For Paula, who is absolutely amazing. Happy birthday! I hope you enjoy.
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He's there again, sitting at his friend's bedside. He's always there the night after the full moon, and you have a suspicion that he never leaves when you tell him to. Lupin is still sound asleep, but him? He looks like he's about to break into a thousand pieces.
You've never seen such a look of defeat on his beautiful features before, and you think it doesn't quite fit with his usual persona – a cheeky grin and starlight eyes. His eyes snap up to meet yours and he gives you a grin, but his eyes are full of sorrow and his grin is hollow. He looks like a man with a death sentence.
He glances down before making his way over to you. He doesn't ask you how his friend is, and he doesn't make a joke. He just stares at his friend's bed, wearing the grave look of defeat. It takes a long time before he speaks, and when he does, his voice cracks and scratches. "Have you ever done something that you regret?"
His words, as soft as they are, sink through your skin and stabs at your heart. You shake your head of brown hair. "No," you murmur softly. And you haven't. Regret is a foreign term to your ears but he, he speaks of regrets as if it was an old friend.
He doesn't speak for a long time. He just stares at the bed holding his friend. "Well, I have," he admits. "There are many things I've regretted. But nothing quite like this. I've never regretted anything this badly before," he says. His eyes move to meet yours. And the sadness and sorrow lurking behind the steely eyes hurts you.
He's such a confident, prideful person and to see him with this much regret just kills you. "It couldn't have been that bad," you assure him, giving him a small smile.
"You don't know how bad it could be," he says. He laughs humorlessly, emptily. His eyes flicker back to his friend. "I doubt they'll ever forgive me. That they could ever forgive me. Though, I don't blame them. I royally screwed up this time."
You furrow your eyebrows. Those boys have been thicker than thieves, so the thought that he would never earn their forgiveness is odd. "Time heals all wounds," you whisper softly.
"Not these," he replies. "Not this time. Nothing will heal this."
You forcefully turn him towards you, staring him deep in the eyes. "Now, listen here, Sirius Black. I've never seen you be so pessimistic. But you need to get yourself straight. Your friends will always forgive you, no matter what you've done." Your voice takes on a hard tone as you speak; it's the voice you use when you exercise your authority.
He sighs. His eyes flicker from you to the end of his line of view, not quite able to see his friend's bed. "I nearly put him in danger tonight," he mumbles. "He could've killed someone, and it would've been all my fault because I can't control my temper. Do you really think they could forgive me after that?" he questions bitterly.
Your gaze on him softens, and you pull him towards you. "They will forgive you, Sirius. It was a mistake, and I'm sure Mr. Lupin will realize that." He attempts to cut you off, but you continue on, "I'm not saying it's going to be right away or that they'll pretend nothing happened. But you will get your forgiveness."
A flicker of hope dances in his eyes and he smiles at you. "Thank you," he whispers gratefully.
You release him from your grips, hating the loss of contact with him, because when you touched him, sparks danced on your skin and your hair tingled. "Now go!" you order him. "If I'm not mistaken, he'll be waking up soon."
He gives you a grin and goes to take his previous seat. Even though it's well past curfew, you don't bother to kick him out because there's no one else in the Hospital Wing and he deserves some calm before the storm.
A/n – umm, it turned out to be more Poppy&Sirius friendship, but I really liked it. I hope you did too, love!