Hello everyone,
So this story is just me playing around with the idea of unrequited love and how one deals with it.
I think it's quite interesting how out of something as oure and innocent as a crush can develop something so destructive and painful, especially when the person suffering from it has literally done nothing wrong.
The Sandman, at least where I come from, is known to scatter sleep sand in the people's faces to make them sleep. I played around with that idea but neglected the other version of the Sandman: the one who gauges out the eyes of people. Perhaps I'll use that another time.
Anyways, please enjoy.
I don't own One Piece nor any of the characters.
Sabo
The very first time he saw him, Sabo had been enchanted.
Utterly, completely fascinated.
He couldn't tear his eyes away for the entire night; he neglected everything and everyone, all his duties all throughout his shift. He'd just been able to stare at him, watch him, take in the beauty within every inch of his glorious golden skin and he'd just been.
In awe.
And his heart had pounded, hard, fast and painful and he'd never wanted that night to end.
But eventually, he'd felt the pull, the need to retreat back to the soothing emptiness of his world, and with a crying heart and his fingers stretched out to touch him, he'd have to give in to the call and leave the human and he'd still been able to witness how the boy had slowly woken up, sluggishly, he can still remember clearly the dark eyes fluttering open, still heavy from his blissful sleep and his mouth forming a pleasant smile, a smile owned by those who are blessed with an unburdened, happy life, and Sabo had left his heart right there, in that moment, and he knew that he'd be back, every night, from this night on to his last. With just so much as a smile, the human had taken Sabo's heart into his tender hands.
Sabo sighs, glancing at the clock. It's almost time. His lips pull into a joyous grin. Just a little longer, and he'll see his lovely little human again…
Sabo later found out that his name is Luffy. Monkey D. Luffy. Sabo thinks he's never heard a better name for anyone before. And tonight, once again, he'll make sure that the boy, or now, young man has the single best dream of all the people within Sabo's scope.
His supervisor doesn't like Sabo favouring Luffy over everyone else, but when he tried changing Sabo's scope Sabo pulled a tantrum and gave the entire city horrendous crazy dreams that messed with the humans' heads badly for two months straight, so his supervisor changed it back.
Sabo had been punished of course. They had given him horrible beatings, whippings and a hideous scar on his face for his disobedience and selfishness. But he'd endured it all, with a stupid, triumphant smile on his face, while the whips and sticks and punches hailed down on him and he'd lain in a puddle of his own blood, with his spirits high as ever.
They weren't able to change his mind.
All the pain in the world can't stop him from being close to the human he gave his heart too.
They could've given him a hundred beatings more, a thousand whippings more and he wouldn't have wavered.
His heart belongs to the human.
Nothing matters to Sabo except Luffy and his dreams. The dreams Sabo creates for him. Every night, when he's asleep, Sabo gently scatters the golden dream sand on his eyes and crafts him beautiful, wonderful dreams. He usually is a rather creative sandman, and he's fairly generous and lets a lot of people within his scope have pretty dreams. But if it's for Luffy's sake – he gladly goes all out and gives it his all.
And he won't let any other sandman do it besides himself.
This is his job, his responsibility, the one thing he chose for himself.
So no one will mess with Luffy's dreams. As soon as the boy is asleep, he's all Sabo's, every night, and god he loves it so much and his heart flutters excitedly when he thinks about it.
He loves Luffy so, so much. So, so very much, every night his love just grows stronger and every night, every morning when he has to leave, he falls for him once more, he falls for him every night, every morning, it's like a curse, or like a blessing, he doesn't know.
Probably both.
And Sabo showers him with affection, love, time, everything within his tight options, he gives him everything he can, which isn't much, because Luffy is a human and Sabo is a sandman, and yet he wants to give him everything he could possibly want from a dream. Sabo worships him, his sleeping smile, his innocence, his purity, his radiant being.
Sabo always, always makes sure the boy has the sweetest, most gorgeous dreams, full of colours, full of hope and ideas and adventures and music and joy.
And whenever the nightmare goblins appear, he kills them before they even get to touch his beloved human. Actually, the sandmen are not allowed to interfere with the goblins, because the sandmen and the nightmare goblins have been sharing this job since the beginning of mankind. But he interferes anyways, because Sabo is selfish and jealous and so, so head over heels for the human.
His human.
No one besides Sabo is allowed to get inside Luffy's head. No one else is allowed inside Luffy's beautiful sleeping mind.
That is Sabo's realm. Only his.
Thus, Luffy hasn't had a nightmare in…well, like three years now. Maybe four. Oh no, even longer. He doesn't really remember, time passes so quickly, and yet in the blink of an eye. He met Luffy when Luffy was like…14 years old perhaps. And now he's 19. And since then Sabo has claimed Luffy's dreams for himself.
And he isn't planning on letting go of them.
Ever.
Sabo rises from his bed. Sandmen don't leave their chambers during the day; they're locked in their rooms and wait until dusk, when they're allowed outside. Then they're allowed to leave for the human world and it's where they are busy all throughout the night, giving the people in their scope dreams, or collaborating with the nightmare goblins – or letting the ugly little fuckers do as they please, anyways.
Visiting the humans at night and guiding their dreams is the essence of a sandman's life. That's all there is to their existence. They exist for the humans, all their existence revolves solely around them, and yet they're cut off from them, there's a barrier between them, the wall between being awake and asleep, and it's impossible for sandmen to breach it. Human don't know they exist. They can't see sandmen, can't hear them, nothing. But enjoy their dreams nevertheless. Sandmen are forever bound to be close – and yet, never close enough.
And thus, their hearts are cold. Unbothered. Without longing that exceeds the desire to fulfil their duty well.
At least that's what Sabo thought until he fell in love.
And now the centre of his world is Luffy.
Everything Sabo does revolves around Luffy. All his thoughts, all his memories, all his emotions circle around him and him only.
He usually goes to Luffy's place first. The boy is an early sleeper, so Sabo takes his sweet time crafting a gorgeous dream for him. Then he gently scatters the dream sand on the handsome face and watches how Luffy turns to his other side, how he lets out a soft, incoherent mumble and then his eyes starts moving behind his lids and Sabo knows that his dream has started.
Then Sabo leaves to take care of the other people within his scope, and when he's done with his duties he returns to Luffy's room, he sits down on his fluffy red carpet, crosses his legs and just watches him sleep.
He watches Luffy enjoy the dream, he watches it like humans watch their favourite play or film, and every night is better than the one before. And he takes in Luffy's room, the room he's been sleeping in for a year now, since he started university, he can always tell what has changed about the room, he studies his possessions, his books, his music, his movies, looks at his pictures and posters, he maps out all these tiny things that make Luffy who he is.
But, most of all, he just watches his beautiful, beautiful face pull into a blessed smile and every time he sees it, Sabo's heart jumps out of his chest, because he can't believe he's so lucky to see Luffy's sleeping face every night, he gets to give him his dreams and watch them, he gets to come inside the boy's head, no one else, and he's just so…so…
He tears his eyes always from the beloved sight. He still has dreams to distribute.
He sighs and runs a hand through his hair.
But I'll be back in no time my lovely human.
Luffy…
He has about an hour left before the sun rises. Sabo smiles happily as he sits down on the carpet in Luffy's bed. Right now the boy is lying on his side, his blanket pushed halfway to the ground. Sabo feels light concern and closes his eyes to dive into Luffy's sleeping mind. It's as easy as taking a breath.
The boy is enjoying a day at the beach. Sabo has even taken the time and woven Luffy's dear friends into his dream so he wouldn't be alone. He recognises the faces, some of them are within his scope, too, and he's given them their respectful dreams earlier this night. He watches contently how they run down the brilliant white beach, the glistening ocean right next to them. They're all happy. Luffy especially. His eyes are glowing in the clear sunlight and he is laughing and although the sounds are distant, Sabo can still hear them and he sighs happily.
A happy Luffy means that Sabo is happy, too.
Perfectly happy.
Perfectly…
…Happy
Sabo leaves him alone in his dream and he opens his eyes and his vision shows him what's actually in front of him right now. Luffy's bed with his beloved human sleeping in it. His student room. He has grown to know his room so well.
Sabo rests his chin in his palm. Lately, however…
He has felt a weird…throbbing in his chest. Something he hasn't experienced before, but it's become more and more evident. It's not always there. But at times like these, when he's here, the single most important place to him, by his beloved human, he notices that strange…aching in his chest.
And he doesn't know what's wrong with him.
He should be perfectly happy; everything is as it's supposed to be, Luffy's dreams are taken care of, he can watch the boy sleep and…that's all there is to Sabo's happiness.
That's all that is important to him.
So why…?
He thoughtfully rubs his chest. This is indeed…very odd.
He hears a mean snickering behind him. He frowns and turns around. He recognises the imp in an instant. The black robes that fall around them like the wings of a vulture, the taunting smirk, the otherwise friendly face that belies the rottenness of the inside. The female imp with brown hair sticks her tongue out.
"Back off," Sabo sighs and rolls his eyes. Imps are just so damn nosy and annoying… not to mention they're completely useless and only exist to cause chaos and trouble for everyone.
The imp giggles wickedly. Her name is Koala. She grins at him mischievously and approaches the bed. Sabo raises a brow.
"Don't go closer," he barks ad she stops walking, her laughter is ringing sickeningly loud in his ears.
"Fufufu, worried about your beloved little human?" she asks tauntingly. "So ugly…small…and defenceless…"
"Get the hell away from him," Sabo growls, jumping to his feet, but she already leaps backwards. She rolls her eyes dramatically, and she seems terribly satisfied with herself for pissing him off.
"Calm down, Sabo. Imps are not interested in causing trouble for sandmen. Well, most of the time that is."
"Then stay away from him," Sabo hisses and he positions himself between the malicious demon and the bed of his beloved human.
The woman clicks her tongue impatiently, before she starts grinning again and she leans her back against the wall. Her black, lethery wings are folded against her shoulders and her sharp horns that peek through her hair point dangerously at him.
"But isn't this interesting. You spend every single night here in this room and watch him. I've heard a few imps and goblins talk about you already. They all sneer at you, you have no idea. You're so damn pathetic, sandman. Don't you have anything better to do than watching this human sleep?"
"Says the imp who has neither a home, nor a swarm or any other admirable trait in her rotten body," Sabo replies and he likes how she narrows her eyes with annoyance.
"Don't talk too big, sandman. Doesn't change the fact that you and the rest of your stupid kin are nothing but morons. You work your ass off every fucking night for your lovely humans and what do you get in return? Nothing."
Sabo freezes, his heart lurching at her words and he clutches a hand to his chest.
That…hurt…
He blinks, unable to form words and she raises a brow, grinning at him knowingly. She knows perfectly well that she hit a sensitive point.
"Got nothing to say now? Because I'm right and you know it! You and your kin are just stupid working idiots who serve the humans and don't even get anything in return! You're exploited and abused and you're happy about it? Are you guys stupid or something?!"
Sabo grimaces. "That's – that's not true! We do our duty, unlike you roaches! You – what the hell do you even do?" he replies, but his voice is cracking and his insides seem to burn with anger and…and envy…?
And he has a bitter acid taste in his mouth and his stomach twists and coils like a nest of malicious snakes and their poison is shooting through his body, leaving it burning and throbbing and pulsing with something he doesn't understand – but it hurts, god…it hurts…
What is this…?
"Pfff, us imps have fun and a good laugh, every single day of our lives!" She smirks and steps closer.
"But you guys? Your life? You can hardly call that life, it's dull, it's grey, it's boring and you don't have any fucking free will! What you're doing right now? Is just pathetic, because you are bloody pathetic, Sabo, and you know that. This boy? He won't ever know that you exist! You will return to his room every fucking night, right, because you love him to pieces, and you know what? At some point he won't be sleeping alone in that bed anymore, because he's a human and he's becoming an adult!"
Sabo stares at her, his hands clenched to fists at his sides and her every word is piercing through him like a dagger, like a blade, and every word is drilling deeper into him and his lungs stop working and he can just stare at her and he can't close off his ears, he can only stare at her and see his vision gradually blurring with hot tears.
"And oh no! You have to watch him share his bed, share his clothes with someone else, you'll see him naked, even having sex with the person next to him, who knows?! And yet you'll return to his side every night to give him his picture perfect dreams because there's nothing else you can do for him and you'll worship the fucking ground he walks on, and once he dies and he will because he is a human, he won't know that you've ever existed and you will be alone, because that is what all of you sandmen are – alone, alone every pathetic second of your ridiculous lives. Does that sound about right to you? I think it does!"
And with that and one last humoured glance his way, she disappears and leaves him standing there, with a gaping hole in his chest, and pain so overwhelming and excruciating exploding in his chest Sabo doesn't know what to do with himself and his tears fall to the ground but they don't leave wet spots on the carpet, because in Luffy's world he doesn't exist, and so his tears fall and fall into nothing.
He turns around to look at Luffy and for the very first time Sabo feels his heart breaking, he can feel it shrivel and shatter and his arms and legs and hands are useless, he can't do anything but feel his insides crumble with misery and sorrow and he wishes he could've killed that imp, wishes he could've killed her before she said these words to him, because she told him everything, with that rotten, spoiled mouth of hers, she told him everything he doesn't want to hear, doesn't want to believe…
And her speaking out the truth that is so obvious –
God it hurt so much, so, so much.
And something breaks inside of him.
He bites his lip hard and shuffles closer to the sleeping, smiling boy he loves with every fibre of his body. And he drops to his knees. Why…why, Sabo loves Luffy so much, he showers him with everything Sabo can give him, why does Luffy not realise it's Sabo, why does he not realise it's Sabo who gives him all his sweet dreams, doesn't he feel Sabo's affection, can't he feel or…or sense it in a way, how much louder does Sabo have to yell to make him hear it, how much longer is Sabo doomed to watch from afar and not get close to him, when…why…
Even when Sabo loves him so, so much…
Why can't Luffy love him back..?
Because he doesn't know I exist…
"My love…I would do anything to make you smile at me. Just once and I'd be happy," Sabo whispers, and he chokes down a desperate sob that shakes his body like a doll. He reaches out one trembling hand, but before he can touch Luffy's hand, he halts. And with an aching heart, he lowers his itching fingers again and he longs so, so much to touch him, feel him, even the littlest contact.
But he must not.
He is a sandman.
Sandmen don't belong in his world.
He lets out a troubled sigh and rests his chin on the mattress.
Sabo rubs his wet eyes and tries a smile. It doesn't work.
"You-you can't hear me, but it's all I'd ever ask for. Just you smiling at me. And it'd be enough for me, my sweetheart."
Luffy just breathes.
And continues sleeping, unconcerned, unaware of the sandmen watching over him, Luffy doesn't hear Sabo, doesn't see him, doesn't sense him, Sabo can feel Luffy's shallow breath tickling over his skin, but in turn for Luffy, even if he were to wake up, he'd think he's alone in his room, he wouldn't hear Sabo's voice calling for him, he wouldn't feel Sabo's troubled heartbeat close to him, he wouldn't…
Nothing.
He'd go back to sleep. And his world would still be turning like before.
Sabo's grimaces and claws his hand into his aching chest. He's surprised not to see a patch of wet crimson blood on the front of his coat. How can it hurt so much – and yet no trace of it is evident on his body?
No sign of him suffering.
Luffy's world keeps turning, on and on, and he lives his happy, blessed life.
And Sabo…
Well.
The sun is about to rise and Sabo can feel the pull. He swallows hard, childish defiance rising within him; he doesn't want to leave yet. He wants to watch Luffy wake up, he wants to see the face Luffy makes when he returns to the world of the awake, Sabo wants to know if the boy remembers his dream, he wants to know…
Wants to hear his voice…
See him be alive…
The pull gets stronger, like iron claws digging into his sides and he has to oblige at last and with a pained sigh, he stands up. The pull gets harder and harder to resist and he steps backwards, into the shadows.
"Tomorrow night I'll give you beautiful dreams again, my lovely Luffy," he whispers weakly into the silence.
Luffy doesn't wake up.
Sabo sits in his chamber. Before, his room didn't bother him. Why would it, it's what he has known for all his existence. The bed, the chair, the shelf with the books. Nothing else. When he glances outside the barred window, he sees an empty landscape, greyish and dull.
He never thought of it as a prison. Just…his chamber. Like all the chambers the sandmen have, in which they wait for night to come.
This time, however, when Sabo lies down, he doesn't feel at home. At all. He's exhausted, yes, even tired – but he doesn't feel a peace here.
And that is definitely a first.
He sits up again and reaches for the book he's been reading before he left. Like all the other books it's a dream guide. Sandmen's lives revolve solely around human and their dreams, and the guides help them with their tricky craft.
Sabo thinks that he is a good sandman. Not the best, but definitely not the worst.
He listlessly flaps through the pages. Normally, he would've focused on reading, since reading is the only pleasure they get other than working and performing the things they were created for.
This time, however, Sabo doesn't find it in himself to concentrate.
He rubs his eyes. Sandmen don't eat, don't drink, they just rest and work and rest again and work again. That's it.
That's how their lives are filled and up till now he thought it's a good thing, he thought it was right and normal and happy and everything is as it should be.
But now, why…
Why does he feel so empty?
What's going on with me…?
Maybe it's got something to do with what that stupid imp said to him. Well, what does she know about being a sandman, imps are assholes and have no purpose except troubling those around them, she has no idea what it's like to be useful and do something good and making humans happy, she has no idea…
Humans are such amazing creatures.
Luffy is the best example.
His memories are so full of light and laughter and lovely silliness, they're kind and brave, they help each other without demanding anything in return, they have goals and ambitions, when they meet hardships they continue on their path, even when they get hurt they don't stop, they get better and then keep moving on.
Whatever happens to humans, nothing can stop them. They travel to other planets, they write books and create a whole new world on their own, they puzzle out all these little secrets that make their world how it is.
And Sabo thinks that is so incredibly admirable and amazing, because a sandman's world is two-dimensional at best, they have a purpose and that is all there is to his kin.
But humans…their world is as complex as the universe itself and Sabo feels honoured to be able to reach into their memories, to create their dreams for them and make them happy despite their complicated lives.
It's truly amazing.
He feels a little better now. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. He really shouldn't be bothered by what that imp said. Tomorrow night he'll see Luffy again and he'll make him happy and it's all good and Sabo has nothing to be sad about.
He leans back into his pillows again and stares at the empty, sand-coloured ceiling. The same ceiling he remembers since his existence was granted by whatever forces. He feels a tugging at his heart.
"I want…to see Luffy…," he mumbles and a heartbeat later he raises his brows in surprise and clutches a hand to his chest because at hearing the name of his beloved human his heart had made a hectic leap and now it's beating so fast –
"Luffy… I really…want to see you," Sabo whispers into the empty silence and a smile starts forming on his lips.
"Luffy….Luffy…Luffy… tomorrow night I'll see you again…"
With a sickening splashing noise his dagger dives right through the night mare goblin's stomach and hot, steaming, stinking liquid of the colour of ink streams over Sabo's hands and the goblin lets out a horrified scream and then disappears. Sabo feels a burning pain where one of these fuckers bites his shoulder hard and he jerks around, his dagger cutting air and then the goblin's head falls to the ground, disconnected from his body and Sabo feels a new wave of stinking goblin blood pour over his torso and then it's gone and then he jumps back to his feet, hissing through gritted teeth and the rest of the pack of goblins growls at him, but they seek safe distance from him and Luffy's bed.
"Get the fuck away from him," Sabo growls, his dagger lifted high and clenched in blood-soaked hands.
"This is our job, sandman," one of the goblins roars angrily. "You're breaking the codex!"
"I don't give a damn about the codex. There are enough humans in this city, go and give them nightmares. Not this one," Sabo barks angrily. "This one is under my protection!"
"It's not for you to decide!" they screech.
"Come any closer and you will all die," Sabo growls.
The seconds trickle by. Sabo's hair still stands on end, every nerve in his body is alert and ready to attack and defend, but the goblins don't move, they observe him with their angry little bug eyes, claws lifted and clenched, but they don't attack.
Behind him, Sabo can hear Luffy's soft breathing. The boy has no idea what kind of chaos is happening in his room right now, he's gone in his blissful slumber and Sabo wants to keep it that way. No fucking way he'll let a goblin taint Luffy's pure, beautiful dreams.
Suddenly, the goblins relax.
"Fine, sandman. But this won't be the end of it," one of the goblins mutters.
"Get out of here," Sabo replies unconcerned but stern and the goblins, with last hateful glances his way, disappear in the darkness.
Sabo sighs and relaxes his body. Damn these little fuckers. Have no idea when to quit, really.
He puts his dagger away and flops down on the unsullied carpet. There're no traces of their fight, except evident on Sabo himself, but he doesn't care about the wet goblin blood soaking him to the bones. All he cares about is the fact that he defended Luffy's dreams once again.
As it should be.
He smiles and moves even a little closer to his mattress. Tonight Luffy has an adventurous dream. He's travelling a vast, green country as some sort of paladin, an idea he got when he looked at Luffy's books and movies. He's sure the boy enjoys his dreams greatly.
Sabo looks at him lovingly. The boy is on his back, his arms spread open across the mattress like he's ready for a hug and his face is relaxed, with a smile on his lips, and his eyes are moving behind his lids. Yeah, it definitely looks like Luffy is enjoying his dream. And Sabo's chest swells with pride.
Being able to make Luffy happy like this…
There's definitely nothing better than this.
And yet, his heart aches longingly when he feels the familiar pull at the end of the night and he has to return to his own world, and it's such a weird, strange feeling, one part of him is filled with happiness, and a different part, an uglier part, is still longing, still craving, for what exactly though he can't point out, can't comprehend, because those feelings are feelings a sandman doesn't understand, doesn't have – shouldn't have.
And yet, Sabo experiences them. And he doesn't know what to do about it. Because he's still just a sandman. And he's used all his narrow possibilities to make Luffy the happiest human being in his scope.
But why…why is it not enough?
What else is he craving…?
The following weeks are rather uneventful and Sabo basks in the innocent bliss of being close to his beloved human.
However… He's been trying to get rid of this strange aching feeling inside his chest, but if anything it's only gotten worse. And it's as though…even being close to Luffy is starting to physically hurt him, the closer he is, the more it hurts and sometimes Sabo has to step away to be able to breathe again and he's tried everything, he cried and cursed, he even dug his own dagger into his chest only to have his blood pouring out like a waterfall and he'd nearly fallen unconscious but the pain in his heart didn't lighten up, it had only become worse and worse and Sabo is at his wits end.
What is wrong with him?
He has done nothing wrong!
So why…what…is punishing him?
As he can breathe again, Sabo moves toward the bed again. Lately he's had the courage to actually sit down on the mattress. It doesn't move underneath him, since he basically doesn't exist in this world, but nevertheless, he's suddenly been so so close to Luffy and he was able to feel his warmth, his steady, quiet heartbeat and the close proximity nearly made Sabo melt with an overwhelming wave of affection, it as almost too much, but as soon as he was this close, he couldn't…didn't want to…move away again.
And so, despite the burning pain in his chest, he stayed, because everything he does is for Luffy's sake.
Sabo's love for the human Luffy is so…absolute and unwavering and sure, he can't remember a time where he wasn't completely and utterly in love with him.
Sabo's entire being is filled with thoughts of him, all his thoughts circle around Luffy and his dreams and his happiness, sometimes Sabo believes his own heart is just continuing beating because it's Luffy it's beating for.
There's no way he could possibly love him more.
Sabo's love is vast, it is deep and pure and brave and golden and happy…
And yet…
"Damn, when I watch you I don't know if I should laugh or cry out of pity," he hears the familiar female voice and he rolls his eyes to see Koala lean against the bookshelf.
The imp watches him curiously, with a hint of mock sharpening her features and Sabo watches her intently. Is she here to cause trouble?
"What do you want?" Sabo asks.
"Just wanted to see how you're doing. Apparently not better. You look like shit. All grey and ill and haunted. Looks shit on you, honey."
"Back off."
"Pff, and miss the fun? C'mon, you must know it yourself by now, you're just ruining yourself if you keep harbouring these silly feelings for this human," she smirks.
When he doesn't answer, her eyes become a shade darker and her smirk disappears as she catches his gaze and holds it sternly. And then she says the words he's been dreading to hear, the one single truth he can't ignore, because at the core of his heart, he knows, he knew it all along –
"He won't ever love you back, Sabo. All your affection is for nothing. He will die eventually not knowing who you are and he'll have led a happy, blessed life. Without you."
He bites his lower lip, but remains quiet. His chest tightens with grief and he grits his teeth as the pain in his chest flares up again like a blaze and he feels his eyes start hurting and blurring, his throat closes and he fights back the urge to scream.
"You know I'm right. I'm not even taking the piss right now. He. Is. A. Human. And his world is not yours, Sabo. No matter how much you crave his affection or acknowledgement or his smile, he won't ever give it to you, because he doesn't know you exist. And he won't ever know it. So let it go, Sabo. You're only hurting yourself."
"I'm fine if it's for him," Sabo chokes out, his eyes resting on Luffy's beautiful sleeping face.
"You're not fine. This shit is eating you up from the inside, I can see it. You're a sandman, Sabo. That's why your kin is not supposed to be romantically involved with anyone. It's why your morons are designed to be happy with your shitty lives. So you don't realise how miserable you guys actually are."
"What should I do?" Sabo asks in a low, lost voice and he hears her sigh.
"…Dunno, throw yourself off a bridge or so?"
Sabo grimaces at her and she curses. "Damn, Sabo, what the hell do you expect me to say? Stop fucking loving him and you'll be fine again."
"I can't do that!" he replies immediately. Already the thought of not…of not having his heart and head filled with Luffy is already scaring him.
"Then honestly call it quits. Tell your superior you don't wanna be a sandman anymore. They'll throw you back into oblivion and if you're lucky you'll return as a human. How does that sound?"
"But…what if I don't?" Sabo whispers, his fingers only inches away from Luffy's hand.
He wants to touch…wants to feel his skin…if it's really as warm as he imagines it to be.
"Well, you don't have any more options, do you? Either you can continue being miserable watching him sleep and growing old or try it and maybe, eventually, fortune favours you and makes you human. Doesn't mean though that you'll be able to meet him. Let alone make him fall in love with you."
Sabo doesn't reply.
"…I love him Koala."
She lets out a snort. "Yeah, I figured that out already."
"I'd do anything. Just for one second. If he'd… you know…"
"Have you ever tried sending him a message? Through the dreams? Or, dunno, write him a freaking note or something, what do I know…"
"That's against the rules. Our rules, that is."
"Since when are you following rules?"
That actually amuses him and he passes the imp a smile: "True."
"So?"
"What should I do?"
"Damn it Sabo! Am I your fucking voice of consciousness or what?!" she barks annoyed and he laughs softly.
"Sorry. I don't know what to do. Being close to him hurts. Being away from him hurts, too."
"What a miserable existence, huh?"
"…What happens if you'd kill me?"
"What?!"
"I mean it. If you'd kill me, what would happen?"
She stares at him angrily. Then she clicks her tongue. "You idiot. I have no idea, the dead can't speak, you moron."
"Maybe I'd become a human?"
"You're that fucking desperate?"
"Yes."
His simple answer has her roll her eyes in annoyance. "Goodness, I can't believe I'm having this conversation with you anyways."
"Just tell me. Please."
"I don't fucking know, Sabo! I could ask around but…shit, I have no idea, how us creatures can become human. Is it even possible?"
"Could you find out?"
Koala raises her brows. "Perhaps. I'll ask around. And you stop looking like the world's about to end. It's still turning."
And she disappears and leaves him alone sitting on Luffy's bed.
"….Yeah. Still turning like before," he whispers and leans down.
Sabo's known to bend the rules.
But with his, he breaks them all and he knows it's right when he does it, because his heart screams with relief and for a second his head clears and he presses his lips to Luffy's forehead and he whispers: "I love you with all I am, my sweetheart. You're my happiness."
He leans back. Luffy is still sleeping soundly. And Sabo bites his lower lip and his vision blur with his growing misery and his tears start falling like rain.
"You're my world, Luffy. You're my entire world."
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
Luffy
When Luffy wakes up he feels well rested and cheerful. He sits up with a yawn and stretches his arms above his head when he feels a liquid moistness on his cheeks.
He blinks in surprise and touches his face. Indeed.
"Whaaat? Did I cry? But my dream was so cool!"
Sabo
Sabo swallows thickly. His throat is parched and he tries hard to hide his trembling, but actually, his whole body is vibrating with anticipation and fear. His heart is beating like crazy and his thoughts are muddled up and swimming and he doesn't know what to say, what to do, he can only stand here.
And trust an imp.
And a wizard.
His arms and hands are tightly tied behind his back. He stands with his upper body bare and he shivers as the cold night air caresses his skin like the fingers of Death.
"Are you sure about this?" he croaks and Koala just passes him a disgruntled glance as she continues to paint a circle on the ground with white chalk. She keeps on muttering strange things that Sabo doesn't understand.
However, he does understand the purpose of this all.
Make him human.
And to make him human, Sabo has to die.
Sandmen don't actually die too easily. Perhaps in battle, but that's really rare. Normally they just exist and when they're tired of existing, they tell authorities and get send back to oblivion. At least that's what Sabo's been told.
This here.
Is against the rules, obviously. But Koala talked to a wizard called Hawkins, and apparently he's dealt with countless demons, elves and other creatures already who wanted to be something else than they are.
Sabo watches the wizard silently reading his book. The man looks… boring, for all Sabo's knows, and actually he doesn't look too different from other normal humans.
But he can see him and Koala, so he can't be, well, normal.
Koala stands up and rubs the chalk off her hands. She passes him a long glance and then turns to Hawkins.
"I'm done."
"Good," he says without looking up.
Suddenly he jumps to his feet and Sabo flinches as he suddenly strides over to him, his whit long coat flapping eagerly like the wings of a swan. Sabo blinks rapidly.
"You're a sandman, correct?"
"Y-yeah."
"And you want to be human?" Despite his stern expression, Hawkins's voice is surprisingly normal, maybe a little bored even.
"Yes…"
"Koala said you fancy a human man?"
"Th-that's…true…" Sabo confesses with a low voice and he shoots Koala an angry glance. How much did she tell the wizard? She just shrugs, but she doesnÄt grin ash he'd espected her to. she just looks at him intently and he feels confusion, but can't really pinpoint, why. Maybe it's just how imps are, after all.
"Fine. You'll die. And it'll hurt," Hawkins says nonchalantly, rolling up his sleeves.
"Wait – wait! How? What now is gonna happen?!" Sabo cries and jumps backwards, out of his reach, almost out of the circle. He almost loses balance and his nails dig into his own palms so hard he can already feel the blood coating his fingers.
"I'll pull out your heart and squeeze your golden dream sand out of it. Yeah, the stuff you normally throw into humans's faces. That stuff is inside your heart. I'll rinse your heart off the dirt. Then I'll put it back inside you and seal you close. Then I'll whisper the heartbeat back into your chest. You'll come back to life and you'll be a human. Mortal, moronic and you won't see us anymore. You got that?" Hawkins say, his voice doesn't change one bit, and his cold eyes focus on Sabo's.
"And when you're a human, there's no turning back. Remember that. It's a one-way ticket. Once a human, you'll remain a human."
"B-but it's g-gonna work? No chance I'll d-die and disappear into no-nothing?" Sabo asks with chattering teeth. Fear coils in his stomach and he feels sick.
Maybe this wasn't a good idea after all…
"Sandman, if you're scared than say so and I'll leave to meet my next clients," Hawkins says sternly. "Decide now!"
"C'mon Sabo, it's what you've wanted!" Koala says. "Now fucking go through with it!" Somehow, though...her voice sounds worried. She is pale and unlike her usual safe, there's not even a trce of humour in her face.
Just...worry..and something else?
Sabo chokes back a desperate sob. Is he…will he…actually become human now? He's at a loss, what should he do, this is...this feel wrong, this feel so raw and strange and his skin crawls with fear and disgust.
He's scared.
He is…despite his eagerness, despite the fact that he could finally, finally meet Luffy, he's scared to no end. So, so terrified, but his love-struck heart tells him to do it, to die and come back as a human, he has to, there is no other way!
And after a long moment that feels like a century, he nods and whispers: "Do it."
And Hawkins nods and steps closer. "Lie on the floor."
And Sabo goes to lie down on the cold ground and he shudders and he sees the man looming over him like a predator and he bites his lower lip. His whole body is trembling with fear now, so hard he can't lie still.
Hawkins goes to kneel beside him and he sees how Koala moves behind him. She places her clawed hands on his abre shoulders, holding firm. Sabo meets Koala's gaze and he's surprised to see her vision blurry but before he can ask, before he can react, Hawkins starts talking again.
"Hold him down hen starts trashing and screaming. I won't stop, though," Hawkins says quietly and he lifts his gloved hands. Koala's hands press Sabo to the ground and for a short second he can feel a tremble run through her body.
And then a never-ending torture starts.
He screams.
Screams like he's never screamed in his life, he screams when the hands break his skin and pain he's never known before sets his every nerve aflame and he screams and cries and pleads and wishes for his death and they don't stop, it doesn't stop and his blood colours his skin crimson and it's flowing out of his like rivers and they don't stop and his screams break and then his voice breaks and something else breaks inside, his bones break one by one and then the foreign hands breaking his body close around his fearfully beating heart.
One last horrified sob escapes his blood-filled throat.
And he feels how it's ripped from him he can hear the slashing sound of ribbing flesh and then he sinks into darkness at once.
Luffy
"Hey, yeah, I'll see you at class later!" he yells at his friends. Usopp and Nami wave at him and he sprints toward the next bakery. He's so damn hungry, he could eat an entire horse and still be hungry. Morning classes normally make him hungry and today is no exception.
He carries his purchase outside and sits down at a nearby fountain. His next class start in two hours and he still has plenty of time to laze around in the sun and enjoy his free time. He puts his earphones in and leans back, his fingers splashing happily in the cool water of the fountain and he smiles into the clear sunlight. Today is a great day, he can feel it.
He closes his eyes when he suddenly hears the flapping and fluttering of too many bird wings and he opens his eyes in surprise and he sees that a man has sat down on the fountain, about an arm's length from him. He throws bread crumbs toward the pidgeons and Luffy can hear a soft, gentle laughter.
Luffy leans forward, looking at the man. He's never met him, he's sure of it because he'd definitely remember, but something… There's something about him...Something that is capturing...
And suddenly the man looks to the side and their gazes meet and Luffy's heart starts jumping excitedly in his chest and the man with the wavy blond hair and blue eyes passes him a gorgeous smile and Luffy pulls his earphones out.
"H-Hey," Luffy says, confused and delighted at once and Luffy can't tear his eyes away from the beautiful stranger.
He's so...pretty...
"Hello," the man says, he has a pleasant voice, so soft and melodic. He has a scar at the side of his face. But still, he's so...extraordinarily beautiful and Luffy finds himself staring at him in awe.
And Luffy feels how he blushes and he smiles back and suddenly he realises how fast his heart is pounding and how his skin begins to tingle with joy.
"G-Great day, right?" Luffy says, motioning toward the azure blue sky and the stranger's smile becomes even wider and the man nods.
"I agree. It's like a dream."
Thank you for reading.
For people who've wondered, Koala was in love with Sabo. But her love, just like his, was unrequited, so she did what she could to make him happy. Even if it meant breaking her own heart.