A/N: This idea came to me while I was listening to Colbie Caillat's Realize over and over again. I had always wanted to write a fic based on that song, but it was never fitting enough for any fics and characters I have planned, then along came Britanna and the wonderful 'sex is not dating' quote from Glee, which brought about the idea for this fic. I love reviews, so please give me reviews to keep me going :D
It didn't take long for Brittany to realize something that she had known all along. She didn't know when she had started to realize all these things, but she knew that it was just recently when she felt all those funny feelings. It wasn't too long ago when she felt something in the pit of her stomach after finding out that Santana had slept with Finn. She knew she is the one who had suggested Santana to sleep with Finn because... well, because sex is not dating, so Santana sleeping with Finn wouldn't mean anything.
Except that she felt something that she didn't fully understand when Santana told her all about it at school the next day. The Latina seemed excited... happy, even, at her own conquest. She had done what she had to do to boost her reputation at school. Coach Sylvester is going to make her a Cheerio captain in no time. The blonde cheerleader didn't understand why she felt something like bitterness in the back of her throat when Santana told her how Finn was like in bed, and then went on further to compare Finn to Puck. Sure, the two of them are best friends, and they share lots of secrets together. Talking about their encounters with boys in bed were nothing new to them. So, Brittany didn't understand why. But she didn't dare to interrupt her best friend when the Latina offered her pinkie to link with hers, before walking down the school hallway with her to their first class, still talking to the blonde about her last night's conquest.
It wasn't until one night when they had sex again on Brittany's bed, when Brittany made a very big mistake. It was not the first time that they had sex before. It was the... Brittany couldn't remember how many times they had it already, all she could remember was how the first time when they had sex together, they were just practising for boys. Soon after the fourth or the fifth time, Brittany knew that they don't need the practice anymore because both of them had slept with quite a number of boys by then, but she never rejected Santana whenever the Latina kissed her on the lips and led her to Brittany's bed, taking all her clothes off and laid her down on the bed. She could never reject it when Santana brought her all the way to Heaven and back.
This time though, Brittany felt that their love-making was a bit different than usual. Santana had kissed and touched her a little more gentler than usual, her kisses and touches lingered a little longer than usual. It was very subtle from Santana's part, and yet the blonde could feel the little changes in her kisses and carresses. When both of them had calmed down from the high and very much sated, Santana still stayed on top of her, holding her close and looking deep into her eye (something that Santana had never done before because she would normally roll onto her side and fall asleep immediately after they had sex).
"It wasn't as good as when I'm with you, you know?" Santana broke the blissful silence off suddenly.
"Huh?" Brittany's face scrunched up in her signature confused look that Santana always thought to be so endearing.
"Sex with Finn... or even Puck... they were never as good as when I have sex with you," Santana clarified, stroking the blonde's hair.
This was something new to Brittany that she had never heard of before. Her heart did a flip in her chest, and she couldn't resist the next question that came out from her mouth. "Am I the best that you ever had?" she asked ever so bluntly that nearly caught the brunette off guard.
However, Santana collected herself immediately and smirked mischeviously at Brittany. Instead of answering her, she leaned down and captured Brittany's lips in a powerful, passionate kiss that was so full of love and adoration that the blonde could feel her heart exploding in her chest. Something that she had never felt before, and it scared her. All her feelings prior to this, from the weird feelings she felt when Santana told her about her night with Finn and then comparing Finn to Puck, to this indescribable ecstatic feelings now when Santana was kissing her – it scared her, but in a good way.
If Brittany was smart enough, or if she had the time to ponder over those weird feelings she had when Santana told her about her encounters with Finn and Puck, she would come to realize that feeling is what everyone would describe as jealousy.
When they finally broke the kiss off and Santana gently pulled away but still stayed on top of her in the very same position, brown eyes connecting deep with blue ones, that was when Brittany made that very big mistake. Out of nowhere, she had blurted out the words that had only meant to be kept in her heart and head. That three little words that could bring either joy or pain to someone, depending on the person receiving the words.
For Santana though, it had brought her neither joy nor pain. Brittany saw the mixture of emotions written all over the Latina's face once the words reached her. Shocked and surprised at first, then with confusion and finally, fear... Santana rolled off from Brittany, got up from the bed, put on her clothes and left Brittany's room without a word. Without looking back, leaving Brittany still in her bed, staring after her in bewilderment. She was too stunned by Santana's reaction to get up from the bed and chase after the brunette. She had spilled her guts out, offering her heart so generously to Santana, only to be crushed and broken by the one person whom she thought would never hurt her.
A stray tear rolled down her cheek as she took time to ponder on those weird feelings she felt few days prior, which had built up to this. She may not realize that the feelings earlier were described as jealousy, but she was very certain that the feelings she had for Santana at that moment was love.
She loved Santana, and it took her only now to realize it.