'Kay, so I found this lying around in my Word Documents, re-read it, realized it was still pretty funny, added some new stuff, and here you go. Hope it makes you giggle. :D
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Mr. Brown- It's time for Whose Line is it Anyway. On our cast tonight; abandon ship, it's Barbossa! Aw mom, just five more minutes, it's Captain Jack sparrow! Would you like fries with that, Will Turner! And I'll get you my pretty, Elizabeth Swann! I'm Mr. Brown, now let's have some fun. Sits down Hi everyone and welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway, the show were everything's made up and the point so don't matter. Yup, the points are like good looks to a millionaire. They just don't matter.
Anyway, let's start off tonight with a game called Hats, this is for all of you. What's going to happen is our performers are going to use the hats in these boxes to give us examples of the worlds worst dating service video. Take it away!
Elizabeth - Wearing baseball hat I'm looking for someone who's not afraid to run to first base.
Jack - Wearing hairnet How'd you like to try the meatballs?
Barbossa- Wearing pirate hat I'll take anyone who can get me a bigger hat.
Will- Wearing gorilla mask I'm the missing link to your relationship.
Barbossa- Wearing Abraham Lincoln hat If your worried about losing your virginity, I can keep it in my hat.
Jack- Wearing Mickey Mouse ears I've experienced the magic.
Will- Wearing bunny mask I enjoy long walks on the beach and practicing my multiplication tables?
Elizabeth- Wearing Harry Potter glasses Just show me your wand.
Mr. Brown hits buzzer
Mr. Brown- I'll give 500 points to Will for sharing my enjoyment of multiplication. Alright, our next game is Two Line Vocabulary, this is for Barbossa, Jack and Will. What's going to happen is these guys are going to act out a scene, but Jack and Will can only say two lines each. Barbossa can say anything he wants, unless it's about that night with the mongoose and the fuzzy-pen. Anyway, Will, your lines are "I don't think that's safe." and "Is that edible?". Jack, the only things you can say are "I don't understand" and "Are you sure about that?". The scene is that Will and Jack are new crewmembers on the Black Peal and Barbossa is telling them how to run the ship. Take it away, whenever your ready.
Barbossa- OK recruits, welcome to the Black Pearl.
Jack- I don't understand.
Barbossa- What's not to understand? You wanted to be in my crew and now you are.
Will- Is that edible?
Barbossa- No, you can not eat my hat!
Jack- Are you sure about that?
Barbossa- Yes, I'm quite sure! Anyway, as captain, I'm going to show how to run the ship. We'll start with the mast.
Will- Is that edible?
Barbossa- It's big! It's made of wood! What makes you think it's edible!
Will- I don't think that's safe.
Barbossa- Safe or not, we need the mast to hold up the sails which move the ship. All right, let's move on to the cannons.
Jack- I don't understand.
Barbossa- Impatiently Well, let me clear it up for you. The cannons are these big machines that we use to blow holes in other peoples ships.
Will- I don't think that's safe.
Barbossa- Well, not for them anyway.
Jack- I don't understand.
Barbossa- When we blow holes in the ship, the ship sinks! Therefore, it's not safe!
Jack- Are you sure about that?
Barbossa- If you knew how many ships I've done this to, you'd know I was sure.
Will- Points Is that edible?
Barbossa- It's a cannon ball for crying out loud!
Will- Points toward invisible cannonball and speaks more enthusiastically Is that edible!
Barbossa- NO! Mutters Just my luck. Finally get some new crewmembers and they're both idiots!
Jack- Are you sure about that?
Barbossa- I am extremely sure about it!
Mr. Brown hits buzzer
Mr. Brown- I'm going to award Elizabeth 15 billion points for that one. Oh yeah; I went there. Smirk OK, our next game is Questions Only, this is for everyone. How this one works is we're going to start with Elizabeth and Will, who are going to act out a scene for us, but they can only speak in questions. If one of them messes up, then Barbossa and Jack will step in. Now I need a suggestion from the audience for where you would have your first job.
Commodore Norrington, who is in the audience- FAST FOOD PLACE!
Mr. Brown- OK, fast food place it is.
Norringtion- I should be on this show, you know! I was in the movie, too!
Mr. Brown- Trying to ignore Norrington Fast food place, questions only…
Norrington- I KNOW MY RIGHTS!
Mr. Brown- FAST FOOD, GOD DAMNIT! Hurls empty rum bottle at Norrington
Norrington- narrowly dodges bottle and shuts up
Mr. Brown- Anyway, you're working at a fast food place and you can only speak in questions. Take it away Will and Elizabeth.
Elizabeth- Can you fill that order
Will- Why can't you do it?
Elizabeth- Do I look like I have the time?
Will- What else are you doing?
Elizabeth- Why's it so important?
Will- …Because I love you! Kisses Elizabeth
Mr. Brown- hits buzzer repeatedly OK, you guys, nobody wants to see that. Will you're out!
Jack come out
Jack- Would you consider dating me?
Elizabeth- What idiot told you I would?
Jack- Why does that matter?
Elizabeth- How can it NOT matter!
Jack- Why are you so moody all of a sudden?
Elizabeth- pauses, snickering…Oh, damn it!
Mr. Brown- Hits buzzer
Barbossa walks out
Barbossa- You want some of these fries?
Jack- Can't you see I have my own?
Barbossa- Didn't you find those under the stove
Jack- Does that make them bad?
Barbossa- When doesn't it?
Jack- Don't you have to be at the window?
Barbossa- To do what?
Jack- Isn't it obvious?
Barbossa- …No.
Mr. Brown- Hits buzzer A million points to Jack for eating the fries under the stove. Let's see, last game for tonight is Green Screen. This is for Jack, Will, and Elizabeth. Jack and Elizabeth are going to be news reporters at the station while Will is at the scene. Will's going to stand in front of that screen and a picture will come on that we can all see, but he can't. even if he looks directly at it, all he can see is green. Jack and Elizabeth will have to give him clues so he can guess what's on the screen. Take it away!
Jack- Hello, and welcome to news channel 1,437,490,374,948. I'm Captain Jack Sparrow and this is Elizabeth Swan. Our top story tonight is happening on 47th street. Will Turner is live on the scene, Will?
Camera goes to Will- Commodore Norrington modeling a Ballerina tutu in front of a mirror is on the screen. Norrington in the audience is in a state of shock
Will- Yes, Jack?
Jack- Will, are finding this a bit shocking?
Will- Of course not. It nothing too out of the ordinary.
Elizabeth- Are you finding any particular person you recognize in this picture? An old rival perhaps?
Will- Not that I can see. But it would be a sad, sad thing to see one of my friends in this situation.
Jack- I've heard that some people of high authority were involved in this. Is there any evidence to justify?
Will- Well, Jack, all I can say is that if they were of high authority, they sure aren't anymore.
Elizabeth- Now, this may be the shock talking, but is that "The Nutcracker" I hear playing in the background?
Will- …I'm pretty sure it's the shock talking.
Jack- I'm seeing quite a bit of pink in this picture. What's that all about?
Will- well, we all know that real men wear pink, but I wouldn't really count this thing as a man.
Mr. Brown- hits buzzer All right, Will, what do you think is on the screen?
Will- Commodore Norrington wearing a Ballerina tutu!
Mr. Brown- Right!
Norrington- from the audience DAMN YOU, TURNER!
Mr. Brown- hits buzzer repeatedly Very good! 50 points to Barbossa because I'm feeling saucy. Well folks, our winner tonight is…well, if you'd been keeping track of the points, you'd know yourself! Be sure to join us next time for more Who's Line is it Anyway! Good night!
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DO YOU LOVE IT:P
Anyways, hope you thought at least the meatball line was funny.
S'later.
Chef13