South Park and its characters © Trey Parker and Matt Stone

Multiple Pairings.

Rated T for South Park language.

Boyue's Note: This is for a book challenge that I saw! Choose a book, take the first full line in every tenth page, and write a drabble! I-I'm going to let you guess which book this is…

Chloe breathed against my neck.

Pairing: Kenny x Damien

Chloe breathes against my neck. Or at least I think her name is Chloe. And I think it's a she. It's hard to tell or care when there are six shots of Patrón cruising through my veins and I can barely remember my own name. Don't get me wrong, I'm not drunk yet, but if you ask me to explain to you what happened in the War of 1912, it might take a moment and a puke bucket next to my feet.

Or was it 1812? I can't remember off the top of my head. But that's probably only because Chloe is slipping my hand under her tank top and letting me feel her breasts. They are real, by the way, so you can stop with the juvenile rumors of how she gave blowjobs in the small gym's locker room to pay for her boob job. Anyways, where am I?

Chloe starts unbuttoning her shirt. I wish she'd unbutton my jeans and suck me off already. She throws her shirt on the floor and smiles at me in her black lacey bra. I reach up and pull her over so she is sitting on my laps. I start to grind up against her. It's a good thing I wore my looser jeans today or else my dick would be hurting like a bitch to get out. I put my hands on her back and start to unhook her bra. She leans over and licks my earlobe…

You know what? Fuck this. You don't wanna hear about all the boring foreplay shit, so I'll just let you know when shit finally gets going.

…

…

…

This is the part where I was originally going to tell you that I'm ramming into Chloe. Instead, it brings me great pain to let you know that there will be no sex this evening. You see, a certain son-of-Satan friend of mine has decided to show up without warning. Not only that, he actually has the nerve to throw Chloe out of my house – literally, by the way. Anyone with a sense of common courtesy should know that that is unacceptable and rude and an ultimate cockblock.

Then again, this is Damien we are talking about, and he plays by his own fucked up rules. For instance, right now, he is shooing me over in my bed so he can climb in and lies down without asking me if it's okay first. He is huffing and grumbling like a whiny bitch, and I already know what's happened.

"Why do I have to suffer every time you and Pip have a fight?"

"Shut up," the bastard says.

"Didn't have to kick Chloe out."

"I saved you from contracting a severe case of crabs, you fool."

Chloe has crabs, you guys. But it's still not a justifiable reason for cockblocking me though.

"But what am I goin' to do about this?"

Damien snaps his head around and snarls at me. His eyes dare me to try anything funny and he'll cut my dick off and feed it to hungry hell pigs. I throw my hands up and get down next to him. I'll probably start jerking off in a few minutes to get off but for now, I guess I can try to make Damien feel better. Listen to him rant, give him moral support, all the gay things that Kyle does for Stan whenever Stan is having a bad day. Except Damien isn't my boyfriend and me giving him a blowjob probably will only make things worse.

"So what happened in paradise this time?"

Even though I already know he's going to be gone when I open my eyes in the morning and I'll see him and Pip walking together in school like nothing has happened. Because nothing ever does happen. They fight over stupid shit like Damien leaving the toilet seat up or buying the wrong brand of milk. It's never serious, and they are never going to break up. So hence, me plus him doing anything equals wrong.

Damien rolls over and our foreheads touch. He doesn't say a thing, just stares at me with those scary soulless eyes. If you think we do more than sleeping in the same bed when he comes over, sorry to disappoint. We are just friends.

"Is that your dick poking me?" he asks.

Yup. Just friends.

THE END.

Boyue's Note: H-haha... I'm so rusty at writing... I just really need this to get back in the game...! One line down, nine more to go...!

07.17.10

1:17 AM