South Park: An Old yet New Face
Disclaimer: I don't own South Park or any of its characters
Chapter 1: South Park
Author: So, I've been hooked on South Park for a bit and decided to write, or type, one about it. Just to try it out. So, I'm gonna be basing some chapters off of episodes of the series and just a reminder, they might not be in order. So, please, give this story some love and I'll give you a cookie. ;)
OC's can be accepted if not a Mary Sue! Male or Female, doesn't matter! Just send in OC information by sending me a PM or in the review box. If you would like to use my OC for any of your South Park stories, just ask me and I might be interested.
South Park? Why does that name sound so familiar? The road was bumpy on this lousy moving truck that my head would collide on the window, nearly shattering the glass and my skull. My Mom, who sat in the front next to my Dad, glanced at me and smiled. My little brother, Joseph, was playing with his toy dinosaur, which really annoyed me. My Dad, who was a heavy alcoholic, was drinking and driving, which didn't surprise me. I was actually scared shitless because it was sometime in the morning, around 9:00, and my Dad worked late last night. Tired or drunk…which is worse?
"Don't worry, baby, life is going to be great when we move here!" My Mom exclaimed. She had long, blonde hair and wore red lipstick. My Dad, who looked at me through the rearview mirror, had a short, dark blonde hair with a small beard, which I told him to shave. He said it was a man's dream to grow a beard this beautiful, which was full of shit. My little brother had brown hair, which doesn't make sense since both of our parents had blonde hair, and he was about 3 years old.
He gulped another can of beer before giving me a drunk smile, "Don't worry, Son, you're gonna meet new friends." He slurred before burping.
I ran my hand through my dark blonde hair, sighing at my father before looking out the window again. Damn, it's been at least a few years since I've been here, and this town still hasn't changed. In fact, I think it has gotten smaller. I remember this one time when I was in preschool, in this town of course, my friends and I were playing firemen and we were so stupid that we wanted to start a real one…
"Dude, let's play firemen!" A young boy wearing a red poof-ball hat suggested, throwing his hands up in the air.
Another boy with a green ukhanaka nodded in agreement, "Yeah! Let's play firemen!"
Jake nodded in agreement, but a fat boy with a yellow and light blue hat disliked that idea. "Jews can't be firemen!" He pointed at said green hatted boy, who scowled at him.
"Shuddup fat ass!" Jake shouted, shoving the fat boy and defending his friend, who smiled at him.
The now angry fat boy pouted before another boy with an orange parka, with the hood covering his whole face except his eyes, spoke, "mphmm? Mphmm?" Jake scratched his chin in confusion and Stan nodded.
"Kenny's right, how are we gonna start a real fire?" Kyle asked before he pointed to a blonde haired kid beating up another kid, "Let's ask Trent Boyett, he's the toughest and meanest kid in class!"
"Go Jake!" Cartman shouted, pushing Jake towards Trent.
"Leave him alone, fat boy!" Stan was about to charge at the 'big boned' kid until he was held back by Kyle. The blonde brunette gulped and slowly made his way toward the bully, who was finished with his victim, and turned around to notice the nervous blonde.
Trent crossed his arms before asking, "What'd you want, shithead?" He asked in a high, southern accent.
"Do you know how to start a fire?" Jake asked, his voice becoming calm, and pointed at his friends behind him. "Me and my friends want to play as firemen!"
Trent nodded but still glared at the blonde brunette, "Sure, I know how to start a lot of stuff."
Jake smiled and threw his hands in the air, "We're gonna be firemen and save the day!"
"Do you shit-for-brains even know HOW to put OUT a fire?" He asked, erasing all the excitement from the brunette and made him think for a moment. How CAN they put out that fire? They haven't really thought of that!
"We know how to put one out, we're firemen!" Stan exclaimed proudly from across the room, making everyone else nod in agreement. Trent shrugged before picking up a piece of paper and crumpled it up to a ball. During that time, Jake made his way toward his friends before Butters walked up to them, clutching his blanket.
"Jeez, fellers, I hope you know what you're doing." He shyly warned, his eyes filled with worry.
Cartman scowled at him, "Shut up, Butters! We know what we're doing!" Butters nodded before walking away, looking satisfied that they took his warning. Trent finished crumpling the paper, took out his lighter, and lit the ball into flames. Stan made a fire alarm noise, pulled his pants down, and peed on the flames, attempting to put it out. Trent looked in shock at his actions before Kyle and everyone else also started to pee.
Trent gulped before running towards them, "Hey! Put it out!" He ordered nervously, fearing the worst. The teacher, Ms. Claridge, ran over to the scene in shock, her eyes wide.
"Trent Boyett, what have you done?!" She screamed before shooing the kids away, "Children, get away!" She grabbed a blanket and pat the fire until the blanket caught on fire. She screamed when the flames engulfed the blanket and herself, flaying her arms in the air. "I'M BURNING! I'M BURNING!"
"Put her out!" Stan yelled before him, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny ran beside her and pissed on her. Jake and the other students looked in shock until Trent nailed Jake in the cheek with a block, sending the blonde brunette tumbling and whimper in pain.
"You idiot! This was all your fault!" He screamed before the police, ambulance, and REAL firemen arrived. The kids were escorted out of the school while an officer walked up towards the five kids with Trent by his side.
"Boys, Trent here says YOU started the fire. Is it true?" The cop asked, raising an eyebrow at the five kids.
They glanced at one another before Cartman piped up, "Trent Boyett is a liar, officer. He tried to frame us!" This earned a shocked look from Trent. The cop scowled down at the boy before he carried Trent to his vehicle until Trent stopped and faced Butters.
"Butters, you saw everything! Tell'em the truth!"
Butters clutched his blanket tighter before replying, "I'm sorry, Trent, if I tell I'll get in trouble."
Trent gasped before glaring at the five friends and Butters, "Y'all hope they'll never release me!" His eyes then focused on Jake, who had a bruise on his left eye, "Better pray!" The cop shoved the boy in his car before driving off.
After the siren died down from a distance, Cartman spoke up, "Don't worry, he'll be in there for like five years!" Cartman smirked, earning relived looks from the others…
"Jesus Christ!" I yelled, eyes wide, when the truck stopped short. My Mom fixed her hair and growled at my Dad, while my Dad looked at the house with drunk eyes and laughed. My family got out of the truck, which I had to carry my little brother since he was asleep, and my Dad carried the rest of the boxes inside.
"And that's the rest!" My Dad, whose name was Daryl, grunted as he dropped a box on the floor. My Mom, whose name was Lily, hugged my Dad, then me, and looked at all of us with a smile on her face.
"We'll restart our life here! Welcome home!" She shouted proudly. I rolled my eyes at her, feeling embarrassed since she was so cheerful. My Dad yawned, scratched his back, and headed upstairs. "Daryl! Get down here and finish unboxing these boxes!" My Dad stopped, scowled at her, and stomped down the steps. "Jake, why won't you go outside and find some friends."
"But Mom! I'm tired!" I yawned, which was a big mistake. Shit, I should have never done that. Now she thinks I'm just being lazy and pointed out the door. I sighed and dropped my head before walking to the front door and twisted the knob. "Oh, I forgot my hat." I quickly grabbed my black skull cap, which had a dark orange rim around it, and walked out the front door, the cold wind hitting me like a punch to the face. My blue jacket kept me warm for a bit, and my dark orange gloves did the trick too, but my gay looking black scarf made me embarrassed.
"Daryl! Careful with that!" I heard my Mom shout. I quietly mimicked her voice before making my way down the block, still hearing my parents argue about where to put the furniture and, of course, my Dad's margarita maker.
"Damn it Lily!" My Dad yelled, which rang out for miles. They would do this practically every day, but there was no hitting, only yelling. I groan and continued my way down the block, passing through many familiar houses. I walked around the next block, passing a few people I knew and greeted me. I felt home, truly home. Not like New York, which I loved, but I felt more comfortable here. New York was cool, I met several friends, but I lived near the bad side of a neighborhood. All I can say is…drug dealers. I remember walking past one and he opened his coat, revealing a bag of white powder, which I never knew what it was.
Don't do drugs, kids.
I turned another corner and spotted the park where me and my friends used to go to with our parents. There, I also saw four kids, about my age, playing basketball and looked really familiar. One had a brown jacket, red gloves, blue denim jeans like me, and a red and blue knit cap with a red pom-pom on top. Stan Marsh, one of my closest friends. Another boy had a greenish lime ushanka, a bright orange jacket, dark green pants, and lime-green mittens. Kyle Broflovski, another close friend. The third boy was chubby and wore a red jacket, yellow mittens, a blue hat with a yellow puff ball on top, and brown pants. Ugh, Eric Cartman. The last boy wore an orange parka, which the hood covered his entire face but his eyes, orange pants, and brown gloves. Kenny McCormick, my third closest friend. My old friends were there, just standing there.
"Shut up, Cartman!" Kyle shouted, stopping the ball from dribbling. Those two are still fighting? I rolled my eyes before slowly walking up to the basketball court casually. The others took notice of me and raised an eyebrow.
That's when Kenny figured it out, "Jake!" Him, Stan, and Kyle ran up to me and surrounded me with questions, greetings, and high five's.
When Stan wrapped his arm around my shoulders, we heard the familiar groan from Cartman, "Fags." He mumbled.
"Hey guys, you haven't changed a bit!" I chuckled before looking at Kenny. "Kenny, you're still alive and kicking!" He mumbled 'asshole' but he still waved at me. "Cartman, still as fat as ever I see."
"Ay! Fuck you, bro!" He shouted, glaring at me before smirking, "Look Stan, your lover's back!"
"Shut up, fat ass!" Stan yelled as his cheeks turned slightly pink. Cartman must've noticed this because his smirk grew wider. Stan glared at him before grinning at me, "You here for good?"
"The gang's back together!" I laughed, wrapping my arms around Kyle and Stan's shoulders. Kenny raised his hands in the air while Eric rolled his eyes in annoyance.
"Hooway!" Joey cheered, stopping the celebration.
The others looked at my little brother while I placed my hands on my hips, "God damn it! My little brother's following me! Go home, Joey!"
"Shut up." He giggled, making me growl.
"Go home!" Kyle tried to shoo my brother away, but to no avail.
"Go home ya dildo!" Cartman grumbled. I ignored the fat boy and scowled at my little bro, who still smiled at me.
"Fuck off, Cartman!" Kenny piped up, flipping the fat boy off before returning to scowling at my little brother, who continued to give us that innocent, cute, little kid smile. Huh, that hasn't worked since last week!
"I call three pointer." I said to myself, taking a couple of steps while holding my brother in the air. I then threw my little bro across the court and into the net, which sent him through a couple of garbage pails after he bounced off the floor. "Jake: Three, Joey: Zero!" Kyle, Kenny, and Stan whooped while Cartman clapped. My little brother laughed until we spoke yet again.
"It's good to have you back, buddy." Kyle patted my back and flashed me a grin. "Oh, speaking of little brothers, I forgot to tell you that I have a little brother too! Ike!" I was surprised at his. Looks like Kyle has a sibling now. Back then, it used to be only Kenny and Stan who had any brothers or sisters. Joey wasn't 'made' yet and I'm still flabbergasted that Cartman's mom isn't pregnant, since she's been with a lot of people.
"…Your mom's a whore." I simply blurted out, pointing at Cartman. I had no reason to do that and was completely uncalled for…but it sure was funny.
Cartman scowled at me, "No she's not!"
"Then why is she on the cover of 'Whore Monthly'?" I asked, taking out a copy of the magazine from my pocket, don't ask, and handed it to Cartman. He snatched the magazine and looked at the cover before his face changed from pure anger to disgust. "Told you." He dropped the magazine like it was covered with goo and other things nasty before grumbling stuff under his breath.
Kyle decided to look for himself and laughed at the cover, "HAHAHAHA! DUDE! SHE IS!" Kenny looked as well before bursting out into a fit of giggles. Stan also couldn't help but laugh, even though he didn't see the magazine. "EW! She has veins on her legs! HAHAHAHA!"
Cartman flipped us off, "Screw you guys! I'm going home!" He then proceeded to wattle his way back to his house.
"He'll be back." Kyle chuckled out before wiping a tear from his cheek. He let out a few more laughs before sighing. "Oh. Okay, um, so, it's great to have you back, dude."
Kenny decided to stand next to me and nudge me in my ribs, "So, got any girls?"
I shrugged. Sure, I know a lot of girls up in New York, and I remember some down here too. Oh, speaking of girls. "It depends, did Stan finally ask Wendy out?" Stan puked when I mentioned her name. "AH! THAT'S WEAK!"
"Sick dude…" Kyle mumbled while shaking his head.
Kenny wasn't affected by this and nodded, "Yeah. They've been dating for a few weeks now, I think." Really? That took me by surprise. Stan was in love with Wendy since Kindergarten, and now suddenly he has the balls to do it. It took him nearly 3 years to ask her out, yeah, he doesn't have THAT much balls. God, I have to stop saying balls, it's making me feel gay. Not that there's anything wrong with gay people.
I decided to change the subject, "So, who wants to play two on two? Me and Kenny against you two." I say while pointing at Stan. "Loser has to….do the other person's homework for a week." Kenny nodded in agreement.
He flashed me a grin, "You're on, Andrews"
I smirked, "Bring it, Marsh!"