When I'm Gone
'I won't cry,' was Draco's initial thought, but he knew he would. She was crying, he could see that plainly. But he couldn't hug her here, in public, he couldn't show emotion and console her, like his deepest desire was to do right now. That'd shatter his reputation. So would crying, and he knew he would cry, so why not just break his own glass house and get it over with. So he hugged her, and she hugged him back and they stayed like that for a long time in the middle of the Great Hall at Hogwarts-the last safe place. Draco was too aware of the people who passed by and watched the legendary Draco Malfoy with his face burried in the silken red hair of Ginny Weasley. It was not something you saw everyday, the carress of a Malfoy and a Weasley, a consensual occassion as it was right now.
And then Draco felt the tears, the crying. He shut his eyes tight to prevent those blasted, cursed tears from falling, but he could not help but let the strangled moan escape from his lips, since it had been choking him ever since he had found out that every man over fifteen was being recruited to face the Dark Lord. Draco knew his duty, but the thing was...Ginny was his duty, too. This fiery-haired vixen was his duty. He had to make sure she got what she wanted to her sweet heart's content and make sure that he was the only one who made her cry, on the rare occassions that he even bothered to. He had to make sure that no matter what, that ring on her finger stayed on.
That ring. He had given it to her for her sixteenth birthday. She was eighteen now. They were supposed to be married this year, but the issues with Voldemort had postponed it. The ring was silver, with a small, yet dazzling 24 karate diamond in the mouths of two serpents, each having an emerald engraved in the place where there should have been an eye. Right now both emeralds shown. If Draco were to die, one of those emeralds would not be shining. And he knew that if one of those diamonds were not shining, Ginny would take the ring off, whether of grief or anger he could not ponder.
She was a queer creature, but he loved her with all his stony heart. Anything she wanted, he would give her, though he did try to keep up appearances in public, he often couldn't hold himself back. She was his life, his happiness, she was everything to him. And now he had to go away to fight a war that he knew he would not return from. Voldemort always killed deserters first. "I love you Ginny," he told her, lacing his hands through her red hair and pulling her head roughly away from his, then kissing her gruffly on the lips. He knew she would remember it more if it was rough. He knew she liked it that way.
"You're coming back to me, right?" Ginny questioned him, her lips still pressed taut against his, "Right?" He pulled away and looked at her hard, his steel eyes boring into her amber-brown ones. What should he say? Did he wanted to press her with the truth, have her crying and sobbing here? He already knew she loathed and pondered over the tears that she could see in his eyes, and he already knew he'd do the same if there were tears in her eyes. He hated to see her cry. But did he want to lie to her? To have her face the truth when he didn't come back and live with the fact that her one true love lied to her before he died? Lied to her the biggest, whitest most horrible lie any lover could bestow upon another.
"I don't know," he muttered, sadly. But he did. He knew Voldemort would not spare him his life. Voldemort would give up conquering the world to have just Draco's life. Draco knew he would. He looked hard into Ginny's eyes, before turning away. "Stay well for me," he told her reassuringly as he could, "I really, really do love you, Ginny Weasley."
He caught her sigh, the distinct sadness in her eyes. "And I love you, Draco Malfoy. I really, really do." With that to hold upon his chest, Draco turned away, ready for the war he knew was ahead...ready to loose his life...
It was a year later that Ginny Weasley stood in the same place she had a year before, when Draco had made his parting. The war was over, the light had one, but not without the sacrifice of many. She just hoped the person she stood here waiting for was not one of those 'many'. And so Ginny waited. For an hour. For two hours. For three and then four, her hope slowly dying in her chest. Finally at the fifth hour she let out a sob. The hall was almost cleared now, a few people beginning to cry at the realization that their loved one really wasn't coming home. "No," Ginny said aloud, "He's coming."
Ginny began to loose hope at a faster pace. Slowly, she felt her insides crumbling to pieces, her heart slowly chipping away as it broke. She was the only one left now. The Hall was completely silent, except for a podgy old lady, kindfaced, though she was. She came up to Ginny. "Time to Go home, now, dearie," she said comfortingly, "Wherever he is, he's in a better place."
Ginny looked at the woman for a moment. "He's not dead, bitch!" she screamed suddenly, her voice breaking as she fell into the woman's motherly arms. The woman cooed gently, soothing her though she had just been insulted.
"These things come to pass..." the woman went on and on, and it was only some where in the middle of her lecture that Ginny remember the ring. She could still feel its cool silver on her wedding finger, sandwiched neatly between her pinky and middle finger. Ignoring the woman's words, she rose her hand to her face, her heart beating faster than it ever had. And there, on her ring, she saw the two snakes, with the diamond in their mouth...And her heart leaped!
"He's still alive," she said, almost hysterically, tearing away from the woman, and holding before her, her shaking hand. "He's really still alive!" The woman gave her a pitying look, as if to say, 'she's finally cracked', but the look quickly dissolved when she heard the sturdy sound of footsteps coming down the hall.
Ginny looked towards the sound, and, hardly able to believe it, she ran towards the person, her heart thumping, her eyes springing to life as she made out the silver-blonde hair and proud Malfoy-like structure. He was alive, and now he saw her, and his sturdy steps steadily quickened into a run, and finally the two met and held eachother tight, lips roaming and kissing every inch of skin in a frenzy to get reacquianted. "Draco, Draco," Ginny sobbed, and was satisfied beyond anything when she heard Draco's voice sobbing her name.
"Ginny Weasley," he said breathlessly pulling away, to her displeasure, "I really, really do love you."
And again, Draco caught her sigh, and saw the look of extreme, extreme happiness in her eyes. "And I love you, Draco Malfoy. I really, really do."
Author's Note: I was talking to my friend Alex on the phone and listening to When I'm Gone by Three Doors Down, and BAM! This hit me fast and hard. Based on the song I mentioned above. This song was written for the troops, and since this story was also written for the troop, this is about all the soldiers in Iraq, and though I do not under any circumstances support what Bush in doing over there in America, I do hope that all the troops are able the celebrate their Christmas peacefully, since it is not their fault. Review, please.
Fic dedicated to all those in Iraq. Merry Christmas.
Written Friday, December 24, 2004 at 11:18 pm.