I thought I would be a horrible person and wrote this fore y'all. It's set in season 7 before "the incident" aka when Shawn and Juliet broke up. It does not follow the show protocol so beware. Enjoy! :)

I'm Sorry

She couldn't believe this was happening. No, it's a misunderstanding. Somebody screwed up their names and told them this fake news. He wasn't, he couldn't be gone. She's in the midst of a nightmare. She'll wake up all sweaty and out of breath and he'll be right there. There to comfort her and tell her everything was going to be okay, that he wasn't going anywhere and it was just a dream. That... That he loved her more than anything. Then he would wrap her up in a bear hug and whisk her into another deep sleep.

Juliet was having a rough day. Carlton decided to take the day off and dump all if his overdue paperwork on her. So lets just say she wasn't in the best of moods when Shawn decided to stop by.

"Hey, Jules!" Shawn greeted as he stopped in front of her desk.

"Not now, Shawn, I have a lot of work to do," Juliet told him. But it was Shawn, he's not going anywhere.

"Oh c'mon sweetheart take a break. Let's go get linner as I like to call it. The time in between lunch and dinner. How bout that new Chinese place you wanted to try down on Main Street?" He said with a persuasive grin on his face.

"No, I have to get this done. I'm only a little ways away then we can go home and watch a movie ok? I'll take the rest of the day off and it'll be just me and you."

"But Julessssss," Shawn whined. And then when he saw the look on her face he nodded his head. "Fine. But I get to pick!"

"Whatever Shawn."

It hurt to think about it. When she still had him. When she could call him hers and kiss him and hug him and do anything she wanted. But she can't anymore, because she was stupid and idiotic. She was being selfish and now he's gone and it's all her fault. If only she could go back and undo all of it, take back everything she said and make it right again. If only she hadn't blown up at him which caused him to leave. Why did she have to scream like that? It's not like he meant to. Oh the things she said to him. Her final words were those of hate and anger. It's funny, because she could never hate Shawn, no she loved him too much to ever hate him. And somewhere deep down she knew he knew that, but with all the crying and self hatred she wasn't thinking straight. He was the light of her life, he could always brighten up her day when she was feeling dark. But not anymore, she ruined the chance of that happening ever again. The chance of marrying him, having his children, them sitting in lawn chairs as they watch their grand kids run around in their backyard. Growing old with him and still being madly in love, because that's how strong their love was. All of that is gone now. It vanished in the blink of an eye, because of her rookie mistake, her idiotic move changed her life in the worst possible way.

"Are you done yet?" He asked impatiently.

"For the seventeenth time no! It's been 5 minutes!"

"Ugh. I wanna go homeeeee."

"Them go! I'm not keeping you here."

"But I want to go home with my girlfriend!"

"Well you're not gonna anytime soon, so might as well leave now."

"No I'm waiting for you," he said with a slight frown. Juliet sighed, wondering how they ever came to be. He drove her up a wall everyday, but yet she couldn't love another human being more.

"Alright then, might as well put yourself to work and grab a pen and some paper."

"Do I have to?" He whined yet again.

"If you want to stay then yes Shawn."

"Can I just draw instead?" Juliet reluctantly nodded her head yes. Shawn did a mini victory then grabbed randoms sheets of paper and turned them on the back. About 30 minutes later Shawn had colored on all the papers he found and Juliet paid no attention. When he was finally done, he showed her all of his drawings. When she finally realized what the papers actually were, she screamed.

"Ahhhhhhhh!"

"Oh crap Jules I'm so so so so sorry! I swear I didn't mean to! I didn't even realize..."

The next part. It's the worst part. It's when she lies to him and makes him leave. She can hardly bare the guilt, the pain, the anger at herself and her stupidity. She had been so angry she didn't even stop and think about what she was saying or worse how it effected Shawn. The man she loved, the love of her life. Technically the only man she had ever truly fallen in love with. Gah why was she such an idiot! He apologized but noooooo you had to just keep on blabbin. Your the reason he's gone... The reason he... Died. It felt like a knife in the heart when she finally admitted the truth to herself. Her Shawn was dead and he was never coming back. She would never get to see him in the morning with his bed head and his not quite coherent face. She would never have him laying with his head in her lap while she stroked his hair. She would never see that gorgeous smile or hear up his witty remarks again. His references, the ones she would never quite understand but still laugh because he was the most adorable thing she'd ever seen. He would never stop by the station with a lame excuse as to why he was there, even though everyone even Lassie knew it was because he wanted to see her. She would never get to kiss those soft pink lips again or be incase in his strong arms. Her eyes filled with ears when this all dawned on her at once. She would never see her beautiful baby boy ever again. And it was her fault, it was all because of her. She sobbed out loud and through a pity party for herself them and there.

"No! God dang it Shawn! You screw up everything! You can never just sit there and do nothing, no you have to be involved. You have to get the last word and everything has to be your way. Your the most childish, selfish man I've ever met! I don't even know why I date you anymore honestly. I hate you! All you do is crack jokes about everything and ruin other people's lives! You only care about yourself and I'm sick of it!" Juliet screamed with absolute rage. She could see the obvious hurt in his eyes but didn't pay any attention to it.

"Jules I-"

"No you know what just get out of here! I don't even want to look at you right now. Do you know how long this took me huh?" She said pointing at the orange stained paper. "7 hours Shawn! 7! And now it's all garbage, wasted because of your selfish demeanor. So just get out. Leave me alone, don't call or text and as a matter a fact go stay with Gus tonight because I don't want to have to do deal with you again today." Juliet finished with a fire in her eyes that could probably burn water. Shawn just stood there shocked. Unsure of what to do. Completely numb and still trying to process what just came out of her mouth, trying to process that it did. Once he got is composure back he felt a mix of emotions. First guilt, them anger, then sadness, then he felt weak, then hurt and finally anger again. He stormed out of the SBPD with a rage. He then hopped on his bike and drove away not even bothering to put on his helmet.

Her sobs soon turned into full out bawling. Her heart broke into a million pieces and her knees gave out. She lie there crying on the concrete ground while the chief, holding back her own tears but not doing such a great job, broke the news to the whole department. Everyone was in shock and once they recovered, if they weren't crying they were sending looks of pity Juliet's way. Just an hour ago, she had the best boyfriend in the world. She was the luckiest woman alive and now. Now she was left alone. He had been hit by a drunk driver and thrown off the bridge. She just couldn't believe it. How her whole life could crumble around her within that short period of time. How would she do this? How could she survive without Shawn? Oh her beloved Shawn.

Juliet jolted awake. Her whole body drenched in sweat. At first she thought it was real. That Shawn was gone, but then she felt a hand on her shoulder and she looked to the left. He wore a concerned look. She could've died with joy right then and there. He was here. It was just a dream. Shawn was alive. Shawn was alive!

"You okay Jules?" He asked, his voice laced with sleep.

"Yes I am now. I love you Shawn. Never leave me."

"Of course not why would you eve-" but he didn't have the chance to finish his sentence because she tackled him with a passionate kiss. She hated nightmares, but she sure loved this man.

HA! Gotcha. I could never do that. Uh uh. Kill Shawn? Nonononon. Well hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you think :) and yes I reported it. Someone had a good point on the anger level there.