Derpy Hooves: (silently facing the camera, her eyes in different directions)
Pony Ratigan: (behind the camera) All right, Derpy, do the introduction.
Derpy: (saying nothing)
Pony Ratigan: Derpy, come on, you told DiscordantPrincess that you'd do this, remember? You don't want to let her down, now do you?
Derpy: (flies off)
Pony Ratigan: Derpy, where in blazes do you think you're going? We're not done here!
Derpy: (comes back holding a muffin, a cable wrapped around her leg. Stuff onset falls over, including the camera, which is now facing Pony Ratigan)
Pony Ratigan: (facehoof) Oh, for the love of Pete, Derpy...
Derpy: (offscreen) Oops, my bad!
Pony Ratigan: (groans) Anyway, here's a brand new story from the "Ratti in Ponyville" series. It is dedicated to Cellenia, who gave DiscordantPrincess the story idea, FairyTales And Pixie Dust, and ShiningShadow1965. Please read and enjoy. (looks at the mess) Oh, sweet Luna...
It was a sunny afternoon in the town of Ponyville. On the road to a little cottage fashioned out of a tree, two ponies: a white unicorn with a perfectly coiffed purple mane and tail, blue eyes and a cutie mark of diamonds, wearing a blue print sundress and a white straw hat with a blue ribbon, and a gray earth pony with a neatly-trimmed black mane and tail, gold eyes and a cutie mark of the pi symbol, wearing a white shirt with a light gray sweater vest, black pants and a pink and purple striped necktie, were trotting together.
"It certainly was nice of Fluttershy to invite us over to her house for tea," Padraic Ratigan, the earth pony, told his fillyfriend as they walked the path to the tree cottage together.
Rarity nodded. "Yes, it was. She said she had a special visitor today...somepony from Canterlot! Oh, I wonder who it could be? Perhaps Fancypants? Or maybe even one of the princesses?" She panicked. "Oh my word, I could be having tea with a princess! I don't look NEAR dressed enough for tea with a princess! I must go back and change!"
Ratigan held onto his fillyfriend. "Rarity, dearest, you look DIVINE. And I SINCERELY doubt that Fluttershy has invited a princess for tea...they'd be much too busy with their royal duties to take the afternoon off, I'm sure. Let's just go and enjoy ourselves, shall we?"
Rarity took a deep breath and nodded. "Thank you, Padraic. However do you put up with my silly little overdramatic moments?"
"Because I love everything about you, not just the good parts." Ratigan gave his fillyfriend a quick peck on the cheek. Just then, they reached the door. Rarity knocked. Within seconds, a yellow pegasus with a long pink mane and tail, blue-green eyes and a cutie mark of three pink-winged butterflies opened it. "Hello, you two, I'm so glad to see you both," she told them. "You both look so beautiful...I mean, handsome in your case, Padraic...oh, phooey, I'm so sorry. You're not mad at me for messing up, are you? Please don't be mad at me!"
"Calm down, Fluttershy dear, I'm not mad in the slightest," Ratigan assured her. "Thank you for inviting us over for tea."
"Thank you for accepting my invitation," Fluttershy responded quietly. "I'm so glad you could come. And so is my guest. He's anxious to see you both. Please, come in." The two ponies came into the house, and both gasped to see who their hostess' guest was. It was the strangest creature either of them had seen. He had the head and mane of a pony, the horn, beard and leg of a goat, a deer's antler, a long lean snakelike body and tail, a lion's paw and an eagle's claw for arms, a dragon's leg, and the wings of a bat and a pegasus. The creature smiled at them. "Good afternoon, you two."
"You mean to tell me that this...BEAST is your very special visitor from Canterlot?" Rarity asked the pegasus.
"Oh, yes, he is," Fluttershy replied. "I'm sorry, Rarity, I know you don't really like him, but you know that he's much nicer than he was before." She let out a tiny yelp. "Oh my, I haven't introduced him to you, Padraic."
Ratigan narrowed his eyes, his ears flat against his head. "There's no need, Fluttershy. I'm fully aware of who he is." He walked up to the draconequus. "DISCORD..."
Discord blinked at the fuming pony. "I'm sorry, have we met before?"
"Officially, no, but I saw you every day in the Canterlot sculpture garden as a statue," Ratigan replied. "Princess Celestia told me all about your power and your days as ruler of Equestria. And then when you escaped, you went off here to Ponyville, you brainwashed these two ladies and their friends, and you hurt my favorite student Twilight Sparkle by turning her friends against her and driving her to the brink of despair! And what's worse, I couldn't do anything to help her because you cast a spell that made it impossible for anypony other than Twilight and her friends to leave Canterlot! Not even the princesses could do anything!" He grabbed Discord by the beard and pulled his head so that the two were eye level. "And let me tell you, Mr. Discord, that Padraic James Ratigan does NOT take kindly to those who hurt any of his students, ESPECIALLY Twilight!"
"Relax, Papa Wolf, I'm one hundred percent reformed," Discord assured him. "I regret my days as the evil spirit of chaos and disharmony, and I have vowed never to do anything like that ever again."
Ratigan glared at the draconequus, but let go of his beard. "Very well, but I've got my eye on you." He walked back to be next to Rarity.
"So, Discord, how have you been?" Rarity asked the draconequus, a bit of resentment in her voice.
"Quite well, Rarity, thank you for asking," Discord responded. "I have been able to keep the chaos down since my reformation, but I am still in touch with my powers...especially my power to see the chaos in everypony's hearts."
SMASH! Ratigan dropped the teacup that he had been holding. He had a look of absolute horror on his face. "Oh no, Padraic, are you all right?" Fluttershy asked.
"You...you can see the chaos in somepony's heart?" Ratigan asked, shocked.
"Yep. You see, there's an aura around everypony's heart. It shows when somepony has had troubles in his life and what those troubles are. As part of my powers as the god of chaos, I can read these auras."
"Oh, that's fascinating," Fluttershy told him. "Isn't it fascinating, Rarity?"
"I suppose so. What do YOU think, Padraic dear?" No answer. "Padraic?" She looked at her coltfriend, who still had the horrified look on his face. "Sweetie, are you all right?"
Ratigan shook his head. "I'm sorry, I have to leave. I...have a slight stomachache." He got up and left the house.
"Oh, dear, I hope he's all right," Fluttershy spoke up with concern for her friend. Rarity just watched as her coltfriend hurried down the road away from the house.
Later that afternoon, Rarity went over to Ratigan's house. The door was locked, and the curtains of the windows were shut. She knocked on the door. "Padraic, darling, it's Rarity. I want to talk to you about what happened at Fluttershy's."
"Go away!" Ratigan's voice called from the other side of the door. "I can't talk to you right now!"
"Why not?" Rarity demanded.
"Um..." There was a brief pause. "...because I think I may have contracted the Sumaretran stomach flu!" He made a loud retching sound. "Oh dear, I just threw up all over my sofa! I'll have to clean that up after I'm done being so sick! I don't want to get you as ill as I am, so goodbye, my dear!"
Rarity furrowed her brow. "Padraic, I know when somepony is faking being sick, and you, sir, are most DEFINITELY faking!"
"Um, no, no I'm not. It's a real mess in here of...um, half-digested food and stomach acid all over the place."
"Padraic James Ratigan, you have three seconds to open this door or I shall break it down myself!" Rarity threatened. "One...two..."
The door opened. "Fine, fine, you got me. Come in."
"Thank you," Rarity replied, going into the house. "Now will you PLEASE tell me why you were acting so strangely at Fluttershy's?"
"It...it was that chaos aura mumbo-jumbo Discord was talking about," Ratigan explained. "Let's just say that before I became a professor I did some things that I'm not too particularly proud of and that it scared me that he could read it and I left before he could."
"Well, what did you do that you're not too particularly proud of?" Rarity asked
Ratigan looked down at the floor, brushing his hoof against the rug. "I REALLY don't want to."
"Please, darling, you can tell me ANYTHING," Rarity told him, almost pleading with him.
The earth pony sucked in his breath, then nodded. "All right, but you must SWEAR not to tell ANYPONY else, all right?"
"May Celestia strike me down if I do," Rarity responded.
Ratigan took another deep breath and began. "I was born in a small town outside of Canterlot, the only foal of two poor earth ponies. When I was five, our house burned down. I escaped with horrific burns and slight smoke asphyxiation. My parents weren't so lucky." He began to tear up. "I was taken into the Canterlot orphanage shortly after my parents' deaths. Because I was one of the few earth ponies in a city of unicorns, I was often teased by the other foals. Also, during my childhood, Canterlot was going through a horrible recession, so the orphanage didn't have much money. They could barely afford to feed us, and because I was a "hornless freak," as the other children so KINDLY called me, the other foals would steal my rations, so I was often hungry. The headmistress was very kind and tried to intervene, but nopony would listen to her. Frustrated and sick of being ridiculed, I turned my attention to my studies and found my passion for knowledge. I did remarkably well in all subjects, especially mathematics, and so I got my cutie mark remarkably early, even earlier than the foals who constantly teased me."
"That's amazing," Rarity commented.
Ratigan nodded. "It was. But a cutie mark doesn't make the pain of being bullied go away, nor does an appetite for knowledge make going to bed each night listening to the roaring of your empty belly any easier. So I got into a small gang with some of the other orphans. We would go around the city, committing little crimes here or there. Mostly small things, like stealing bread from the bakery or swiping some sweets from the candy store. Finally, I felt like I was being accepted by my peers. I thought things were looking up.
"Then, one day, we stupidly decided to take some apples from Princess Celestia's private orchard. The royal guards chased us down. My "friends" all abandoned me after I tripped on a root and got caught. The guards dragged me straight to Princess Celestia herself. I was petrified. I thought for sure that she'd lock me in the dungeon, or banish me to the moon, or even turn me to stone! But the princess was very kind. She could see that beyond my criminal exterior, I was a sad orphaned colt who needed help. So she took me in as a personal student, giving me a home in the palace, away from the orphanage and those brutes who tormented me. I flourished with Her Highness' teachings, graduating at an early age, and she offered me a position as a mathematics professor at Canterlot University. It was wonderful. And then she asked me to be Twilight's mathematics tutor, and that was even better. My life was wonderful, and it was all thanks to Princess Celestia. Had she not helped me, I shudder to think what my life could have become."
Ratigan sighed. "And now you know the Padraic Ratigan story. I was afraid that Discord would read it in my heart and tell it to you, so I figured you should hear it from me. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner, but it's not a story that I'm fond of remembering. I hope you can forgive me, but I don't expect you to." He squeezed his eyes shut, expecting Rarity to scream at him, to demand why he didn't trust her enough to tell her before now, to declare that she never wanted to see him again, maybe even to slap him a few times.
He wasn't expecting her to draw him close to her in a tight, bone-crushing hug. But she did. Ratigan looked at her. "I...I don't understand. I thought you'd be FURIOUS at me for everything I've done."
"Padraic, my darling, I could NEVER be furious at you," Rarity told him gently. "Yes, I am a bit disappointed that you didn't tell me your story sooner, but I certainly don't blame you for not wanting to share it...it sounded HORRIFYING!"
"You think it SOUNDED horrifying? Try LIVING it," Ratigan responded dryly, making them both laugh. "But, my crimes, everything I've done..."
"Is all in the past," Rarity interrupted him. "We cannot change what we've done in the past. All we can do is live in the present and work for a good future."
"But how can you still want me, after knowing about my life of crime?" Ratigan asked. "After all these years, I can barely forgive myself!"
Rarity smiled and nuzzled her head against her coltfriend's neck. "Because I love everything about you." She looked into his eyes, sapphire meeting gold. "Not just the good parts." They leaned into one another, kissing.
"Now, how about you and I go to my place and we pig out on white chocolate-covered strawberries?" Rarity suggested.
Ratigan smiled. "You certainly know how to cheer me up." With that, the two left the house and walked together down the street, knowing that nothing, not even a terrible past, could come between them.
Hey, guys! Sorry I wasn't part of the intro, I thought it'd be fun to let the ponies do it themselves. (looks at set damage) Boy was I wrong.
Derpy: (with a mouthful of muffin) I just don't know what went wrong!
(I glare at Pony Ratigan)
Pony Ratigan: Hey, don't look at ME, I said to ask Doctor Whooves!
OK, back to our regularly scheduled Author's Notes:
Awww, poor Ratigan! I don't know which is sadder; this backstory, or the backstory I give him in my GMD fics. Why do I turn my favorite villains into such Woobies when I write their pasts? But yays for loving everything about your significant other!
Yeah, Ratti's a bit of a Papa Wolf with Twilight (for those of you who don't read TV Tropes, a Papa Wolf is a guy who's highly protective of his children and/or other loved ones, and should you mess with said children/loved ones you are in BIG trouble)...I know in the fic "Twilight's Professor" I had Twi have a crush on him, but from Ratti's POV he loves her in a beloved student/surrogate daughter way.
I was originally going to have Ratigan pummel the snot out of Discord for what he did to Twilight and the others and have to have Rarity and Fluttershy restrain him, but I thought that would be too violent...plus Discord is essentially a god, and while Ratti is a tough cookie being able to beat up a god would reach Gary Stu levels. What do you guys think?
Thank you for reading! Please R&R!
Derpy: What's R&R? Is it a kind of muffin?
Pony Ratigan: Are muffins the ONLY thing you ever think about?
Derpy: No, silly...I think about bagels, too!
Pony Ratigan: (rubbing his head) Oh my word, I think I'm getting a migraine.
OK, better sign off and find the pony Advil stat.
All my best, DiscordantPrincess.