DUDE LEGACY
The Dude and Walter were stoned. Stoned out of their motherfucking minds. "Woah this is some good shit," the Dude said and laid back in his chair. The Dude, who was known by many as the most laid back person in Los Angeles County, was not worried about much. The day had been pretty damn easy. A white russian here, a short shower there. And then Walter had come by. Life was pretty damn good.
Then the room started spinning and things were not so damn good.
"Woah dude," the Dude said. "Are you feeling this?" The room began to swirl in circles, taking on a dark blue tone. The two of them were flying through a dark blue night sky. Big giant robots flew through the air. They looked like something out of a bad video game. Upsidedown U's with red tracings on the outside.
"No way man! NO WAY MAN!" Walter was thrashing around, bouncing on some wind currents. "This can not be happening man." They started to plummet, but before they could hit the ground, they stopped. The dude stood up and brushed off his robe. Everything around them was covered in an eery blue light. Somehow the Dude realized that he had been there before. Some part of his mind had anyway.
"Shit man." The Dude was about to go exploring, but Walter jumped him and pushed him to the ground.
"Do you know where the hell we are?" He yelled. "WE are back in NAM"
"How could this be Vietnam? There's no jungle. There aren't any commies around here. Chill man! Chill. We have to be somewhere else." The Dude tried to get up from under Walter's bulk. "Dude you are totally cramping my zen thing here. Get off me!" Walter complied, but he started to sneak around, getting close to the ground. "Those commies could be anywhere." He reached in his pocket for a gun, but found nothing but lint. "DAMN!" The Dude thought it was probably better he didn't have a gun. Who knew what kind of trouble he could get into.
"Well if I don't have a gun I'm gonna have to improvise." He did a dive roll over tto a bench and ducked behind it. He popped his head up to look around. The Dude just rolled his eyes.
Just then one of the upside-down U thingies came out of the sky. A man in a really tight looking jumpsuit with light beams all over the sides came up to them. "These programs don't have any identity discs! Take them to the recognizer." The program signaled and two of the other guys came out and grabbed Walter and the Dude. "I am not going anywhere with you sons of bitches!" Walter yelled, but it was no use. They were on their way to the game grid.
"This is way far out," the Dude said as they were taken up into the machine. The program looked at him with contempt in his eyes. "You are going to the game grid," he sneered. "Do you know what that means?" The Dude just shrugged his shoulders. Walter was making more of a scene.
"You commie fucks are not going to mess with me! I will shoot every last one of you." It didn't seem to matter to him that his gun was nowhere to be found. He was trapped, his feet encased in a plastic cover that made it impossible for him to move. The Dude wished they had a plastic cover for his mouth. It had gotten them into enough trouble lately. One of the programs hit Walter hard in the stomach with a baton. That got him to shut up, at least for a little while.
They arrived in a little grey room. "You are now on the game grid," a disembodied voice from afar told them. "If you do not comply with the rules of the game you will be subject to immediate deresolution."
To the Dude that did not sound like a good thing. In fact, this whole trip had been a bad thing. Then four cute girl programs appeared. Maybe it was going to get better after all.
One of the programs turned and looked at the two of them with elevator eyes. She made a face that looked like she had just eaten an incredibly putrid sandwich with a side of rotten tomatoes. "He's different," she said and looked disgusted. The girl programs handed Walter and the Dude each a bathrobe sized cloak with a small hole in the back. They were suddenly lit up like christmas trees from the light inside of the cloaks.
"Far out man! This is like digital jazz." The Dude was highly impressed. He had never been given a light up bathrobe before.
Then two of the cute girly programs went to get two special spheres from the back of the room. As soon as the Dude realized what these spheres were, his jaw nearly dropped to the floor.
"These are your identity bowling balls." The balls each glowed with an inner blue light. "Do not lose them or you will be subject to deresolution. Good luck," she said. "You're going to need it." And the four programs stepped back into their shells and were gone.
"Woah Dude," Walter was skittish, looking around for any signs of those commie programs. The Dude was much calmer. "Hey man, we should head out that big door over there."
As they exited the armory, they found themselves on a huge stage. There was an alley with pins. The alley had light tracks going down the sides, just like the tracks on those far out programs. The Dude realized that they were going to have to bowl for their lives.
"Far out man, Far out!"