A/N: I was going to write Bruce, but I still need to work on his. Here's Steve, ENJOY!
STEVE ROGERS: UNIT USER GUIDE AND MANUAL
CONGRATULATIONS! You are now the proud owner of a new STEVE ROGERS unit! The following is basic information on your new unit.
Technical Specifications:
Name: Steve, Captain, Captain America, Cappy
Age: About 70 something technically... We don't really know...
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 240 lbs
Place of Manufacture: Manhattan, New York
Length: He's a SUPER Soldier
This unit comes with the following accessories:
One (1) Spandex Captain America outfit
One (1) Brown leather jacket
Two (2) Light blue plaid, button up shirts
One (1) Red, white, and blue shield
One (1) Red, white, and blue helmet/mask
One (1) Handgun(rubber bullets are included incase he actually starts shooting people)
Programming:
Male model: This unit has very nice physique that never weakens or wears down. He is perfect for any male modeling that he isn't too modest for.
Drinking contest: This unit's unique ability to never get drunk allows him to win any drinking contest you put him in. This is extremely easy cash.
Babysitter: This unit's sweet, gentle personality makes him perfect for working with little kids. Plus, he never swears or uses any form of vulgar language.
History teacher: This unit is a walking textbook when it comes to the World Wars. Any kids he teaches are sure to pass his class unless the have gravel for brains.
Removal from packaging: This unit's naturally gentle personality will make it easy for getting him out of the box.
1. Open the box and reprogram him directly.
2. Sing any patriotic song next to the box as loudly as you can. He will wake up and start singing along if he knows it. When you let him out he will be in a very good mood and allow you to reprogram him directly.
3. Stand a good distance away and shout "Hail HYDRA!" Your unit will burst out of the box in a frenzied rage. You should then run up and tackle him the ground and reprogram him quickly.(recommended only if you are exceptionally fast)
Reprogramming: This unit's modes are very calm and gentle for the most part. Use extreme caution if the box has scuff marks or dents.
Gentleman(default)
Innocent(default)
Friendly(default)
Brother
Romantic
Depressed(locked)
Rage(unadvised)
This unit's default modes make him very fun to be around and easy to laugh with if you use references he'll understand.
Brother mode like all others is activated when he sees you upset, crying, or depressed. He will comfort you then find who caused your pain and make them suffer. After you are back to normal he will return to his default modes.
Romantic mode is activated by taking him to a silent or black and white movie festival. In this mode he will make subtle attempts to win your affection. This can be deactivated(why would you do that?!) by declining these gestures. He will be sad for a little while then return to his default modes.
Depressed mode can be unlocked by talking about Bucky or Peggy. In this mode he will either sulk, try to get drunk, or both. You can deactivate this by watching a happy black and white movie or the Wizard of Oz with him.
Rage mode is activated if your unit is left in depression for too long. He will shoot anything that is even mildly offensive. This is a very dangerous mode for him to be in. Several model developers have been injured, hospitalized, or killed while testing this mode. We still are not quite sure how to deactivate it.
Relationships with other units: This unit is very friendly but is very awkward in a relationship that goes past friendship.
Cleaning: Not only will he clean himself, he will clean up after himself. He will NOT appreciate you jumping in the shower with him.
Feeding: This unit tends to feed himself when he can. If he can't then there is probably something seriously wrong with him.
Rest: This unit doesn't usually need much sleep so if he says he's tired, let him sleep.
Frequently asked questions: Q. My unit wants to take me out dancing. Is this normal?
A. In Romantic mode, yes this is perfectly normal.
Q. My unit likes listening to my grandfather's old vinyl records, should I be weirded out by this?
A. No, this unit is technically from the 50's so this is to be expected.
Troubleshooting:
Problem: My unit lost his shield and has painted my Wok red, white, and blue while using it as a shield. What should I do?
Solution: How did he lose it? Oh well, call the help number on the box and order a new shield.
Problem: My unit's Captain America outfit is ripped. What should I do?
Solution: How did he manage to rip it?! The fibers are reinforced and everything! Again, call the help number on the box and order a new one.(How does this stuff keep happening? Poor Steve)
We hope you enjoy your unit and are looking forward to our latest model in the Avengers line, Bruce Banner(Hulk)!