Author's Note: Well, this is interesting. I'd originally intended this fic to be a flashback for a short one-shot relating to my Star Wars crossover. However, the fic somehow grew far past the size I originally intended for it, declaring, Sephiroth-like, "I will never be just a flashback!" and proceeded to dwarf the main portion of the one-shot that I had planned. So it now stands on its own, and I will have to post the rest of the one-shot separately, later.
The title of this fic refers to an awesome song called Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts. It is amazing; go listen to it! I normally think of the song as referring to Zack and Aerith, but the "broken road" portion seemed to fit here perfectly.
This Broken Road
By
Kazaam
"Fair… What is this?"
"What's what?" Sixteen-year-old Zack Fair glanced up from the map he was studying, only to see Sephiroth's raised eyebrow and disbelieving expression. He followed the General's gaze down to the fuzzy purple object he held, having just pulled it from Zack's traveling pack while intending to retrieve some supplies before setting up the tent.
Zack blinked, a deer-in-the-headlights look crossing his face as he recognized the object, and mentally berated himself for forgetting it was in there, even as he felt his cheeks redden in embarrassment. He should have gotten the supplies himself!
"Err… That's… umm… Mochi. Sir."
"…Mochi."
Mochi was a Behemoth plushie. It was round and cuddly, covered in short purple fuzz with a shock of coarse, dark red fluff serving as the mane. A short, green felt fin protruded from the back, and its stubby little tail was decorated with little white knobs near the tip. Two soft, tiny black horns were attached to its head, and a little nose of black thread and two yellow button eyes completed its appearance. It seemed to wear an expression rather like that of an expectant puppy.
"…Yeah… I, uh… I'm not quite sure how he got in there, really." Zack rubbed the back of his neck, unable to look at Sephiroth, but feeling his commander's eyes burning into him. What would he say? The stuffed plush was hardly regulation; if anything, it took up valuable space in the pack that would be better served holding extra supplies. "Must've… fallen in there, and got packed by accident, or somethin'…"
This wasn't true, of course, and if anyone could read it from Zack's face, it was Sephiroth, not that Zack's guilty expression was difficult to read in the first place. Mochi had been carried in Zack's pack since he'd left home at thirteen, and had continued to be carried in his pack with each and every mission. Safely hidden inside, he'd been a comfort to a young boy heading out on his own for the first time in his life, and a familiar reminder of the home and family he'd left so far behind. During Zack's childhood days, Mochi had been there to keep him safe from imaginary monsters hiding out in the dark rainforests of Gongaga, for nothing would dare to challenge the mighty Behemoth. And he'd lent Zack the courage to go out and vanquish his own monsters, often venturing further into the forest than his mother would have liked.
So of course Mochi had come along when Zack had gone on his biggest adventure yet – joining SOLDIER. After all they'd shared together, Zack hadn't had the heart to leave him behind, and so here he was… worn, yes, and threadbare in places, but still as lovable as ever.
Zack swallowed uncomfortably. Surely Sephiroth couldn't figure all that out, could he? Slowly, he lifted his gaze to the General. There were stories that the other SOLDIERs had told, stories about Sephiroth being able to actually read people's minds, but those were ridiculous. They couldn't possibly be true!
But, oh… He knew. Somehow Sephiroth knew about the childish impulse that kept Mochi inside Zack's pack, the silly feeling that Mochi was there to watch over him and keep him safe. But what would he think? Zack hadn't known the General long, had really only started to work with him after Angeal had vanished…
At the unreadable, chilly green stare he received, Zack knew he was sunk. The General did not approve.
"You realize, do you not, that by making room for this child's toy in your pack, you may have left out something critical that you might need later?" His voice was neutral, but Zack bristled at the criticism.
"Well, yeah! But I didn't, I mean, I packed everything I would have needed for this trip!" This was mostly true, though a rain poncho, an extra set of gloves, and a backup pair of socks had been abandoned on the floor of his room when he realized that Mochi would not fit otherwise. But he was from Gongaga, so he didn't mind the rain (as long as it wasn't cold), he was going to ditch the extra gloves anyway, and he already had three other pairs of extra socks. "So there was plenty of room! It's not like I'd sacrifice the mission for a plush! …Sir," he added belatedly.
"Did you realize, then, that even if you had the extra room, this toy just adds unnecessary bulk to a pack that you will be carrying over several miles?"
Zack frowned and looked away, scowling at being chastised by his superior. "I don't care," he grumbled. "It's my pack." It was true that the pack had become a bit unwieldy – even having removed the "unnecessary" items, he'd been forced to cram Mochi into the pack to ensure that it would still close.
Sephiroth's lips tightened in an expression of displeasure. "Watch your tone," he said in a clipped voice. "You are a SOLDIER, and I expect you to act like one. That includes showing respect to your superior officers, and," he strode forward to shove the plushie and the pack into a startled Zack's arms, "using some sense in packing for a mission. This is not a vacation."
Turning, Sephiroth stalked to the far side of the clearing to begin setting up his tent. Zack stared after him, shock turning to anger.
"Angeal didn't have a problem with it!" he called out. "He said I could take whatever I wanted, as long as I still had all my equipment, and it didn't interfere with the mission. And it never did!"
Sephiroth paused in what he was doing. "…Angeal knew about it?" His tone was quiet.
"Yeah," Zack replied, defensively, missing the danger in Sephiroth's voice.
"…Then, in case you haven't noticed, I am not Angeal. Angeal deserted SOLDIER when he was needed most." Sephiroth's voice was icy. "Quite frankly, I'm surprised he let you get away with as much as you have. He was too soft, that was his weakness – he lacked the discipline necessary to do what needed to be done. Perhaps his mentoring of you was a mistake, if this is the result of it."
Zack's jaw dropped, then his eyes narrowed in fury. "How can you say that! Angeal was a great mentor! Just because he's not as cold as you are, just because he can relax and have some fun, doesn't mean he wasn't a good SOLDIER! Everything I know about SOLDIER, about dreams and honor, I learned from him!"
"Then, perhaps, that is the problem." Sephiroth bit out the words. "You would be wise to forget Angeal; he is a traitor to SOLDIER."
"No!" Angeal had to have a good reason for leaving! He just had to! "Angeal's twice the SOLDIER you ever were! If he were here-"
"He is not here." Sephiroth whirled on him. "I am. What do you have to say to that?"
"…He… he… I'm sure he had a good reason-"
"No." Sephiroth turned away. "This conversation is over."
"…Angeal is not a traitor! He isn't!"
"I said it's over. Put up your tent." Sephiroth turned a warning glare onto the young SOLDIER. "Don't make me say it again."
Zack stared, unconsciously clutching his plushie close. Tears of anger and frustration stung the corners of his eyes, and he abruptly whirled away, storming to the other side of the clearing to put as much distance between himself and the General as possible, and flung down his pack. He ripped the tent supplies from its contents and fumbled with them, trying to separate the fabric and supports and jam them into the correct positions.
Angeal wasn't a traitor! He couldn't be. Zack didn't know why Angeal had chosen to leave, why he'd gone so suddenly without even letting Zack know… but there had to be a good reason! Couldn't Sephiroth see that? They'd been friends, after all!
At the other tent, Sephiroth sighed in frustration. He was irritated with himself for losing his temper, and he was irritated with Fair… with Zack… for refusing to believe ill of Angeal, when Sephiroth could not help it.
It had been selfish of Angeal to leave, especially having abandoned Zack to face the Ifrit Summon alone. His student had nearly been killed because of it! He would have been, had not Sephiroth been able to get there in time. Didn't Zack hold any resentment for the man? Sephiroth did. He hadn't wanted to admit that to himself, least of all to Zack, but it hurt when Angeal left. He thought they were friends. Hadn't that counted for anything? After Genesis broke with them, Sephiroth believed he'd still have Angeal, steady as a rock, to rely on.
It twisted his heart to know that that had never been the case.
And now, after having seen Zack wearing such a kicked puppy look after Sephiroth had been through with him – the look, he knew, that Angeal had been unable to resist – he was even more disgusted with himself. The Behemoth plush had really been a minor item. He had had no good reason to go off on Zack like that… Zack was still a Second Class, not too long out of Third, and still only sixteen. He was just a boy, capable of feeling as scared and lonely as any other, and Sephiroth knew the almost magical powers a beloved plush could have at making one feel safe. Undoubtedly, Zack needed it now, more than ever.
He was still hurting over Angeal's betrayal, too.
He glanced over at the boy, who was barely halfway through struggling to set up his tent. Sephiroth would have to apologize later, after they'd both cooled down. Tempers were running high at the moment, had been ever since Angeal vanished. Sephiroth was trying to conceal his feelings behind a barrier of logic and discipline, while Zack dealt with his the only way he knew how – by believing that there had to be some good behind it all, and taking solace in the things he loved.
Undoubtedly, neither method was enough for either of them. If Sephiroth, with all his control, couldn't help but suffer cracks in his marble façade, then doubt must be eating away at Zack's heart, in turn. This was unnatural for both of them; they would surely begin to fracture under the stress if something wasn't done. Indeed, the ridiculous argument was evidence of it already beginning. Sephiroth would need to do something about it before things worsened – it was his duty as Zack's commander, more so now that the boy was left without a mentor at such a critical point in his life.
…But… Sephiroth was not Angeal. There was a reason why he'd never adopted a student of his own. Aside from his position as General of the entirety of SOLDIER, he was not, and had never been, a "people person." He was a great leader, knew how to command and inspire, how to win loyalty from his troops and care about their well-being, but he did so from a distance. To many, he appeared cold. To the public, he was the untouchable icon of ShinRa's might; to the President, a hard tool used to carry out its will; to his SOLDIERs, the rigid epitome of perfection that all should aspire to. Most of the men came to understand something of the man behind the icon, saw that his ways of caring were different. But they were there, and the men loved him for it, knowing all the same that he would never be one of their buddies or peers.
So Sephiroth led, while Angeal became the heart of the organization. Though Sephiroth would gladly lend an ear, Angeal, by his very nature, was more approachable and empathetic. He was a natural choice for the mentor program, having helped many a young SOLDIER with difficulties of all kinds, whether his student or not. It really was a tragedy, then, more than could be expressed, when it was Angeal himself who had abandoned them all.
And Sephiroth did not know if he could do what Angeal had been able to do. There was simply no way he could replace the former First. He could try, but it would be difficult and awkward. He could not be someone he wasn't. Logic and discipline did not go far in repairing a broken heart, and for all his understanding of people – he could not be an effective leader if he didn't, after all – he could not make himself any more personable than he was.
And for Zack, who was yet too young and unfamiliar with Sephiroth to understand his methods, anything Sephiroth did might not be enough. The heart of SOLDIER was broken, and Zack, so close to that heart, suffered more keenly from the wound than most others, save, perhaps, Sephiroth himself. He needed more than what meager comfort Sephiroth could offer, deserved more.
But Sephiroth would try. Though he didn't know where to begin, didn't know if he could push past his own pain enough to be effective, he would try, for Zack's sake. He just hoped that Zack would be able to see his efforts for what they were.
Glancing across the clearing, at Zack's now erect sleeping tent, Sephiroth considered approaching him now. But Zack had confined himself within the tent, and for once, Sephiroth was unsure whether it would be best to disturb him now or later. Perhaps it would be better to build the fire and warm some food first; Zack had always seemed to be more enthusiastic at mealtimes.
Sephiroth went about the task, and soon had flames crackling merrily within the now darkened clearing, shedding a cheerful, warm glow upon the tents and supplies. A few minutes later saw the food being warmed – ShinRa rations, but they weren't horribly bad, and Angeal had once said that it wasn't the food, but the company that mattered. Of course, that had been said about Angeal's own excellent cooking, but Sephiroth assumed that the same principle applied here.
"…Zack," Sephiroth had approached the tent and rapped gently on the wooden support. "…Are you awake?"
There was no answer. Sephiroth frowned. Had Zack really gone to bed without dinner? That was rather uncharacteristic, but then he had been upset, and Sephiroth had been unduly sharp with him. Perhaps Zack really had no desire to associate with him any more that night. It was understandable, he supposed, but, for some reason, Sephiroth found that it bothered him more than it should.
He knocked again, just to be sure. There was no response, other than a shift of fabric and soft breathing within. So, Zack really was asleep. Well, it had been a long day.
Sephiroth sighed and moved away. There would be no company with the food tonight; the apology would have to wait until tomorrow.
Inside the tent, Zack was not sleeping at all. He stared sullenly down at the dark fabric of his sleeping bag. He knew he was being childish, but his anger at Sephiroth still burned like hot coals. He knew Sephiroth was hurt by his old friend, but how could he have said all that about Angeal? It was one thing coming from someone else, but coming from Sephiroth, his hero, made it so much worse. Zack didn't want anything to do with him right now. His gaze flicked up to Sephiroth's retreating silhouette and the bright glow of the fire beyond it. Besides, he wasn't hungry.
His stomach grumbled its disagreement.
Zack scowled and rolled over so he wouldn't have to see the fire and could try to ignore the smell of the food it represented. His thoughts turned back to Sephiroth's earlier words.
Angeal deserted SOLDIER… He was too soft… lacked discipline… He's a traitor.
Did Sephiroth really believe all that? How could he? Angeal and Sephiroth were supposed to be friends! They'd worked together for years, along with Genesis. Everyone had known they were close.
But… maybe things really hadn't been what they'd seemed. Zack didn't know much about Genesis, had only encountered him a few times before, but the rumors were that he'd secretly been jealous of Sephiroth's fame and power. Was that why he'd left? It seemed like such a trivial thing to Zack, but maybe it was different for Genesis.
If that was the case, though, why did Angeal go? Surely he hadn't been jealous too! No, Zack knew him better than that. Angeal wouldn't have been so petty. But for the life of him, Zack couldn't figure out why he'd left. He couldn't possibly have thought Genesis was right about Sephiroth, but then why throw his chips in with the other First? Maybe Angeal was trying to convince Genesis to reconsider. Except, that didn't explain why Angeal hadn't told anyone about it beforehand, or at least sent word later!
Maybe things weren't what they'd seemed with Angeal either. If Genesis could hide his true feelings, then Angeal could too. But wouldn't Sephiroth have known what was going on between the three of them? If so, he certainly hadn't said much. Was he concealing things too?
Or had Sephiroth been as unaware of things as Zack? Zack would almost rather resent him for the former possibility over this new one being true, because if it was… then that was just too cruel. It would mean that Angeal really hadn't been the person Zack had thought he was. Better for all three to have been in on it, than one being intentionally excluded. Zack could more easily forgive them all for the former, but for the latter… what did that say about his mentor?
His mentoring of you was a mistake.
Zack sniffed, hugging Mochi tightly. That stung, more than anything else Sephiroth had said. Completely aside from the implication that Zack himself was a failure, it was an indication of how incompetent Sephiroth seemed to think Angeal was. Did he think so little of the man? How could he, when Zack had regarded him so highly? Dreams, honor… did it mean nothing? Was everything Angeal taught him a lie, as useless as Sephiroth seemed to think his warmth and compassion was?
What if Sephiroth was right?
Maybe Angeal's mentoring of Zack was a mistake.
Zack felt thoroughly miserable. He wanted to cry, but that was childish. As childish as the old plushie that he clutched, the one that had started this whole wretched night. Sephiroth was right – the stuffed toy should have been left behind long ago. It was stupid.
But Zack found himself burying his face into the coarse fur along its back. It wasn't the newest plush out there, wasn't the best made, didn't have the super soft, shiny fur that most new ones did. But he loved it. He wouldn't want any other.
And, though he'd sooner take on a Tonberry than admit it to Sephiroth, the plush had come to mean something more to him. Yes, it had always been a reminder of home, but ever since Angeal had left, Zack had come to associate it with his mentor too, watching over him in Angeal's place, always someone he could talk to.
He didn't want to believe all those horrible things about Angeal. He didn't want to get rid of his plush. He didn't want to put everything he loved behind him, but the world was turning out to be a much more bleak place than he'd ever remembered, and he wondered whether there just wasn't room for those things anymore.
"Angeal…" he whispered. "Where are you?"
If only he'd return… Zack would give anything for that. But he was a SOLDIER, so he had to stay strong. He tried not to show how much his mentor's absence affected him, especially in front of Sephiroth, who probably expected better. But it was hard. What kind of mentor just abandons their student like that? He had to keep believing that Angeal had his reasons, and that he'd come back when he was ready… For all the times Zack had told himself that he didn't really need Angeal anymore, deep down, he knew it was a lie.
If nothing else, Zack had always wanted Angeal to be there when he made First. Now it looked like that was never gonna happen. Now there was nobody waiting with a small, but proud smile when Zack achieved something new. Nobody pushing Zack to do his best, or looking forward to teach him something different. Nobody making sure that he was doing things right, or doing the right things.
Now there was only Zack. It was up to him to live up to Angeal's expectations. But he'd be doing it alone.
Well, there was Sephiroth, but he was busy being General. He didn't need Zack hanging around just because Sephiroth was Angeal's old friend. And Zack didn't want him to feel obligated to do anything, just because he was Angeal's student.
Former student.
"…Guess it's just you and me, Mochi," came the sad sigh.
Wrapping an arm securely around the plush, Zack burrowed into the SOLDIER-issue sleeping bag, and eventually fell into an unsettled sleep.
The morning dawned cool and quiet. There was a light frost on the hard ground, lending a bite to the early autumn air. The camp was still, the fire having died out long ago, and Sephiroth was just beginning to wake within his own small tent.
A sudden crash disrupted the peace, followed by the sharp sound of tearing canvas, and a moment later by a frightened shout. Startled, Sephiroth bolted from his tent, hand gripping the Masamune.
Sephiroth stared in horror at a large gryphon that had smashed down upon Zack's tent, and currently had its vicious beak buried within the fabric. It had clamped down upon something, and was tugging its head violently back and forth, sharp claws securely gripping a struggling form through the thick canvas walls.
Even as Sephiroth started toward the monster, a fist freed itself from the restricting fabric of the collapsed tent and landed a desperate blow to the side of the birdlike head. But it didn't have much momentum behind it, and the gryphon only blinked in annoyance and buried its beak further into the bundle. The second and third blows, however, succeeded in causing the creature to draw back, shaking its head, and scream in anger at its disagreeable meal.
Zack took the opportunity to frantically scramble away, as fast as the dark confines of the canvas would allow. He knew he had only seconds to find his sword and escape from the tent, before the gryphon seized upon him again.
There it was! Zack's searching hands landed upon the hilt of his weapon and he snatched it up, only to yelp in terror as something roughly grabbed his leg and yanked him backward. Twisting around, he came face to face with the monster through a gaping tear in the fabric. Desperately, he stabbed upward. But the creature instantly twitched its head to the side, and clamped down hard on the blade with its beak. Zack could hear the metal groan in protest.
He tugged downward, only for the beast to respond by jerking roughly back and wrenching the sword from his hands to send it flying. It clacked its beak in satisfaction, then Zack stared in frozen horror as the wickedly curved instrument darted straight for him.
Angeal! The frantic cry for help didn't even make it to his lips. But just as he expected the pain of the beak tearing into his unprotected neck, the monster was suddenly blasted away with a shriek and flurry of white feathers.
But it wasn't Angeal who had come to his rescue. As the long, flashing blade revealed, it was Sephiroth who had beaten the monster back.
Zack watched, once again in awe at the ease with which Sephiroth wielded his blade and overcame the creature. In a matter of seconds, the mortally wounded gryphon was beating heavy wings to get away. It never completely made it into the air, and crashed into the undergrowth of the forest. It wouldn't survive; Sephiroth let it go.
Whirling, the General turned to Zack. "Are you alright?" he demanded, approaching the young SOLDIER.
Zack struggled to calm his rapid breathing and pulled himself to his feet, wincing at the set of scratches around his lower leg and those that wrapped around his back, arm, and chest where he'd been scored by the gryphon's talons. He was lucky that the canvas had been so tough – it had protected him from the worst. But still, having been attacked in his own tent, which he'd been completely unprepared for… he shuddered. That was too close.
"Yeah, I'm fine. …Thanks." This was the second time Sephiroth had saved him, the first being when Angeal had vanished. He didn't appreciate the reminder, though was glad the General had been there on both accounts.
Sephiroth eyed the boy critically, questioning the truth of the statement, but could find nothing other than those minor injuries. He nodded, accepting the words. Then he raised an eyebrow as Zack's eyes grew wide in horror at something on the ground.
"Mochi!" Zack darted to where the plush lay, abandoned in the dirt. The poor thing had been torn open during the gryphon's attack; indeed, clumps of white stuffing lay scattered about the clearing.
Gathering the tattered plush in his arms, Zack scrambled to pick up the stuffing before it could be blown away by the light wind. Several minutes later, when he had everything he could find, he set about trying to stuff it all back inside, doing his best to brush off the dirt and leaves that stuck to it all.
Sephiroth watched his frantic efforts, at a loss as to how to help the distraught boy. It was only a toy… Surely, Zack could see that maybe it was time to get a new one, with this so badly damaged? And now that they were awake, it was time to eat, pack, and proceed on the mission. They really couldn't afford the time to waste on trying to patch the plush back together.
But, for reasons Sephiroth did not fully understand, he did not interfere with Zack's actions, waiting as Zack rushed to his pack and took out a small sewing kit, and began to stitch the large rip in the toy.
Or attempted to, at any rate. It was clear that Zack had probably never sewed anything in his life. The work was crude, the patch jagged and done quickly, almost as if Zack feared that the life of his plush would bleed out in his hands if he didn't fix it soon enough.
When Zack finished, his triumphant grin slowly faded as he took in his rough efforts. The white thread, the only color he had, stood out starkly against the dark purple of the Behemoth. The edges were uneven and ragged; gaps in the stitches allowed white fluff to poke through. And the plush seemed uncharacteristically flat in the middle. Clearly, not all of the stuffing had been found.
Zack's disappointed expression suddenly became a scowl. Angry at himself for the pathetic attempt at patching up the toy, at the gryphon for ruining everything, at the plush itself for getting ripped in the first place, and at Sephiroth and Angeal for making such a mess of things, Zack threw it down and stood, turning away. Stupid thing. Maybe it was time for him to get rid of it, after all.
Stalking to his pack, he proceeded to stow his remaining gear and roll up his sleeping bag, which now also sported several rips in it. The tent was useless now, destroyed as it was, so he left it. When he finished, he shouldered the pack and secured his sword, then turned in the direction they would be going, avoiding Sephiroth's gaze altogether.
"Are we leaving?" he demanded.
Sephiroth, having taken his cue and packed while Zack had done the same, watched him curiously for a moment. Then he finally answered.
"…Yes, if you are ready."
With that, Zack headed out of the clearing. The injured plush lay abandoned on the cold ground.
Sephiroth did not follow immediately. He looked from the retreating figure of the young SOLDIER to the beloved plush, puzzling over Zack's actions. Why take the trouble to patch it up, if he was just going to abandon it? This was entirely uncharacteristic of the normally cheerful, optimistic boy; he could simply have the toy properly fixed later, if he wasn't satisfied with the job he'd done.
Sephiroth sighed. Clearly, Zack was upset over more than just the plush. Everything else was starting to get to him, and he was beating himself up over it. And with a pang of remorse, Sephiroth realized that he had yet to apologize for his words the night before; that had probably not helped matters any.
He considered the plush, where it seemed to gaze sorrowfully with its little button eyes at Zack's back. After a moment, the General stooped down and gently picked it up, placing it securely within his own pack. He was sure Zack would come to regret his hasty actions later today, and there was no reason why the boy should suffer more than he already was.
The rest of the hike that day was tense and silent, at least from Zack's perspective. He did not speak to Sephiroth unless spoken to first, and he tore into the monsters they encountered with resentment, still blaming the one that destroyed his plush. Now he had nothing to remind him of Angeal, though perhaps that was just as well, if Sephiroth was right. Some part of him knew the bitterness he felt at them all was unfair, but he couldn't help the moody thoughts. He was beginning to wish that some other Second had been assigned the mission with the General.
When they finally made camp that night, Zack excused himself and left to search for firewood, or so he claimed. Sephiroth suspected that the boy simply wanted time to himself.
He watched Zack stalk away, somewhat surprised that he was still so upset. He'd hoped that the SOLDIER would eventually cool off during the long hike, but that was apparently not the case. Though maybe Sephiroth himself had not been of any help… He'd thought that respecting the boy's desire for silence was what Zack wanted. Perhaps he should have instead tried to draw him out of the dark corner he'd shut himself up in. After all, as he'd learned too late from Genesis, it was not always best to wait for others to come to you, whether or not that's what they wanted.
Setting up the tent, Sephiroth considered what he should do. Aside from the fact that he couldn't allow Zack to keep on this way – the SOLDIER would need to be focused when they arrived at their destination – it bothered him that Zack was so upset. Maybe it was just because he was Angeal's apprentice that Sephiroth felt more responsibility for him, but the boy's cheerfulness had come to be something he expected. He wouldn't admit that he looked forward to it; after all, he hardly knew Zack other than the few interactions they'd had in the recent past. But it had been refreshing, especially in light of recent events.
As he thought, Sephiroth began to remove needed supplies and rations from their packs, only to pause when he came upon the plush he'd almost forgotten that he'd stowed inside his own. Taking it out, he turned it over, the critical side of his nature examining the poor sewing attempt. It really was awful, and part of him was rather sad that the plush had been reduced to such a sorry state.
This… would not do.
Almost before he realized what he was doing, Sephiroth had dug out his own sewing kit and proceeded to rip out the crude stitches in the toy.
Zack trudged back through the forest, stewing in his own glum thoughts.
He now wished that he hadn't left Mochi behind. He thought it was better that he get rid of it, but, torn up or not, he missed the plush. He'd thought about running back to retrieve it at various points during the hike, but just couldn't bring himself to do it, not in front of Sephiroth. And each time he debated it, they just got further and further away, until it had been too late.
He shuffled the armload of firewood to get a more comfortable grip.
"…I've really messed things up this time, haven't I, Angeal?" he unhappily asked the leaves fluttering above him. "Gaia, I've been so stupid. Stupid to bring the plush, stupid to care so much about it, and stupid to leave it behind!" He kicked a rock out of his way. "Sephiroth must think I'm such an idiot. …I don't even know what to say to him.
"Why'd you have to leave? I wish you'd come back, or at least tell me why. Was it something I did? Or was I just not important enough to you to tell?"
Zack abruptly shook his head in irritation. "Listen to me. Gaia, I sound like such a kid," he muttered in disgust. "Sephiroth doesn't act this way, and he's probably just as upset." Another quick shake. "Get over it, Zack. Focus. Focus."
He finally reached the clearing where he'd left Sephiroth, and saw that everything had already been set up. He must've taken longer than he thought – there was even a fire going and food set out to warm. So much for bothering to get the firewood himself.
Feeling another flash of annoyance, Zack plodded over to the fire to dump the wood, ignoring Sephiroth as the General glanced up at him from where he was sitting.
Suddenly, something else caught his eye, and Zack froze, staring in amazement.
There, sitting across the fire from Sephiroth, newly repaired and cleaned up, was Mochi.
Awed, Zack slowly approached the plush, and reached down to pick him up. He carefully turned the soft toy over in his hands, examining the precise and even stitching that held the tear together, and the way that the black thread was barely visible through the purple fur. Giving Mochi a squeeze, Zack noticed that it was no longer as flat as before.
Zack raised his eyes to stare at Sephiroth. "…Did you…? How?"
"I removed some of the stuffing from your bedroll, seeing as how it was in danger of escaping from the tears in it, anyway. It worked satisfactorily to re-stuff the plush," Sephiroth answered. "…I did repair the sleeping bag, as well."
Zack shook his head. That wasn't what he meant. "But… why?"
Sephiroth paused, as if to consider his words carefully. Then he shrugged. "Because it was important to you," he said, simply.
Zack returned his gaze to the plush. Sephiroth had done this for him? Even though it was such a silly, childish thing? Even after the General had berated him for carrying it in the first place, and everything Zack had yelled at him?
Zack suddenly felt a stab of guilt about the way he'd acted and the things he'd said. "But…"
"I wanted to apologize to you, and I regret that I hadn't done it earlier. The things I said… were uncalled for." Sephiroth paused, as Zack glanced back at him. "I… am finding it difficult to…" He gave his head a quick shake, recalling the thought. "I have not been myself lately," he amended. "And for that, I am sorry, Zack."
Zack stared at Sephiroth, at a loss for words. What the General had said… it illustrated even more how upset he'd been over Angeal's and Genesis' leaving.
"…I'm sorry too. I shouldn't've gotten angry like that, and what I said… I shouldn't've compared you to Angeal like that. It wasn't fair, and you're just as good a SOLDIER as Angeal was-" His breath hitched on the last word. It was too hard to think of Angeal as having truly betrayed them all.
He started at the feel of a hand coming to rest on his shoulder, and looked up to see Sephiroth standing there.
"I don't want to believe that he's a traitor, either," he said, kindly. "He means so much to both of us."
Zack managed a small smile. "Then don't."
Sephiroth grunted. That was easy to say. Suddenly, he felt something squeeze him around the middle, and he stiffened, his eyes widening a fraction as he looked down to see Zack with his arms wrapped around him, still holding on to Mochi.
"Thanks, Seph," he mumbled into the General's coat.
Sephiroth raised an eyebrow at the shortening of his name, but didn't comment. "For what?"
"For Mochi. And for saving me. Twice. And for… well, just for being there."
Another grunt. "…I cannot replace Angeal."
Zack shook his head. "I know. And I don't want you to."
Sephiroth blinked, somewhat bemused, but touched by Zack's words. Hesitantly, he reached up to awkwardly return the embrace. He could not recall ever having been… hugged… before.
After a moment, Zack snickered, causing Sephiroth to frown. Was there something funny about this?
Zack pulled away. "I can only imagine the Great Sephiroth bending over a child's plushie to sew it up. Who'd have thought the Terror of Wutai would do something so… so… motherly!" He brought a hand to his mouth to stifle the laughter that threatened to bubble up.
Sephiroth's brows drew together just slightly. He wasn't sure he appreciated the comparison, though he was privately amused. "I simply did not want to see such shoddy craftsmanship in my presence, when there was something I could do about it."
Zack's laughter stilled at the General's words, and he wondered if he'd gone too far. It wasn't his fault he'd done such an awful sewing job…
Sephiroth, upon seeing Zack's hesitance, chose to continue, lest the boy mistake his meaning. "Does the Malboro that taught you to sew have a specific residence? We should pay it a visit and ensure it does not inflict its evil upon another hapless soul."
Zack gaped at him. "…Did you just…? Was that… a joke? Oh man…" He ran a hand through his hair, a grin spreading across his face. "Wait 'til I tell Kunsel! He's gonna flip! I didn't know you had a sense of humor."
A grunt. "I do when the situation calls for it."
Zack chuckled, moving to sit next to the fire. This felt… good, being able to joke with someone again. Surprising that it was Sephiroth, though, of all people… but Zack was glad. It was nice knowing that maybe his commander, his hero, wasn't as frigid as he appeared. He couldn't replace Angeal, but… well, he didn't have to.
And maybe Angeal would still come back.
There was a long sigh as Zack gazed down at his plush. "…It's silly, isn't it?"
Sephiroth raised an eyebrow, sitting beside the boy. "What is?"
"Mochi. Carrying a plushie around with me."
"Hm. Perhaps. But you should not belittle the things that are important to you. Even if they do seem silly. …And you should not listen to those who do."
Surprised, Zack glanced up at Sephiroth, to where the man was gazing into the dancing fire. Had he just gone so far as to admit he was wrong? Sure sounded like it. Thoughtful, Zack turned back to the flames.
"…I'm glad you're here, Sephiroth." I hope you stay.
There was an unspoken agreement with his thoughts. "…As am I."
Both had been hurt by friends who'd abandoned them to the harsh realities of the world, but perhaps, now that they'd found each other… they could help one another heal.
End