In this Tony spends his day annoying Ziva for amusement. Chapters are written with no actions, no descriptions, and no settings. Just the characters talking back and forth. They are sitting at their desks. If they go anywhere else it will state so in their dialogue.
Thank you to: the beta, Thought.
Summary: Gibbs left poor Ziva alone in the office with Tony all day. Not, not, not a Tiva.
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"Where is he?"
"What?"
"Where is he?"
"Where's who?"
"Who? What do you mean who? Gibbs! Where's Gibbs?"
"He's not coming in today, Ziva."
"Very funny, Tony. Now where is he?"
"Oh, Ziva, Ziva, Ziva. Ye of little faith."
"Don't you trust me?"
"Never."
"Ouch."
"Never mind, I'll call him myself."
"You can try, but his phone is off."
"… ."
"Alright, fine. Gibbs, Abby, and McGee are all off on assignment."
"Why are we not with them?"
"Because apparently our phones were off so now we get to spend the day on desk duty filing paperwork with each other. Now, I know my phone was off because of a certain feisty little blonde I met at a club. What's your excuse?"
"That's disgusting."
"Jealous?"
"Never."
"Still haven't answered the question, Ziva."
"I was… busy."
"Doing what?"
"Things."
"What kind of things."
"Didn't you say that we have paperwork to do?"
"Why yes I did!"
"Well?"
"If you would turn around you will find that a mountain of dead trees has taken residence upon your desk."
"You have got to be kidding me."
"I, for one, find it a pleasure to be working solo with you, Ziva."
"Tony?"
"Yes?"
"Talk again and I will kill you with my pen."