Author: Angie

Email: AngieSuth@aol.com

Title: Who's Fooling Whom?

Characters: Toby/CJ/general

Rating: PG and maybe more

Summary: He wasn't renowned for his sensitivity, but this time, God this time, he wasn't going to let her down.

Disclaimer: Not mine at all.

Spoilers: Assume through Season 4

Feedback: Always appreciated.

A/N: Follows on from "What Drives A Heart", but not a sequel in its truest sense as that was really written as a standalone. You just need to bear in mind what happened!

For Sarah who asked for it, was told that I didn't have time . . . so here is the first part. I am such a soft touch.

And Rhonda is my beta rock. Boy, are there times that I lean on her – even if she's not aware of it!

*

CJ leaned her head on her arms and let the desk take her weight. The only light in the room came from the slits in the partially opened blinds and she deliberately kept as still as she could. She didn't want any movement from within her office to catch the eyes of those outside it. They were heading to some bar or other – she wasn't sure where, she hadn't really been paying attention. Not like her. Well, not like how she was two weeks ago, before the strain of Zoey's kidnapping and subsequent events had thrown her off center.  It was all too similar to that time a year ago; that time when she, herself, had had a constant shadow. Only, her agent had been killed in a less sinister, though no less final manner. And now she wasn't herself . . . and nobody seemed to have noticed. And nobody seemed to care.

*

"Toby! I'm heading off. You coming with me?"  Josh paused at Toby's office door, bag slung over his shoulder.

"Are Will and CJ on their way too?" Toby didn't look up, but typed ferociously as he spoke.

"Will has to make a call. He'll meet us there. CJ left a while ago – I'm not sure if she's coming or not." Josh shrugged.

Toby hit save and closed his laptop. He grabbed his briefcase and switched off his desk lamp.  "Let's go, I could do with a drink." He stopped in the doorway. "Wait – I just need to check on something. I'll catch up with you."

Josh waved a hand over his shoulder and ambled out through the bull pen.

Once Toby was sure he was alone, he strode purposefully and silently towards CJ's office, slowing as he approached and leaning to peer through the blinds without being observed. He saw her silhouette – the outline of her head and shoulders slumped down on the desk. He frowned, watching silently, until he saw her lift her head and run her hands through her hair. Then, satisfied that she wasn't ill, he crept away and ran to catch up with Josh.

*

Carol knocked on CJ's door and went in on the abrupt 'yes'.

"Here's your salad. Can I get you anything else?"

"No thanks, Carol. Close the door behind you, would you?"

Carol slid the styrofoam carton onto her boss's desk with a small smile, then left the room, closing the door as requested. When she turned round, she saw Toby standing there watching her.

"Don't you eat lunch together on a Thursday?"

Carol shrugged. "Yeah, if we can. But we haven't done for a couple of weeks now. She seems . . . I don't know . . . It's nothing."  Carol sat down and started to eat her own lunch.

Toby stared at the closed door, then turned and walked back to his own office.

*

"That's all, thank you." Leo dismissed the senior staff. "Hang on – are any of you interested in poker tomorrow evening? I'll organize some food if we decide to go ahead." Leo raised his eyebrows and saw Josh smile and Will nod enthusiastically. Toby glanced at CJ.

"CJ?"

"Uh, sorry, Leo – you guys go ahead without me."

An awkward silence followed.

CJ looked down at her hands.

"Actually, Leo," Toby cut in, "tomorrow's not good for me either. Can we make it another night?"

"Sure." Leo gave his two staffers a measured look. "We'll try again in a couple of weeks. Thank you, everyone."

Toby was careful to walk a few feet behind CJ on the way back from staff. She hadn't spoken to him - or any of them as far as he could see – voluntarily for some time, and he didn't want to make stilted conversation with her. He had been wracking his brains trying to pinpoint the start of her withdrawal and thus any possible cause of it. Deep in thought, he wandered past Donna's desk.

"Hey, Toby – Josh needs to know who coined the phrase 'band of brothers'. Don't ask – some infantile thing he has going with Amy – I don't know why he even thinks that he's going to get the better of her. . ."

"It's Shakespeare." Will came up behind Toby, who was standing open mouthed. 'Henry V', to be precise; 'We few, we happy few, we band of brothers', so Josh might be on solid ground just this once."

"That's it!" Toby headed straight for his office and closed the door firmly behind him.

Will looked at Donna.

"You know that he knew that, don't you?" Donna smiled. "You know that Toby always knows things – he just lets you say it first sometimes."

Will sighed. "Sam told me it would be like that. You know – climbing to the summit, and finding him there already, just staring at you with that . . .that . . look in his eyes."

*

Toby sat at his desk, fingers splayed out on the wooden surface. Last year . . . that god-awful production of the 'Henrys' . . . the theater. Simon Donovan. A year ago exactly. He stood suddenly, pieces of the jigsaw slotting into place. The day that the twins had been born, the day of Zoey's kidnapping – CJ had watched him fall apart; she had kissed him and told him that her devotion . . . well he couldn't remember her exact words, he had been too overwrought. He had barely noticed the softness of her lips, only the comfort that they had brought him. Toby brought his hand up to his mouth, his fingers pressing gently against his lips in a faint facsimile of her gesture. It was Simon Donovan – it had to be. He sat back heavily in his chair. What to do? He didn't feel he could betray CJ by discussing his theory with anybody; he needed to come up with a way of making her feel better without alerting the rest of the staff. He wasn't renowned for his sensitivity, but this time, God this time, he wasn't going to let her down.

Fingers steepled and thumbs pressing against his forehead, Toby thought back to the time of CJ's stalker. He felt ashamed of how he had handled the whole incident; it had taken Donna to get the gravity of the situation realized, and then when the agent had materialized, he had virtually ignored her, refusing to discuss her fears or her irritation. CJ was, then and now, fiercely independent and he had thought that she would have preferred to be treated as if nothing had changed. So that is what he had done. Only . . . he should have talked to her, acknowledged the closeness of their relationship, understood that she talked to him in a way that she didn't talk to the others; her father and his illness, - even the Qumar fiasco that he had judged so badly. The whole lead up to that time last year was her talking to him, allowing him access to her in a way that she never had before. And he had blown it. Pretended nothing had happened, watched her withdraw that closeness, watched her let another man protect her and make her feel beautiful and worthy of protection. Her 'band of brothers' just wanted their CJ to get on with it; handle them and their problems, make them laugh as she always knew how to do. Her father was falling apart, a madman was threatening her life and her colleagues didn't appear to give a damn. Donovan had protected her, cared for her in a way that Josh and Leo and Sam and Toby, above all Toby, had never managed.

He closed his eyes and rubbed his hand over his head. It was a year since Donovan had been killed and she had cried. And now she was crying all over again. Toby knew he had to do something.

*

CJ looked at her watch. She had called a full lid over an hour ago and she could easily have left for home not long after that. She just didn't seem to be able to summon up the energy to go back to her apartment for yet more of her own sad company. And, of course, while she was still in the office, there was always the chance she might catch a glimpse of Toby . . . Toby . . .

"CJ."

The object of her thoughts was standing in her doorway, briefcase in hand.

"Come on, we're going."

"Going? Where? Toby . . . what makes you think I'm ready to leave?" CJ stood stiffly by her desk.

"I don't think you think you're ready to leave. I know that I have decided that you are ready to leave and if you don't come quietly, I will have to have a word with who's really in charge around here . . ." He gave her a gentle smile and held out her jacket. "And I've heard that Gail gets real mean when she's angry."

CJ smiled wanly and ducked her head in reluctant agreement. "Okay, but that's not gonna work next time, you know. Gail already has ideas above her station from being worshipped by the men of the West Wing."

"And to think she's not even half as popular as her owner." Toby stared at CJ, who looked at him suspiciously.

"Whoa – hold on there, Toby. Where's the cream pie that usually follows that one?"

"No cream pie in the face, CJ. No cream pie." Toby placed his hand on his heart and watched her jaw drop. "Though I'm not necessarily saying that whipped cream doesn't look good on you . . ."

He watched her walk in front of him and out of the room. This was easier than he thought. And he was really enjoying it.

*

As Toby's car drew up outside CJ's apartment, she sighed. "You know . . ."

"I'm picking you up tomorrow – so don't even think about it!" he cut in.

"If you'd let me take my car . . . You are? Toby, when have you ever picked me up without a fight? I usually have to use a crowbar to pry the offer of a lift to work out of you!"

"Yeah, well . . . just don't tell the others. And don't tell the others that I cooked you dinner either." Toby looked at her. "Close your mouth, CJ. Not even whipped cream could make that your most attractive look. Uh uh – not that you aren't attractive all the time." He backtracked quickly. Damn. He'd gotten over confident and nearly blown it.

CJ smiled, then laughed. Laughed for the first time for two weeks. "Toby – I do believe you are being nice to me. 'Nice' and 'Toby'. Not words that sit all that comfortably together in an average day. Well," she caught her bottom lip between her teeth, "it's quite charming in a strange kind of way, I suppose."

"Oh, be quiet, CJ. You're . . . you're  . . . just being you . . ." Toby looked at her again and took a deep breath. "Which is the highest compliment I could pay you. Now get out of the car and find your keys – I need to strike while the mood is upon me. I'm a devil in the kitchen, I'll have you know!" And he got out of the car and fetched his grocery bags from the trunk, leaving CJ, stunned into silence, to open the door to her apartment.

tbc