Karma sighed in relief as she settled in the tub. It was pure bliss as she'd put it to be in the big tub and soaking in the perfectly hot bubble bath. It seemed cliched she guessed that there were candles lit and the light dimmed as she enjoyed her soak, but she didn't care. The week was stressful and tension-filled as her family was relentless in their pursuit.
They had asked for a chance to be back in her life, but she was unsure and asked for awhile away. They had hurriedly said yes and probably didn't understand at the time, but they had called constantly and kept asking if she'd come home yet. It only fueled more reason to stay away as she wasn't getting the time she asked for. This last week had gotten worse as her birthday was around the corner not that she expected less. Just time. They'd yet to give it.
It had only been six months since she had been rescued and told them she needed time, in the meantime she'd stay with her rescuer and current girlfriend Kaitlynn. They were not wanting to push it said sure but from her point of view had never meant it. She had given up and would hang up when the question was asked. Kaitlynn hadn't said anything about it either but was becoming frustrated as well from the constant calls. Perhaps it was exaggerated but it felt constant.
Karma sighed in relief but sat up leaning against the side of the tub when she heard the familiar sound of a door open and sigh. She smiled. She saw a pair of sweats walk by worn by the beauty her heart throbbed for and she felt content listening to the sounds. The sounds of the fridge opening and the light hum of a song as she made way back down the hall.
"Kaitlynn?" She received a hmm as the woman stopped at the doorway. "Could you come here?"
"Yea let me throw a shirt on." Karma chuckled. She gave a slightly confused look.
"I've seen you naked. Which was just last night. Just come in here." Kaitlynn stopped for a moment but in the end did as she asked and walked into the bathroom with a twizzler in her mouth and stood there in just a bra and sweats. "Ooh! Strawberry?" Kaitlynn nodded and bent over letting Karma take half of it from her mouth and steal a small kiss. "Yummy!" She smiled.
Kaitlynn stood there for a moment wondering why she was called but just sat on the flat surface of the tub and watched her girlfriend curiously. She was glowing.
"What did you need?" She asked softly. Karma looked guilty.
"Just your company..." Kaitlynn understood and suddenly felt more than happy to stay and keep her company. "I've been surrounded by people long enough and only felt alone- I like your company. I feel..here and needed you know?"
"Because you are." Karma smiled at her honesty and leaned forward kissing her leg before sitting back.
Karma had been found weird, but Kaitlynn liked it. That weirdness people would complain about was what Kaitlynn was drawn too. From Karma's outgoing yet lone personality to her ability to freak out over the TV show, they watched even to how she'd prefer to have coffee rather than tea like she did in the mornings. Kaitlynn was drawn to it all and though she couldn't explain why she didn't care.
"So..." Karma broke the small silence. Kaitlynn looked at her as her eyes wandered her body. "Can I ask about your ink?" She nodded. Karma sat up and scooted to her end of the tub where she brought a wet hand up to her and traced a tattoo. A python. Protruding from her sweats. "What about this?" She looked up to her.
"It's a symbol of my family, well not Spencer." She was confused. "Uhm...i met these guys when I was younger who saved me. They were mercs and I was initiated into their family so I got that tattooed onto me like they did." She sighed. "It's a python their group name- er well it's a more complicated word in another language, but it means python."
"What about this?" She asked grazing over the spider on her stomach. Her touch lingered..
"It's a widow. Something..to honor my father." She felt herself lean into the touch.
"...this?" She asked touching the tattoo of the numbers 02 on her shoulder. Kaitlynn shook her head indicating she didn't want to talk about it. Karma nodded. "What about the barcode on the back of your neck?"
Kaitlynn hesitated "I- it's.. A bad memory." Was all she said. Karma didn't need to know more and was content with the answer she was giving. Kaitlynn felt bad. "I'm-"
"Really honey no need." She smiled. "There's always going to be something we can't tell even the people we love. So it's okay I understand." Kaitlynn was amazed at the understanding and nodded. "Sides I got you so I'm pretty happy." She couldn't help but smile at that.
"So what about yours?" Karma rose an eyebrow.
"No Romeo no Juliet," she begun motioning to the phrase on her shoulder "is something I did when I was dumb. It's a reminder that Romeo and Juliet were not the best romance ever. One I don't want to repeat." Kaitlynn nodded. "The cross on my thumb is a reminder of the faith I came from and the fancy lettering On my back, DEATH is a reminder of where it all ends." That was...not what Kaitlynn imagined.
Kaitlynn remembered seeing the words across her back the day Karma had come home with her and she had trouble taking off her shirt due to injuries so she had to help her, but she hadn't expected the reason being that. It made the older woman curious about what made her get it, but she didn't ask. She never asked stuff like that because it was personal, perhaps too personal. Kaitlynn never felt sure of herself and uncomfortable when she asked questions like that, but Karma had never minded when she did. It was odd she guessed considering her former jobs, but she never liked it then either. It could have been from her training of "Don't ask too many questions or you'll get hurt. Severely hurt." Though she knew there was no real danger of that it was just the thought that might have scared her.
"I-" Kaitlynn begun. But she stopped.
"Let's just say when you're my father's secret imaginary daughter of disgrace you hear more than your fair share of things that make you realize death is where we all end up and the holes in the ground are our destiny." She explained knowing that look well of 'I want to ask, but I can't ask..can I?'.
She could remember the distinct sound of men arguing in front of her door one of which had been her tutor and friend. But they argued with her father and his 'friend'. She opened her door to interupt as her siblings normally would to stop anything drastic but when she did the second man pulled a gun on her tutor Matt. In the end she stood there wide eyed with blood staining her close and face she quickly begun to cry in shock and just as the man pointed the gun at her her father interviened and was shot himself but lived after several weeks in the hospital. It hadn't even been over much! Just a case of wine that had gone missing. Why would you kill a man for wine?
Her young mind had made up it's mind that death was where they were all going regardless of how they got there. But THAT was not just it. She had heard things and seen things she wished she hadn't. Do not mistake this though while that's where it ended she believed more than anyone that life was full of things to live and experience and that while death was an end people could be taken much too easily. Like her eldest brother who was killed shortly before he graduated college with a masters physics. He was killed not by the bullet that he took for her but for the beating after that he took after sheilding her. It was harsh and bloody and surely would have killed her instead.
Kaitlynn could only watch Karma as she could tell a painful memory played out in front of her and dimmed her brightness. It took a lot to normally do that so she classed the memory as bad or rather dangerous. Her heart ached for her so she got up from her spot and sat in front of the tub turning to face Karma whom had been staring at the hands on her legs with a sad look. It was sad to see in her opinion.
Kaitlynn herself had seen more than enough of terrors and death to understand just from the look. She had not only seen friends die and be tortured but she herself had seen her life being drained from her with every scar and syringe that they had used on her. 0-00 or T.R. As his real initials were was one of those. She had witnessed him beg for death just with his eyes let alone his voice. She had seen man in the worst state of all including herself ranging from deep depression, anger, and just sadness. So she did what she thought she had too and placed a hand on the younger womans knee which caused her to glance up.
Karma might have choked at the look in her eyes that told her to the deepest core "I understand what you're talking about". It was scary among other things. The look had however turned into something she had seen Kaitlynn give her before but could never place her finger on what it was or what she was thinking exactly. This look had somehow melted that sadness away for a moment and she could see Kaitlynn. Kaitlynn slowly brought her hand up to Karma's neck and pulled her into her and leaned forward nearly closing her eyes and stopping just before their lips touched as if asking for permission. Karma understood and leaned forward closing the distance with a deep and passionate kiss. She could feel Kaitlynn's bare heart in it and she understood why Kaitlynn had always been so patient and slow with her. The kiss had lasted much longer than either expected as it usually did and Kaitlynn never once tried to gain control of the kiss as she was happy just to let Karma guide her every movement of the way.
Once Karma tried to straighten herself up she accidentally knocked over a candle and cursed herself for ruining the moment but Kaitlynn had chased after it before it could do any damage and just put it out as Karma leaned against the tub. Kaitlynn herself laid her head against the tub letting it hang into it from the side as her back was to the tub and she sat her legs up to lay her arms against them. Karma settled against her and watched her as a silence sat in. A peaceful quiet. Karma felt Kaitlynn had tried to tell her through the kiss how she felt because she couldn't say that damned word..like she normally had tried to say. It was obvious through actions how they felt but never could find the strength to say it. Perhaps they needed to help each other.
"Kait?" Kaitlynn turned her head to her partner and brunette bangs fell into her face making Karma smile and moving them. "Can I ask you a question?" Kaitlynn nodded. "What does your heart say?" She was confused. "I mean- what does it say about us? Don't worry about saying that word because I get why you haven't said it. I just...feel like it needs to tell me SOMETHING." she was right.
"It," Kaitlynn began after a silence of thinking. "tells me how lucky I am to have you. How unbelievably lucky I am. How- much I care for you. How I want to give you every bit of me and never stop because I know you'd never harm me. It tells me that I can't live without you and that I have become much more with you." Her cheeks grew a slight red. "It tells me that you are the moon to my sun because- my earth is scorched by the moon cascades it in a beautiful light that can only show you the beauty of that. It tells me that I don't want anything but you anymore that- I NEVER want the kisses or holds or hugs to stop. That I can feel in myself you. I am lucky and I don't know why I have you but I don't plan on letting go. I just hope I deserve you."
Karma couldn't find an appropriate response so she laughed nervously and wiped away the tears in her eyes. "I don't know if you'd call yourself lucky."
"But I am." Kaitlynn sat up as Karma stared at her. "I am lucky to have this kind, caring, warm, affectionate...goddess in my presence soothing me and waking up next to me every day." Kaitlynn stood up and held out her hand to Karma whom took it and stood up. Kaitlynn looked her up and down taking in the full sight in a loving way. "I don't see anything here not even flaws that aren't perfect."
Karma stepped out of the tub and looked at her. "Then show me." She asked. Kaitlynn kissed her softly
"I don't know how."
"Love me." Though it came out more...suggestive than she meant Kaitlynn smiled and told herself she already did. "Love me until I can't breathe." She dared. Kaitlynn took in a deep breath and led her down the hall after draining the tub. If that's what she wanted Kaitlynn would be the one daring enough to give her just that. Not in such a way as she asked but she had hoped it'd be enough.