Author's Note: Hello readers! This first chapter will be a short one to introduce the story. I hope you all enjoy and please leave feedback and tell me what you think.
Some things you should know before reading:
-This story begins during the summer after 5th year. The dreaded year Sirius dies!
-In this story, the Dursleys' abuse is more intense than it is in canon.
-This is Harry/Sirius slash!
-Trigger warning! Suicide will be mentioned in this story!
Happy reading!
"Remus, please don't try and stop me," Harry said, rushing around the room and throwing his things into his trunk. Remus was exasperatedly trying to reason with him. "Harry, you can't do this! It's not only illegal but extremely dangerous! Please don't make me lose you too!" Remus shouted, stopping Harry in his tracks. "Remus…" Harry turned to face the older man and, to Remus's surprise, had tears welled in his eyes. "I have a confession to make," Harry started, sitting on the bed and pulling Remus with him. Harry hesitated for a moment before he began to talk. "This past year...well, I have had a rough go of things. My mind has started going to this place that scares me so much and I've become obsessed with...I've been considering suicide." Harry wasn't sure how else to put it and he winced at the sound of the word, afraid of the affect it would have on Remus. Sure enough, Remus let out an audible gasp and it was barely a second before Harry felt himself being pulled into a bone-crushing hug. He stiffened as Remus squeezed the still fresh cuts and bruises on his back. He was able to put a believable glamour charm on his face and arms so Remus didn't know there was anything wrong with him, but that didn't take away the pain.
"No, Harry, no, no," Remus chanted semi-hysterically, rocking himself and Harry back and forth as he whimpered into Harry's hair. After a moment, Remus pulled away. "You can't take your own life, Harry James! How would Sirius and your parents feel if you…" Remus couldn't finish that sentence. "I know, Remus," Harry assured, picking at a loose string in his trousers. "I've just been feeling this way more and more since Sirius's death, and well...this was the alternative that I came up with," Harry shrugged. He could see the hesitation in Remus's gaze. "Remus, this is something I have to do. I have to get them back for both of us. Please, just trust me, and whatever you do...don't tell Dumbledore." Harry finished, looking at Remus to gauge his reaction. Finally Remus took a deep breath. "I won't tell Dumbledore. But Harry, you be careful! And always know that I, Sirius, and your parents love you no matter what," Remus said, tears beginning to trek down his face. "I know. I love you too," Harry said, biting his lip. He thought he loved Remus. He tried to love Remus, but after nearly two decades of living with the Dursleys, Harry wasn't sure he truly knew what it felt like to love another person or to be loved by another person. After a final squeeze from Remus, Harry stood, throwing the remainder of his things into his trunk and grabbing Hedwig's cage. "I'll see you on the flip side," Harry tried, giving Remus a sad smile. With that, he flicked the time turner and that was that.