As a knock sounded from the door of his study, Zuko's eyes glazed from the scrolls of paperwork that cluttered his desk, traveling to the source of the noise. He scowled for a moment, then gave a gruff, "enter." One of his servant's entered the room, greeting him with a small bow. The Fire Lord nodded, ushering the man in his presence to go on.
"My Lord," he began, "I have a letter for you, from the Southern Water tribe."
Zuko's eyes lit up; the prospect of a letter from a certain blue eyed bender was always able to pull him out of his paperwork slump. It had been three years since he'd seen the waterbender. Ever since he'd been coronated, he'd begun to busy himself with trying to rebuild and stabilize his post-war torn country, an effort he was still trying to achieve. However, with the letters she sent him, constantly updating him on the runnings of the Southern Water Tribe, how their sisters from the north had been greatly helping them turn their once village into a bustling town, he was able to maintain a trace of sanity while being separated from the girl.
Usually.
The young lord nodded again, taking the scroll from the servant. Once the man had left the room, Zuko leaned back in his chair, and he unfurled the letter. His heart sank when his eyes glanced over the penmanship of the letter; it wasn't Katara's graceful writing, but the scratchy characters of her brother. He shook himself mentally, he was still pleased with the letter for it had been awhile since he'd heard from the young warrior.
But as he read over the heading, his small grin turned into a worrisome frown.
No "Dear Jerkbender" or "Lord Hotman" greeted him, but a stiff "Fire Lord Zuko" is what headed the letter. His heart seized as his brow furrowed. Sokka being serious was never a good sign.
I'm writing this letter to inform you about a mishap that has occurred in my tribe. It seemed that while my father was out with his men on patrol of the waters, that he was murdered by a group of 3 firebenders. I am not writing this out of malice towards you specifically, I have great faith that you were not behind the attack, but I cannot overlook that these men hailed from your nation. I'm wary that a rebellion is forming, and I would like to visit you to discuss this incident. We are not at war, and we do not wish to be at war. But this situation cannot be overlooked. I wish to see you soon.
Sokka, Chief of the Southern Water Tribe
Zuko blinked at the letter, his breathing becoming labored, heat beginning to swell around him as his heart raced. His grip grew firmer on the letter, the parchment crinkling beneath is fingers and it was an amazing feat that he managed not to turn the letter to ashes.
A flood of emotions passed over him. Anger that his nation was betraying his orders of ending the war, grief that Hakoda had been murdered.
And agony and despair that Katara had lost her dad. His heart clenched in denial, a no no no chanting in his head. Katara, who had been too kind and gentle to have been born into a world of war. Katara, who was too compassionate to have lost her mother so young. Katara, who he'd gone with to seek out her mother's killer.
A breath hitched in his throat as his eyes widened at the flurry of thoughts that spurted into his head.
Katara, who had resented him for being Fire Nation when he joined with them and the Avatar, who only forgave him when they went to find Yon Rha. The angst against his nation, against him...would it come back?
No, he wouldn't allow for it. As desperately as he craved for more, he couldn't live without her friendship, her kindhearted letters, the only girl he'd ever opened up to about his mother. He had Aang and Sokka, and of course his uncle, but he needed Katara.
He set the letter down, rubbing his hands over his face as he heaved a sigh. He would find the men, and he would kill them. Katara hadn't been able to kill Yon Rha, and if she couldn't kill her father's murderers when they found them, he would kill them himself. He wouldn't allow for the people who hurt Katara to have a pulse, that much he knew. Even as much as it pained him that he didn't have a claim on Katara, her happiness and joy, it was his joy as well.
Smoothing out his face to it's usual stoic expression, he gathered himself and swiftly made his way out of his study.
He had preparations to make.
break
It's funny how things change.
Not even 4 years ago, was Katara still crying from the loss of her mother. Not every day, but her death, her murder, it still pained her. And now her dad was gone. And she was too numb to cry, even with that day, a week ago now, still fresh in her memory.
It was a warmer day, by arctic standards, the rich blue sky painted with streaks of gold by the glowing sun. She was in their house, giggling at the stupid jokes Sokka was cracking at Suki. The warrior had just arrived, fresh from Kyoshi Island (sans makeup), and was making up for the lost time between her and Sokka. Katara offered to excuse herself, in case they had anything else in mind, but Suki insisted she stayed.
"You're like my sister, Katara, I've missed you as well!" she would say, her eyes bright, a warm grin plastered on her face. But it was a genuine smile, not one out of mock politeness, and she accepted the offer to catch up with one another.
As Sokka was wiping the tears from his eyes, cracking himself up more than he was the girls, they heard a scream yelling the Southern children's names.
Bato rushed in, shocking the children as he leaned over, hands on his knees, catching his breath.
"Ka..tara...Sokka...your father…"
Katara looked at her brother, his eyes laced with as much fear and shock as hers were. They bid Suki a rushed farewell, and ran after Bato towards the harbor.
Racing over the newly built ice bridges and paths - Katara freezing the water along some of the canals so they could get around faster - Katara's heart was struck with agony and confusion, hope that their father was okay, hope that Bato's wide eyes didn't mean what she thought it meant, that he was joking, that nothing was really happening that needed their attention, hoping for anything but what she was about to see.
As they reached the port, they saw some of the other men, benders and non benders, carrying her dad off the boat.
He looked like a rag doll. He looked…
She shook her head, fighting the tears that strained at her eyes. She didn't want to believe it. No, she couldn't believe it. He was okay, he had to be.
He was all she had left. All they had left.
Her hands gloved with water, she rushed through the men, but when she saw her dad, she became as frozen as the blood stained snow surrounding them.
Her father, her strong, caring, loving father, bleeding all over the snow, scorch marks and bloody gashes covering his skin. His eyes were closed, and the waterbender didn't want to believe that the rise and fall of his chest was just her desperate mind playing tricks on her.
With a push from Yue, she imagined, she leaned down to her dad, tears seeping down her cheeks and into his burns. She immediately placed her hands over him, the water glowing as she tried to mend the wounds.
"What happened to him?!" she shrieked through her tears, "What happened to him?!"
"Attacked by firebenders-."
"Shocked with lightning-"
"One of them, weird fire, almost like stone-!"
Chaos erupted around her, pained cries and screams filling her ears, but it seems like a buzz. She couldn't see anything but her dad, hear nothing but her gasping tears.
With shaky hands she moved them across his body, praying that somehow, some way…
But it was no use. It was too much, she was too late.
No no no no no no no no
Her eyes lit up when his eyes fluttered open for a moment, a forced rasp escaping his mouth. Blood followed it.
With the last of his strength, he met his daughter's distraught eyes, and he smiled.
"Kya…"
And he was gone.
She didn't exactly remember what happened next. It was a blur of blue clothed men, screaming and shouting about what to do, who to kill, how to find them. A thirst for revenge. Struck still with shock, her body numbing, there was only one thing she could remember.
All eyes turned to Sokka. The new Chief of the Southern Water Tribe.
Still, as Katara looked across the crisp blue ocean from her perch on the edge of the southern arctic, she felt the same numb feeling devoured her body, a blank stare glazed over her eyes. She pulled her knees closer to her body, sighing into her thick pants. She loved the arctic, the snow, being surrounded by her element. But the arctic was her home, and her home reminded her of…
"Katara."
Katara jumped slightly, as she turned to whoever had broken her isolation with a scowl furrowed on her face. Her expression softened, however, when she saw her brother looming behind her. Two weeks ago she would've been able to recognize his lighthearted voice from across their growing town. But since a week ago, his voice had grown a strangled, dark tone that was so...not Sokka.
She longed for his jokes, his goofyness, even his sexist comments that would lead to a small tiff but eventually an apology from Sokka and a laugh from her and Suki. But that was gone as he took up his role of Chief and grieved for the loss of his dad. Their dad.
"We're leaving for the Fire Nation tonight. I sent word to Aang a week ago, he'll be here soon to bring us."
Sokka's statement pulled Katara out of her thoughts, as she stood up to approach him. She remembered him briefing her on how they'd need to go to the Fire Nation to discuss...the incident, but she hadn't realized it would be so soon. Part of her was torn about leaving, leaving her grieving family and friends behind. But, part of her was relieved, to leave the Tribe, to be reunited with Aang, Toph, and Zuko again.
Zuko. Zuko, who had led her to her mother's killer, Zuko, who had comforted her in Ba Sing Se. Zuko, who knew was loss was like, to grieve, to hurt, to want revenge. To want closure.
Maybe. Maybe he would be willing to do it all again, to hunt down the vile men who took what was hers, took what was Sokka's. Left him with the bearing of being Chief and her…
She didn't know what was going to become of her. She couldn't feel...anything.
The waterbender was older now, she had lived through a war, she knew loss. She knew what it was capable of doing to people.
She might've spared Yon Rha's life, but this time she wouldn't be so generous. She was out for blood.
A shiver coursed through her spine at the thought of this, but she ignored it, ignored her pleading conscious. A parent taken once, she would not forgive. A parent taken twice, she would not let them live.
A spark in her brain snapped, and she jerked her head down, staring into the snow but not seeing the way the sun glinted off of it's pristine surface.
Would Zuko help her now? Now, that he had gained his throne, that he was the lord of the most powerful nation in the world? Did he still care for her as he once had, as he had when he'd taken the lightning for her on that day that seemed like a lifetime ago?
Tears threatened her eyes, but she shook her head, not allowing them to flow. She had been so weak before, to cry so much, so often, when it didn't call for it.
She would find her Father's killers, Zuko in tow or not. But she hoped, she hoped he would come along once again.
break
The young lord stared down into his teacup, steam rising from the dark liquid inside. He hadn't taken a sip yet, but he'd known it was bound to be flavorful. It was his uncle's brew after all.
He was sitting in his uncle's room, legs folded, perched on a cushion. It wasn't his uncle's permanent residence, but he had modeled one of the guest room's to the former general's liking, a room he could stay in whenever he came to visit his nephew. Not surprisingly, the decor was taken from all 4 nations. Traditional Fire Nation red paint stained the walls with a gold trim, the bedspread blue and the bed itself was carved in the style the Air Nomads prefered (he had to have Aang's assistance for that one), and the dresser was one he had purchased directly from Ba Sing Se, the metallic greens prominent against the red walls behind it. It was so like his uncle to do something as such. He had once been a general trying to conquer the city he currently sold his tea in. A complicated past that ran in the family, he supposed.
"Zuko, you haven't touched your tea. Do you believe my tea skills have diminished along with my hair?" his uncle chuckled, rubbing the ever growing bald spot that shined on his head.
While Zuko's intense expression didn't change, he looked up to the older man, and spoke with a soft voice.
"I'm just worried about how to deal with my visitors."
Iroh's smile grew, empathy in his eyes. "It's been a few years, my nephew, but they're still your friends. And your friends that have suffered a great loss and a great change. I'm sure you can sympathize with such an occurrence."
Zuko scowled back into his cup, images of his mother's last goodbye and Ozai leaning over him, fury marking his face. The steam in his cup grew as his frown deepened, anger rising in his chest.
He set the cup down before it could come to a boil, burying his face into his hands. Yes, he knew loss, he knew the anger that came with it. And so did Katara.
Would she be angry with him? Would she blame him for the loss of her dad? The thought hadn't left his mind since he'd received the letter, for if his worries came true, he would need to figure out how to make her forgive him again.
Along with this thought always came anger, anger because it wasn't his fault, he was not to blame, and why should he care so much about what a water tribe women thinks?
But he did care. He cared far too much.
And what about her brother, the new Chief? He'd said he wanted to discuss the matter, but did discussing mean attacking him and his nation?
He didn't need this, he didn't need it at all! He was trying to run a nation with a group of advisors who didn't completely trust him, even all these years after the former Fire Lord had been defeated by the Avatar. Along with that, his nation hadn't completely recovered from it's post war depression, an effort that was making significant progress now that trade was open with the other nations, but it still wasn't what it was, what he wished it to be.
And now a young new Chief was coming to his nation, his palace, and to demand…?
"Nephew."
Zuko looked up again at his uncle, a soft, small smile drawn across his aged cheeks. "They know you, Zuko, they know the man you are. I'm sure they don't blame you for the incident."
"But what if-"
"But nothing, Zuko. Your friends will be here soon, some time today if I recall. For now, don't dwell on what might be. Wait until you know what is real, and what is useless fear."
The Fire Lord nodded, a bit of worry dusted off his shoulders, but not all of it. He knew his wise old uncle was right, as he so often was, but his fears were hard to rid.
He needed to see her. He needed to know what she thought of him, what her mind was. His heart ached, his head weak. He just had to know
break
The wind rippled through her hair as the waterbender soared through the sky, painted with vibrant orange, yellows and magentas as the sky bison made it's way through the dawn lit sky. Her long locks flew loose from her head. She couldn't have been bothered to tie it up in a braid or form her signature hair loops. It was a childish look, anyway. And she was no child, not anymore.
She leaned back onto the saddle, viewing the group, her friends, around her. Aang sat on Appa's head at the reins. Toph was slumped in a corner. Suki was sprawled across Sokka, who was snoring with an open mouth, a bit of drool falling down his chin.
In the past, Katara probably would've scoffed at this, but now, she smiled softly. In his deep sleep, Sokka looked as he had back when they were traveling. He looked like himself, the brother she knew, not the grief driven chief he had become.
The waterbender then cast her gaze towards the young monk, his shoulder slumped over as he gripped the reins of his furry friend. She stood up slowly, as to not wake the others, and made her way over to him.
When her eyes met his, the young avatar drew upon a smile.
"You seem tired," Katara started, "I can ride Appa if you want."
Aang smiled at the offer, but shook his head. "We're almost there anyway, I'm okay."
Katara smiled for a moment, but as it turned to a small from, the Avatar furrowed his brow with worry.
"Are you okay?"
She looked deeper into his pale eyes, seeing the way she was looking at him. Partly with true worry, but partly with...longing. Desire.
Katara parted her lips to speak, but before she could a soft hand fell onto her cheek, pulling her in closer.
She sighed, pulling away as a disappointed from fell over her friend's face.
"I know." He simply stated.
Ever since their kiss in Ba Sing Se after the battle, Aang had assumed that the waterbender was as in love with him as he was with her, and that they were going to be together. They'd kissed a few times and exchanged small touches when Aang was around, but Katara had always told him she wasn't ready to commit to anything. It hurt the airbender to know this, but he was persistent, trying to change her mind, to allow them to become a couple. But more so now, with her loss, the waterbender was more confused than ever, and what she needed was Aang's friendship. Not his romance.
The monk sighed, looking back into Katara's blank expression.
"Are we ever going to be together?" Aang asked with a pained crack in his voice.
Annoyance rumbled through her, but she sighed. She knew she was hurting him. But what could she do?
"I don't know Aang. Unless something changes, I don't think so."
"I'll always love you, Katara. I'll always wait for you. I'll always fight for you. We'll be together one day."
With that, she turned with a huff, and crawled back towards the saddle.
Once even Toph had arisen from her slumber, disgruntled as she usually was, and the sun hung brightly just over the dormant volcano, they made their descent down into the front courtyard of the Royal Palace. Appa landed in the lush grass with a yawn, the guards surrounding them looking at the beast with a mix of fear and bewilderment.
Aang hopped off the bison with a laugh, the others following suit as they disembarked from the saddle. As they did, the grand palace doors opened, revealing Iroh and Zuko making their way towards them.
Sokka was the first to approach them, bearing Suki at his side. Katara looked over at them, her stomach gripped with anticipation as to what Sokka would say. Who he would be in front of their friend.
To her dismay, Sokka gave a stiff bow, offering a hard "Fire Lord Zuko" as a greeting. The waterbender's shoulders slumped. She had hoped for a "Lord Jerkbender", "Sir Hotman", anything that reminded her of the brother she had known a month ago. But there was no goofy smile stretched across the young Chief's lips as he greeted Zuko.
The young lord himself had also expected a joke out of the warrior's lips, for a shocked expression twisted across his face. But quickly, he composed himself, offering his own bow, with a "Chief Sokka".
Katara stepped to approach him, but Toph beat her to it, throwing him a punch on the arm.
"Been awhile since I've seen ya, Sparky, I'm liking the hair!" she said with a smirk.
Zuko only rolled his eyes, before he retorted, "I'm not falling for that one anymore, Toph."
The earthbender snickered, as she jabbed a finger at him, "Hey! Let me have my fun. You still owe me for burning my feet!"
Zuko scowled at her, his voice rising, "That was three years ago Toph, I already made it up to you!"
The anger in his voice only made her laugh louder, as she snickered off, muttering something like "and with my burned feet I still kicked your ass."
Zuko ran a hand over his face as the young Avatar came to greet him. Aang offered him a formal greeting, although his usual crooked smile stretched across the monk's face.
As Aang shifted off to greet Iroh, the piercing golden eyes of the Fire Lord fell onto Katara. She hitched a breathe at his intense gaze, and instead let her own eyes take in the rest of him. He was still the same Zuko who'd come to make amends that day so long ago at the Western Air Temple, though he was taller now, and much more filled out. Even with his topknot and crown in place, the waterbender could still tell his hair had been growing.
Her eyes fell onto his chest, and a blazing memory clouded her thoughts. Azula, her lightning, her blue eyes wide with fear.
And then the lightning was gone. And Zuko was convulsing on the ground, electric shocks coursing through him.
Her heart heavy with emotions of that day, she walked toward Zuko, and pulled him into a firm embrace.
Zuko stiffened at the shock of her actions, heat running to his cheeks. But too soon after he had made sense of her action and returned the hold, she pulled away, just as she did when they came back from Yhon Ra.
But when Zuko met her face again, he frowned. Her cobalt eyes were not full of their normal glow, her mouth was set into a straight line, and bags sagged under her eyes. She was tired. Oh, so tired. Seeing her in such a state made the firebender's heart wheeze.
He furrowed his brow, now into that of confusion, as she saw her walk towards her brother, not the Avatar.
Before he could come to his senses about the situation and what he should be saying, Iroh approached the Southern Water Tribe siblings, resting a hand on each of their shoulders.
"I never knew Hakoda, really," the former general started, offering them a small smile, "but if I've learned anything from my nephew, and through your own actions, it's that you're both children your father was extremely proud of, just as I was my own son, and as I am for my nephew."
Sokka gave him a small nod, and Katara offered him a quick hug.
Sokka then turned to the Fire Lord, his expression grave. "I wish to discuss these matters as soon as possible."
Zuko held up a hand, as he started, "I've already made the arrangements. Tomorrow we can meet with my council of advisors to discuss and look into the...attack, and we'll go from there."
Sokka nodded and turned to Suki, as bewilderment danced in the Fire Lord's mind.
This was not the Sokka he knew. No jokes, no goofy smile, no...nothing. It was clear that the sudden bearing of being chief had worn on Sokka, and the death of his dad had ripped something out of him. Ripped something out of him and his sister.
Zuko turned to Karata, who was having something whispered into her ear by the blind earthbender. Toph let out a cackle at whatever she had said, and the waterbender had tried to put on a genuine laugh for her, but it was to no avail. She looked so...empty. And it pained Zuko, something deep inside him was twisted and torn, his head clouded with worry. All he desired was to take the girl into his arms and hope that would somehow take the pain away. But he knew it wouldn't.
Though with the embrace he had been offered, he thought that maybe, there was still hope.