This time, This place
This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Edward trailed his cold fingers down the radiating heat of his sleeping love, his very own Isabella Swan, the sleeping girl's skin on her arm reacting to his touch in a light show of goosebumps. It was a nondescript summer night, which had followed an average nondescript summer day. With the threat of Victoria behind them, and only the fretting Bella put up about the forthcoming wedding as a distraction, life had become complacent and pleasant. It had been two months since life had found order, two months since Bella and he had announced to Charlie about their intention to be wed by the end of summer, two months since Bella had confirmed herself to waiting until they were married to do all the things she had been so instant towards the whole year hence—she wanted to wait now to consummate their marriage, for them to make love for the first time as husband and wife, as well as wait to become one of the living dead, the soulless creatures that he and the rest of the Cullen clan was, to become a vampire. Time was running short until that day would come, a few days hence in fact.
The sound of Bella uttering something along the lines of "That dress is too poufy" made a smile tug at the corners of Edwards lips. A wedding dream… or nightmare rather, Edward assumed as she tossed lightly before settling down and falling back into a sound sleep, her breath coming in warm delicious, even breaths. Her sent was intoxicating and made him, in a grand way, wish that he had been of less morals, and that in their meadow a week ago, Bella hadn't decided to stop him from taking her and physically expressing his love to her in all the ways she had constantly tested him and begged him to do up until then. Thinking back on that day he sighed leaning back against the bed post of Bella's bed, resting his head back against the wooden grain. He had come to such clarity after that battle shared with the Wolfs, clarity about so many things, mainly about how controlling he had been over Bella. He had moved her about and configured himself to try and fit what he thought was best for her and her safety.
An almost ungraceful snort left him at the irony in that. Everything he had done to protect her had more often than not led her to the very hands of danger. Edward knew his biggest mistake in life… well more precise, in his existence, was leaving Bella after the birthday fiasco. It still plagued him how devastated and broken he had left her, it happened less now than it had before, but memories would surface in peoples minds, Charlie's mainly, about what Bella had suffered in his absence—because of his absence. She had become a zombie, for lack of a better comparison, some one on auto-pilot; she lived as a vacant shell, devoid of animation and life.
A grimace crossed the handsome features of the pale young man, his golden eyes closing briefly in the wake of such guilt and inner pain. Even with out a heart, his chest still clenched in that 'heart wrenching' pain that was grief over harming his love. He had driven the strongest willed woman he knew into quiet submission of loss and defeat, into what would be defined as insanity—Bella risking her neck in feats of reckless danger just to hear her hallucination of his voice. As much as he hated to think it, to admit it to himself, Jacob Black had more than helped her he had saved her and kept her alive.
Heh. Jabob Black. A name that would forever be an oxymoron in his dictionary; he both loathed the damn flee bitten mongrel, but also held him exultation for being Bella's savoir when he himself had come close to destroying her. She loved him, Bella loved Jacob. How could she not, he had mended her and pieced her back when Edward had so swiftly broken her into a million of pieces, all in an attempt to help her—keep her safe. God, how could he so often be so wrong?
Looking down at the sleeping form of his love… he would say soul mates, but he did not have a soul—no Jacob was Bella's soul mate, what she was to Edward was something much stronger and more unnatural than the worlds use of soul mates. Jacob had been everything normal and human, constant in Bella's life... the natural path her life would have taken had he not existed in her world. Jacob was like Bella's sun, warm bright, a life force that will always be consistent, rising and setting as God intended it. But Edward, yes Edward was unnatural and rare and cold, white and distant like the moon. When their paths cross, Edward and Jacob's, it's as if the moon and the sun on their rare occasion cross, causing an eclipse.
As much as Edward had opted and wanted Bella to try for a normal life, he was immensely grateful for Bella having chosen him over Jake; things could have so easily turned out different. But here she lay, safe, in his arms, his very own Bella. The urge to touch her swept through him, and indulging he laid out beside her wrapping an arm around her waist and laying his body along the line of her back. The sent of her hair, a strawberry sent mixed with the sweet smell of pure Bella tickled his nose and he inhaled deeply, leaning over to place a soft kiss to her warm cheek.
How blessed he was, and he knew it to the very fiber of his being. "Who was I to make you wait?" he whispered into the brunet strands of her hair. He had forced her to wait on him time and time again; he made her wait to reveal his secrets, wait to confess his love, wait on him to hopefully return, wait for him to make love to her. She had been patient given the circumstances, despite her verbal show of impatiens she put up with him. Edward knew he would never be able to heal what he broke completely, she would always carry that scar, would always have that place where Jake stitched together her broken heart, leaving his mark on her forever.
Little did Edward know that this placid way of living was soon to be disturbed and their world turned upside down.