So here it finally is, the sequel to My Own Army. I'll do an attempt to sum everything up below just to catch you all up and for those of you who haven't read MOA. The sequel starts two years after Amanda stepped back in to the squad room. Important to know for newcomers are that Amanda does not have a gambling addiction in this fic, and Lewis never happen so Liv's in a good place.
Know that English isn't my first language, I suck at grammar. I have a tendency to write long chapters, this story is however made for cliffhangers so those evil little things might end chapters abruptly, just sayin. I have the story pretty much mapped out from start to finish but feel free to get in touch with me if you have requests or something that you like to see happen.
My aim is to update every week, hopefully I'll be able to stick to that.
This first chapter jumps a little back and forth when it comes to whose perspective we're following but I hope it's not too confusing.
I still don't own any of the characters, all rights belongs to master & commander Dick Wolf/NBC.
Those of you who have read me before know I always have theme songs for my fics. The theme song for this fic is in Swedish though, a rap song which is so not my usual genre but since it's called Din Soldat (Your Soldier) and with a chorus that's just brilliantly sung by the über cool Kristina Amparo (song written by Albin though) it just fits this fic perfectly. This is my rough translation of the chorus;
I've seen how that shit tears you down. I'll fight for you and be there for you. When you crash next time I will lift you up, let me be your soldier!
It works perfectly to sing with a potent and somewhat angry voice & is probably why I love it so much.
Some chapters are inspired by/with other songs though and in some cases the lyrics will start or finish the chapters off. All to set the mood.
Okay, recap time. How do I recap close to 500,000 words? Here's my go at it;
Amanda's sister Kim is found dead in NY, she's fallen out of a window. Grief-stricken Amanda refuse to believe it was simply an accident and she starts to dig around on her own. She's soon on the trail of a serial killer named the Mayhem choker. A religious nut that wants to save promiscuous women and for them to accept him as their savior before he strangles them, believing that he's making them into the angels they were born to be.
Kim hadn't been the intended target but the woman she was staying with – Cassie, a blonde, blue-eyed sex worker. Amanda fails to keep Cassie safe and Cassie is captured and later killed by Mayhem. Amanda goes deep undercover, leaving everything behind, her job, squad, car, apartment.
The SVU squad goes after her, taking them all the way down to Atlanta to search for her but all they find there are details of Amanda's harsh childhood and a nasty run-in with the APD deputy chief that forced her to transfer out. Liv & Nick meet Amanda's mom, Emily, and they learn of a very abusive past. Emily has put her daughters, especially Amanda, through hell. They also learn her father died, he was shot and it was Amanda who found the body.
Amanda is missing for weeks but then they get a lead through Brian Cassidy, who at the time still worked for Ganzel and spots Amanda at one of his parties. That leads the squad to a strip club named Bare Assets. They find her a little too late though. When Fin & Nick pays for a private with her in the champagne room she's already started to sell herself for money, all to fit the profile of Mayhem's victims. One of the co-owners of Bare Assets is a really bad man named Gordon Goodwin, he runs some shady businesses which Amanda gets involved with.
She later moves into one of Gordon's complexes where she's expected to take on clients privately, all to try and shake her squad off and also since she's learnt one of Mayhem's previous victims lived there and she's now desperate for Mayhem to target her. Gordon has a reputation of breaking his girls in and Amanda is no exception. She's collected evidence on Mayhem and does so with Gordon as well as some other shady people she comes across. Mayhems MO is to scare his victims before he kidnaps them, he wants them to need him, to feel like he's saving them, and he sets Amanda up to be raped by another man in one of Gordon's establishments.
Meanwhile the squad has tried to work with Amanda, tried to get her to come back in, set up a undercover operation but Amanda feels like she's gone too far, been through too much, to ever go back to normalcy. She's dating the bartender at Assets (Scott), turning tricks, stripping, doing drugs to get through the day. And then it's too late as Mayhem manages to grab her.
Amanda has made a friend at the strip club, Sierra, and she's holding a bag for Amanda that Fin later gets his hands on. With the evidence Amanda has collected they manage to catch Mayhem. His name is Simon Ferguson and he's been on a killing spree since the 70s, his older, blonde & blue-eyed, sister being his very first victim. Amanda is nowhere to be found though but thanks to Nick being able to follow up on Amanda's links between Mayhem and the book Dante's inferno they finally find the location she's been held at. When they find her she's barely alive, having been tormented for several days and with severe injuries.
She breaks out of the hospital sooner than desired though, thankfully Fin finds her outside his apartment and brings her in. She doesn't get much time to heal as Mayhem, Simon, isn't talking and Amanda needs to find out what happened to her sister. Simon agrees to tell Amanda everything with the small predicament that she answers some of his questions as well. She's forced to tell some very private details about herself, and with her squad listening in on the other side of the glass.
During her time undercover Amanda has been using an old alias from APD and we later learn this name is actually taken from her own past. At fourteen she seduces and engages in a sexual relationship with her mom's boyfriend Danny. He's the one that during sex or late at night keeps calling her Shay and she's dreamed up this identity for who Shay really is and it's a person Amanda wouldn't mind being.
Simon is charged with multiple accounts of murder but found not competent to stand trial. He's hospitalized and Amanda never has to testify. Meanwhile Gordon has been missing, his businesses brought down though but Gordon never gets sentenced since he's found killed, Russian mob style, a few months later.
Amanda has been staying with Fin, it seems almost impossible that she could ever go back to work but Cragen as well as the rest of the squad fights to get her back and with some counseling with Dr Olivet she's able to step back in to the squad room.
*phew* A little too long but oh well, now on to the sequel…
Soldier
Chapter 1: Infantry
Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end. ~ unknown
Two years had passed since detective Amanda Rollins sat back down at her desk in the SVU squad room. Two years of just putting one foot in front of the other to get as far away from the ordeal as possible. Some days she felt as she would be able to, some days not. What had transpired popped up in the back of her mind ever so often, unwelcomed, vivid flashbacks from low points, humiliation and pain.
Most often she was able to keep the physical reactions from the flashbacks hidden from the people around her but sometimes she knew they picked up on them. She was after all working with detectives. Having covered up emotions and traumatic events her entire life though she thought she did a pretty good job of covering most times. The one thing she couldn't hide though was the loss of her sister and the devastating grief she felt of not having her in her life any longer.
She missed her sister every second of every passing day. It never eased. It never passed. She wasn't sure she wanted it to pass. Her sister had brought heartache and turmoil to her life but she had always been her constant, the one person in this harsh life she loved more than life itself. That's why when Kim had died she felt no desire or will to go on without her. Amanda hadn't planned to come out of it alive.
Her plan had been to follow her sister to whatever place you went to once you passed. If that was hell Amanda didn't care, life was a constant hell and the only way to endure it was with her sister. They'd already been in hell together and Kim had been the one thing, the one person, who made that endurable and the most important reason to go on in this dark and hostile place called life.
So after her sister passed Amanda needed to find her killer. She would do whatever it took to catch whoever had hurt her sister. She hadn't been thinking clearly, she knew that but all that had been important was to make someone pay and while doing it ending her own life in one way or another. That's why she hadn't reflected much once the spiral turned downward quickly. There had been some doubt and some serious moral boundaries to overcome but she'd never lost focus. She was sacrificing herself to catch a killer, to avenge her sister.
Never had she thought she would catch a psycho serial killer that had taunted police in three states since the 70s. And never had she thought she would survive.
She'd spent four days mostly shackled to the roof or to a table in a cold bunker room with a man who thought he had the right to execute punishment and sentence lost souls to death in the name of the Lord. She'd known she would die, she'd accepted that and endured through the pain as long as she was physically and mentally able to. She'd been a little afraid the evidence she'd collected during her time away from the squad wouldn't reach them, that it wouldn't be sufficient to catch him or the other lowlifes she'd come across during her mission. But she'd held on to the hope her squad would get them all. Her death and her sister's death wouldn't be for nothing.
It had been hard to hold on to that hope and to sanity once she was alone in that dark room. She had no idea her squad had arrested her captive and the notorious serial killer. Moments passed when she actually wished he would come back, that she'd take any punishment from his hands or his whip just for his company. The dark got to her, the dark had always gotten to her. She saw things in that dark that made her wish she was dead already. She'd surrendered to that complete darkness when her squad broke through that door and came to her rescue.
During the weeks that followed there were times when she wished she'd died down there. Her injuries were severe, she could take the pain but facing them, actually seeing them was awful. Most of her injures she could avoid by simply avoiding any mirrors but the hands were a constant reminder. The scars healed slowly and the loss of function disturbed her. Facing off with Simon in an interrogation that lasted five days while feeling weak and raw was probably the most difficult thing she'd ever done. But she'd gotten to the truth, she'd found out how her sister died. And then she'd pulled a gun on him, determined to finish him off before she took her own life.
Again her squad had come to her aid, stepping in between her and Simon and then talking her out of killing herself once she'd pointed the gun at her own head. They had to save her again a couple of weeks later once the trauma of the events again took her to the brinks of death. She just saw no reason to live. She'd humiliated herself, let herself get used and abused and done things that broke all her boundaries. She was wrecked.
Somehow though she managed to swallow the humiliation she'd felt for everything she put them through and she felt humbled by the fact they hadn't given up on her many months ago. She accepted their help and slowly but steadily made her way back to the land of living.
It had been a long and hard road, with physiotherapy and overcoming survival guilt and a lot of shame, but it had been made easier with her squad backing her the entire way until she could finally take her place behind her desk again. She had no idea how to ever pay them back but she hoped by doing her job and being a good squad member it would slowly weight up some of the burden she'd imposed on them.
Although she felt stuck in the same place, constantly struggling, some things had changed over the past two years. Sergeant Munch had left the department soon after Rollins walked back in. He'd told her he'd been waiting for her to return so she could weigh up his absence. Cragen had left a couple of months later, leaving the entire squad in the hands of the newly appointed sergeant Benson. It had been a bit of a hard transition with everyone needing time to adjust to the changes.
It had been a whole new role for Liv, one she was ready for but she couldn't lie, it was hard and especially the responsibility of her staff. Liv had tried to hold on to the close bond she'd formed with Amanda after her ordeal but something changed immediately between them as Liv became her boss. Amanda had gotten more reserved almost instantly, like she could confine in an equal but not in a boss. Liv was still trying to get her to open up but it didn't help that she now was the one who had to keep tabs that Amanda made her therapy sessions and that she stayed on the right track.
Another change was that the squad had a new member. Detective Keith Winters had joined right before Cragen left. Keith was Nick's age, divorced with no kids and he'd worked his way up the NYPD and transferred from Brooklyn SVU. He was an all-American, good cop with his head screwed on well enough to fit in well with the squad. He often teamed up with Nick but at times worked with Fin too. Liv had deliberately kept him away from Rollins though, Liv couldn't really explain why but there was just a sense Amanda worked better with people she knew.
Rollins had changed since she came back. No one was surprised that the ordeal had altered who she was and, not to seem harsh, for most it was a good thing. She was more cautious these days, didn't rush into situations as quickly and not as pushy as before. They did miss the outspoken Amanda though, these days she questioned herself more and Liv often had to ask for her opinion instead of her just blurting it out like before. She still had an uncanny gift to think like the perpetrators but since her ordeal she'd also learnt to connect with the victims better. Again, it might sound harsh, but she'd become an even better detective since what happened, Liv of course wished it never happen but she admired Amanda for coming back from it and the brilliant detective she'd become. She tried to tell Amanda that often, to empower her, but it was hard to say it without making it sound like that horrendous ordeal was a blessing in disguise.
So many things had changed over the past two years but some things hadn't. Amanda, Fin and Nick still had their desks in the same spots. Amanda kept a photo of her and her sister in the bottom drawer. And Amanda was still living at Fin's. He had made sure she knew she was welcomed to stay as long as she wanted and that he liked her company. He didn't tell her though that it was also so he could keep an eye on her. He knew she struggled. He saw it every day at work, the only time she sometimes relaxed was back home, for a short minute in front of the TV or when they had a laugh and she forgot her sister was no longer dead.
For short moments it could be like before, they argued about which baseball team played the best game, fought about which restaurant to order take-out from when no one felt the urge to cook. They contemplated each other well when it came to domestics. Fin liked laundry while Amanda hated it, perhaps because she didn't like going down in the dark basement in the building. She on the other hand scrubbed the toilet and the kitchen with delight, she did the dishes and he did the drying, he had fun vacuuming while she changed the sheets often, which of course he had to laundry though.
She stayed mostly in Ken's room, Fin had helped her make it her own. She didn't mind Ken's basketball stuff but Fin had put some Atlanta touches in there. He'd surprised her with a painting they ran upon at an outdoor market last year. It was some field with big trees in a row, she'd said it was walnut trees and it reminded her of home so he'd sneaked back later to buy it for her. He'd been a little stunned by the tears in her eyes when he gave it to her. He could find her sitting on her bed just staring at the painting some times. It was a little weird to him but it seemed to calm her and there were other things that worried him more than her staring at walnuts.
He had to keep track of her eating properly. Along with the changes in her personality came a loss of appetite. He wasn't sure what that was about but she just didn't seem to enjoy food as much these days. He'd passed it by Liv one day and she'd said something about that it could be survivor guilt but Fin didn't get how grief and depriving yourself food were linked.
He needed to make sure she didn't overdo her running, he did that by trying to distract her with other activities like grabbing a beer or watching some game on TV. She made her therapy sessions fine without him reminding her. He kept a little tabs on her medication. She'd been on antidepressants since the ordeal. He wasn't sure what good they did though cause to him she seemed depressed. He knew it was a low dose though, something about her not wanting to get addicted like her mom.
She struggled with bad nightmares most nights and that's what had finally made Ken's bed her permanent night residence, she'd felt bad for waking him up constantly. He would hear her down the hall though, at times he hurried to her side to try and wake her up before whatever haunted her in her dream got to her. At times he only woke up once that loud shriek escaped her, and then he would lie there waiting to hear her tiptoeing past his room towards the bathroom and the sound of the shower getting turned on. Most nights he fell back to sleep listening to the disrupted rays of water and with images of her naked body getting soaked. She still turned him on but he knew he couldn't act on it. It had to be on her terms now.
He would wake up again as the scent of her reached him and the slight dip in the mattress as she climbed in. He stayed semi awake to see if it would be a night where she stayed on her side of his bed or if it was a night she needed to be held. If she sneaked closer to him he had to still wait to see if she wanted to be held or not or to just lie close. It was a straining waiting game almost constantly but never would he falter. The reward was worth it those nights when he got to feel her body against his own.
The smell of her newly washed body and those wet strands clinging to him as she wrapped herself around him. Her breath over his skin, her heart pumping close to his, his arms around her petite frame. He treasured those nights when they just held on to each other. He wanted more, to say that wasn't the case would be a lie. He wanted more but he wasn't sure it could ever be more.
They had tried. Tried to have sex. It wasn't really working. It had taken a long time before she got close to him like that again. He'd been her nurse for months, helping her shower, taking care of the scars all over her back, helping her with the physiotherapy for her hands. It was a weird kind of closeness for both of them, he could feel how uncommon she was to receive help, and he to offer it. He was only delighted to be the one she let help though, to everyone else she had to act tough but with him she could let her guard down at least a little.
Then she started sitting a little closer to him on the couch again. She'd let him wrap his arm around her shoulders, he felt her hand or foot search for his. Tiny steps towards some sort of normalcy between them. He'd known it been too soon though once her lips suddenly visited his. He'd enjoyed the familiar feel of her lips and to get to taste her again so he hadn't even tried to stop her even though he knew it wasn't a good idea. The moment had turned awkward quickly once she abruptly left his lips, breathing franticly with a glazed look in her eyes. He had tried to stop her from taking off but then let her retreat to her room where she stayed until the next morning.
It was like getting turned on scared her, like it was forbidden somehow.
The kissing kept happening every now and then, he figured it was her stubbornness that made her keep trying, maybe hoping that someday it would feel different. But it never got different. It could end one of two ways. Both ways were close to devastating every time but he preferred the times when she pulled away with that glazed look on her face.
He usually got swept away, did his best to keep his hands off her and let her be the one exploring while he tried to just enjoy the moment while it lasted. The times she suffered through it, lacking a better word for it but he saw suffering on her face each time. He tried taking it easy but at times he couldn't keep his hands off her after a while, hoping to help her along to that place he knew she wanted to reach but it failed each time. If she didn't pull away franticly he would feel her body tense up and when he broke away she laid like paralyzed until he could get through to her after urging her to take deep breaths. Once she finally was able to breathe her body broke out in uncontrollable tremors followed by tears and she pulled away shamefully. Usually it took her a while to get function back in her legs which made her unable to withdraw from him making the situation even worse as he could tell just how mortified she felt. It didn't help that he tried to tell her it was okay, that she had nothing to feel embarrassed about. She always shielded her face, most times she cried uncontrollable, sometimes she screamed at him until he pulled away.
They never talked about it afterwards. It was like something secret and unmentionable, something forbidden. It pained him but yet he couldn't resist her, couldn't stop hoping it would one day work, that they would find their way back to what they had or maybe even something more. They were after all already living together, at times he toyed with the thought they might be meant to be more than partners with benefits. But then reality hit and he realized there was a good chance she would never be herself again. That parts of the Amanda he knew was still trapped in a cold, dark bunker.
Amanda did her best not to think or feel too much. She focused totally on work. The time between shifts she tried to make bearable best way she could. Fin was her anchor, the one person she trusted completely. She did trust Liv and Nick but she felt like a freak around them. Fin never made her feel like a freak, not even when she deserved to be treated like one.
She knew she acted weird at times. She zoomed off when memories of her sister overwhelmed her, thankfully that mostly happened off the clock. She couldn't control the nightmares and she hated going to sleep each night since she knew 8 times of 10 she would be back down there in that dark bunker. Simon was down there with her, at times it was her mother holding that whip instead of him.
Getting awoken by Fin and saved from that dark bunker made her feel like a burden. Him having to remind her to eat or to not exaggerate her exercise made her feel like a burden. She knew he didn't think of her like that, she at least hoped he didn't. But she saw the toll it took on him. The toll of taking care of her. She did her best to do that on her own, she tried really hard but she knew she couldn't fool him. He saw how much effort it took for her to keep up the act that everything was okay, that she was getting by alright. She wanted to reward him somehow.
She tried to do that the only way she knew how, the one way she'd been good at. She wanted desperately to find her way back to that place they'd been at, not just for his sake but for her own as well. She wanted that closeness, the intimacy and that relief that only pleasure could bring. But then something inside her happened, something that felt like dying, and she knew very well how that felt, it was painful. And then she was back to acting like a freak and in front of him of all people. The reward turned to a punishment instead. For both of them. The pain in his eyes, the pain she felt inside as she failed them both. Life was a constant struggle these days and that's why she tried to neither think nor feel too much.
Neither one of them were morning people so their morning rituals were usually quiet and went on routine. Whoever woke up first fixed coffee and then whoever got out of the shower first poured it for themselves and the other one. They worked well together like that. This morning she was first out and she handed him his mug as he walked out into the kitchen. She didn't anticipate either a smile or a thanks and didn't even register the pat he gave her arm.
He'd notice that she wore yet another one of her long sleeved shirts even though the weather news warned for yet another day of humidity. The entire summer and now early fall had been crazy hot but Amanda had still worn her long sleeves. He knew her scars bothered her. The stigmata marks on her hands were hard to hide and once in a while the impact they had reminded them all of what she'd been through. Like when she dropped a fork at lunch or her pen slipped out of her still weak grip. She always tried to cover up quickly but he saw the brief moment of defeat on her face.
It had taken her a few months to work up the strength in her hands and the fact she couldn't rely on her trigger finger had kept her at her desk for two frustrating months until she finally was able to pass her gun test using her left hand instead. She had worried her squad didn't trust her to have their back but worked really hard to prove they could rely on her. He'd been the link between her and the rest of the squad when she wasn't strong enough to face them by herself, he made sure everyone felt safe and secure with each other.
Amanda refilled her mug and then they took off towards the station. He let her drive today as many other mornings since she usually was more alert early mornings. Only problem with her driving was that she got to choose radio station and he had to suffer through some singer songwriter tunes. But seeing her hum along with a slight smile on her face as she maneuvered through the early morning traffic rush made it all worthwhile.
"You want to make a stop?" she asked at the next traffic light.
"Yeah, I'm starving," he mumbled. She made a stop at the curb by one of the food trucks they frequently visited and he jumped out.
"Whole grain with or without egg?" he asked her through the open window as he shoved the door closed.
"I'm not really hungry," she answered.
"With or without egg?" he repeated giving her one of his stern looks.
"Without," she sighed and then watched him walk up to the truck.
She tapped the wheel a little along with the music as she let her eyes wander across the street. Her eyes got caught on two ladies of the night walking down the street probably going back home after a night with a trick or two. She froze and sat up a little as she tried to focus her eyes on the dark skinned one. It looked like Sierra, the one person she'd relied on while under as Shay. Amanda was about to open her door and get out when the woman turned her head fully in the direction towards the car and Amanda realized it wasn't Sierra.
Amanda felt a bit torn, she both wanted it to have been Sierra and not. She hadn't spoken to Sierra in 4 months now. Fin didn't know but she'd kept in contact with her. She'd been on her mind as she recovered and then when Gordon turned up dead, with cement feet in Delaware River, it had rattled her. She'd felt a need to connect with the one person she knew could relate and she'd called Sierra. She'd seemed fine, her old spunky self and it almost felt as no time had passed since they last spoke.
Gordon's demise had of course reached the girls at the club. Sierra had been forced to take other work outside Assets once Gordon's side business vanished with him. She was after all used to a glamorous lifestyle as she herself put it. It sounded like she had it rough for a while but now everything was starting to settle again. She'd sent Fin over to her at the club with some money, money she borrowed but since then had paid him back. He of course said she didn't have to but it was important to her, she wanted to help Sierra out. She just hoped she hadn't used the money for drugs, something Fin had said was a high probability though.
After that she'd called her up every other month or so just to check in and small talk. She couldn't explain it but she still felt close with Shay and Sierra made it easy to ease back in to that personality. Sierra thought Shay was hooked up with her sugar daddy these days, her sugar daddy being Fin. Amanda had let her think what she wanted and always answered her questions evasively. Her purpose for calling was only to check in on Sierra, to make sure she was doing okay and maybe just pretend that for the duration of the call life was as carefree as she could pretend while being Shay.
But 4 months ago another girl had started answering Sierra's phone. The other girl said she was a roommate and that Sierra was okay but Amanda got a sense not everything was okay. She wasn't reported missing or dead at least and she hadn't been picked up by the police this last year, Amanda had checked. Amanda had toyed with the thought of stopping by Assets but she'd managed to talk herself out of it. Maybe Sierra just didn't want to talk to her any longer and she had to accept that.
"Okay, let's go," Fin said jumping in to the car, tossing her plastic wrapped sandwich over to her. Amanda got startled and failed to keep the sandwich on her lap.
"You okay?" Fin asked noticing her slightly odd reaction. Amanda nodded, bringing the sandwich back up in her lap.
"Sure?" he asked since he wasn't convinced. She looked pale and like she'd been on her way out of the car. He was a little afraid she'd gotten one of her panic attacks. The ones brought on suddenly by something to him unknown and that she tried to downplay but he knew was real and terrifying for her.
"Yeah, let's go," she said starting the car back up.
They were working a rather straight forward case with a known perpetrator right now. The victim was a fifteen year old girl though and it had struck Amanda a little too close to home. The perpetrator had been the mother's boyfriend and the girl, Hailey Specter, had persisted it was consensual for a long time and just didn't want to hear that what he'd done was illegal. She said he loved her and it had taken a long time for the detectives to break through.
Liv and Amanda had mostly handled the young girl and Amanda had been the one that finally reached her and slowly she'd started to tell them what exactly had happened between the two. The charges had upped once they had the complete picture. The girl's mother was nothing like Amanda's own when it came to abuse or any addiction but there were similarities with the way both moms seemed to pretend they didn't know what was going on.
Liv knew about Amanda's past, how she'd lost her virginity at age 14 to one of her mom's boyfriends. She knew this thanks to that ridiculous deal that the Mayhem choker set up and that forced Amanda to answer his incisive questions to get the answers that they needed to learn about all his victims including Amanda's own sister. Liv saw how this case affected Amanda but since she also knew that it was healing to help others she hoped this would have a good outcome for both the girl and Amanda. She kept a close eye on Amanda and was proud of her when she got the girl to open up. They managed to build a solid case that they handed over to Barba and Liv was hopeful it was a catharsis process for her detective.
Amanda did feel good about getting the girl to open up even though it was hard to listen to her statement. Until the boyfriend was locked up though she wouldn't feel completely at ease. They'd let him out on bond to all their dislike but also to Amanda's horror.
"Are you sure she's really safe?" Amanda asked Nick for a second time in a short period of time and she walked up to him feeling a need to look him in the eye when he answered. It wasn't that she distrusted him but she had to make sure that the girl was safe from her abuser and Liv had left Nick in charge of getting the mom and girl a safe place to stay until the trail started.
"I'm sure Rollins," Nick said trying to keep the slight annoyance he felt away from his voice. He got she was invested in the case and just wanted to keep the girl safe but he wished she'd trust him enough to have this handled.
"Maybe they should have someone sitting on them?" she said.
"There's a car sitting on the creep," Keith said jumping in to help Nick out. He didn't get why Rollins was stressing so much over this one. Sure, they all wanted the girl safe but she was very keen about this particular girl.
"And like we haven't seen bad guys sneaking away from patrol cars…" Amanda said rolling her eyes slightly at Keith.
Liv had been watching them through her window. She wasn't sure what was being said but Amanda walking up to Nick's desk couldn't be a good sign and Liv thought about going out there.
"Would it really hurt… I mean NYPD can surely afford a car on them as well," Amanda tried.
"I offered okay?" Nick said leaning back in his chair, "The mother declined, she felt safe he'd stay away."
"She felt safe?" Amanda questioned, "What about Hailey…"
Amanda suddenly stopped talking midsentence with her eyes somewhere above his head. Nick followed her eyes over to the gate.
"Mrs Rollins," Nick whispered a bit stunned seeing Amanda's mom standing there. He looked back at Amanda but since she seemed frozen Nick got up off his chair and walked over to her mom in her place.
"Mrs Rollins," Nick said again catching the older woman's attention.
"Please, it's Emily," she said recognizing Nick from his visit to her home years ago.
"Sorry. Emily. I just never learn," Nick smiled extending his hand towards her. She hesitated but then took it but let it go just as fast as she'd latched on.
"Come on in," he said guiding her further in with a light hand on her back. Emily looked a bit reserved, clinging on to her handbag very tight to her body. Her eyes darted around the squad room, throwing suspicious looks at the uniforms and detectives in the room. Nick's eyes had gone back to Amanda though. She seemed to have gotten her momentum back but looked a little overwhelmed, her face pale and she even took a step back as they approached.
Keith had gotten up from his chair too and looked a little amused as his eyes went back and forth between the apparent mother and daughter. They did not seem at odds at all and he silently appreciated that someone felt the same resentment towards their parent as he did to both of his. The silence did get a little awkward though.
"So what brings you to town?" Nick said jumping in as he felt the awkwardness too. His hand had dropped from the older woman's back. Emily turned her head towards him and looked as though she was about to speak when Liv interrupted them.
"Mrs Rollins? How nice to see you again," she said walking up to them. She extended her hand and again the older woman hesitated but then grabbed it halfhearted. Liv had already caught the obvious uncomfortable look covering Amanda's face and tried to think quickly.
"What brings you to town?" she asked repeating Nick's question.
"I was hoping to get a word with my daughter," Emily said turning her attention back at Amanda. Everyone else's attention went to her as well. Amanda squirmed slightly feeling like the room was caving in on her. It was really warm in there right?
"I'm busy, I can't really step outside right now…" Amanda was surprised she was even able to put words together.
"I just need a minute," Emily chipped in quickly.
Amanda turned slightly towards Liv not really sure why or for what. Liv searched her face for some indication to what she wanted or needed but couldn't read her detective and gestured towards her office just to do something.
"Take my office…" she offered with a lower voice even though she knew everyone heard her. Amanda frowned slightly but tried to recover quickly.
"No," she said shaking her head a little, "the interview room…?"
"Sure," Liv said doing her best to not touch the blonde. She looked in dire need of a hug or any kind of affection.
"We can't offer you much, but a coffee perhaps?" Liv said turning back to the mother hoping to give Amanda some time to compose herself.
"No thank you," Emily answered surly though and pinned her eyes in her daughter again. Amanda turned on her heal and started walking towards the interview room trying to straighten her back as much as she was able to right now. Why was she here? Why now?
In two years she's spoken to her mom exactly once. It was last year when she'd called to, in her usual passively aggressively manner, inquire why the birthday card she sent was returned to sender. Amanda had tried to explain the somewhat complicated situation using as few words as possible since she knew her mom could, and probably would, use every single one of them against her in some way or another. She hadn't been too combative though but there had been a hint of disapproval in her voice when she learnt this Fin character wasn't a girlfriend but her male partner. The birthday card had arrived a few days later and another one this year.
Amanda had sent cards and flowers for her mother's birthdays and gifts at Christmas. She'd dropped her mother a few e-mails over the years just to check in but she wasn't sure she received them since she never replied. Amanda wasn't sure why she kept writing. She didn't like her mother but she stilled loved her for some reason. She tried to explain it to herself with the fact her mother was now her only family. But what kind of person did it make her? What kind of person could love someone that had repetitive inflicted pain on you and out loud told you that she hated you? Only a miserable person would still love someone that didn't love them back.
Amanda stepped to the side to let her mom pass. She watched that sharp chin, that slanting nose ridge and those suspicious blue eyes that immediately scanned the room they walked in to. She swallowed hard as she saw Fin step back in to the squad room and she met his eyes across the room as she closed the door.
"Who's that with Amanda?" Fin asked having just walked back in from a brief visit downstairs. Liv was on her way back to her office already.
"Her mom," Nick let Fin know.
Fin looked a bit stunned but then immediately turned back to the interview room to try and get a glimpse of her. It would be a big, fat lie if he said he wasn't very curious about this woman. He hated her with all his guts but he was also very curious. He'd never met her and Amanda very rarely spoke of her. He'd seen her photo up on that wall once they tried to find his missing partner. It was an old mug shot from when she was arrested for assaulting another woman in the parking lot of a supermarket. Next to the photo hung a medical report for the young girl Amanda. That was all he had to see to hate this woman.
"What is she doing here?" he asked knowing she'd never called once during Amanda's recovery or any time after that. For all he knew Amanda had only received a single birthday card from this poor excuse of a mother.
"She said she wanted to talk to her," Nick informed him, "Seemed a bit urgent."
Both of them kept their eyes on the two blonde figures that seemed to be at a standoff inside the interview room. Keith meanwhile had sat down again by his desk feeling a bit disregarded. No one had even hinted at introducing him. His eyes were on the two male detectives. He had no idea why they seemed this interested in the newly arrived guest. She'd just looked like a reserved, on the grumpier side, aging woman. He couldn't help but think 'like mother, like daughter' since Rollins from the very first day he stepped in to this squad room came across as very reserved. He'd never gotten a good read on her. He had of course heard the rumors and he'd followed the news years ago as they reported about the missing NYPD detective and the unmasking of the notorious Mayhem killer.
He'd been out there on the streets keeping his eyes open for both of them. But even though she was a fellow cop the news had faded quickly as everyday life went on and it wasn't until he got notice of his new assignment that memories of that resurfaced again. Her name escaped him but he remembered the photo of her that had circled the police department and he recognized her as he shook her hand that first day. She'd seemed timid but given him a smile and a proper welcome. He'd soon found out though that she was a bit tricky. He couldn't really explain just how and he really didn't get a chance to get to know her better as she kept to herself mostly and for some reason he was never partnered up with her. He'd tried to quiz Amaro about her but he immediately got defensive. There were just some things with this squad you never talked or touched upon and Keith had worked long enough to know when to back off. Anything detective Amanda Rollins was simply off topic.
"I don't like it," Fin mumbled as he kept watching his partner.
Liv had gone back to her office for the soul purpose of keeping an eye on Amanda and her mom through the mirror in to the interview room. Of course she hadn't made it that obvious and she got some help by Amanda and her mom remaining standing behind the table so Liv could sit down at her desk and still watch them. She really wanted to turn the sound on and cursed her own sense of privacy which made her unable to do it.
She tried to keep an eye on the file she'd been reading before Amanda's demeanor out in the squad room had caught her attention and then Amanda's mom suddenly showing up which had brought her out of her office. But she couldn't keep her eyes off the two in the next room. They seemed to be talking, or Amanda's mom seemed to be talking while Amanda mostly listened with that crease between her eyes getting deeper by the minute.
Liv could read a lot just from their body languages. Amanda's arms were crossed in front of her, shoulders up and she was slightly turned away from her mother. Her mother was still clinging to her handbag. Both in defensive stances and further apart from each other than you'd expect from a mother and daughter talking. Liv knew their history though, from the medical reports she'd dug up when Amanda was missing. She wasn't sure what the status of their relationship was today but she didn't think they were in contact.
Cragen had called Emily up once they found Amanda and knew that she was going to pull through. Liv remembered the disgust on their captain's face afterwards, he rarely showed emotions like that so she knew it had been bad. He'd told her what the mother had said.
"Of course she's okay, that kid always lands on her feet however way you toss her. Unlike my other daughter unfortunately."
It had been a very weird thing to say but Liv didn't doubt that it was exactly what she'd said. It could be explained away with grief, with worry, with shock but for Liv the answer was simple. That woman was evil. Only evil could put a child through hell and then be able to show no remorse what so ever.
Liv stopped trying to pretend she was reading the file as Emily took a step closer towards Amanda who was now shaking her head. The crease was gone and instead she looked a bit terrified. Emily had let the tight grip around her purse go and was gesturing with both hands in a somewhat agitated way. Liv could hear her voice through the door but couldn't pick up on what exactly was being said. She knew by Amanda's face though that it wasn't something good.
Liv rose to her feet the moment after the slap landed on Amanda's cheek. It was hard enough to make strands of hair fly as her head spun by the impact. Liv was stunned but able to make her way to the window. She'd expected Amanda to put up some fight but she just took it, no hands came up to defend herself, nothing seemed to be said. And then there was a second slap.
"You ungrateful bitch…" Liv heard Emily hiss as she stepped through the door.
"Step away Mrs Rollins," Liv shouted hurrying around the table to get to them in case the older woman would try a third attack.
"You…" the older woman directed Liv's way with a sinister look across her face.
"Me what?" Liv challenged feeling her blood boil.
"You have no right to burst in here," Emily said.
"You just assaulted a NYPD detective," Liv informed her, "I'm placing you under arrest."
Fin opened the door out towards the squad room just as Liv brought up her cuffs.
"What's going on in here?" he asked a bit baffled.
The raised voice from the interview room had of course reached them out in the squad room but everyone had tried to keep their eyes down to not invade privacy. Once he'd heard Liv's strong voice though he'd dared to charge in and now here she was cuffing Amanda's mom?
"You can't do that," Emily said horrified as Liv spun her around against the table. Her palms and purse landed hard against the surface.
"Oh I sure ca…" Liv said grabbing a hold of one wrist but then she got interrupted as Amanda suddenly stepped up by her side, her hand landing softly on Liv's arm.
"No, Liv, please," Amanda begged silently. Liv gave her a concerned look. Amanda's eyes were glanced and her cheek was burning red. Liv felt Amanda's hand shiver but when her eyes dropped to it Amanda quickly pulled it back in.
"You can't let her…" Liv said quietly but never finished the sentence as Amanda's face dropped further.
"It would just cause more… it would get messier," Amanda stuttered. Liv had already let Emily's hand go and now she put her cuffs away.
"You're all crazy," Emily mumbled as she straightened her back as well as her blazer.
"We?" Liv questioned but tried to settle down, "You get out of here and don't ever step in to my squad room again."
"If this is how you treat guests…" Emily said but left it at that as she took a step towards the door. She pierced her eyes at her daughter and Liv got ready to jump in if she tried to hit her again.
"I should've listen to your father and had that abortion," Emily hissed.
"Okay, get out of here right this minute," Liv said with a raised voice as she would arrest this woman if she lingered even a second longer. Emily huffed but started moving towards the door. Fin stepped out of her way only after been given a glare by the older woman. He made sure she knew he wasn't intimidated though, he only stepped away to get rid of her.
Emily walked straight towards the gate, passing Nick who'd been hovering a few yards behind Fin.
"Are you okay?" Liv asked Amanda once she was sure the evil witch was really walking out. Amanda nodded trying to compose herself.
"What happen?" Fin asked coming closer. Either Amanda or Liv answered him though.
"Are you sure?" Liv asked Amanda instead. Amanda nodded again, trying to put some energy behind her gesture since she wasn't able to verbally answer right now.
"What did she want?" Liv tried. She was curious what had gone down in there.
"It was…" Amanda started but trailed off as she tried to come up with an answer, "…nothing. She's just… Nothing."
"She hit you for no reason?" Liv asked making Fin's eyes grew wider. He'd missed that.
"She doesn't need a reason," Amanda whispered. Liv's heart sunk as she saw the sadness on Amanda's face. Both Liv and Fin just stood there not sure what to say.
"Can I go back to work?" Amanda asked as she felt in bad need to get out of there.
"You want to just take a minute?" Liv asked since she wasn't sure Amanda could head back out just yet.
"I rather get to work," Amanda said, that pleading back in her voice again.
"Okay," Liv said giving her a nod even though Amanda kept her eyes down. Amanda turned to walk out but stopped briefly by Fin's side.
"Can we go check on Hailey?" she asked him and he nodded almost immediately. She nodded back and then walked out to her desk, making sure to avoid both Nick and Keith's stares as she wasn't sure she could stand seeing anyone else pity her right now. Instead she focused on collecting her things and then headed towards the gate. She got a little frightened her mother hadn't made her way out of the building yet and she waited for Fin to catch up to her as soon as she'd made it around the corner and out of sight of the squad room. She was in desperate need to lean her back up against the wall anyway.
Fin meanwhile had exchanged a glance with Liv. He was looking for some answers to what had just gone down and how to handle it. But her face gave him no answers, she looked just as worried as he felt. He tried one last time but Liv just sighed and shrugged slightly.
"We'll be with the Specters," Fin said and Liv gave him a nod.
She hadn't even tried to get behind the wheel so he knew she was off her game as they rode towards the hotel Hailey Specter and her mom was staying at. He made no effort to try and pretend he wasn't shooting her concerned looks. He'd learnt a long time ago she hated getting side-glances and even more when someone tried to hide them.
"I'm fine," she whispered after a while as she got worried he paid more attention to her than the traffic.
"You want to tell me what happened back there?" he asked.
"Not really," she muttered.
He stayed quiet for a bit but he couldn't leave the matter just yet.
"Your cheek looks painful," he finally said.
"Life is painful," she mumbled.
"Maybe talking about it would make it less so?" he suggested.
For the first time since they got in the car she turned to face him straight on. She gave him a confounded look and his face cracked quickly.
"What?" he said, laughter down his throat.
"Really? Talk?" she questioned.
"Well I heard it helps other people," he laughed.
"We're not other people Fin," she said less amused turning to look outside again at anything and anyone.
"I know we're not but sometimes it's good to do the total opposite of what you're used to," he tried.
"Says the man who refuses to even try sushi," she sighed.
"I want my food cooked, not just rolled but nice try getting off the subject," he said as their eyes met briefly. They rode in silence for a while.
"Okay," he said as he decided to not push the matter further, "your mother proved she's still the wicked witch of the south and when you feel ready to talk about what happened you know I'll listen Amanda."
He didn't take offence to her not even giving him a look, he knew neither of them handled emotions well.
"I know," she said after a few heartbeats and then the rest of the ride was quiet.
He knew this recent case had hit close to home for her and he was relieved over the outcome. They still hadn't convicted the sleaze but the trial had started and there was really no doubt he would be found guilty. He liked to watch Amanda interact with the girl Hailey, he could tell the two liked each other and that the girl trusted his partner. Even with the harsh reality Amanda lit up when she was around the girl. He hoped she knew she'd done something really good for this girl.
For the next couple of days Amanda and Liv spent most time in court, both were witnesses for the prosecution and then sat in the gallery with Hailey and her mother. Liv had to excuse herself at times, she had to run the squad as well. Fin had offered to sit with Amanda but she'd declined, letting him know she was a big girl and he'd be to better use at SVU.
They had to wait a week for the ruling once Barba had closed but then, as expected, he was found guilty. As usual when it came to sex crimes the sentence wasn't as harsh as they wanted but at least the guy was put behind bars and Hailey would get to go through the rest of her adolescence without having to worry about him being around.
After the sentencing they usually cut the ties with the victims and their family but Fin knew Amanda kept in contact with the girl. Or more so it was the girl keeping contact with Amanda. She texted, e-mailed and even dropped by the station. Fin knew that Amanda knew what she had to do so he stepped away for the time being to give her room to do it. But he started to realize after days turned to a week and then two that she struggled to detach.
"If you're transforming or whatever it's called it's even more important you cut her loose," Fin said. Amanda had gotten a text just as they sat down to eat one night and he'd been unable to keep quiet as he saw her text back. It had resulted in a rather heated back and forth between them while they ate. Or rather while Fin ate and Amanda mostly ran her fork through the food on her plate.
"I already got a shrink thank you very much and it's called transference by the way," she said making a face at him.
"So you've talked to Olivet about Hailey," he said hoping that was the case. She rarely mentioned anything about Olivet or the therapy sessions she had with her every other week and he'd let that be her thing and not asked her anything.
"None of your business," she said moving towards the fridge to get a soda. They'd forgotten to put drinks out and she grabbed one for him as well and put it down loudly by his plate.
"You are my business, partner, so let's stop beating around the bush, we both know you identify with this girl," he said.
"I don't," she said stubbornly.
"You were fourteen Amanda, Hailey was fourteen when she started sleeping with that sleaze ball. He's just like your mom's boyfriend."
"Was not, I seduced him Fin," Amanda said getting back up from her chair again to walk away.
"And that's exactly what Hailey said too at first," he reminded her, raising his voice so she would still hear him as she walked in to the living room.
"It's not the same," she shouted back, sitting down with a sulky face on the couch with her soda.
"Bull," he shouted back, "he was just as big of a predator."
"I loved him, he cared for me," she shouted back, "God knows no one else did but he really did."
"Fourteen," he repeated. This was the most she'd ever spoken about this so Fin was a little excited at the same time as he was angry.
"Not the same," she said determined but with a normal voice so he barely heard her.
"How can you say that Amanda?" he said getting up from the chair as he had to face her. He stayed on the other side of the room though knowing she didn't like to be cornered. He made sure to not raise his voice now, this was a discussion he wanted to start and not another shouting match.
"You meet girls like Hailey frequently. Girls in similar situations as you were in. Neglected, at risk…"
"Shut up Fin," she said between deep inhales.
"I'm not saying it to hurt you Amanda. I'm saying it cause I care about you."
"Doing a poor job there buddy," Amanda said trying to keep herself together.
"I'm sorry," he said and managed to catch her eyes briefly. He was a bit relieved she didn't look as pissed as she'd sounded but he could tell she was upset and he didn't like that either. He dared to approach her but stopped by the single armchair as she pulled her knees up to her body. He sat down on the chair so she wouldn't feel the need to get more defensive which might get her to leave the room.
"Your mom didn't watch out for you as she should've," he said carefully.
"I didn't need her to…" Amanda tried but her voice failed her.
"You did Amanda, all kids need someone to look out for them. You didn't have that someone. What your mom did to you…"
"You don't know my mom," she said defensively.
"I do know your mom. I meet your mom in every scumbag parent we come across. I know she did the opposite to looking out for you which makes her a nasty person."
Fin let that sink out for a few seconds, gave her a little time since he wasn't done yet.
"And your mom's boyfriend was one of those nasty persons too," he said preparing for resistance but none came. She kept her chin to the top of her knees and her eyes down on the soda can in her hands.
"What was his name?" he asked carefully.
"Danny," she answered after a while with barely a whisper.
"Danny was a predator Amanda, he had no business messing with a fourteen year old."
"I messed with him," she whispered.
"That's not how it works and you know better…" he started but got interrupted by her sudden movement. She put the soda down on the coffee table, so forcefully it spilled.
"I know shit," she said getting up to take off.
"Stop," Fin shouted out quickly making her stop midstep. He'd seen her shoulders pull up as his voice startled her and he felt bad for scaring her. He softened his voice as he continued.
"Please don't run from this Amanda," he pleaded, "just tell me what makes you different from Hailey? Make me understand what makes you different from any other underage girl we come across?"
She just stood there for a while and he knew there was still a chance she could take off and that he would probably have to let her go then. He watched her back, wanted to touch it, wanted to sooth her and make all this better for her but he feared she wouldn't let him. But then her phone buzzed over at the kitchen counter and she jumped slightly. They both figured it was Hailey again.
"What I had with Danny..." she suddenly said turning slightly towards him but keeping her eyes on her phone on the counter, "…that was, it was mutual. He needed something, and I needed something. We found comfort in each other."
"What you needed wasn't an old guy screwing you," Fin couldn't hold his tongue. She moaned loudly, obviously disgruntled with what he'd said. She dragged her fingers through her hair, stopping to pull at it slightly at the top of her head but then let her arms drop to her sides again.
"You just don't get it," she sighed.
"Then make me understand," he said.
"I told you, he was there for me like no other adult ever was," she said facing him. He had to fight really hard to not let his true feelings show all over his face. He would strangle this dude with his bare hands if he got the chance.
"He even told my mom to lay off me, he stood up for me."
Fin squirmed a little. To him it was so obvious this guy groomed her, he made her dependent on him like any other pedophile.
"He didn't use me," she said piercing her eyes in Fin as she could tell he wasn't changing his opinion on this matter, "if anything I used him. Hailey's a victim. I was never his victim."
"Amanda…" Fin said taking a step closer to her but stopped when he saw her shy back.
"No Fin, you don't get it. You'll never get it. I never felt used. All I felt was loved. It's a difference."
He shook his head with obvious disbelief across his face and it made her a little agitated. She took a few steps towards him.
"I knew what I was doing when I seduced him. I've always known and I'm accountable for my actions," she said raising her voice. He'd taken a step closer to her as well and reached out to touch her arm but she flinched and pulled away.
"I know you don't like to think of yourself as a victim Amanda…" he tried.
"Don't… I'm not," she said taking a few steps away from him. She took a deep breath and then swallowed hard trying to get rid of the sickening feeling down her throat. She had to think, she knew that if she got too defensive now it would only work against her. She realized she'd started pacing and stopped immediately.
"It was just different for me Fin, why can't you see that," she said trying to compose herself.
"Cause I don't do grey Amanda, you know that. You were a minor, he an adult, or at least he should've been acting like an adult and stayed away. There's no grey zone here. He should never have touched you."
"Well it happened and there's no need to dwell on it," Amanda said feeling a need to get off this topic quickly, "can't we just leave it at that?"
"Have you talked to Olivet about it?"
"Fin…" Amanda moaned turning her back at him. She didn't like him intruding in that, her shrink sessions were her own. It got too messy if he got in there too.
"C'mon, I worry about you. You were the sanest person I knew and then you go off on your one woman army operation, bringing down this Russian mobster and a serial killer all on your own. And then this whole bit with your mom's boyfriend. I know it's still you but I wonder… wonder what's really going on in there."
"So now I'm not sane?" she said doing her best to keep the tears that now balanced at the corner of her eyes off her voice.
"Of course that's what you take from that…" he muttered but took a deep breath as he knew he had to explain it better, "I get you Amanda, we think alike, we are alike, you know that. But I lost you there for a while. I get why you had to do it, if it had been my sister, my only family… I get it. But I was scared. I had no idea what was going on. If I'd ever get you back and when cases like Hailey come along I worry I'll lose you again. That you'll get lost."
"I'm not getting lost again Fin," she said feeling less angry at him.
"It's okay if you do though but just take me with you okay?"
She chuckled slightly, it felt really good to laugh right now. Hailey's case had made her tense, no point trying to deny it.
"You can talk to me you know," he said once her chuckle had sounded off, "I will get in your face and I'll tell you when I don't agree with you but you know I'll never turn my back on you. I will always be here for you boo. There's nothing you can't run by me."
"I know," she whispered feeling a little ashamed facing him but did her best to do it. She knew he deserved that.
"So you want to tell me what your mom wanted the other week?" he knew he was pushing. Rarely did they vent this much, he rarely confronted her since he was afraid he would push her away.
"Can we leave that for another day?" she asked feeling exhausted already. She wasn't keen on filling him in on how low her mom had sunk.
"Sure. You wanna finish that food now?" he suggested and she nodded just to get them moving. He grabbed her soda, leaving the stain for later and then joined her in the kitchen.
Amanda had been curious to see what Hailey had replied. She knew she would have to cut her off but it felt good to be able to help her along in her recovery. They usually left the victims once the ruling was in and never got to see them strive, or perhaps not strive which were the case with some of them unfortunately. But Hailey was taking small steps and in a way that helped Amanda too.
So she'd grabbed the phone as soon as she reached the counter. The text wasn't from her though. Amanda didn't recognize the number. She froze as she read the text.
"You want a cold one?" Fin asked as he walked by her. He knew she liked her beverages really chilled.
"Amanda?" he said when she didn't respond. Her eyes were stuck to the screen of her phone.
"Huh?" she said as her eyes popped up. He held up the soda.
"Want a new one?"
"Eh… no. No thanks," she said sounding a bit distracted.
"What's up?" he asked sitting down by his plate. He'd almost finished already but he did like to clean the plate.
"You know what, I'm really tired. I'm just gonna go lay down for a while… okay?" she started to back away from the counter. She looked a little suspicious to him but as he shot a look at her almost full plate he wondered if she was just trying to get out of eating.
"Not for the night I hope? I'll save your plate for later," he said trying to not push too much.
"Yeah, no, maybe," she said a bit evasive, shot him one of those innocent smiles of hers and then turned her back to him as she continued down the hall. She held her phone tight to her chest as she hurried to close the door behind her. She took a few deep breaths trying to get a grip on herself. She noticed that her hand was shaking a little as she unlocked her phone.
The text came up and she read it slowly feeling her blood freeze all over again;
"Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. The wrath of God is coming for you Amanda."
Reviews are more than welcomed. I know there's some high expectations out there for this sequel so I'd love to know what you think...