The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters has gone off to watch cartoons. Yes it's another rare Brotherhood fic from yours truly. I know I should write more and I probably will…Whenever. But for now, enjoy this bit of holiday madness and fun.
Holiday Nuts
"And another holiday comes to Bayville," Lance sighed as he walked down the street with the rest of the Brotherhood.
"Aw come on Lance," Todd said. "It's Christmas! Peace on Earth and Good Will towards men and all that stuff."
"GET OUTTA HERE YOU FREAKS!" A man shouted out his window.
"GO BACK WHERE YOU BELONG!" Another shouted. "AND LEAVE US ALONE!"
"LOUSY MUTANTS!" A woman shouted.
"Yeah I can just feel the love," Lance rolled his eyes.
"Well to be fair…" Wanda pointed out. "That might make people just a little bit nervous."
"I'm Mister Green Christmas! I'm Mister Sun!" Pyro danced around creating several tiny dancing fire creatures. "I'm Mister Heat Blister! I'm Mr. 101!"
"Oh no…" Lance put his hand to his head.
"They call me Heat Miser! Whatever I touch, starts to melt in my clutch! I'm too much!" Pyro sang happily as his little men of fire caused damage.
"He certainly is," Pietro sighed. "No wonder Magneto transferred him to our team!"
"Well why do you think you're here?" Todd looked at him.
Pietro blinked, then put his head in his hands. "I hate my life…"
"He's Mister Green Christmas, he's Mr. Sun! He's Mister Heat Blister! He's Mr. 101!" The little fire men did a kickline like the Rocketts.
"How does he get them to sing?" Todd blinked. "That's what I wanna know."
"Oh man…" Scott ran up with Kurt, Kitty, Jean and Rogue. "This we do not need!"
"And here comes the X-Geeks right on time," Todd sighed. "Just when the show was getting good too."
"If you're here to beat up Pyro be my guest," Lance told him. "He's all yours."
"Actually we didn't have a clue about this," Kitty said. "We're kinda out here for someone else."
"Someone else?" Lance asked. "I don't think anyone could be more destructive than that!" Pyro was singing and dancing his way into the Destruction Hall of Fame.
"Wanna bet?" Scott moaned as he pointed behind him.
Bobby was dancing around making several snow sculptures. "I'm Mister White Christmas! I'm Mister Snow! I'm Mr. Icicle! I'm Mr. Ten Below! They call me Snow Miser! Whatever I touch, starts to freeze in my clutch! I'm too much!"
"Okay why is a goody goody X-Man trashing the place?" Pietro asked. "I mean that's kind of our job!"
"Yeah it don't make sense," Todd scratched his head.
"He kind of got into some egg nog that didn't agree with him," Kurt said.
"I thought the Professor and Logan didn't let you guys drink?" Fred asked. "Not that it's a bad thing."
"Kitty made it," Kurt informed him.
"Ohhhhh," The Brotherhood nodded their heads.
"That would do it," Lance said.
"Hey!" Kitty put her hands on her hips.
"Look at the evidence Kitty, deal with it!" Rogue snapped. "Lord knows we have to!"
"She made some 'Holiday Cookies' and put half the mansion in the infirmary," Jean sighed. "Even Wolverine's healing factor isn't coping that well."
"You guys should have done what we did and used them as doorstops," Todd said. "That's what we did last year."
"I sent some to Kelly," Fred grinned. "The news from the hospital says he still has violent diarrhea!"
"Well at least it wasn't a total loss," Kurt grinned.
"You know I bet Magneto would kill to get a weapon of mass destruction like that," Pietro scratched his head. "Kitty do you take special orders?"
"Can we please stop making fun of my cooking and deal with this please?" Kitty shouted. "I mean they are totally trashing the place!"
"Let it snow!" Bobby shouted gleefully as he created more snow everywhere.
"You know he made several stop signs into snowmen?" Scott asked Lance.
"Oh, so that explains all the accidents downtown," Lance nodded.
"Uh should we do something before the cops arrive?" Wanda asked.
"Yeah we could use a good alibi," Fred thought.
"They're not coming," Scott sighed. "Kitty made some cookies for the police department."
"Hey that's a great idea!" Pietro snapped his fingers. "That's the best way to incapacitate the cops! Why didn't I think of that?"
"I meant it as a gesture of good will!" Kitty snapped.
"Did that idea ever backfire," Rogue rolled her eyes. "The cops took it as a gesture of attempted murder!"
"Oh wow and I thought nothing went right for us," Todd snickered.
"Okay Lance…" Scott hung his head. "I admit it. The Brotherhood isn't responsible for all the destruction and chaos in this town."
"Wow," Lance was impressed. "That's the nicest Christmas gift I ever got!"
"Yeah I thought you'd like it," Scott grumbled.
"ICE!" Bobby blasted at Pyro.
"FIRE!" Pyro blasted back.
"Oh goody now they're gonna kill each other," Rogue said.
"You say that like it's a bad thing," Wanda looked at her.
"I have an idea," Lance said. "I say we let them battle it out and we take out whoever wins."
" I know where we can get some hot cider," Kurt piped up.
"Yeah I could go for that," Todd nodded. "Those two are gonna be at it for a while."
"EAT WHITE COLD DEATH HEAT MISER!"
"SWALLOW THIS SPICY DISH SNOW MISER!"
"You know I think letting them burn off all that extra energy may not be such a bad idea," Jean winced as a fireball flew near her. Then she got hit in the face by a snowball. "OW! On the other hand…"
"This just got more interesting," Todd quipped as Jean went off to tackle the two combatants. "I give them five minutes before she cleans their clocks."
"Another Christmas, another holiday full of fighting," Kitty groaned. "So much for peace on Earth."
"Yeah like that's ever gonna happen," Pietro snickered. "Especially with the Cook of Death over here." He pointed to Kitty.
"Okay! You're dead!" Kitty went to tackle Pietro who sped off. Soon she was chasing him around all over the place. "HERE COMES THE GHOST OF YOU ARE SO NOT GONNA HAVE A FUTURE!"
"Hey let's go make obscene snowmen," Todd thought. "I know where we can get a lot of carrots."
"Oh lord…" Kurt put his head in his hand. "God bless us everyone, please! If these people are the future could use all the help we can get!"