"Not good-bye forever," Simon protested. He was watching her closely, his eyes searching her, as if unsure about his last statement. She frowned slightly.
"Come here," Isabelle said, tugging his sleeve with a gloved hand. She nodded towards a sheltered alcove nearby, though Simon, seeming lost in thought, failed to notice.
"Come where?" he said.
Isabelle rolled her eyes almost reflexively and stepped into the alcove, pulling him after her. He stepped inside, leaning slightly against the Institute wall. She moved to stand opposite him as he started speaking.
"I wish I were coming with you to Idris," he said openly.
She found herself agreeing, privately, but it was a selfish agreement, one she didn't put into words. It was unreasonable to expect him to put himself in danger, come traveling halfway across the world, just for her.
"You're safer here," she said, trying to sound reassuring. "Besides, we're not going forever. The only Downworlders that can go to Alicante are Council members because they're going to have a meeting, figure out what we're all going to do, and probably send us back out. We can't hide inside Idris while Sebastian rampages around outside it. Shadowhunters don't do that."
He touched her face lightly. "But you want me to hide here?"
"You've got Jordan to watch you here," Isabelle said. "Your own personal bodyguard." She wondered which of them she was trying to comfort more. Though she knew Jordan was fully qualified, and Simon's friend, and good at his job, she couldn't quite shake the image of him sitting at home all day, drinking tequila and playing Halo. Not very bodyguard-ly. "You're Clary's best friend," she added. "Sebastian knows that. You're hostage material. You should be where he isn't."
Simon shrugged. "He's never shown any interest in me before. I don't see why he'd start now."
She had been thinking of that herself. Sebastian was not one for late changes of mind, though he was unpredictable, and this was one risk she was unwilling to take. "He's never shown any interest in anyone but Clary and Jace, but that doesn't mean he won't start. He's not stupid." She hated admitting even that. The idea of an enemy she could outwit, an enemy she could predict, was as comforting as the idea of an enemy she could slice to pieces with her whip, and the fact that she could seemingly do neither to Sebastian was a frustrating one. "Clary would do anything for you," she said, getting back on topic.
"She'd do anything for you, too, Izzy," Simon said insistently. She must have looked doubtful, and there was clearly something else on his mind, for he cupped her cheek lightly, his eyes finding hers. "Okay, so if you won't be gone that long, what's all this about, then?"
Damn. He was good. He was observing her questioningly, and perhaps a little nervously. She was vaguely aware, somewhere behind her, of her mother watching her, but gave them little thought. Simon wasn't the first guy she'd dated they'd disapproved of and he wasn't going to be the la- or would he be? She didn't know anymore. Even now, with their arrival in Idris imminent, and the Institutes destroyed, and Sebastian potentially anywhere, she was thinking now only of holding him, kissing him, reassuring him- but she held back. It wasn't why they were here. "I heard Clary when she was saying goodbye to you," she said. "She said she loved you."
Simon looked surprised. "Yes, but she didn't mean it that way- Izzy-"
"I know that," Isabelle protested. "Please, I know that. But it's just that she says it so easily, and you say it back so easily, and I've never said it to anyone. Not anyone who wasn't related to me."
He looked at her knowingly. "But if you say it," he said, "you could get hurt. That's why you don't."
She knew what he was remembering. She hadn't intended to say so much, when they had spoken at the Sanctuary a month or two ago. She hadn't realized she was prepared to. She remembered, too, telling him perhaps things were different now between them, that perhaps he would break her heart. It didn't matter now, she thought, how much she had told him, didn't matter how much remained unsaid. If he told her now, flat-out, that he wasn't interested, then that would be it: her heart would be broken already.
"So could you," she said. "Get hurt. I could hurt you."
Simon shook his head slightly. "I know," he said quietly. "I know and I don't care. Jace told me once you'd walk all over my heart in high-heeled boots, and it hasn't stopped me."
Isabelle couldn't help herself; she laughed slightly, remembering hearing this before- she had lain beside Simon in Magnus' spare bed, and he had mentioned it, no more than a throwaway comment, and she had thought about it briefly, wondering if he believed Jace, or if he had changed enough to know differently. "He said that? And you stuck around?"
He took a step forward- there wasn't much space in their alcove, and now he stood almost up against her. She would have been able to hear him breathing if he had lived, may even have heard his heart beating. Surely he could hear hers, thundering inside her ribcage; he might even have seen her pendant bouncing against her chest.
"I would consider it an honour," he said.
She moved forward, closing what little space remained between them. She felt her lips brush his lightly, for a moment, but she forced down what she was feeling and reached for the fastenings on her cloak. She saw his brows shoot up in surprise, but he was still looking into her eyes, and didn't notice as she drew off her ruby necklace and reached to put it around his neck.
"Take this," she whispered. His eyes travelled down, seeing the scarlet pendant against his chest, and his eyes widened.
"I can't take this," he protested. He touched the crimson stone with a finger lightly. "Iz, this must be worth a fortune."
She shook her head. "It's a loan, not a gift. Keep it until I see you again." She reached out to touch the ruby delicately. "There's an old story it came into our family by way of a vampire. So it's fitting."
Simon looked at her, a faint spark of longing in his eyes. "Isabelle," he started, "I-"
She cut him off. "Don't," Isabelle said, holding up a gloved hand. She stepped back, out of the alcove, back into the cold reality of the real world. "Don't say it, not now." She couldn't be sure of what she had been stopping him from saying, but she had heard his tone of voice, and whatever it was, she wanted to hear it when she got back, when they were together properly, not when this vast unknown time was motivating him to speak. "Just don't- don't date anyone else while I'm gone, okay?"
She turned her back on him, looking over at her family crowded around the Portal, and Alec, walking towards them. She thought she saw him arch an eyebrow as he strode over to the others, but he didn't say anything. As she dashed towards him and the Portal, she heard Simon call out, "does that mean we're dating?"
She didn't reply. She didn't know exactly what to say. She took her brother's hand, and the two of them stepped through the Portal and into oblivion.