"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside while still alive. Never surrender" Tupac Shakur

He heard Claire enter without looking up from what he was doing. Myrnin knew it was her. He recognizes her breathing, her footsteps, her scent. And everything right now was just screaming Claire. He wanted to look at her, to see her beauty. At the same time, he didn't, because looking at her would just remind him.

She chose Shane.

Myrnin buried himself into the working, pushing himself more and more to finish it. It was only when he heard an almost inaudible sob that he span to face Claire. She was looking down at some random book, pretending to be reading but Myrnin knew her too well.

She'd been crying. Her eyes were bloodshot and there was a remaining tear track glistening along her face.

"Claire, what's wrong?" he asked, leaning along the table to look at her. He didn't care that he'd left an experiment half finished and potentially dangerous to check on her. Science had always been the love of his life, until he met her. He would drop anything and everything for her if he needed to.

"Nothing," She whispered, her voice breaking. She knew it sounded half-hearted because what was wrong was definitly not nothing. Myrnin resisted the urge to chuckle because it was such a typical Claire answer. She didn't want the attention he gave her, she didn't want to worry him.

He leaned over and slammed the book that she was reading closed. She still didn't look up from the book, only confirming to Myrnin that she had something to hide from him. A teardrop fell onto the closed book now, then another, shortly followed by another. In a matter of seconds, the teardrops became a waterfall and Myrnin was holding her in his arms while she sobbed and he wondered what had gotten her so upset.

If it was Shane, he would kill him.

"Tell me what's wrong, little bird," he asked her gently, using the nickname that he knew she secretly loved, "Is it Shane?"

She shrugged and wiped her eyes. She felt Myrnin tense up. His muscles subconciously getting ready to hurt Shane if he had hurt Claire in anyway.

"What did he do, Claire?"

"It's half my fault too,"

"I doubt that," Myrnin growled, "Did he hurt you? What did he say?"

"I think I'm pregnant,"Claire burst out.

Myrnin had gotten her a pregnancy test. She'd thanked him and rushed to the bathroom to take it. He waited outside in the lab for her, pouring himself a glass of bourbon and downing it quickly before he tasted the bitterness.

He put his head in his hands. How could this happen, to little Claire of all people. His little Claire, especially. She was so young, so innocent to give her life up too another person.

If she was pregnant everything would change. She'd have to take time off from work, she'd grow closer to Shane. They'd have a family together and everyone knew that Claire put her family before anything else. Myrnin would be put on the back burner again, as he always was.

God damnit, he scolded himself. Why didn't he just tell her what he felt? He could have prevented this, they could have been happy together. Claire would have became a vampire and they could have spent eternity together.

Fear. That was why he didn't tell her. He was terrified of rejection from her. Not because he didn't think she loved him, because they both knew that Claire loved Myrnin very much. No, it was because he was scared she wouldn't love him enough. That she wouldn't love him enough to leave Shane and her friend, she wouldn't love him enough to spend forever with him.

That kind of thinking required another glass of bourbon, he concluded. He bit his lip and thought about what he would do. He only looked up when a shadow changed the light around him, telling him that Claire was standing in the door.

The look on her face told him everything without him even asking. It was positive.

Myrnin watched her leave, strolling out the lab on weak legs. He felt so selfish. All he'd cared about was himself. How he'd felt, when Claire was going to have the biggest changes of all. It was going to effect her more than anyone and all he could think about was how he would never get to be with Claire.

"Don't give up on her," Amelie announced from the corner of the room.

"Why not?" he asked, turning to face his oldest friend, "I have no chance with her,"

"If you believe that, you are a fool,"

"Then I'm a fool..." Myrnin agreed sadly, turning to clean up the half-completed experiment from earlier on. Amelie watched him clean for a while, frowning to herself. He was hyper-aware that she was staring at him but he didn't bother to react. It was annoying the hell out of him, but he wouldn't give Amelie the rise he knew she was waiting for.

"You underestimate both the girl and yourself," she told him firmly before spinning, her white dress flying everywhere as she stormed out silently.

Only once the portal slammed closed, did he shed a single tear.

"What have you done? You dirty bloodsucker!" There's a voice Myrnin recognized. He cringed at the sort of the whiny, rough complaints of Claire's annoying - and very human, he noted angrily - boyfriend.

"I have no idea what your talking about," Myrnin replied without even looking up from his papers that he was signing on behalf of the founder.

"I'm talking about the fact that my girlfriend came home last night in floods of tears," Shane hissed through his teeth, "And guess where she had just come from? Oh yes, Myrnin's".

Shane stood right next to Myrnin, his fist clenched as if he could hurt Myrnin. They both knew that Myrnin could and would hurt Shane very easily. As much as Myrnin hated the human boy, he had to admit that he was was either very brave or very stupid - a mix of both perhaps? - to stand up for Claire against a vampire. It was days like these where Myrnin almost felt bad for loving Claire - almost.

"I'm supposing that she did not tell you why she was upset, then?" Myrnin asked, clearly quite amused at the whole ordeal.

"No she didn't, so get talking," Shane growled. Myrnin saw red for a second upon hearing Shane's foul manners, but let him go since Claire liked him and Myrnin was not going to make her upset, which was inevitable if he killed the boy.

"She's pregnant" Silence, then. Shane's jaw dropped open and he stuttered for a while before finally closing him mouth and just taking it in.

"No, I could be a Dad," Shane finally mumbled out. Myrnin didn't understand why he was tlling him this, he wasn't a therapist and he definitly couldn't care less that Shane was upset. What did he mean 'he couldn't be a Dad'. It was just tough, wasn't it? He would have to deal with it.

"You'd better not hurt her" I growled, "You'd better not break her heart, even a little bit,"

"She'd be better off without me," That was true, but for Claire's sake, Myrnin didn't admit it.

"You clearly don't realize how much she loves you," I told him firmly. As he looked at me, Myrnin saw a flash of red envy and anger. He'd striked a soft point, had he? Claire's love for Shane. How could he doubt her love? She dropped everything - including Myrnin, himself - for Shane when he needed her and now, when she needed him, he 'couldn't do it'. God, that child frustrated him.

Shane growled back, "Well you don't realize how much she loves you, so we're even!" Myrnin didn't say anything. Was it true? Did Claire really love him more than he knew? So it seemed, from the words of both Amelie and Shane.

God, he hoped it was.

Claire wore a baggy grey top. She knew that Eve hated it but not much fit anymore. She was nearly 3 and a half months into the pregnancy and she had yet to tell her two best friends, Michael and Eve about it.

She was nervous. They were best friends, so she knew that they'd support her. It just made her scared to think that she might have disappointed them. They saw her like their baby sister and getting pregnant at 18 might change their opinions. Michael would probably end up in a screaming match with Shane and Eve would storm off and come back later to say she was sorry.

Shane was out for the night. As usual, he'd gone the bar with his friends from work, leavng Claire alone. He'd been distant since Myrnin told him that she was pregnant. He didn't want to kiss her any more and sometimes, he barely even acknowledged her. That was the worst. Nothing hurts more than nothing.

Claire pulled the plug from the kitchen sink after finishing the dishes. It was Shane's turn, but he hadn't stayed long after dinner, and the dishes had to be done. Something told her that Michael wasn't going to do them, and Eve did enough cleaning as it was.

Her hands were shaking as she went into the living room. Michael and Eve were cuddled together, Eve's head on his shoulder with a white blanket draped over the two of them. They were watching some chick flick and they looked adorable together.

Claire took a deep breath and said, "I need to talk to you,"

Michael paused the TV and looked over to her. Eve straightened up a bit, looking confused. Claire shuffled towards the armchair and sat down in it, facing the her two roommates/best friends.

"What's going on?" Eve asked softly, mirroring the confused look on Michael's face.

"I guess I should just come out and say it," Claire cried quietly, talking more to herself than her friends, "I'm pregnant,"

There was a moment of silence where Michael looked at Eve, and Eve looked at Michael, as if they expected the other to know what to say. Claire felt her top lip quivering and before she knew it, she was full out sobbing. Within seconds, Eve had wrapped her arms around Claire, stroking her soft brown hair.

"Oh, sweetie," Eve whispered, after a couple seconds, she added, "How far along are you?"

"Nearly 4 months," Claire whimpered back and she saw Michael rush over out of the cornr of her eye. He took her hand like a gentleman and smiled at her, telling her that he wasn't angry. Well, not at her at least.

"Does Shane know?" Michael asked.

"Yes," Claire cried into Eve's shoulder.

"What did he say? Was he angry?" Eve asked.

"He didn't say anything, he's barely even looked at me..." Her voice broke at the end, and her sobs became uncontrollable. Shane hated her and probably so did Michael and Eve.

"It'll be okay, Claire," Eve soothed, "It'll all be okay,"

Myrnin looked over at the film choices that Claire had picked out. She really had chosen the most sappy, typical-girl films. Films like; Titanic, P.S I Love You, The Notebook and Mamma Mia. If anyone else tried to make him watch any of them films, he would have laughed in their face - and probably snapped their neck, too . But for Claire? He'd watch all of them, as many times as she wanted. He just treasured the time with her.

He had set everything up for her perfectly. The pepperoni pizza was still hot and lying on the side. Myrnin had went out and bought mint choc chip ice cream , her favourite, as well as chocolate, popcorn and jellies. They probably wouldn't eat it all, but Myrnin wanted to make it special for her.

She'd been crying when she got to the lab. Naturally, Myrnin had been by her side in seconds, asking what was wrong and if her and Shane had argued. She said she just felt sad, that everything was changing and she didn't like it. She'd told Shane, but he had blamed hormones and left it as that.

Myrnin hated him for that. Claire may be pregnant, and yes, her hormones were definitly out of wack (they'd tested it out one day) but that didn't make her feelings any less real. Everything was changing and she felt scared. It was normal.

He wasn't very good at the whole comforting thing, so he'd offered her a night with movies. She's accepted gratefully, and Myrnin had let her go early so he had time to prepare.

The sofa and the blanket were neatly set out. The DVD was in the DVD player. The food was in bowls. All that was missing was one tiny, but amazing girl.

She came through the portal. Of course, it was dark outside. She was wearing a black t-shirt with black sweatpants. She didn't have any make-up on, but she didn't wear it most days anyway. Her hands was rested on her 5-months-pregnant stomach as she came downstairs to the lab. She smiled widely when she saw Myrnin and his heart melted for a second when she did.

She was so beautiful.

She threw herself onto the sofa and after a few seconds, Myrnin joined her. She rested her head on his chest as the start of Titanic came on. If Myrnin had a heart, it would be beating a thousand times a second.

He watched as nibbled away at the pizza. She hadn't even finished her first slice by the time that Myrnin was on his 3rd. He worried about her for a second, before remembering that Claire didn't eat much, anyway.

They were just getting to the good bit of the film where the boat starts sinking when Claire gasped suddenly and shifted away from Myrnin. He jumped around to face her quickly, afraid that she was hurt.

"Claire, what's wrong?" He made no effort to hide the panic in his voice.

She looked up at him and smiled, "The baby kicked,"

"Oh," Myrnin sighed, relieved that nothing was wrong. Claire couldn't help but think about how adorable he was, he was so scared for a second. He really did care about her a lot, and she'd never really realised it until now.

She grabbed his hand and moved it to her stomach. Myrnin was confused for a second then realized that she had put it where the baby had just kicked her. He waited a few seconds then he felt it. It was a strong, swift kick with little baby feet, reminding Myrnin that the baby was a real person. He traced the outline of the little foot and smiled to himself.

Claire leaned back in towards him and they carried on watching the film. His hand was still draped on her stomach and as the baby carried on kicking out Claire's insides, Myrnin couldn't help but smile. Claire and the baby might not be his, but he still got to share one of the most important moments with her, and that made it worth it.

"Thank you so much, Myrnin" Claire says as they pull to a stop outside the hospital. Today is the day where she'll find out if the baby is a boy or a girl. Shane, as he usually was nowadays, was too busy to go so Claire had asked Myrnin to take her instead.

She'd only been half-joking when she'd told him to drive extra slowly to the hospital. He laughed, of course he would. Both Claire and the baby were precious, there was no way he'd risk hurting either of them.

Claire gave her name in at the reception and sat down in the waiting room with Myrnin. He could tell that she was nervous, her hands were shaking. It didn't take long for the doctor to call her name.

"Hello, Claire. I'm Doctor McIntyre" the woman was middle aged with olive skin and short brown hair, "Who's this?" She asked, pointing to me.

"A friend," Claire told her quickly before smiling at me.

"A friend," The doctor repeated cheekily, "I see..."

She'd thought that I was Claire's baby's Dad! Not only is that not possible, but it's also not true at all. If only. You couldn't blame the Doctor for he thoughts though, usually, when someone was having a baby, the father would be there to support the mother. Unlike Shane who constantly pushed Claire aside and was always so cold to her.

I was pulled out of my dayream by the doctor asking Claire if she wanted to find out what she was having. I already knew what Claire's answer would be. Of course she wanted to find out. As expected, she nodded.

"Congratulations," The doctor told her, "You're having a boy!"

Why was he standing in the ice cream aisle of the only 24/7 grocery store at 3am in the morning again? Oh yes, because Claire had a pregnancy craving for ice cream, of all things. Never mind that it was January and freezing cold, she wanted - no, needed - ice cream.

And of course, Myrnin had out to get it for her. Of course he had. Love made me do things like that without thinking.

When she had appeared at the lab at 3am asking for ice cream, it had taken Myrnin a total of 5 seconds to jump up and leave to go and get it for her.

He grabbed a carton of Ben and Jerry's phish food, paid for it and sped back to the lab to get it too Claire while it was still frozen.

"Thank you so much," she said, smiling at him widely.

"No problemo," he smiled back whist hs heart melted.

She looked at him for a few seconds then leaned in and kissed him passionatly. The kiss reeked of forbideness and long lost love. He deepend it and she put her hands into his hair. Then she pulled away, tears in her eyes.

"I can't do this," she cried quietly before taking off, leaving him alone.

Myrnin froze as Claire looked back at him with fear in her eyes.

"Myrnin, my water just broke..." the look on his face was hilarious as he started hopping around like an old cartoon from room to room, getting things for Claire. She'd been practically living with him for the last 2 weeks after Shane left. Myrnin expected her to be sad, but she said that she'd expected it.

He drove crazily fast to the hospital, but no one was ran over and the car didn't crash so Claire called it a 'safe journey'. They were silent most of the way there, both terrified of the next few hours and what it would bring.

For a second, they stood outside before Claire kissed Myrnin on the cheek and said, "Next time we come out of here, we'll have a baby,"

Myrnin liked those words. We'll have a baby, not just her, the two of them. Myrnin was ready now, he was going to take care of both of them.

It shouldn't have ended like this.

It should have been happy tears with smiles of joy on the faces of family and friends. It should have been mountains of onesies and blue baby balloons. It should have been 10 tiny fingers with 10 tiny toes.

It shouldn't have ended with Myrnin collapsing down the wall with tears running down his face whilst Amelie watched hopelessly, unsure of what to do. She held a blue teddy bear in her hand, dropping down next to Myrnin.

It definitly shouldn't have ended with Claire screaming at Myrnin, begging him to do something. To save him.

"He died," he told her, "The baby is dead,"

Amelie was stunned, she dropped the bear and wrapped her arms around her friend. He was heartbroken. After all, they may not have been bound by blood, but Myrnin had loved the baby as his own.

He was just as much Myrnin's son as he was Claire's.