Why dobby really came to visit Harry at the Dursley's
(Dobby wants to "bless the resting place of the great Harry potter" and ends up covering most of his possessions with "curious white stuff."
Slowly Harry crept upstairs and sank onto his bed, he rolled over, and leapt off the bed in disgust. He had put his face in a sticky white stain that covered most of his pillow. "WTF???" he yelled. Slowly Dobby the house elf crawled out from under his desk. "Is something wrong Harry Potter?" Harry's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Dobby, have you been using my bed for something?" Dobby nodded furiously. "Whenever I come to visit you sir, the first thing I do is bless the resting place of the great Harry Potter!" He squeaked.
Slowly Harry revolved on the spot, looking round his bedroom for the first time. "Dobby I think you've "blessed" most of the stuff in here!!!" Harry complained looking at his lamp, desk, wardrobes, posters…and Hedwig. "Eeeeww!!! Dobby you got Hedwig!" Harry walked over for a closer look at his poor sticky owl. "Right in the eye too! Filthy house elf scum!!! Why couldn't you have just used a condom like the rest of us?" He asked disdainfully. Dobby eyes went large as saucers. "Because only Master Malfoy can give Dobby condoms!", He explained, "Condoms set house elves free!"
"I'll set you free you, you creepy little bugger!" growled Harry, and proceeded to hurl Dobby through his open window. As he watched Dobby extricate himself from Aunt Petunia's shrubs and limp away he fervently wished that Dobby would be unable to "bless" anything for a week.