Just a oneshot I wrote between Sirius and Narcissa after he is taken to jail. I just wanted to show the bond between these two members of the Black family. As always any reviews or feedback is greatly appreciated.
A moment in time
Narcissa was reading the parchment, again, for what seemed like the hundredth time. James and Lily, dead and Sirius...Sirius was accused of betraying them, of turning them over to Voldemort.
A part of her wanted to burn the parchment, ignore the situation her cousin had gotten in. In much the same way as her cousin had ignored her for the better part of their life. She could still remember that day, when she knew she had lost him forever. He had announced to the family that he had had enough; that he was leaving and she had ran after him.
"Please don't leave", she begged, hating herself for the desperation in her voice. Hated herself for even asking. A voice in her mind that sounded remarkably like her mother was ordering her to walk away, to stop crying. A black does not cry, does not show weakness. Yet she could feel the tears in her eyes.
"I have to, I hate this family,"he declared, pushing himself away from her. Then he turned back, "You could come with me, you don't have to stay here either".
She hesitated, and thought of how broken her family already was since Andromeda had left, how unhinged Bellatrix was becoming and how distant and alone Regulus was.
"I can't leave, Sirius, yes things might be a mess, but they are our family."
And suddenly Sirius was sneering at her, "No, they're your family."
And with that he left.
Narcissa had seen him once after that; she was shopping for baby supplies before Draco was born. They had both chosen their sides by that point.
"Giving him a nice pureblooded heir I see," Sirius had commented, contempt lacing his voice.
"So what if I am Sirius?" She had retorted, trying desperately not to sound like the angry teenager that Sirius made her feel like.
"I just thought you might have done something different, not done what mummy and daddy wanted and marry the first pureblood that asks."
Anger had filled her then, "Actually Rabastan Lestrange asked first Sirius, I married Lucius because I love him. Not that you would understand that. How many girls are you dating at the moment?"
He had recoiled at that comment. "I'm not dating anyone right now, I'm too busy fighting a war...against people like your husband."
They had both walked away then, neither of them having said what they wanted to. They could be our last words to each other, Narcissa considered, words of hatred and anger.
She swallowed back tears and grabbed a fresh roll of parchment. By the end of the night several letters had been written to high up ministry officials, threatening, coercing or bribing them into at least allowing Sirius a trial. A final letter had been sent, to an address Narcissa had had to dig through various drawers to find, informing her sister, Andromeda of their cousin's alleged crime.
"What are you doing Narcissa?" Lucius had hissed when he found out, "We're under enough scrutiny at the moment without you sticking our necks out for that blood traitor."
"That blood traitor is my cousin and he is innocent Lucius, which is more that I could say about you."
The responses Narcissa had got were all the same, short, informal and to the point, all had refused to help. In such times a trial seemed to be a luxury and one Sirius could not afford. Narcissa blamed Bellatrix. Her public admission of loyalty to the dark lord during her own trial was still all too fresh in people's mind for them to give Sirius the same allowance. Bella would have been thrilled to learn of how her actions had not only sealed her fate, but Sirius' as well.
Finally it took a short, desperate letter to Amelia Bones for Narcissa to even arrange a meeting with Sirius.
They both sat at opposite ends of a long, dark table, both of them facing each other, Sirius' dark eyes no longer full of life, but rather dull and empty.
"I'm sorry," Narcissa had finally admitted, "Sorry you're here, sorry I couldn't get you a trial and sorry it took you going to azkaban before I came to see you."
"S'allright Cissa," his voice quieter than she remembered.
She snapped then, "No it isn't, we both know you don't belong here, you didn't do this. Out of everyone in this family, you were the one who wasn't a death eater. The one who stood up and fought Him."
"I know I'm innocent and...And they can't take that away. It's the one thing I have left."
"You have me. Know that and don't forget it."
"What happened to Harry?" Sirius asked.
Narcissa couldn't help but feel a twinge of annoyance. Of course he asks about James' son. I wonder if he even knows Draco's name. "As far as I know he's staying with relatives, but I don't know the details."
Sirius just stared at her, "What relatives? James doesn't have any family left?"
"I don't know! It must have been Lily's family. You'll forgive me if I've had other things on my mind." Narcissa took a breath then, even now Sirius could still get under her skin as if they were still twelve years old.
"How could Dumbledore let him be raised by muggles?" Sirius muttered as if to himself. Narcissa shivered, barely a month in Azkaban and Sirius already seemed unhinged. But then again, Narcissa mused, he never has been all there in the head.
"It's probably better for Harry, growing up around wizards he would either be in constant danger or perpetually pampered. I can't imagine that would be good for him."
"Cissa, when did you become so maternal?" Sirius taunted.
"When I had a son of my own Sirius," she snapped, but when she looked up she saw a mocking smile that belonged to the boy she once knew. "His name is Draco, since you never asked."
"I hope he grows up to be like you."
"I just hope he doesn't turn into his father." Narcissa had not meant to say that, had not meant to admit that there could be something wrong with her perfect pureblood life. But it was true, and they both knew it.
"Do you ever wonder what would have happened if you had left with me?" Sirius asked.
"Sometimes, mostly I just think about how things would have been different if you and Andromeda had stayed.
"Please, you'd still have married some pureblooded prat and Bella would still have ran off to follow Voldemort. The only difference would be that Andromeda and I would have been as miserable as you."
"Or you and Andromeda might have ended up being happy with us. Bella might not have ended up in Azkaban. Regulus might still be alive." Narcissa held the image in her head for a moment, of a happy and whole Black family; smiling bitterly at the reality. "But we'll never know will we."
A sharp knock on the door reminded Narcissa that she only had a limited with her cousin. Before she could move Sirius had grabbed her hand.
"I'm not sorry I left Cissa but…but I am sorry I couldn't stay. And I'm sorry I couldn't help Regulus."
As she started to leave Narcissa turned round to say one more thing to her cousin. Something she had wished she had said all those years ago in the garden as he left. What she wished she had said to her sister before she too had run off. The one thing that might have made a difference. "I love you Sirius."
And leaving the stormy island of Azkaban with a sister and cousin that she was unable to help, Narcissa faced the rain and the wind and thought: at least they know I love them.