Language Warning? A certain four letter F word in the bonus section at the end, here in Australia it is basically punctuation (seriously, we CAN say that on prime time TV), but I suppose I should mention it.

AN: I hope I'm not being too hard on Jaune, he is definitely a "nice guy", I loved Arcos. Hopefully he comes across as trying really hard but still naive and inexperienced. He is still completely mystified as to what Pyrrha saw in him, and unfortunately more inclined to latch onto romantic theories than admit it.

The late morning sun poured down on the bright green grass of the meadow, the buzz of insects periodically interrupted by a metallic scraping noise. In the shade a little way from the edge of the clearing Ren sat on a log, his stripped down weapons laid out on a flat section beside him, his arm moving regularly as he sharpened one of the blades.

He glanced up only briefly as Jaune arrived. The scraggly blonde threw himself down on the log with a loud sigh. Ren gave only the slightest pause before continuing his task. A few minutes later there was a even louder sigh.

Uttering a quieter sigh of his own Ren put the blade aside and turned to his companion. "What seems to be the problem?"

"Me?" Jaune acted surprised, "No problem."

Ren nodded, and started to reach for the blade again-

"It's just, as the leading man in our group I find myself with certain predicaments"

Ren reluctantly returned his hand to his side. "Predicaments?"

Jaune relaxed his posture and waved his arm in a broadly encompassing gesture "Of course, it was bound to happen eventually". He looked expectantly at his audience. Taking the wary silence as acknowledgement he continued. "Personal tragedy. Months out on the road. Away from home, dealing with ever present danger." He placed his hand on Ren's shoulder "Sooner or later there are going to be feelings, a hunger for human comfort. A yearning to find a little peace resting in strong manly arms. It's a basic instinctual need, no shame in it." Tuning to make eye contact again he concluded "You see what I'm getting at?"

Ren looked anxiously at the hand invading his personal space "You want to rest in my strong manly arms?"

Jaune quickly removed his hand. "What? No! Why would you say that?" After sitting in awkward silence for a while he spoke more quietly "Ruby has a crush on me."

"Excuse me?"

"She's young and naive, I'm just the top of the local sexiness scale"

"Scale? I don't think that it works like-"

"It can be confusing if you lack experience, but you just have to read the signs." Jaune moved his hand towards his friend again, before changing his mind and lowering it again. "At the beach she couldn't take her eyes of me."

"You were wearing a fluorescent green and purple body suit, no one on the beach could keep their eyes off you"

"She said I was the most attractive member of the team"

"I believe that was in the context of Grimm bait"

The blonde ignored the interruption. "All that time we spend alone together every day, watching each other's every move, talking about combat techniques"

Ren frowned. "You mean training? Ruby trains with all of us"

"Well of course she doesn't just say it, you have to read between the lines, that's the way girl-brains work. I didn't see it in time with P-" sagging a little he continued more sombrely, "uh, before. I'm going to let her down gently"

Ren make a quick mental assessment of the group's medical supplies. "If I might make a suggestion, don't explain it when she is holding a weapon"

"I wouldn't embarrass her like that. I'll do it subtly, make myself less irresistible, eventually it will be over and she won't even know it's happening"

Ren nodded. "That would have a certain symmetry"

"Hey, you!" Ruby's yell cut into their conversation. She was standing in patch of roughly cut grass at the end of the meadow, one hand on her hip, the other waving a sword. "Stop yapping and get over here. If my baby had to cut this grass we are going to train on it"

***

Jaune bent over, hands on knees, breath coming in deep rapid gasps, sweat running in rivulets down his face and sticking his shirt to his body. After a few more shuddering breaths he spoke "What was the score?"

Ruby looked up from playing with sunlight reflected on her sword, cool and composed "Two to you, one to me"

"Well I think we can call it a day" He took another breath, "Wouldn't want to overwork you ... undo all our progress"

Ruby smiled. "General weapons training at Signal was years ago, I'm pretty rusty" Frowning, she tossed her sword to the grass and turned to the tree-line, her hand hovering over Crescent Rose. "What do you think?" She called out more loudly.

"A total embarrassment. Unbalanced stance, sloppy movement, wasted energy and telegraphed moves" At the familiar scathing tones Ruby relaxed and Jaune spun around to see Weiss emerge from behind a tree. Smiling slightly she continued "No wonder he was almost beaten by an enthusiastic beginner"

"WEISS!" Ruby zipped over to her partner and captured her in a tight hug. "I knew you'd come" she whispered, squeezing a little tighter.

"Ruby" The heiress was more restrained, but after a few moments wrapped her arms around her friend in return.

Jaune spent thirty seconds kicking a clump of grass with his shoe, then, finding them still in the same position cleared his throat loudly. "Hi Weiss"

The girls separated slowly. "Jaune." her tone was a little chilly, then warmed "Ren." She nodded slightly.

"It is good to see you Weiss, how have you been?" Jaune jumped at the familiar voice right beside him.

"Dragged home. Oppressed. Bored. Bored and oppressed." She looked down at her feet for a moment, then turned to Ruby "Then looking for this one", more quietly she finished, "I- I'm sorry I took so long"

"You're here now" Ruby smiled broadly. Like a rare flower blooming in sunshine, a small smile appeared on Weiss's lips in response.

After looking at her partner for a few moments Weiss blushed and looked down. "So I guess you have quite a story"

Jaune launched into the conversational opening "We sure do! So, after we left Ruby's house-" his words dried up under Weiss's searing glare.

"I would like to talk to Ruby"

After several seconds of expectant silence Ruby spoke up "Uh, Jaune", she waited for eye contact "Alone."

"Right, I'll just-" Looking around frantically for Ren he finally spotted the green coated figure already half way back to the log they had sat on earlier, "uh, go" he turned and dashed away.

Even moving at a jog Jaune arrived as Ren finished folding up his work cloth. Catching sight of the look on the blonde's face he lowered him self resignedly to sit on the log.

"I was wrong before."

Ren's relieved nod was cut short as he continued.

"This is so much worse. Did you see that look Weiss gave me? Now that is a look you remember"

"I think I remember her using it on a piece of gum stuck to her shoe"

"It's not about the surface, it is about the intensity, the unstoppable surge of emotion that lies beneath like the swell rolling across a vast ocean-"

Comprehension spread across Ren's face. "Have you been reading those romance novels we found in the dump?"

"That's not the point. Now there is a love triangle, with the spirit of competition. Playing hard to get isn't enough, I have to step up and protect their friendship"

Ren's eyes widened in alarm. "You explain that to Weiss and she WILL hurt you. She's already-"

"At Beacon, sure, among all the stress and clutter of social expectations. Out here, in the wild, the rugged alpha male-"

"You mean ragged?" Sometimes you have to be cruel to save a life.

Jaune scowled. "They don't see me as you do. We have to view it though the lens of wild unbridled femininity-"

Nora sprang up, standing behind them on the other side of the log. "Hello Ladies!" she put her hands on their shoulders "So, whatcha talking about?"

Ren nodded out to the field. "Weiss just arrived."

"Cool!"

Ren glanced across at Jaune, then back at Nora. Wild and unbridled. He smiled. "Jaune was just talking about needing your perspective-"

"Is he finally going to let me cut his hair?"

"NO!" Jaune leapt off the log to distance himself from the excitable red-head.

"Actually, we were talking about the signs of team romance with Ruby"

"Well, duh. Cut it with a knife obvious"

"Bu-" Jaune cut off his objection in the face of unexpected agreement "uh, right"

"Just look at the body language. The flirty looks, the primping, the little touches" Jaune nodded as Nora made each point. "Any moment now they are going to kiss"

Jaune frowned. "I- What?" Turning to follow Nora's gaze he glanced out into the clearing just in time to see Weiss kiss Ruby briefly on the lips. "That isn't-. My sisters kiss all the time." One kiss was followed by another, then a third much longer one that made him blush and look away "But not like that" he amended.

"Aw, you were about to be interesting"

Ren stood up. "We should return to camp"

Jaune sighed heavily and slouched off.

Nora looked at Ren. "What's with him?"

"The strain of being the last hope for sexually frustrated womanhood"

"Now that Ruby is taken?" Nora sighed wistfully, "With you opting out, the sexiness scale says I'm taking care of myself"

***

Bonus: Remnant is littered with the possessions of unwary travellers, and even whole villages, killed by the Grimm. Experienced hunters will not hesitate to utilise desperately needed resources when they are lucky enough to find them.

Ruby sat down and surveyed the group. "We need to change tactics, when everybody arrives I want talk about what we do next" She leant back to wait.
Jaune's eyes swept around the clearing to check. "But we are all here"

Ruby smiled. "I left a message at our last camp"

"Who the FUCK," Qrow strode angrily into the centre of the group, brandishing an almost full bottle, "fills a whiskey bottle with piss"

"I labelled it 'do not drink'" Ruby pointed out innocently, "I even doused the top with alcohol"

Nora burst into a fit of giggling.

Jaune frowned. "You said that was to make a Grimm repellent"

"I wasn't going to fill it myself. 'Cause, girl, difficult," she looked thoughtfully at Qrow, "and, considering, kinda creepy"

Qrow glowered at Jaune until the blonde started to sweat, then turned back to his niece. "So this whole time, you knew"

"Pretty much"

"You could have let me know"

"So could you"