Hey guys ! I've been working on this for some time now.
It's a bit different to the planned out Sian exit but not majorly :)
I just wanted to change the storyline a bit haha. It was meant to only be a one shot but i got carried away so i'll spread it out over a couple of chapters. Anywayss Hope you like it
Summary: Set as Sian finds out Sophie cheated on her with Amber...
*quick background update* Sophie, ridden with guilt, admits to Sian that Amber came onto her when she was away. So Sian kicked off and 'fell out' with Amber to put it mildly haha. BUT as always, she failed to tell the whole story. Dun dun Dunnnn... :P
Sophie still proposed but not out of guilt. She never actually falls for Amber.
Lyrics are from a variety of beautiful songs. The first few are from an AMAZING gorgeous song by a girl called Geneva Lane. If you watched x factor 2010, she was in the Girl Band Belle Amie briefly
It's called 'Write it down' .
So yeah I recommend you check it out and you can tweet GenevaLane :). She's lovely.
If you're on twitter follow me teambrookesacha
*flashback*
"Don't you dare walk away from me Sian!" She couldn't take it anymore. She had to tell her.
"Urgh Leave me alone Amber" She sped up and pulled her jacket in tighter, shielding herself from the bitter cold.
"I've gotta tell you something!"
"Yeah well, whatever it is, it can wait!"
She picked up her pace. "Believe me, it can't!"
Sian threw a scowl over her shoulder "I'm late for my dress fitting, so yes it can!"
Amber's vile appearance blurred into the foreground as she spotted Sophie coming out the shop with Rosie. She smiled Theres my girl. She looked beautiful, nodding away aimlessly, trying to look interested in what was sure to be useless babble. Bless her. She waved over to her girlfriend, sorry, ahem. 'Fiancée'. Ah it still brought that pathetic grin to her lips. "I'll be back in a bit babe!" she called out
Probably getting lectured on the final plans. Better her than me Muahaha She focused her attention back on the increasingly closer Amber and her grin faded...Crap... She turned and carried on.
"No Sian!" Amber finally caught up and grabbed her wrist, spinning her round. "It can't!" She took a deep breath... this is it "She's got a secret ..."
The blonde huffed and checked her watch. "Who?"
"Sophie!"
"Oh whatever..." She made to turn away but Amber blocked her path "...Move!"
"Did you know your so called 'perfect little 'fiancée's' been LYING TO YA!"
Sophie snapped her head across at the loud shout and froze. Bollocks ! She's not.. oh Shit NOT NOW ... She twisted and started to run over leaving Rosie fixed in place, gaping after her.
"Urh Sophie!" she scowled " OI! Come back! This is important!" She started to trott after her, trying desperately hard not to fall on the cobbles.
Sian turned her attention back to Amber and scoffed disbelievingly.
God that girl is full of shit "Move!"
"I'm not kidding ..."
"Neither am i! To be perfectly honest Amber, I don't care. Move!" She laughed and shoved her out the way and started to walk off.
Sophie eventually caught up came to a halt behind them wheezing. "Amber please, don't!" she puffed out desperately
But the raven girl ignored her. She couldn't take it anymore. She HAD to make her listen... She had to tell her.
"SHE FUCKED ME!"
Sian halted.
Oh my g... Ambers mouth dropped open in surprise... Wow ... she edged slowly round to face the blonde, cautious of her reaction. She wanted to hurt her sure... but if things got violent...
"What?"
"You heard..."
"No..." She smiled and shook her head in denial "Fucked you over you mean... Yep! So stop being a jealous cow and get out my way"
"No! Sian she didn't just kiss me, she's a fucking liar..." Urgh she had to make her see! "She 'fucked me', as in shagged me in a bed; up the wall 'fucked me'!"
The blondes smile faded. No... She wouldn't...She threw her head back in Sophie's direction and frowned, not failing to miss the way she flinched as their gaze met. Surely not.
"And you know what?" Amber continued, sneering venomously, averting her attention once more. " She fucking enjoyed it !"
'Oh whatever," Sian gripped her fists in desperation "Sophie wouldn't even dream of touching you because funnily enough she's got me."
"Yeah...For now... but I think you'll find she would. And she has. Good n hard!"
She wanted to hurt Sophie, just like she'd hurt her. And if that meant tearing Sian from her then so be it. Cos if she couldn't have her, NO ONE could.
Sian started shaking her head, refusing to accept the bullshit spilling from her mouth Lies... all lies.. Jealous cow "Fuck off! You're just jealous."
"Amber stop this now!" Sunitta appeared behind them, joining up with quite the gathered crowd. She reached out to grab her arm but she jerked away "Don't!" She span back to the blonde laughing " Me? Jealous? Mate why should i be jealous... she fucking wants me! She just can't admit it" She pointed to her over Sian's shoulder.
"As if! Urgh how many bleeding times? Get this into your thick little skull! She's MY Fiancée, she loves ME, she fucks ME and she kisses ME! So do the math Amber, cos i'm sure even you can work that one out. She wants ME!" She paused gauging her reaction but her face remained cold...
"And You wana know why? Cos she proposed... TO ME mhmm and you know what that means right... Me for the rest of her life! Not you.. or anyone else ME! So piss off back to your little fairy land, cos were getting married T-O-M-O-R-R-O-W whether you like it or not! " She smirked proudly at the look she received. Maybe its finally sunk in... the damage done. HALLELUJAH!
Mwahaha Sian 1 Amber nil "Go find someone else to wind up, cos i'm done playing" Boom ! She tried to push past but Amber stuck her arm out. Bitch "...I'll say it again shall i ? ... Move or else..."
But Amber wasn't listening. If it weren't for the fact the whole street were watching she'd have smacked her right there and then; She wasn't scared of Sian. Hell no! She was going to ruin the pathetic little blondes entire world in a matter of moments,seconds. But not by thumping her one. Nope... She was better than that; because violence never solved anything right? She smirked. Besides She was far too focused on how to drive that metaphorical knife deeper and deeper. Maximum pain= maximum gain. "She's good in bed... I gotta give you that!"
The crowd sucked in a breath..
"Oh fuck off!" Sian burst out laughing... but Amber could see through it. The doubt was there. "What are ya Amber? 10? God you're pathetic... Sopheh just tell em! Tell em its all lies!"
She grinned and waited, but Sophie didn't speak up... no fleeting denial escaped her lips.
Her smugness faded. She span back to the girl she so loved frowning "Sophie?" But the brunette remained silent, staring solidly at the floor. Refusing to look at her, refusing to see the fear in her eyes.
Hah! "See, she can't even deny it!"
"Shut it!"
Right... Amber cleared her throat awkwardly.
Sian took laboured breaths while she stared at Sophie, trying to ignore the way her stomach twisted with the sickening doubt. It was a feeling she'd become all to familiar with these past few months. It was no stranger to her
"Please tell me it's all lies?"
But Sophie remained silent and started shaking her head as the tears rolled freely down her cheeks. She couldn't admit to it... Not here... not now.
Oh God no... "Tell me it's not true..." She's shaking her head Oh god. "Sophie?" No ..no ... "LOOK AT ME!"
The brunette flinched away; Not used to Sian shouting, let alone screaming. It was a such a vile animalistic sound; So full of pain and anger. It sent shockwaves of guilt crashing to the pit of her stomach, ripping and wrenching at her soul. She felt sick. Sick with the shame. But she couldn't do it... She couldn't bear to see the damage her drunken mistake had caused.
"SOPHIE LOOK AT ME!"
She slowly lifted her head and started shaking. The sight before her was just... heartbreaking. The fear, the panic and doubt just emanating from the blonde was enough to send her crashing over that final edge of control. Seeing her so lost, and knowing she was the cause...
"Tell me Soph..."
"I didn't mean t..."
"TELL ME IT'S NOT TRUE!"
She broke down "I'm so sorry..."
Sian lost it. She burst into tears as a shudder wracked through her entire body. Her whole world collapsing at just 3 little words.
"SO i was right all along...?"
"No...It just happ..."
"You lied to me all this time!"
"No I.."
"You fucking..."She ran at Sophie and pushed her. "How could you!" she started screaming, everything, anything she could in her heart shattering rage as the tears cascaded freely down her cheeks. "You proposed! And you cheated you.. you. y..."
"No Sian.. i"
"You... fucking ...guilty... bitch!" She punctuated every word with a smack, before letting loose. Wanting to hurt her! Wanting to punish her. She clawed away at her skin, screeching, bawling, but a strong pair of arms lifted her up and yanked her away. She tried to fight against them, twisting and flailing in their arms but they wouldn't give. She threw her head back up and screamed out to her. "I LOVED YOU!" as her thoughts drifted to The wedding.. its... tomor... Oh god How could she?
She eventually gave in as she collapsed to the cobbles, losing every last ounce of strength and willpower. She wanted to die. Her world was over. The pair of arms wrapped round her and pulled her to their chest as she sobbed uncontrollably, spilling out the remains of her shattered heart.
"Sophie!" Rosie pulled the brunette away and gripped her shoulders staring on opened mouthed. She hadn't defended herself, she'd just let Sian hit her. She knew she deserved it.
"Is it true?" Rosie asked
"What do you think?" She shrieked. She shrugged her off and tried to move past but an arm blocked her path. Her Dad.
Oh for God's sake.
"Move! Please..." But he held her back "Sian! Listen to me! I'm so sorry!"
"Leave her Sophie... come on..."
"No Dad Move! Please! Let me go... SIAN!"
"Come on... you've done enough"
"No i need to talk to her, i need to explain," She tried to move past " i need to tell her, i need to.. i...i "
I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth...
Rosie pulled her aside and clutched at her cheeks, averting her gaze into her own. "Sophie PLEASE, Come on..."
" i cant.. i have to.."
"No Soph, Please! I know your hurting, but babe you've done the damage. Don't make it worse, please don't make it worse"
She gave in and let them pull her away as her sight went hazy. The sobbing shaking her to the core, smashing its way through her forcing shock-waves of guilt straight to her bleeding heart. But as she was pulled away she managed to catch a glimpse of Amber stood at the side smirking proudly; admiring the fruits of her work. The bitch had ruined her world. The very day before it was due to begin. You fucking filthy Bitch! Her face twisted in rage as she tried to scream out. But the words wouldn't come. Lost in the depths, dying painfully in her throat as she sobbed.
She fell against her dad and buried her head deep into his chest, hiding away from the pain. Rosie let go and in a blur of movement, charged towards Amber, screaming everything under the sun. But she'd switched off. Zoned out to everything but the sound of Sian's sobs somewhere in the distance, blocked off from any feeling but the guilt. the guilt driven by the sound of her Fiancée broken on the floor...
How could Amber do this? How could she have done this to her?
I lie awake...
In the corner of my mind
Don't wana stay
But there is something I should find inside
Sophie:
Shame, deceit, disgust ... guilt.
I sit still on my bed... no...on OUR bed, cradling my knees to my chest as i peer vacantly over the top. A empty shell you'd probably say. You wouldn't be wrong. I'm there in the room. Lights are on...But no ones home.
I'm just drained and exhausted, a lost cause.
It's been a few hours since Amber so kindly broke the news after she'd promised she wouldn't. I thought she'd gotten over me... that WE'D gotten over it, put it behind us. It was a stupid, stupid mistake, I couldn't have stressed that enough, but how foolish was i eh? To think for even a second that she'd keep it between us; forget it ever happened. I'd put ALL my trust and faith into her. BITCH... I honestly thought she'd let me have my happy ending.. but Now I'm the fool and look where it's got me...
I'd told her I felt nothing for her, that it was Sian I loved... But you forget don't you? Emotions don't always work both ways. How could i have been so naive? I shoulda' seen it coming but that's me all over... Blissfully unaware... Nothing ever goes right in my life. It should have been my happy ending! The night before the start of my life; together with the girl I love... gone. Thrown away with her big gob.
Its like they say: Play with fire... and sooner or later you get burnt
Sian had arrived back at the house some time ago to begin packing up her stuff. But she'd demanded neither I, nor anyone say a word. Not that i'd listened!
She'd stormed into the room, ignoring my shouts, my pleads for forgiveness. She wouldn't listen. Not to a single word. She'd grabbed various items and flung them into the cases I'd become so used to seeing filled. All the holidays and all the breaks, she'd certainly got her money's worth. Only this time they won't come back. Won't be unpacked. She's packing away any trace of her existence. Any trace of us.
It's left me with nothing to do but sob uncontrollably on the bed while i sit and watch. Watch my fianc... No ...Ex?... No! I can't say it, can't bear to admit it's really happening... She's NOT going! No... she's just, she's jus...
Urgh who am I kidding? I'm watching her walk out of my life... she's going to leave me.
I lost my way
But you brought me back to life
There is no more to say
I think this is goodbye
I'm crying hysterically, but I don't even know what to feel anymore. I just don't have the energy TO feel...
It's the worst experience imaginable.
Your heart goes numb, blocking out the pain as you sit and stare, Watch the way the way they move, the way they refuse to acknowledge you're there.
But ultimately, as you watch the love of your life leave. You notice things you've never seen before when you realise this is the last time... the last chance.
She's my everything and tomorrow would have been the start of our lives! Tomorrow was supposed to be it. The Big day; the day that finalised it all, the day that she became my gorgeous, beautiful wife.
Not anymore... She's going to leave. Over what? A half truth, a mistake. She believes exactly what she's been told to believe, but she won't hear me out. Oh no... Suddenly I'm not worth the effort. I'd probably understand if it had been something I'd played a conscious part in, but it wasn't. Instead one built on deceit and jealousy. Fuelled by drink and a multitude of lies and unrest. Yet there's nout I can do. I can't take back the past. It's set in stone.
No you never...Hear me out
You just turn and walk away
Maybe I should write it down
Is it better off that way?
It's mad. 7 years of friendship and over a year n half together, and yet I make one small... okay okay, one Very big and STUPID mistake and it's as if it meant nothing. As if WE were nothing. I thought she loved me, well at least enough to hear me out. But She's going and she won't look back.
Just watching her now, I'm left broken, shaking with the guilt. Because hell, just the mere sight of her sends shockwaves of tingles through my entire body. I love her... More than anything on this world. No scratch that ... she IS my world.
She's beautiful, even when she can't bear to look at me, she's beautiful. She could walk into a room with tears streaming down her face, no makeup, nothing to hide behind and she'd STILL be beautiful. And now I'm gonna lose her.
It was only this morning that she'd called me beautiful, kissed me and held me tight. Now... She won't even look at me, can't stand the sight of me. But I still can't bring myself to tear my eyes away. I'm captivated by her like i always have been. It's almost as if I'm savouring these last few moments. I can't lose her... i just ca... My eyes start to fill as i catch sight of the glint from her ring and once again my stomach plummets. She's still wearing it...
And it tears me apart
To know it didn't work
Maybe I should write it down
But I, I can't find the words...
I'd saved for weeks to buy her that. Had to get advances on my wages and yet MORE loans from my dad to afford it. But I'd managed it. Why? Because i love her. Simple enough. I'd die for her, but she won't let me explain. Whenever i try to get her attention, she turns away, puts her ipod in, holds her hand up, ignores me, anything to stop me saying a word. She'd heard enough.
Hear me out!
Don't turn and walk away!
Maybe i should write it down
Is it better off that way?
*Normal P.O.V*
"Sian please!" Sophie tried leaping up off the bed as Sian bent to pick up the last suitcase and started to drag it to the stairs, she grabbed her hand but Sian ripped it away, trying to ignore the flutters it sent to her heart. Stupid stupid heart.
"Do NOT touch me" She stormed out, dragging the case slowly along. Fucking hell why did i bring so much stuff
"Sian! Don't go!" She darted after her
"PISS OFF"
"Babe, please"
"Do NOT Babe me!"
"Please! It's not what you think"
"Go to hell Sophie"
"Please Sian... Just..." She couldn't take it any longer she grabbed hold of her waist, "JUST HEAR ME OUT!"
Sian dropped the case and span back, pushing her off as she glared furiously. " NO! FUCK YOU SOPHIE! You have NOTHING to say to me..."
"JUST Listen!"
They screamed desperately over one another
"...Do you hear me?"
"PLEASE"
Sian lifted her hand and in her desperation to make her understand; slapped her hard across the cheek "NOTHING!"
The moment her hand made contact, they'd frozen.
Locked in position as Sian stared on open mouthed, horrified at the sudden loss of self control; the evidence of her rage. She'd hit her. Really hit her. She'd never EVER done that before...
Sophie slowly lifted her trembling fingers to the cheek. She flinched. It Stung, ached, scorched with the result of Sian's uncontained anger.
How could she have done this to her? Look what she'd forced her to become...
And it tears me apart
To know it didn't work
Maybe i should write it down
But i, i can't find the words...
"I...i... i'm sor..." Sian opened and closed her mouth in shock. She was appalled, horrified at herself... but she couldn't apologise... not after what she'd done. She sucked in a shaky breath, then did the one thing she does best. She turned and bolted.
"No Sian WAIT!" Sophie called desperately...But she'd gone...
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
I'd wandered back into my room, collapsing to the floor in a fit of anguish. Nothing to do but let the emotions engulf me once more. Shrouding and shutting me down to the core...
Rosie had found me there not long after and had rushed to my side, cradling me, trying to console me. But i don't want it. Don't want the wasted breath. I deserve the pain; the heartache; every last painful thud.
But I don't have the energy to fight against her.
"Why did you do it?"
It's a simple enough question. But the answer... That would take some explaining. "I..." I let out a shaky sob " i.. don't... know ..." it's a lie... but as they say .. the truth hurts. The bitch had spiked my drink and i'd blacked out. I can't even remember getting into bed with her. But it had happened, and i can't take it back.
"You must know... it takes two to tango"
Urgh Now really isn't the time for humor
"Unless it's rape..." I scoffed
"But it wasn't... you got into bed with her Soph"
"Yeah... As everyone keep fucking telling me! !" God it's Like they think i need fucking reminding. I pulled away and glared at my sister.
"Then why the hell did you do it?"
"I didn't..."
"Well She says you did!."
"NO! I mean... i did But, not on purpose..."
Rosie scoffed disbelievingly... "I'm not being funny Soph but you can't just shag someone by accident... "
"I didn't do it by accident! URGH"
"You're not making any sense... When did it happen?"
"About 2 months ago..."
"So while Sian was away?"
I nodded i feel guilty enough as it is ...
"And you've kept it secret this LONG?" Another nod... "Jesus Christ Sophie... I thought you loved her?"
"I do! God Rosie.. as if you even need to ask that! I love her more than anything on this planet! We're supposed to be getting married TOMRORROW remember?"
"SO why the fucking hell did you cheat!"
Urgh... I couldn't contain it any longer. The secret had to come out. "I DIDN'T! HOW MANY TIMES? She spiked my drink Rosie... she FUCKING SPIKED-MY-DRINK. I didn't choose to do it... Hell no... I wouldn't touch her with a barge pole but it happened. I didn't know what I was doing, where I was or why I was doing it, I was COMPLETELY and UTTERLY out of it... But next thing I know, I wake up and I'm in her bed, and I don't remember a BLOODY THING. I can't stand the girl, let alone in that way. So you know what... she as good as raped me cos I sure as hell didn't give my consent."
Rosie frowned
"What? I'm absolutely REVOLTED that i went near her!"
"then why ke..."
"Look... Shitfaced outta my mind does NOT COUNT... i was not of sane mind and you know that. Now I'm paying for it! The love of MY life is gone... God knows where and i can't do anything! So there you happy now? That explain it enough?" I broke down into another wave of tears as Rosie stared on open mouthed. Can i blame her? I'm such a fucking mess. She pulled me against her chest and just cradled me, murmuring soothing, gentle, pointless words. I know she doesn't have a clue what she's saying, but I don't care. Just being there is enough.
*Normal P.O.V*
Rosie closed her eyes and gently rocked her, hushing and soothing. Trying to sound encouraging while inside she was seething. She was gona kill Amber...
And the tears come streaming down on your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
"Have you tried explaining to Sian?" She gently rubbed her back
"Have I tried? Rosie i've been doing nothing but ... she just... w.. woul..wouldn't listen!" She stumbled, trying to bite back the tears
"Can you blame her... Babe...Far as she's concerned she just found out you cheated the day before you're due to get married..."
"But i didn't cheat!"
"You still slept with her Soph..."
She dropped her head in shame... Rosie was right. No amount of apologising was going to change that...
"I need to tell her... She can't leave me... not without knowing not.. not" She broke down again
"Hey hey shhh" Rosie cradled her tighter
"I cant lose her Rosie... I just can't!"
"I know babe... i know" She rubbed her sides as she tried to think of a way... any possible way to make Sian see. Because she knew no matter how much pain Sophie had caused, she knew that they were made for each other. There was no one else she'd rather see her sister with. No one else could light up her world the way Sian did. And blow it if she was gona let them tear that apart.
"I can't let her go Rosie... knowing that she'll never know the truth..."
"Heyy shhh..."
"I just dont know how to tell her... she wouldnt listen and i couldnt get it out... and i tried and and.."
"Shhh hey calm down babe" Rosie cradled her head and pressed soft kisses to her temple. "She's coming back, don't worry babe "
"How can you know? Rosie She's probably half way to southport by now.." She sucked in a shaky breath as the realisation dawned on her. She was gone...
"What? Without her cases? I doubt it. Just calm down babe" She stroked some hair out of her eyes and pressed a kiss to her temple. "She'll be back and then you can try again..."
"But i dont know what to say... I'll mess it up, or she wont listen or .. or..." She trailed off and sighed, snuggling into her sister further. She had absolutely no idea how to win her back.
Rosie sighed and closed her eyes. Taking a moment to just relax with her sister, be close to her. She wanted to help her, wanted to shower her with advice, comforting words but truth be told... she was just as lost as her sister. She needed a way... an idea.. a script of knowledge... a lett... Omg THATS IT She snapped her eyes open. An idea had hit her, a really fucking amazing idea. Man im a genius ! "Why don't you write it down?"
Sophie pulled back snapped her gaze back up. "What like in a letter?"
"Yeah! That way she has to see it don't she? She can't walk away from it so she'll read it! ...Unless she rips it up of course, which would be REALLY stupid.. but then i cant realleh do m..."
"Oh my God ... Rosie that's brilliant!" She squealed hopefully and threw her arms around her neck, cutting off her rambling.
"Alright alright..." Rosie laughed "It's just a suggestion ... Might not work"
"Worth a shot though right?"
"Mhmm, I'll leave you too it yeah?" She smiled encouragingly as the panic washed over Sophie's expression. She didn't want to be alone... not now... Rosie gently pushed some hair out of the younger girls face. "You need some space for this letter to mean anything. And you can't do that with me hovering over yeh can yeh?"
"Spose..."
"Look" She smiled warmly "I'll go down, keep an eye out for if she gets back. But if you need me just shout and i'll come straight up. I promise" She pressed a soft kiss to her cheek as Sophie smiled.
"Thankyou" I dont deserve it....
"Just take your time yeah... get it all out onto the page. And bring it from the heart!" She prodded her chest playfully raising her eyebrows. "Cos i know what your like!"
Sophie let out a small chuckle. Yup... any sign of expressing her emotion and she'd switch off. Freeze up. Pathetic really.
"If she truly loves you half as much as she made out, she'll read it... and she'll know."
Sophie's heart melted. Her sister was just...amazing. "Thank you"
The older girl smiled and hugged her tighter "Anytime sis... oh and a little tip..."
Aha.. knew there was more "Mmm?"
" when you give it to her..."
"Yeah?"
"snog the face off her."
Oh dear lord ... She burst out laughing "Rosie!"
"What?"
"She can't even look at me, let alone hang around enough to do the dirty" She laughed
"Oh shutup !" She grinned " Look! I don't care if she tries to push you off... Fight back, keep her in place, i duno.. just do somet... Cos i promise you this ... If that's your parting gift, and THEN she reads your letter... She'll come crawling back. No doubt about it" She smiled and gave her a last reassuring hug. "I love you Sophie"
She pulled away and pushed off from the floor, pausing in the doorway as she glanced back a final time.
It hurt... seeing her sister so broken, so guilty. She could see she hadn't meant to do it. She believed her.
Hell if she, Rosie Webster, could see how sorry she was, then surely Sian could. But there was nothing she could do. It was their problem and theirs to solve. She just hoped to God her plan would work...
She took a deep breath and smiled. Sophie could do it... she just knew it "Good luck"
She blew her a parting kiss before she turned and left her to it.
Come on Sophie... you can do it
The younger smiled and took a deep breath, drying her tears...
This was it. All she had left to truly express the truth... To win her back
Here goes...
She grabbed a pen and paper and began her note...
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you