Some Secrets, Part 1
Sometimes, it is best not to question. Best not to pry into things that can't be erased.
"Veena…" He tried to speak, but the words stuck in his throat.
So many words... So many things he wanted to say, but couldn't.
They stood on either side of the hard wooden desk, avoiding each other's gazes. Kazuma was glad for the obstacle between them. He didn't know what he'd do if it wasn't there.
Something embarrassing maybe. Like hug her.
"You're nervous kazuma…" The woman sighed, "You know I can feel it."
His fingers started to tremble. Yes. Yes, God damn it; he was so nervous. Spot on Bishamon, he thought.
But he didn't say anything.
"Do you know why you're here?" She asked, and her voice was like silk. No, like a flute, or maybe a bird's song on a summer morn, or maybe… it is beauty. She is beauty.
"No, Veena." He replied swiftly.
"But yet you're nervous."
"Only out of concern for you," and it was the truth… almost.
The god took one step up to the desk and picked up a book. The book's cover was leather bound and strong, yet it was already weathered out of good use. Her fingers ran over it, and flicked open the pages. Kazuma held his breath; he knew what she was about to say. She paused at the last entry, and opened her mouth to speak,
"There was a love confession in the book kazuma."
"Yes?" He queried.
"For me." Bishamon looked up, and for the first time, their eyes met. Violet clashed with green, and the world seemed to implode upon them. But silently... It was so desperately still.
"Have you considered asking the other regalia? They may know who wrote it." He broke the quiet.
"I'm asking them now." Bishamon replied. Kazuma felt his heart stop, then begin to beat wildly.
"I-I'm not sure who… It would be better to ask someone else…"
Bishamon pulled a chair out and took a seat, motioning with her hand for kazuma to sit down too. He slipped into an armchair and Bishamon looked up sharply as she said,
"Now that you know why you are here, kazuma, why is your heart still beating so fast?"
No. There was no way she didn't know. It was so obvious. So painfully obvious! Why had he ever thought, for one single second, that this would be a good idea?
So many regrets. The guilty pen sat nestled in his pocket.
Bishamon leaned forward, elbows resting on the desk.
"Would it be because…?" She paused. "You're lying… to me?"
He was a liar. A fool.
"You can tell me the truth… kazuma." She whispered.
He squeezed his eyes shut, blocking out the room. He couldn't do this; it was too risky, too dangerous. The figure before him was no human, she was a god. She was too powerful, all knowing, did she ever even feel… love?
He took a deep breath, and cleared his head. He could do this.
"I assure you, lady Bishamon, that I would never hide a secret from you."
He opened his eyes. Bishamon was looking at the walls, a faint tint to her cheeks,
"Never mind, kazuma. You may leave now." Was all she said, and kazuma gratefully stood up to leave the room. He was one step out the door when she spoke again.
"Some secrets are best left hidden."
Some Secrets, Part 2
"Some secrets are best left hidden." She whispered as kazuma left the room. She hadn't meant for him to hear it, but it was obvious he had. He was paused in the doorway, ears pricked back, and standing so very still. Then he walked away, and the door clicked shut behind him. She hadn't meant for him to hear...
She pulled out the book on the desk and re-read the passage. The handwriting was not kazuma's. She knew that… but… she had thought maybe… No, she was just deluded. She was thinking what she wanted to think. The sweet words raced through her mind.
I've thought long and hard about putting a message in the book, for one reason only: I have... feelings for you. I'd write a sappy poem, or send you roses, but I don't believe such trivials would get through to you. Words mean more, even if you deserve every gift money could buy, words always mean more.
And I don't want this to be a problem for you. I've just waited so long, to say. I've always loved you.
It was short, and the words were not the most romantic, but it struck a chord deep in her heart. She had believed so strongly that it was him… That he had written those few sentences for her. But… now, she just didn't know. Kazuma wouldn't lie to her, would he?
Maybe… it was best just to let this rest. Maybe some secrets should be kept hidden away. That had been her belief for a long time.
...
The cherry blossoms were floating down, covering her garden in a thin layer of pink snow. They settled on the grass, the rocks, the benches, and fell softly onto the crystal water of the lake. She rested her head back across the bank, and let the water cascade over her.
"Kazuma!" She'd said. "The report for the week,"
The doors leading into the house slid open, and her regalia stepped out into the bright sunlight. She watched closely as he walked around the edge of the pool, carefully averting his gaze.
"Yes Veena," He spoke quietly, not wishing to disturb the peaceful atmosphere. "There has been little activity from phantoms this week, the area is mostly clear. I would advise you finish off any remaining sometime in the next few days, or else they could get out of hand."
"Thank you, kazuma."
"Anything, Veena." He paused for a second, "There have also been some disturbances amongst the other regalia, my lady. There's talk of… some greater phantom. It's scaring them, although, I'm sure you have felt it…"
Bishamon paused to mull over this. She had been feeling bursts of emotions and negative thoughts from her regalia, although she had passed it off as nothing but the usual. She thought carefully before speaking her next words,
"What do you think, kazuma?"
"I think… that it's superstitious nonsense..." He stood silently for a second, "...and that the blossoms are especially beautiful this year."
The bright sunlight was reflecting off his glasses, so his expression was hidden. She suddenly noticed how striking he looked against the brilliant sky. She beheld his face, so serious in his current state, and abruptly wondered what it would be like to… kiss him.
"You may leave now." She said, in a hushed tone.
...
That had been twenty years ago now: to the very day. Yes, she had counted. And now kazuma was walking away from her again, just like he had on that morning twenty years ago. Was it so hard to let go of a secret? Was it so hard…
For the first time in over two decades, Bishamon felt tears pooling in the corners of her eyes. They were gathering, threatening to spill. She chided herself: she must be strong! For the sake of her regalia and the people that prayed to her! She couldn't break down now, not after all this time.
She lay down on the sofa, and stared up at the ceiling. If it wasn't… him. Then who put that note in the book? She didn't want to know, she didn't want to care, or deal with it.
She didn't want to love.
Some god she was… Bishamon let the silver drops roll down her cheeks.
Then she got up, wiped the tears away and put her armour on. There was no point in crying, she reminded herself, not when there are phantoms to fight, and people to protect. She grimaced as she locked her heart away again. Another day.
Some Secrets, Part 3
Yato smirked at her from across the table, elbows resting on the hard plastic. How did they end up here? Who knows…
The greasy cafe was noisy, and the five, kind of friends, sat in a booth, slightly squashed, since it was only small. Bishamon glanced over to kazuma, wondering what his thoughts were. When she'd accepted this request for a meal with Hiyori and that young regalia, Yukine, she hadn't expected… this.
And she definitely wasn't counting on the Yato god tagging along.
"Hey Bisha," He smirked. Great, her temper was already rising. The phantoms she'd eliminated this morning were going to be a walk in the park compared to this.
"Yato…" She growled, but kazuma sent her a warning glance.
"Hey! What's with the angry tone of voice Bisha, just wanted to say hello!" Bishamon moved to stand up, whist Hiyori hissed at Yato under her breath. But at that moment, the waiter came, and they were forced to order.
The silence was awkward to say the least, as they sat there waiting for their drinks. Yato was playing with the napkins, creating tiny origami birds and snowflakes, then decorating the table with them. She had to admit they were quite pretty… Hiyori started to giggle along, and Yukine flicked a paper robin at Yato's head:
"Owwww! Yukine!"
Bishamon just turned to kazuma; he was watching with a faint smile on his face. Maybe… he would like a relationship more like this. Less formality and work…
"Your drinks," The waiter butted in. "I have five here… Did you order all of these madam?" He looked confusedly at Hiyori, and Bishamon resisted the urge to scoff. Humans could be so blind…
"Um actually sir," said Hiyori, "I'm here with my friends" The waiter looked up, blinked, and gave a start, obviously surprised.
"Oh! Sorry, I didn't see you there." He smiled blankly, "Here are your drinks…" He wandered off, and Bishamon was left sipping at her milkshake.
…
They stood outside the cafe, just twenty minutes later, in the busy rush hour. The cafe may have been cheap, but at least it was quiet, Bishamon thought, as the cars whizzed by.
"Bisha! Hey, you listening Bisha!" Came a voice.
"Don't call me that." She snapped, turning around.
"Yeah, Bisha… um actually wanted to have a word with you, if you don't mind!" Yato called.
"What?" She asked. She wouldn't admit it, but she was slightly curious. What would the Yato god have to say that was actually important? He shuffled slightly, and glanced pointedly at the others.
To her surprise, kazuma looked about to argue, but then Yukine just shrugged, and, after a brief glance between them, the three of them strolled off.
Yato stood in front of her, no longer pulling a stupid face. It always amazed her how he could go from acting like a five year old, to so serious, in no time at all.
"What are you doing?" He said. Bishamon stared, bewildered.
"What?"
"Kazuma. Why are you messing with him?"
"I-I don't understand." For once, the war god was lost for words. What was Yato saying? That she was… messing with kazuma? "I've not done anything to him…" She paused and Yato spoke again, his face a mask of severity.
"My point exactly."
"What?" She didn't understand. No, she didn't need to! She wouldn't stand for this nonsense; the Yato god was surely trying to trick her somehow! This whole meal was some stupid set-up!
"Seriously Bisha, you're killing the poor guy!"
That did it. Her hands clamped, and she rushed forward; her vision red. How dare he! How DARE he call her that!!! And act like this was all some stupid joke!! She slammed him into the brick wall, sprinkles of dust floating down. Nobody looked their way, despite the noise.
Yato scowled up at her, and struggled slightly under her grasp. Then stopped, and glared.
"Why do you... keep pretending Bisha-Bishamon? He gasped.
"You need to shut up, Yato." She spat his name out, unworthy god. How could she ever have believed they would get over their rivalry? How could she have believed that he would take something seriously for ONCE!?
"Listen-" He choked out,
"Don't… Just shut up!"
"No- listen-"
"I'm warning you…"
"Bishamon! Liste-"
"SHUT UP!!"
They both stopped, panting for breath. Bishamon noticed that there were cracks in the wall, where she'd been holding Yato.
"How did you react after kazuma had written you the note?"
There was a buzzing in her ears. What…? Was it… true? Did kazuma really…
"What am I doing?" She whispered, releasing Yato. He slumped, then stood up straight, rubbing his shoulder.
"That is the question…" He said.
Bishamon took off running.
A/N The fanart I used for the cover came off Google. So if it is yours and you wish for me not to use it, please message me and I will remove it.
Thank you for reading my story!