Disclaimer: I don't own the series Kim Possible or anything associated with the copyrighted material. I write my stories, alone and abandoned, in the wilds of Colorado to stave off cabin fever.
A/N: This is the 4th in my series of stories where The Almighty spends a few minutes talking with our gang. They are all stand alone one-shots that take place after the series had ended and the fight with the Lowardians is over.
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Conversations 4
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"This has got to be one of my top three worst nightmares," Bonnie Rockwaller moaned as she tried to cover her private areas. She found herself standing at center court in the Middleton High School's gymnasium in only a pair of black panties and bra. The bleachers were packed to capacity with cheering fans and there were two dozen cheerleaders, none of whom she knew and in uniforms she didn't recognize, dancing and cheering in a circle around her, not letting Bonnie escape. Beside not knowing the cheer squad, she also didn't recognize the sweet sweet heavenly music that was playing. It wasn't the normal up-tempo, high energy stuff all cheer squads usually danced to, it was melodious and kind of ethereal; very pleasant to the ear.
Luckily, the raucous fans didn't seem to notice her current state of dress, they weren't pointing and mocking her, but appeared to be more interested in the cheer squad's performance during the break in the game.
"Only one of your top three, Bonnie?" a loud Voice begged with a chuckle over the squad's and the fan's rowdy noise. The Voice didn't seemed to be coming from the gym's loud speaker system, it didn't sound tinny or slightly distorted the way the court announcer's voice usually sounded, but it still seemed to be coming from everywhere and nowhere in particular.
"Yeah, it's at least number two," Bonnie yelled to the rafters to be heard above the din, now unconcerned with her state of undress. She figured if the fans hadn't started laughing at her by now, that this must be a variation of the normal 'naked in public' dream and that the humiliation would come later. "My number one nightmare would be if my sisters Connie and Lonnie, returned to high school, joined the cheer squad and sided with Kim Possible on everything."
Suddenly the fans and the cheerleaders disappeared and Bonnie was left standing at center court, but now she was clad in the pink poof dress from her freshman year and the sweet music was playing at a more tolerable level in the background.
"You do realize that you'll be out of high school once you've finished your one and only summer class," the Voice asked, "and that the class won't start for another week?"
"Yes," Bonnie harshed to the rafters as she held out the hem of the obnoxiously flared eye-sore in disgust. "And I hope you realize that pink poof is like, so three years ago! Hello, that's why I threw this rag away just before it went out of fashion!"
"Yes, I do know that," the Voice answered. "And so does the young homeless woman who dug it out of your garbage can and got a job when she wore it to an interview. She's now a productive member of society, thanks to you."
"What!" Bonnie screeched in indignation. "Somebody stole my dress!"
"As you just said, you threw it away."
"Yeah, well I guess," Bonnie sheepishly muttered. Then it suddenly hit her. "Hey, who are you anyway?"
"You haven't guessed who I am?" the Voice laughed.
"No," Bonnie harshed back in a foul mood at the strange person talking to her. "I'm not in the mood to play any guessing games so just tell me who you are! I was having a wonderful dream about me and Junior, alone on his island when his father was away."
"You do know that you and Junior won't last," the Voice playfully chided. "You'll dump him when he tries to make love to you."
Bonnie knew that would never happen. Junior was big and dumb just like Brick Flagg, but he was also extremely rich so Junior was definitely marriage material in her mind. That was why she was having naughty dreams about her Euro-hunk-of-a-boyfriend. She was going to fly out the next day to join Junior on the island for a few days at which time she was going to bed the boy and seal the deal. If Junior didn't propose after they had made wild passionate love, then she would.
"I'd never dump Junior," the brunette vehemently denied to her unseen antagonist. "He's too rich and handsome to let anything get under my skin. He's at the top of the Food Chain, just like I am. And why would I dump him after he tries to make love to me? If he doesn't make the first move, I will!" Her ire raised another notch as she yelled, "And you still haven't answered my question!"
"You're right, Bonnie," the Voice said with a sigh. "I know what's going to happen between you and Junior because I am God. I had a few spare minutes right now and thought it would be pleasant to talk to you."
"You're... (gulp)... God?" Bonnie was horrified. She had been yelling and arguing with the Almighty for the last few minutes. She was soooo toast.
"Yes I am," the Voice chuckled at the teal-eyed brunette's embarrassment. "And you'll break up with Junior because he'll come up... short, when you try to have sex with him. And I mean really short."
"Uh, if it's not to much to ask, Sir," Bonnie now muttered in total humility, (if it wasn't too late to be humble in the presence of the Almighty) "why would Junior come up short? I mean he's a tall well-muscled hunk and should be packing something special in his pants... if you don't mind me saying so."
"He does have a buff body but it came with a steep price," God answered. "Along with the half-serious weight training regime he never stuck to, he abused steroids to bulk up. Because of that he'll always be an abysmal failure in the bedroom. And because of that and his whiny irritating voice, you'll beg to leave the island in record time."
"Well," Bonnie rationalized, "even if he's fairly small in that department, they say size doesn't matter. I guess I can deal with it just as long as he can perform."
"Junior will also have major performance issues in the bedroom because of the steroids," the Voice informed the brunette. "Believe me, you will dump Junior within an hour of your arrival on the island because of your hot temper and blossoming sex drive."
"I don't think so," Bonnie huffed before she settled down a bit and continued, "but if you say so, then it'll probably happen."
"I know it will happen," God assured the girl once again. "And it's because of your belief in the Food Chain that your troubles will arise. You'll leave Junior and try to find the perfect guy when you head off to college in the fall, but you'll only find disappointment there. None of the men you'll date will meet with your high standards. You must give up that flawed system if you wish to find a lifelong companion and make true friends; the kind of people that will be honest and caring and help you when you need it."
"G-g-give up the Food Chain?" Bonnie insecurely stuttered. "But it's been my life ever since my sisters told me about it."
There was a brief pause before the Voice began to chuckle. The chuckle became a laugh and quickly morphed in to all out roaring guffaw. Finally, God settled down and queried, "Do you know just how ludicrous that sounds? To take advice from the two people that have been making your life a living Hell? Using the very system that they told you about against you?"
"But it's..." Bonnie started to defend her ideas about the Food Chain before she really thought about just how stupid she'd been for following that asinine system; especially if it had come from her sisters who'd used it against her for her entire life. Connie and Lonnie had berated and demeaned her using standards that she'd used at school on everyone else.
Talk about being hypocritical.
"But, what should I do?" Bonnie questioned as she suddenly found herself standing on the open quad of Middleton University, the college she was going to move to in the fall. There were a lot of other students milling about in the sunshine but they didn't seem to notice she was standing there. It was disquieting, to say the least, that she wasn't the focus of attention. After all of the cheerleading and being the Queen Bee of high school, Bonnie was used to being in the spotlight. Here, she was just another student.
She also noticed that she was now dressed conservatively in a knee-length, purple and green plaid skirt and white blouse combination with a sweater loosely tied around her shoulders. The knee-high white socks and penny loafers completed the oh-so out of date, preppy look. (If she'd been clutching books to her chest, she would've been the picture-perfect ideal of a 1950's college student.)
"Isn't it obvious?" God questioned. "You're heading off to college in the fall and need to change your way; to give up on the Food Chain and all that it entails."
Bonnie had planned on attending Middleton University in the fall while her new husband, Junior, accompanied and supported her while he pursued his singing career in America. She suddenly realized that when she began her college life, she would no longer to be the big fish in a small pond. Middleton High School only had a totally of around two or three hundred students and was small enough for her to rule over all of them.
But Middleton University was five times as large as the high school, serving the Tri-City area and beyond, so there was no way she could reign over all of those students, Food Chains rules or no.
"So I have to give up on everything I've held important over the last ten years?" Bonnie questioned, even though God had said as much. "That's going to take some major willpower; I mean to give up on all of it."
"But you can and will do it," the Voice enthused. "And you will have a few friendly faces to help you out when you need them."
"I know Tara is attending Middleton University with me," Bonnie softly pondered. She and Tara planned on sharing an apartment with Junior near the school so she knew she'd have at least one familiar face she could count on. But who else was going to be at the university at the same time? Bonnie just couldn't think of anybody until...
"Ooooh No!" the teal-eyed brunette vehemently denied, suddenly remembering two other recent grads of Middleton High who had mentioned that they would be attending the same college as she was. "Not Possible and Stoppable! They'd never become my friends after all I've put them through over the years!"
"Bonnie," the Voice sounded extremely disappointed, "you know Kim and Ron don't have a malicious bone in their bodies. They may be wary and treat you with kid gloves at first, but you'll quickly become good friends once they see your need for a support system. And don't forget, you'll have Tara there to help persuade them."
"I guess," Bonnie slumped in defeat as she began to rummage through the pockets of her outfit to find her cellphone. Not finding it, she shrugged and said, "I'll text Junior as soon as I wake up, or whatever, to break up with him."
"No you won't," God menacingly said as the sky above the quad and the sweet music suddenly grew dark and ominous. "I can not allow that."
"Okay, okay, I'll call and talk to him on the phone."
"No, I can not allow you to remember any of this conversation," the voice said as the clouds quickly dissipated and and the music returned to its melodiousness. "I will allow you to have a sense of what we've talked about, only to pave the way to the changes you'll need to make in your life."
"Well, that sucks," Bonnie harrumphed.
"Yes it does, but you need the lessons you'll learn from your breakup to become the person you are meant to be. And besides, you know you should always end a relationship with someone in person."
"Yeah, you're right," Bonnie slumped again at that reminder. Brick had sent her a text message when they broke up just after he graduated last year and it hurt her deeply that he didn't do it in person. "But how will I remember what to do if you won't let me remember any of this conversation?"
"As I just said," God sighed at the inattentive girl, "I will let you keep a sense of what we've talked about today. While you won't exactly remember, you'll have a vague feeling of what the right thing to do is."
"Yeah, I guess that'll work," Bonnie grumbled before another question came to mind. "But what should I do about my sisters? They're like, totally evil."
"While I'm sure you see them that way," God chuckled, "I know for a fact that Satan didn't create them, I did." The Voice quickly continued before Bonnie could voice her disagreement that her sisters weren't spawn of the Devil. "I gave you two older sisters to create a little adversity in your life. I'm very disappointed that you haven't realized that and come to terms with that obstacle."
"Yeah, well," the brunette started with a hip jauntily thrust out in defiance, "you try living with Connie and Lonnie for a while and then tell me I should be able to get along with them."
"Perhaps you're right," the Voice laughed out loud. "They are a formidable pair and I'll have to do something about their caustic attitude. Maybe I'll let your mother find out about their terrible grades. They've been partying a bit too hard during the last semester and their Grade Point Averages have drastically dropped."
"Yeah, that might do it," Bonnie evilly smiled. "Mom doesn't tolerate any of us having bad grades."
"Yes, and you should be able to stand up to them when they belittle you," the Voice said as the sweet sweet music swelled in the background. "Well, the time has come to end our little conversation." Bonnie suddenly found herself back in her pajamas and bed as God continued, "Just remember to give up the Food Chain and you'll have a wonderful life, Bonnie. Otherwise, I'll have to do something drastic to you."
"I guess I should thank you for talking to me," Bonnie sighed as she suddenly felt very drowsy and snuggled deeper into her covers, quickly falling back to sleep.
Xxxxxx
Bonnie was in a very good mood as she came down for breakfast and she really couldn't put her finger on exactly why. She didn't think it had anything to do with the wonderful, sweet sweet tune that she woke up humming and couldn't get out of her head. No, that couldn't be it.
Bonnie walked into the kitchen to get some breakfast before she would head back up to her room to finish packing her suitcase and head to the airport for her trip to Senior Island.
Unfortunately, the kitchen was already occupied.
"It's about time you woke up, Bonnie," Connie started in without even a howdy-do. "No matter how much extra beauty sleep you get, it'll never be enough."
"Like all the beauty sleep you two get has ever helped," the teal-eyed brunette snarked back at her sister for the first time in her life. For some reason, she felt she could finally stand up to her two sisters.
"I don't need any beauty sleep," Lonnie quickly snapped back. "I'm already more beautiful than you'll ever be."
"Oh yeah?" Bonnie said with a sly smile as she casually put a slice of bread in the toaster and started it. "You might think you're beautiful but your beauty isn't going to help you much when mom sees your grades. I hear you've both been partying too hard and failed all of your classes this semester." Bonnie wasn't exactly sure just why she said it, but it felt like the the right thing to say.
"That's a lie!" both older girls vehemently denied.
"Is it?" Bonnie begged in amusement as she poured a glass of orange juice to go along with her toast.
"Well, not all of our classes," Connie swiftly corrected her younger sister.
"So you failed some of your classes," Bonnie quickly jumped on that bit of information as she buttered her toast. "Mom will definitely not like that. I'm sure she's not going to like paying for the classes you're going to have to retake. She might even pull you out of college and make you two get jobs."
"I... we..." Lonnie sputtered before she let out an anguished grunt and stomped out of the kitchen to her bedroom. Connie let out an anxious 'Eep" with tears welling in her eyes before she scurried after her sister.
Bonnie smugly took a sip of her orange juice as she thought about getting out the peanut butter to add a little extra something for her normal, plain breakfast. She didn't know where she'd heard about her sister's grades, and she really didn't care as long as it kept them off her back.
Xxxxxx
Senor Senior Senior and his son, Senor Senior Junior, met Bonnie as she got off the airplane. The elderly Senior made sure his son and prospective daughter-in-law (a prospect he was anxious to see come to fruition since his son wasn't very intelligent and had practically no other prospects) were headed back to the island before he boarded his private helicopter to continue his journey to check out another possible hobby.
Evil hadn't panned out the way he'd hoped it would, especially with both Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable recently stepping up to defeat the Lowardians. They were now an extremely formidable team that Senior knew he could never hope to best, so it was time to move on. Maybe stamp or coin collecting would be a more fulfilling and enjoyable hobby. (But Senor Senior Senior would continue to study the art of the Evil Laugh. He could always enjoy an evil snicker whenever he purchased a rare coin or stamp.)
Like the gentleman he was raised to be, Junior escorted Bonnie to her room after landing on the island and left her to unpack. He went to his room to change into his bathing suit while Bonnie donned hers.
They met outside by the pool and quickly settled in to adjacent lounge chairs.
"Um, J.?" Bonnie hesitantly began, not knowing if she should carry out her plan or not. It was a simple plan. She would bed Junior and claim to be pregnant, even if she wasn't. When she did, Junior would undoubtedly propose marriage, making her an honest woman. (In theory at least since she obtained the proposal through devious means.)
Bonnie knew the time was right for her to get pregnant right now since she had stopped taking her birth control pills over a month ago and had been keeping track of her menstrual cycle.
Being married to Junior would bring all the riches and luxury she'd been wishing for her entire life. She knew she was born to wed a rich guy and live happily ever after but something in the back of her mind was niggling at her to drop Junior before they took the next step in their relationship. That was why she was hesitant. Bonnie wanted it, but she also somehow knew she wasn't meant to be with Junior.
"Yes, my darling Bonnie," Junior answered, not moving a muscle while trying to optimize his tanning time. It was late in the afternoon so the sun's rays weren't the best for trying to keep his healthy golden glow.
"Um," the brunette stalled a bit before she decided to go for it. "When do you think we should get married? Can we do it tomorrow?"
"Married?" Junior queried. He raised his head a bit and pulled his stylish sunglasses up to look over to his guest. "Do you really want to get married so soon?"
"Well, I..." Bonnie faltered a bit. Something in the back of her mind was telling her that Junior wasn't the man she should be marrying. But his father was one of the five richest people in the world so marrying into the family was the way to attain her goals.
"Oh," Junior squealed in delight, his over-joyous, noxious voice grated on her nerves, "father would be so happy if we were to get married right away! He has been so worried recently that I would not be able to find the proper girl to be my wife!"
Bonnie let out a sigh of relief. Her plan was working perfectly. Now all she needed to do was to get pregnant by Junior and his father couldn't object to their getting married. Bonnie knew Senor Senior was first and foremost a gentleman, and would never throw a pregnant girl out into the street; especially if the baby was a grandchild of his. Getting pregnant at such a young age would be a sacrifice, but it would also be well worth it for the riches and security she'd receive for the rest of her life.
And yet, the plan felt so incredibly wrong.
"I'm glad your father will be pleased with our marriage," Bonnie cooed as she moved over to Juniors lounge chair and snuggled up next to him. "Why don't we get started on the honeymoon right now since your father isn't here on the island."
The teal-eyed brunette slithered her hand down the tanned, toned muscular body of Junior and slipped it into his European-style swimsuit. She groped around trying to find the prize hidden in the skimpy swimwear but was very disappointed when she discovered Junior's package was a whole lot smaller than Brick Flagg's had been. She and Brick had fooled around some until she discovered that his 'wee willy' was wickedly small. (And probably for the same reason Junior's wasn't very... manly. Brick's prick had barely been the size of a four year old's.)
"Oh, Bonnie," Junior's enthusiastic but grating voice scratched at her nerves, "that feels so nice! You may even make me, as you American's say, get a woody! I have never had one of those before!"
"What?" Bonnie yelped in confusion. "You've never had an erection? "
"Why, no I have not," Junior said, shaking his head. "The doctors have told me it is because of the medicines I have been taking to build and maintain my muscle-type body shape." He flexed his right bicep and placed a kiss on the bulging mass of muscle. "They told Father and me that I would never be able to have children, but that is a small price to pay to be fabulously handsome... which is also what is needed for my singing career."
Bonnie quickly pulled her hand from Junior's swimsuit and wiped it on the towel he was laying on. She felt extremely nauseous. Not only was her plan falling to pieces, especially if Senior knew about his son's infertility, but Junior's whiny voice was grating on her nerves more than ever.
"Are you telling me that we can never have kids?" Bonnie growled as she swiftly got up off the lounge and glowered over the boy. "That you can't even satisfy my needs?"
"Well," Junior nonchalantly shrugged, "I suppose I could possibly put my finger in you for stimulation if you would like, but that would ruin my manicure." He held his right hand up and proudly stared at his perfect cuticles.
"That's it Junior," the brunette practically hollered. "I going home and I never want to see you again!" Bonnie could put up with not having sex with Junior, she could always find some stud to satisfy her, but his preening and whiny voice had just snapped her resolve to wed the idiot. She stomped back into the mansion, up to her room and quickly got dressed. Then she started to pack her bag, just tossing everything in. She hadn't unpacked much so she quickly finished.
"But Bonnie my beloved," Junior whimpered as he chased her around the bedroom. "I thought you wanted to get married? We could make beautiful music together and become a pop sensation duo!"
"Not on your life," Bonnie huffed as she stomped out of the room, bag in hand. "You may be rich and buff, but I need more than that in my life! And besides, you voice sounds like you're strangling a cat whenever you talk, let alone sing! You are such a loser! Why, you're a even bigger loser that Ron Stoppable!" She thought about that for a second before she said, "No, I take that back. Ron Stoppable is not a loser. He might dress like a slob and eat like a pig but he's kind and real and true to his friends. You on the other hand, are a snobbish, self absorbed baby!"
"You are comparing me to Kim Possible's sidekick?" Junior indignantly begged. "I am much better than him... even when he had a decent haircut and wore stylish clothes. And besides, he can not set you up in the lap of the luxury like I can."
"There's more to a relationship than money and looking good together, Junior," Bonnie vehemently barked. She didn't know where this was all coming from but she honestly believed it for some reason. She looked around and asked, "Now, are you going to take me home or do I have to swim all the way to America?"
Senior Senior Junior led the highly irate girl over to the hidden grotto where his getaway speed boat was moored. Bonnie didn't say another word during the entire trip to the mainland. She didn't even say anything during the ride to the airport or when he bought her a ticket back to Middleton.
When they arrived at the departure gate, Bonnie finally spoke up. She turned on him and said, "I know you, Junior, and I can tell you right now that I won't be swayed with flowers or any other gifts you send me. Just forget about it and try to straighten out your life. You're never going to be a pop star, you don't have the voice for it, and you shouldn't follow your father into a life of crime, either."
"But what should I do?" Junior asked in a bit of a panic. "All I have ever wanted was to become a pop sensation. If I can not do that..."
"I don't know," Bonnie sighed as she thought it over. "The only thing I can tell you is to get over yourself and grow up. You can't rely on your father for everything so you'll need to take care of yourself first. I wish you well."
With that, Bonnie turned and boarded her plane, looking forward to the fall and the start of college with Tara.
And maybe a few new friends.
-30-
A/N: That's all for this one folks. Someone suggested that I continue this with one-shots of Killigan, Dementor and Shego but I'm getting bored with the concept and need to get back to the other stories I'm working on.