Rose and Scorpius' thoughts on their relationship: A twoshot.
Dedicated to brooke737 for her birthday! (They were like 10 days ago but she read it in LJ;)
Written for the PostSecret Challenge (Quote used: 51. Despite the walls you build, I'm here. You don't have to be on your own.)
Also for the Because of Love Challenge. The quotes used (at the beginning of the two chapters in italics) belong to wonderful Amy; they are from her fic: love, love, love which you should read- it's great!
Lot's of love to Fiyero's Angel (Erie) for beta reading and supporting and being awesome;))
Let's talk about love
.
Part 1~ Rose
far across the distance, and spaces, between us.
.
Because if you just give up on love, then you weren't worthy of it to begin with.
I never thought I'd ever fall in love. Not in that way; not that much, not that passionately. Not with that person. He was everything I had to stay away from. He was a Malfoy, a Slytherin, a womanizer. He was not a nice boy. He was not my type. But he was a challenge I was willing to face.
Scorpius was the kind of the guy every girl liked, but Scorpius was also the kind of the guy a girl like me could never get. I was the bookish redhead; I was another Weasley, another feisty Gryffindor. We were fighting with such passion - it was my father's fault; he pointed him out that day on the platform - that someone could easily say we hated each other. We didn't. He just annoyed the hell out of me. And I guess I annoyed the hell out of him too.
That was until on our seventh year, when we were made Heads. We had to share a room and spend most of our time together. I still didn't like him, but I had to admit he was truly smart and funny. Spending time with him made me forget all the things I didn't like about him, all the things that annoyed the hell out of me.
I wasn't surprised when he kissed me. We were studying in the library in silence when I looked up from my book - ready to perform a silent spell I had spent the past hour trying to understand - when I saw him looking at me. I returned the look questioningly and he sighed.
"Rose Weasley…" he told me. "You are a hell of person."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Honestly, I don't know. I don't know anything when it comes to you."
He seemed tired and honest and acting in a way Scorpius Malfoy had never been before: his blond hair was messy, falling all over his forehead; and his grey eyes seemed confused, like he couldn't understand anything for the first time in his life.
I smiled and pushed some blonde curls from his forehead. My movement appeared to surprise him and, never taking his eyes from mine, he leaned forward and kissed me; a kiss so chaste and yet so passionate at the same time.
After that, it was like we were in a relationship. You know that confusing type of relationship which is exclusive but you have no idea where it's going? Yes, that relationship. The one you don't really talk about.
When people ask you 'what's going on between you two?' you're not sure what to answer. So you smile and say that everything is fine. Although you know something's wrong. But you're not sure what it is. Because when it's the two of you nothing has really changed despite the fact that you fight less but more passionately. No random girls are around him anymore and you catch him staring at you like he's trying to solve the biggest problem the world has ever faced. And when he notices you looking at him, he smiles the sweetest smile you've ever seen.
That kind of relationship we had. Until I realized, about 5 months after that first kiss, that I was in love with him. That I loved him. And that made me feel the worst. Because I had him, but no, not really. Because he would open up to me and tell me his thoughts when he felt like it or listen me whine about stupid things and make me laugh them away and he would hug me but… he wouldn't say much and I wouldn't demand him to in fear he would get really angry. So, love me? Him, love me? No, not really.
But despite my fears, there were moments I understood I was being irrational. What else could I ever want? What did I expect him to do? He wasn't the type of the person who would show his love to the world or whatever. He was restricted and somewhat… shy? Perhaps.
Unfortunately, I'm not the one to take risks. I wasn't planning to give up on him, on us. I just thought I needed time. And reassurance. But soon I realized how irrational I truly was: because when we are together all these thoughts are gone.
"I love you."
And I always will, until you give up on me. Because I won't. I know this is real, as much as I'm afraid of it. So, I'm not giving up because it's worth it. We're worth it.