Discussions And DYNO-MITE
Disclaimer: Harry Potter was grown in a lab by JK Rowling, along with all of his creepy friends and related items. I didn't make him up. She did. I washed her labcoats sometimes. By hand!
Severus: *crosses arms* That is a stupid name for a fan-fic. In fact, it's safe to say, I hate that name.
Remus: Shh! The discussion is about to commence.
Dumbledore: Greetings... I trust you all know why we're here.
Hagrid: Yeh, but if we swim in tomato sauce, th' smell is still there. I know from 'xperience.
*all turn to look at Hagrid*
Dumbledore: Hagrid, please leave.
Hagrid: *shuffles out*
Dumbledore: Right. Any more misconceptions as to why we are here this evening?
Lucius: *raises his hand*
Dumbledore: Yes, Mr. Malfoy?
Lucius: Does it involve oranges?
Dumbledore: Uh... no.
Lucius: Pfft. *leaves*
Flitwick: *leaves*
Madam Hooch: *leaves*
Dumbledore: .... *blink* Anyway... we are here to discuss the Fifth Book in the Harry Potter series.
Filch: *leaves*
Ludo Bagman: *leaves*
Dumbledore: Good god, why on earth did you all think I called you here?!
Madam Pomfrey: Well, I was under the impression that we were to be given recipes.
Sirius: Yes, me too. Recipes to make Deviled Eggs.
Madam Pomfrey: Deviled Eggs? My memo said 'Fried Dough'.
Dumbledore: *taps foot impatiently* I don't care. You're here, and you're staying here.
Madam Pomfrey: We are not! Let's go, Sirius!
*they stand*
Saruman: I don't think so. *shuts the door in their faces with his mystical Lord Of The Rings powers*
Dumbledore: Thank you, Saruman. *tosses him a biscuit*
Saruman: Yay!
Remus: So, discussing the 5th book? Well, I think it's safe to assume that Harry... *thinks for a moment* Will be.. male.
Dumbledore: *nods* Yes, I agree. It is quite probable.
Sirius: It will probably be somewhere between 1 and 1000 pages long... and I think 'Harry Potter' will be in the title.
Dumbledore: Interesting... *strokes beard*
Severus: All right, who wants to bet that Rowling will try to convince everyone that I'm the villain once again?
Remus: I'm in. *slaps down 2 sickles*
*BOOM*
Muffled Voice: LET ME IN!
Dumbledore: I'm sorry, Ludo. -You chose to leave.-
Ludo Bagman: *throws himself at the door again; primal scream*
McGonagall: What do you mean I'm cross-eyed?
*all blink at her*
McGonagall: Oh, I'm sorry. I could have sworn you accused me of being cross- eyed just then.
Severus: Oh... oh, I did. But that was a few weeks ago.
McGonagall: *stares into space*
Dumbledore: Merlin, you've all become blithering morons!
Severus: *clears throat*
Dumbledore: Oh dear, sorry Severus. Not you.
Ron: *clears throat*
Dumbledore: ....no, you're definitely a blithering moron. Sorry.
Ron: *sigh* S'okay. *blithers*
Voice: ...love to kill...eat...crush brains....
Harry: Blimey, did you all hear that?
All: No.
Harry: It's another Basilisk!
Voice: ...kill...kill...host...talk show... embarrass guests...
Severus: Wait... I heard it that time...
Remus: Me too!
Sirius: It's not a Basilisk... *dramatic pause* It's Rosie O'Donnell!
All: BWAAAAAA!
*they run around like idiots, screaming*
Rosie: *leaps out of an air vent* HISS!
Severus: *shields face* Don't look into her face... her jolly expressions spell certain doom! *pause* ..... *throws Harry at Rosie*
Harry: NOOOOO! *bursts into flame*
Rosie: Eee-hee-hee-hee! *crashes through the door and dances off into the castle*
Dumbledore: *chiding tone* Saruman...
Saruman: *hangs head in shame*
Sirius: *shakes Severus by the shoulders* We have to stop her! She'll murder all the students!
Severus: *long pause* .....so?
Sirius: *shakes him again* All of them!
Severus: And?
Sirius: *shakes him some more* Damn you, Severus!
Severus: *being shook* You're bruising my brain!
Dumbledore: Sirius, stop, you're bruising his brain.
Sirius: *sighs and lets Severus go* But what of Rosie?!
Dumbledore: Oh, she's already been forgotten.
Sirius: Forgotten? By who?
Dumbledore: By you, of course... *taps Sirius with his wand*
Sirius: *stares blankly for a moment* ........so, I said 'Anchovies? You're kidding me! MY pants are made out of denim!'
All: *nod*
Sirius: Wow... tough crowd.
Ludo Bagman: *rushes into the room, foaming at the mouth* Bet! Where's the bet? BETBETBETBETBETBET-
*BANG*
Ludo: *slumps over, dead*
Severus: *lowers his smoking shotgun*
Dumbledore: Severus, where did you get that?
Severus: *points* From Arthur Weasley.
Arthur: Hullo.
Severus: He also sells teapots shaped like roosters.
All: *hearty laughter*
McGonagall: ...a week ago, Severus? You're kidding!
THE END
Author's Note: Please review! Mmm... the letter M.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter was grown in a lab by JK Rowling, along with all of his creepy friends and related items. I didn't make him up. She did. I washed her labcoats sometimes. By hand!
Severus: *crosses arms* That is a stupid name for a fan-fic. In fact, it's safe to say, I hate that name.
Remus: Shh! The discussion is about to commence.
Dumbledore: Greetings... I trust you all know why we're here.
Hagrid: Yeh, but if we swim in tomato sauce, th' smell is still there. I know from 'xperience.
*all turn to look at Hagrid*
Dumbledore: Hagrid, please leave.
Hagrid: *shuffles out*
Dumbledore: Right. Any more misconceptions as to why we are here this evening?
Lucius: *raises his hand*
Dumbledore: Yes, Mr. Malfoy?
Lucius: Does it involve oranges?
Dumbledore: Uh... no.
Lucius: Pfft. *leaves*
Flitwick: *leaves*
Madam Hooch: *leaves*
Dumbledore: .... *blink* Anyway... we are here to discuss the Fifth Book in the Harry Potter series.
Filch: *leaves*
Ludo Bagman: *leaves*
Dumbledore: Good god, why on earth did you all think I called you here?!
Madam Pomfrey: Well, I was under the impression that we were to be given recipes.
Sirius: Yes, me too. Recipes to make Deviled Eggs.
Madam Pomfrey: Deviled Eggs? My memo said 'Fried Dough'.
Dumbledore: *taps foot impatiently* I don't care. You're here, and you're staying here.
Madam Pomfrey: We are not! Let's go, Sirius!
*they stand*
Saruman: I don't think so. *shuts the door in their faces with his mystical Lord Of The Rings powers*
Dumbledore: Thank you, Saruman. *tosses him a biscuit*
Saruman: Yay!
Remus: So, discussing the 5th book? Well, I think it's safe to assume that Harry... *thinks for a moment* Will be.. male.
Dumbledore: *nods* Yes, I agree. It is quite probable.
Sirius: It will probably be somewhere between 1 and 1000 pages long... and I think 'Harry Potter' will be in the title.
Dumbledore: Interesting... *strokes beard*
Severus: All right, who wants to bet that Rowling will try to convince everyone that I'm the villain once again?
Remus: I'm in. *slaps down 2 sickles*
*BOOM*
Muffled Voice: LET ME IN!
Dumbledore: I'm sorry, Ludo. -You chose to leave.-
Ludo Bagman: *throws himself at the door again; primal scream*
McGonagall: What do you mean I'm cross-eyed?
*all blink at her*
McGonagall: Oh, I'm sorry. I could have sworn you accused me of being cross- eyed just then.
Severus: Oh... oh, I did. But that was a few weeks ago.
McGonagall: *stares into space*
Dumbledore: Merlin, you've all become blithering morons!
Severus: *clears throat*
Dumbledore: Oh dear, sorry Severus. Not you.
Ron: *clears throat*
Dumbledore: ....no, you're definitely a blithering moron. Sorry.
Ron: *sigh* S'okay. *blithers*
Voice: ...love to kill...eat...crush brains....
Harry: Blimey, did you all hear that?
All: No.
Harry: It's another Basilisk!
Voice: ...kill...kill...host...talk show... embarrass guests...
Severus: Wait... I heard it that time...
Remus: Me too!
Sirius: It's not a Basilisk... *dramatic pause* It's Rosie O'Donnell!
All: BWAAAAAA!
*they run around like idiots, screaming*
Rosie: *leaps out of an air vent* HISS!
Severus: *shields face* Don't look into her face... her jolly expressions spell certain doom! *pause* ..... *throws Harry at Rosie*
Harry: NOOOOO! *bursts into flame*
Rosie: Eee-hee-hee-hee! *crashes through the door and dances off into the castle*
Dumbledore: *chiding tone* Saruman...
Saruman: *hangs head in shame*
Sirius: *shakes Severus by the shoulders* We have to stop her! She'll murder all the students!
Severus: *long pause* .....so?
Sirius: *shakes him again* All of them!
Severus: And?
Sirius: *shakes him some more* Damn you, Severus!
Severus: *being shook* You're bruising my brain!
Dumbledore: Sirius, stop, you're bruising his brain.
Sirius: *sighs and lets Severus go* But what of Rosie?!
Dumbledore: Oh, she's already been forgotten.
Sirius: Forgotten? By who?
Dumbledore: By you, of course... *taps Sirius with his wand*
Sirius: *stares blankly for a moment* ........so, I said 'Anchovies? You're kidding me! MY pants are made out of denim!'
All: *nod*
Sirius: Wow... tough crowd.
Ludo Bagman: *rushes into the room, foaming at the mouth* Bet! Where's the bet? BETBETBETBETBETBET-
*BANG*
Ludo: *slumps over, dead*
Severus: *lowers his smoking shotgun*
Dumbledore: Severus, where did you get that?
Severus: *points* From Arthur Weasley.
Arthur: Hullo.
Severus: He also sells teapots shaped like roosters.
All: *hearty laughter*
McGonagall: ...a week ago, Severus? You're kidding!
THE END
Author's Note: Please review! Mmm... the letter M.