Allegiance
Disclaimer: All characters and locations herein are the property of Tamora Pierce. Plot and actual written words owned by me.
A/N: Lovingly dedicated to anyone who doesn't go out looking to read stories they know they won't enjoy. "Het is wrong". Proceed at your own risk.
"I cannot condone this, Princess," said Buri, her dark eyes narrow and her whole face tight.
Thayet sighed. "I was afraid you might say that," she replied, wearing a crooked smile that did not seem to align with her bodyguard's severe expression.
"We barely know the man, Princess!" hissed Buri. "Have you so quickly forgotten Adigun jin Wilima and the fate of Queen Kalasin?!"
The princess's fine black brows snapped together, and her lips paled. "Do mind your place, Buriram Tourakom," she saide icily, "and do not presume to grieve my mother more than I do."
Buri became silent, but not for long. Tentatively, she spoke again. "It is still true, Princess, that the Tortallan King is barely known to us. We've no reason to trust him, and past experience cousels caution. I fear that you are being reckless, princess."
Thayet's countenance softened at her companion's gravity. "You are being overly wary, I think. What makes you so suspicious of King Jonathan?"
Buri's eyes were on the flagstones when she said, "Please reconsider this. Must you marry him?"
"Look at me," ordered the princess.
She raised her head slowly and met Thayet's flecked eyes with her dark, solid ones. Always the stability of those eyes had been a comfort to Thayet, but now she was shaken to see them soft and pleading. "Must you?" asked Buri again.
"I'm surprised at you, Buri. You told me once that my safety was to be your topmost concern, no matter what else might pass between us. I believe you; I trusted you. I never thought you would cloak your own desires with professional counsel. How could you?"
"Should I answer, Princess?" asked Buri, almost defiantly.
Thayet folded her arms over her crimson bodice. "Yes."
"I could because I must. Because the betrayal you imply does exist between us, but it is yours, not mine. When have I ever been less than devoted to you? When have I ever given you anything less than everything I had to offer? I protected you, body and soul. I followed you everywhere. I gave you my allegiance, my trust, my strength, my support and my love. When I offered myself to you I never expected to be cast away as useless, and for what? What do you gain from marrying him?"
"A throne," snapped Thayet, "that's what I gain!"
"Surely even you realize there's more to life than that, Daughter of the Conqueror," said Buri harshly.
"He loves me, if that's what you mean," replied Thayet.
"He looked upon you a fistful of times," objected Buri.
"Do you imply," asked Thayet, "that his affection for me is lesser than yours? You yourself had only beheld my face before rushing to declare your adoration. If lust be his motive, then how is yours any different?"
Buri was shaking with indignation by then. "Your accusation injures my honor beyond repair, Princess."
It was a long time before Thayet spoke again, and yet neither woman rose from her seat to leave the room. Between then seemed to remain at least the understanding that this quarrel must be resolved.
"I'm sorry," said Thayet softly.
"So am I," retorted Buri, her eyes stinging.
"Buri?" hazarded Thayet again.
Buri ran a hand haggardly through her short black hair before answering. "Is this what you really want, Thayet? To cast aside all that we have as meaningless? We shared something special; I don't want to lose that."
"Our bond is far from meaningless to me, Buri," said Thayet, her voice hoarse and emotional.
"Yet there are realities to contend with," the other continued in her place, mocking. "There is the need to make a place in the world for yourself, to grab at any opportunity that presents itself. That's all very well and good, Thayet, but your excuses are feeble. You didn't seem to need them last time you found fit to abandon me for another."
"I never --" started Thayet vehemently.
"-- Only because your attention was not returned!" retorted Buri. "Trust me, Princess, I recognize the feeling!"
"Don't bring that up now, Buri," said Thayet. "It's in the past."
"Not very far in the past, is it?" Her voice dripped acid.
"Must we fight about this?" asked Thayet. "You never spoke of it during the journey."
"If I'd thought I could lose you to her, I would," said Buri. "Now I am losing you. Tell me, please, what have I done wrong?"
"Nothing," insisted Thayet.
"Do you love him?" asked Buri suddenly, sharply.
Thayet hesitated before answering. "I might. I could, I think."
"Is that enough for you?"
"If I could keep you and the throne as well, I would," said Thayet. "I can't. We're strangers in this land, Buri. I worry about it, about both of us. It's not just myself I'm striving to advance. Once I am queen, there will be a home for both of us in Tortall. Everything will be better, I promise."
She could see unspoken thoughts on Buri's face, but chose not to prompt her to voice them. Some instinct told her it would do them both ill. Resolved in her decision, all she had to do was speak her parting words and untie the strings that held them together. Going to her friend and bodyguard, she brushed a kiss against her cheek, whispering in her ear, "Farewell, nearest one."
"No," she whispered in answer. "If I am to lose you, this goodbye is not enough." Catching a stray black curl between two fingers, she stroked Thayet's cheek with her other hand, then leaned in to kiss her close.
She did not expect Thayet to respond; she was wrong. She felt her affection returned in earnest, in full force. Their kisses were strong and true, and when Thayet touched her she felt the currents of her emotions more than ever before.
When she woke the dawn was cracking steely cold through the windows, and Thayet was crying. Familiarly she touched a finger to her face, wiping away each tear individually. She felt she ought to ask her why she was crying, but also that she didn't want to know. In the end, Thayet broke the silence.
"Will you leave, now?"
Buri sighed, perhaps in relief, and said, "Princess or queen, I shall never break my vows to you, Thayet." She kissed her, then rose to dress and go about the day, leaving her princess to accept the vows of another.