social standing, etc. In short, he was rude, jumped to ridiculous assumptions and rather annoying.
What she didn't know at the time was that her very presence made him extremely nervous. Her original diagnosis of him was right: he was good, even exceptional, with patients, with disease and medical conditions, but he was a mess dealing with people as people. His having been a loner much of his life hadn't helped him acquire better people skills, and he hadn't needed them when a surgeon, so they had continued to be somewhat substandard.
Being more insecure than she appeared, especially when dealing with an emotional challenge as monumental as Martin's thick personal walls, she didn't see how much of those walls were his self-defenses and his inexperience. He was so worldly in ways she never would be; she assumed that sophistication extended to his personal life.
She was wrong.
When she finally gave up on him, and her own heart broken at the thought of this failure, she was shocked when he proposed marriage out of the blue, following Holly's very serious accident. Once again, Martin had risen to the occasion, saving Holly's life under rather dire and bloody circumstances. Once again, he had put aside his own issues with blood and personal discomfort, to take brilliant care of Holly. Louisa had been moved again by his skill and said so. At which point, he proposed, she accepted, and they began a new life together.
Or so she thought.
They managed to leave each other at the altar, in similar misguided attempts to do the right thing for each other. As they allowed their own insecurities to rise, and their care for each other to step aside, thinking neither could make the other happy in the long term, they committed the glaring error of walking away from each other. Only to belatedly discover that Louisa was pregnant with Philip, Alexandra's older brother.
Since she didn't tell Martin right away, she went through the first six months of that pregnancy by herself, worrying about how he would take it, worrying about her situation, finally returning to Portwenn from London, and interacting with Martin again. She had never stopped loving him, and despite their very rocky interactions during that pregnancy, when Philip was born, Martin had been there, and they finally got back on track.
It wasn't easy at first. Martin had relinquished his job and had been returning to London to become head of vascular surgery at Imperial College. Louisa was sure about letting Martin back into her and Philip's lives, but not sure where they stood with each other.
Oddly enough, the job of having to take care of a newborn brought them together in a way that took the pressure off them having to deal with each other more directly. It allowed them to live together, take care of the baby's constant need, without focusing on the elephant in the room: where did they go from here?
Louisa did not want to Martin to marry her as a convenience, nor did she want Philip to ever doubt that his entry into the world was as a result of anything but love between his parents. Having Martin around all the time was a bit challenging, due to his knowing practically everything, but there was no doubt that he was a skilled doctor, a good chef, and generally fairly handy at home. His odd personal habits, wanting to eat early and retire early at night, his strange hobby of restoring antique clocks, were a bit different, but they were less of a challenge than his natural reticence and his not being used to discussing everything, as Louisa wished to do.
As they got more used to each other, and as Philip thrived under their joint care, and as they slowly acclimated to each other's styles and habits, they each realized that they were becoming dependent on each other.
Never one to be personally demonstrative, Martin slowly realized and began to trust that Louisa welcomed his attentions, large and small. She in turn gave him hugs, praised his handling of Philip, and accepted him in a way no one had in the past. True, his attention to detail, or insisting that she comply with all of his directives, could be infuriating, but as they spent more time together, he was less insistent, and she was more understanding.
At first, most of their conversations were about Philip – his care, his feeding, his sleeping, etc. There were also practical conversations, about her potential return to work, about his work, about their living situation. They were practical people, and those topics got easier to manage.
They both wanted more from each other, however, although they were each afraid of addressing the all important topic of their relationship with each other. They did assume they had a lot of time to work things out. Having mucked it up once, however, they were becoming increasingly worked up about it.
Following Louisa's post-natal six week checkup, she broached the subject.
"Martin, the doctor mentioned that I'm allowed to resume normal activities and that I'm completely healthy and all that," she duly informed him following her ante-natal visit to her doctor in Truro.
"That's excellent news. Which activities do you wish to resume?" asked Martin, not wishing to presume what she was implying, even if he was really interested in this news.
"Martin, you're a doctor, you know what I'm talking about." Louisa smiled and reached out to take his hand. "He was saying I could resume sexual relations with my … partner, if I wish to do that."
"And do you wish to do that?" Martin hardly dared to hope that she wished to resume their sex life, for he knew that many women do not want it right away, following the birth of their first child. "I don't want to pressure you or anything, or presume anything. I leave it up to you, Louisa," he said.
"Martin, that's always been the problem, hasn't it? It's always up to me … but I will say this, I don't want to live with you and not resume our intimacy. We barely got a taste of it back when we were engaged, and I don't know about you, but I have missed that aspect of our lives big time. I don't know whether you will ever find me attractive again, but I haven't stopped loving you, and I want us to feel free to be intimate whenever the fancy strikes us." This welcome news, delivered by Louisa with a shy smile and a determined tone in her voice warmed Martin's heart.
Martin smiled at this. "No pressure, though, seriously," he said. "I can wait for you as long as you wish."
"But do you want to resume having sex? You know, with me, even as changed as I am?" she asked.
"Of course I do. Louisa, ever since I met you, you are the only person I want to be with, ever again. Whether it's pheromones or hormones or intellectual or even possibly spiritual influences, you are the only person I want to make love to, or be close to in that way." It was the first time he'd ever said anything remotely that intimate to her; she was moved by his speech and moved in for some snuggling.
"But do you love me?" she asked.
"I do … I never stopped loving you either. I am just not comfortable expressing it. When you returned to the village, you were so antagonistic towards me, and I didn't want to be hurt by reaching out to you, only to be rejected," Martin admitted.
"I wouldn't have rejected you. I was about to have your baby. If anything, I wanted to be close to you, but you had that bloody Edith sitting in your kitchen, smug, slender, intimate in a way that you and I almost never were … it was mind-boggling to me that you had moved on … from us … so quickly" Louisa said.
"But I didn't move on. Edith was only there on professional business. At least, at first that was the case. I think she did have some designs on me later on, but I rejected them because I realized that even though you and I were not together, I never wanted to be with anyone except you. Even someone willing and interested, and with whom I had had a history, like Edith. Well, she couldn't hold a candle to you," Martin said.
It warmed Louisa's heart to hear that Edith, that scheming witch, had meant so little to Martin. Edith wasn't really a very nice person, so it was good to know his taste in women was better than that.
She snuggled up to Martin. "Ok back to the topic at hand. I don't just wish to hop into bed with you … well, I sort of do, but I also know that we rushed into things the last time. Let's take our time and move along at a pace that's comfortable for both of us. I want us to be in this for the long haul, for all of our sakes."
He put his arms around her and agreed this seemed a sensible course of action. Until he kissed her, and began softly rubbing the back of her neck, and the urgency of their kisses left both of them breathless. The fact that despite everything, their passion could flare in an instant was reassuring to both of them. The magic that had drawn them together originally was still there, thank God. The intensity and fervor with which they hungrily explored each other's bodies, left little room for doubt, that they each wanted the other as much as before. Childbirth, new responsibilities, new living situations … nothing could dilute the fact that they remained insanely attracted to each other.
Once they crossed that physical and emotional line, their lives improved pretty dramatically. To be sure, Martin was still Martin with the rest of the world. Gruff, mono-syllabic, yes, even rude (or at least brusque) with the vast majority of the population. But the humanizing influence of both Louisa and Philip was also apparent.
In their own home, Martin was able to relax and trust that Louisa loved him and that Philip did as well. Indeed, he and Philip bonded in a way that most people did not expect. As he got older, he clung to Martin and imitated him in so many things. Even Martin could not help but be moved by Philip's absolute adoration of his father. Martin was the best dad in the world, as far as he could tell. He looked just like him, with blond hair, blue eyes and prominent ears, though perhaps not as prominent as his father's. He was tall for his age, and stood erect, once he began walking, mirrored Martin's erect posture.
Louisa's heart would overflow with emotion at seeing the two of them. Martin had turned out to be an excellent father.
Returning to her story, she said, "I assumed he would be a good father, and he was always an excellent doctor. What I didn't expect was how patient he would be with Philip, carefully listening to everything he said, explaining how everything in world worked, clearly and carefully. It was astonishing, to me and to the village, I think. It made me fall in love with him on another whole level. I was always insanely attracted to him, but his having turned out to be an excellent father just made me want him more. "
She continued, "One of the things that made me fall in love even further was his willingness to do things just because Philip or I required it or he thought they would improve our lives. That's a sign of true love, isn't it? The willingness to do things outside your comfort zone because you know it will benefit your loved ones. Martin had quietly demonstrated that in caring for his Auntie Joan, but I had never been the recipient of his largesse before. Suddenly, he was focused on us as a family, and I realized how important that would be to our lives."
"In fact, watching how great he was with Philip made me realize how much I wanted another child, despite our so-called advanced ages … and that's when we decided to try for another, and that's how we got you. If Martin was terrified at being a father to a son, you can imagine his absolute terror at realizing he had a daughter, a beautiful baby girl. When you were born, he fell in love with you at the first glance. I had to laugh when I saw his face, because I knew I wasn't the only one in his heart any more. Don't get me wrong, he loves Philip and he loves me. But you are his special girl in a way the rest of us are not."
The girl talk continued, "Lucky for him, you are your father's daughter. You have always had the ability to get whatever you wanted from him, and you probably always will. And maybe you have a little of me in you too, since you haven't really taken advantage of his obvious weakness when you so easily could have."
"Mum, that's not right. Besides, what's there to take advantage of? I have had everything that I've ever needed … what more could I ask for?" Alexandra chuckled at the thought she could control her dad, mainly because she knew it was true, but she also knew she didn't really play that card all that often.
She continued, "It's interesting hearing you talk about Dad back then. Philip and I have had a few conversations about you two over the years. One of the things that we always joke about is how different you two are. I mean, let's face it, Mum, you're a people person and Dad's, well, Dad's just not that sociable. He's fanatically right about nearly everything, and he's a bit of a self-righteous pain about it most of the time. The fact that he is right about stuff most of the time makes it that much more annoying."
"But when it comes down to it, I trust him, and I trust you, to give us the really good advice and counsel. And I'm glad Peter and I have you two as examples of a wonderful marriage. How did you manage to stay in love all these years? It can't have been easy."
Louisa cleared her throat and responded, "It's funny. I think many people would not not have bet on us staying together, back when we finally married. Auntie Joan once called us "chalk and cheese" and she wasn't far off. What she, and the others, didn't count on was the depth of our feelings. We met relatively late in life. When we fell for each other, we fell very hard."
"Martin turned out to be a brilliant partner. I was lucky, I was attracted to someone who was the absolute salt of the earth, good at many things. He was also surprisingly generous and good natured, at least in private. Our lives together only grew better and better as we spent more time together. I suppose the price we paid in not getting together right away made us more appreciative when we finally took the plunge. "
"In public, he was less forthcoming. Although he was generous to a fault regarding anything medical for his patients or the villagers, he didn't want to be known as a soft touch. Moreover, he was quick to point out other people's faults and complicity in transmitting every disease, germ, etc.," she reminisced.
Once he and Louisa were officially together, the public's perception was that he began to improve incrementally. Or at least they made allowances for him because of her, Philip and eventually Alexandra. Seeing him with either or both of the children provided all sorts of entertainment for the villagers, since they remembered how gruff and rude he'd been in the past. But setting the example of good behavior for his children meant he had to go the extra distance to be more human. Children are a great neutralizer, it would appear.
Martin's life was never the same, once he had the permanent addition of Louisa and the children. His efficiency in treating patients increased, although his patience with their nonsense did not. As a result, the village was generally healthier than surrounding areas. Epidemics were fewer and further between, which was a good thing, mainly due to Martin's proactive management of all healthcare related issues.
What was he like as he got older? He took a lively interest in all the things his children insisted on doing. A quiet and studious boy, much like his father, Philip grew interested in the sciences and medicine. He did, however, have his mother's desire to interact with more people than Martin. He was a tall, well coordinated, good looking young man, who was sought out for various athletics teams. He ended up playing soccer for the local school, and later for the travel team in Portwenn. He had piercing blue eyes that twinkled when he smiled, much like his mother's. He mostly favored his father, but when he smiled, it was clear he was his mother's son as well. He could not have been more loved if they'd been married when he'd been conceived. He made them proud as they could be, excelling in academics as well as athletics. He was a serious student, but also loved joking quietly with his friends and family.
The bond between him and Martin delighted Louisa immensely. She had worried all during her pregnancy that Martin might disappear and not be involved in their child's life. As it turned out, her worry was unfounded. Martin was an active, involved parent. He was at times a little fussy and particular about not wanting Philip around all the other germ-infested children. But as Louisa well knew, those other children were part of their lives too. Philip enjoyed their company, and never lacked for friends among the children his age.
Martin didn't outwardly acknowledge it, but he was glad that his children were so well accepted in the village, especially since he had been such an outsider. True he had married someone at the center of the community who was actively involved in many committees and village life. When Alexandra was born, many of the villagers knew life for Martin would never be the same. They stopped calling him "tosser" to his face, because, well, he was becoming one of them.
The love story that took forever to get off the ground, the story of Martin and Louisa, mostly remained private for the two of them. Outwardly as the years passed, the village could see how happy Louisa was. She rarely complained about him to others, because she realized that as a couple, they needed to manage their issues privately. Rather early on she stopped apologizing for him at the drop of a hat … because she understood now that his motivations for nearly everything he did were mostly benevolent. He was trying to help, he was focused on good medical outcomes, he was focused on good outcomes in general. True, he would never participate in the local talent show – repairing old clocks is hardly a stage skill. And he still didn't want to go to the local dances but Louisa did. What dawned on her was that if she really wanted something, Martin would do it for her, just because she wanted it. It didn't stop his social awkwardness, or his saying the wrong thing from time to time, but his willingness to take part, and eventually to be a part, in the community meant that they got along with most of their neighbors.
In his own way, Martin remained completely devoted to and distracted by Louisa. Though they grew comfortable with each other, she could still turn his head when she walked into a room. He never outgrew one habit … even many years later, he still loved looking at her and watching her. He also liked holding her, kissing her on the back of her neck, turning her head up towards him and looking into her eyes as she smiled up at him. She knew that he had the same power over her. His soft, deep voice created intimacy between them quickly. When they would lie in bed and talk quietly, her head on his shoulder, arms round each other, she loved listening to him and how the sound of his voice turned her on. The wait for him had been worth it.
Now they were preparing to watch their daughter walk down the aisle and marry someone who appeared to be the love of her life, much the way they had been for each other. Peter Cronk, older than Alexandra by nearly 12 years, reminded Louisa so much of Martin all those years ago, that she couldn't help but love him too. To look at them, they didn't appear quite so far apart age-wise. Peter was a young looking 34 year old, and Alex possessed a maturity that belied her younger years.