Ok so this is loosely a crossover between Twilight and the soap opera Passions. Special thanks to my beta justme317, she's the driving force behind my writing in fan fiction world. Love ya, dude!

I own nothing.

1

bpov

I walk into my office with my head held high. To the outside world, I'm the successful bitch without a care in the world. To those who really know me, I'm broken.

I refuse to make eye contact with anybody as I stride towards my office. Rumor has it, I think they're beneath me. Like I think they don't deserve eye contact. Truth is, I just don't want them to read what is really there. I don't want to bare my soul, my broken and sordid past, to complete strangers.

He always used to tell me I was like an open book whenever he looked into my eyes. He could read any emotion flying through me while looking within my brown depths. Years later, I still find it hard to make eye contact with anybody. Even my family.

I throw open my office door and slam it behind me. It's one of those days. My inner demons, my past, are back to haunt me. It's honestly like this most days. But today, it's even harder. Today was supposed to be our anniversary.

Five years ago today, my mother laced up my elegant white gown with tears streaming from her eyes. My friends all gathered around me and helped perfect my look as we laughed and cried. Even my father shed a few tears when he saw me finally ready to walk down the aisle.

Five years ago today, my world came crashing down.

I throw my briefcase on my desk and collapse in my chair. I just want to break down. I cover my face in my hands, breathing deeply.

It wasn't supposed to be this way. I was so set in my future, our future. Marriage, kids, happiness. I should be a blushing wife, excited about the surprises that lay ahead in the evening. Nervous about whether or not he would like the gift I got him.

Instead, I'm alone, wanting to cry a river in my office.

I take a deep, steadying breath and try to push my thoughts aside. I have work to do.

Although he remains in the back of my mind, I manage to sort through my emails and gather my assignments. As the executive editor at Harmony Publishing, everyday is a busy day. On top of editing my own assignments, directing my team, submitting their finished assignments, as well as mine, sit through monotonous meetings with authors or my superiors, I have to deal with this today.

I just want to sit at home with a bottle of grey goose and call it a day. Last time I did that, my big brother Emmett found me sitting on my living room floor surrounded by broken glass and trash. I honestly don't even remember trashing everything.

Every since that day four years ago, Emmett has forced his company upon me on this day. Even if I didn't drink, I would like to sit and wallow in peace. But when it comes to all matters of him, apparently I can't be trusted.

I pull up my next assignment by the next "up and coming author" on my computer and just stare at the screen.

Fate by Theresa Winthrop.

I used to believe in fate. In hopes and dreams. I used to be guided by all these silly thoughts in my head telling me it was fate. Destiny. We were meant to be together. Fate brought us together.

Now I know the truth.

Fate, hope, dreams, destiny are all words for foolishness. And I was the biggest fool of all.

"Ms. Swan, Mr. Swan is on line one."

I sigh. And so it begins. I pick up the phone just wishing for once he can forget what today is and just want to say hi. Unlikely.

"Emmett."

"Hey Bella, what's up?"

He's trying the oblivious approach. He knows exactly what the hell is up, but he's my brother and I have to remind myself that he loves me and is always there for me no matter what.

"Just working. You?"

I still can't hold back an eye roll as we play this stupid game. No need to dance around the damn topic.

"Heading into work myself. Wanna grab some dinner after my shift?"

"I actually have the option?"

Please, God, tell me I have the option.

His deep voice is light and I can picture his signature shit eating grin on his face. No matter what the circumstances, always trust Emmett to be laughing his ass off.

"I thought it would be cool to make it seem like you do."

I let out all of my air in a huff. Of course I don't have the option. What was I thinking?

"Fine, whatever. I'll meet you at Antonio's around 5:30. Sound good?"

"Uh, Bells, I was thinking about somewhere like Bob Evans or something like that."

A restaurant without alcohol. One time I slip up and I'm being treated like a child instead of the 26 year old that I am.

"Emmett, my patience is low. I know what you're doing. Stop. It's fine. I won't go crazy on you. I can handle a beer like the grown up girl I am and be just fine."

It was Emmett's turn to huff. If I wasn't in such a devestated mood I would smirk right now. It's hard to irritate Emmett. Lucky for me, I've had 26 years of practice and I can pull it off more than others.

"Bella, I'm not carrying your ass out of a bar tonight. Drunk Bella is normally pretty funny, that's why I spike your drinks all the time without you knowing. Drunk and upset Bella scares the living shit out of me. And I'd rather not sleep at your place tonight making sure you're not doing anything stupid or drastic. I think my wife may actually like to see me at some point in the night, too."

I really shouldn't be pissed at Emmett right now. I should be admiring him for his brutal honesty and all that good stuff. But no, I'm fucking livid. I take a deep breath so I don't scream at him.

"Emmett, do me a favor."

"What?"

"Take your gun from the holster, point it at your knee cap, and pull the trigger."

He starts laughing hysterically while I sit back and roll my eyes. I was honestly serious, and he knows it. That shouldn't be funny. But to him, stuff like that is always hilarious.

After a few minutes of me ignoring him, he finally sobers himself up but I can hear that damn grin in his voice.

"Anyway, I'll agree to Antonio's if you stop after one beer. I sware to God Isabella, if I have to take care of you tonight I will drop your ass off at Charlie's and leave him to deal with you."

Shudder. The last thing anyone wants is to be dropped off plastered at their father's house; especially if he is the chief of police.

Our friend Jasper did that to me once when I was about 20. I still refuse to speak of the tortures I endured that night. Charlie Swan seems like a simple man who enjoys the simple pleasures in life. Fishing, watching sports, cooking out. Piss Charlie off and you've met your worst fucking nightmare.

"Jesus Christ Emmett! There's no reason for you to get so drastic!"

"Actually, Bella, there is. You're my baby sister and I'm going to be brutally honest with you. Your heart is broken and you don't know how to handle it. You loved him more than you loved yourself, still do in fact.

It may be five years later but it still hurts just as bad. I'm not an idiot, Bella. I see it. And if I just leave you alone or let you let loose we have no idea where the hell you'll be tomorrow. So you can either agree to the deal or we're going to Bob fucking Evans and you're going to like it!"

I can't even bring my voice louder than a whisper I'm so fucking scared right now. It's rare for Emmett to yell. He's a lot like dad: worst fucking nightmare.

"Uh.. deal."

"Good. I'll be done with patrol at about 5:00 and I want to get out of this uniform so I should be there at about 5:30. I'm not really in the mood to be hanging out in a bar packing a badge so other people can't enjoy themselves. Now are you okay or do I need to call and check up later?"

"I'm fine, Emmett. I'll see you later. Love you big brother."

I can hear him let out a small, content sigh. We've entered our dimention. Just Emmett and Bella. No one else. No parents yelling, no wives, no ex fiances, just us.

"I love you, too little sister. Call me later if you want. Bye."

"Bye." I whisper and hang up. My big goof ball of a brother is the most important person left in my life. Without him I have no idea where I would be. Probably an alcoholic or have committed suicide. I didn't know that Emmett knew how much pain I really am in.

Maybe it's our connection. We've always been really close. When I was 8 and he was 10 our parents began to fight just about every night. When it would happen, Emmett would sneak into my room and we would just talk about random stuff to block them out.

When our parents divorced two years later, we both felt really lost. He continued to sneak in my room every night. It was like a routine or something. And we would just talk and talk until we fell asleep. To this day, we can still block everyone out. At times, it annoys our friends and family to no end, but it protects us from them. From pain.

I wonder if Emmett knows how much I really appreciate him. I would still prefer to spend this day alone, but where would I be if I did?

I let out a sigh and get back to editing Fate. I manage to distract myself enough with the book and my employees to get me through the rest of the day with minimal breakdowns.

I walk into Antonio's right at 5:30 to find Emmett and his wife, Rosalie, sitting at our usual table. Thank God. Maybe Emmett will loosen up a little bit if Rosalie is here.

"You know, for this being such a shitty day you look pretty damn good."

Leave it to Rosalie to be concerned about my appearance on a day like this.

"Well, hello to you, too."

Rosalie grins sitting there in all her blond haired, blue eyed, model-esque glory. Standing tall at 6'4 with the build of a linebacker, my big brother wraps me up in one of his infamous bear hugs. Emmett rests his brown, curly haired head against mine and lets out a small sigh.

While my lungs are being smashed in, I hear the nasal voice of the last person in the world I want to hear.

"Eddie! Lose the pout! Let's celebrate; it's such a wonderful day!"

Tanya fucking Denali-Cullen. Emmett tenses while Rosalie balls her hands into fists.

"Emmett, I need you to put me down. I can't breathe."

All I can manage is a whisper while he, reluctantly, puts me down. I grab a seat by Rosalie putting my back to the door. That way I won't have to look at them. Emmett stands there frozen staring at them while I order a shot of grey goose and a bud light. It's going to be a long night.

"Eddie! What's wrong? Hey! Look at me! What are you.. Well, well, well, look what the cat drug in."

Fuck.

I down the shot. Long night may just be the understatement of the century. Emmett doesn't even give me the "Swan look of death" that he and my father both posses when I downed the shot. Perhaps I should order another.

"Bella."

I look up from the table only to be face to face with the wicked bitch of the west herself and the love of my life. Edward Cullen.

"Bartender? I'll take a double of grey goose!"

He nods at me and pours my drink. Emmett sits down by me and glares daggers at Edward's head while Rosalie starts shaking in the seat next to me. I, on the other hand, down my double and keep my face as emotionless as possible.

Then the bitch decides to open her mouth again.

"Drinking away your sorrows?"

I close my eyes and count to ten. It wouldn't do any good to beat her ass. She stole him. She won. It wouldn't do me any good is becoming my mantra. When I open my eyes back up the wicked bitch is standing there smirking.

Then he spoke. His voice smooth in all its velvet wonder. My heart clenches so hard I sware it's going to burst.

"Tanya, come on. Let's leave them alone."

"Why the hell would we leave them alone? She's the one who ruined your life! It's been five years, I think it's about time you said something to her!"

I put my face in my hands and breathe deeply. This bitch framed me. He left me for her. She ruined both his and my life. Luckily, Rosalie interjects for me.

"Edward Cullen if you even think about opening your fucking mouth I sware to God your balls will be attached to the street light out front! And Tanya, I would suggest you remove yourself from my presence before I pummell the shit out of you!"

All I can do is keep my face in my hands. If I look up I'll either cry or scream. Both options are bad so I'll just stay put.

"Excuse me, bitch, I don't know who the fuck you think you're talking to."

Uh-oh. Now she did it. I can feel Rosalie launching herself at Tanya. I jump up to see Rosalie on top of Tanya throwing punches like Mohammed Ali himself. You go girl.

I don't know if I want to laugh or cry hysterically. Perhaps both at the same time.

Emmett stands there a minute, fighting a smirk I'm sure, while Edward rushes to pull Rosalie off of Tanya.

Edward struggles with Rosalie, screaming for her to get off of Tanya while Rosalie continues throwing punches like a pro. Her Christmas present is going to be huge this year.

Finally, Officer Swan swoops into action and manages to pull Rosalie off while managing to throw a bow into Edward in the process. I just stand there frozen.

Tanya stands up with a bloody nose and an eye that's going to be black here soon. I wonder if Rosalie would like a new car this year. A shiner for a shiny, new vehicle. I can't help but grin at both my inner ramblings and the wicked bitch getting her ass beat.

Tanya sees my grin and launches herself at me.

Hell fucking no.

We break the table under me during our fall. And it fucking hurts. The wicked bitch is going to pay now. She starts clawing at me like this is some high school bitch fight. I deck her and roll us over. Then I start beating her face in like there is no tomorrow.

There aren't people around us. We aren't in a bar downtown Seattle. No, we're at a beautiful little church in our hometown of Forks. I'm in my wedding dress that is getting ripped to shreds. And this bitch just ruined my life.

I'm suddenly pulled off of Tanya and I'm back in the present. Electricity is shooting through my arms. Edward. Edward is holding on to me right now. And it's almost enough to make me break down and sob for days.

In a shockingly calm voice, I speak to Edward for the first time in two years.

"Edward, let me go."

He releases me slowly then goes to help Tanya up. Tanya is screaming bloody murder at Emmett and Rosalie while I just stand there. I feel extremely calm in a really freaky way. I should be mad as hell or crying or something. But all I feel is calm.

They are all screaming at each other while I just turn and walk away. I left my purse and everything. I just want to get the hell out of here.

In a numb state, I walk out of the bar. My thoughts are frozen. Not a single thing runs through my mind. After who knows how long, I look around and realize I'm at the pier staring out at the Pacific Ocean. Where Edward and I first met. Where he proposed.

I throw my head back as the ocean breeze flows through my hair. The scent of salt water flows through my nose and I'm brought back to the day we met six years ago.

College just let out for the summer. One more year and I'll be graduated; starting my career. I went to the book store to browse around then went for a walk. It was a sunny day. Sunny days were few and far inbetween in this neck of the woods. I walked around aimlessly until I found this pier. I threw my head back and breathed in the ocean like I am doing now. I closed my eyes and let the peace of the ocean overflow me.

Then Edward scared the living shit out of me.

"You look like an angel."

I yelped and jumped, turning around. I blushed when I processed what he said to me.

"Thank you." I whispered.

He stood there smiling at me crookedly in all his beauty. He was about 6'2 with pale skin and bronze hair styled in a just-got-out-of-bed-after-a-night-of-rough-sex dissaray. He was beautiful.

He took a step forward still sporting that crooked smile.

"You're welcome."

Once he stepped forward I noticed the color of his eyes. Green. Like emeralds, fresh cut grass in the summer, and all things wonderful. I was officially hooked.

"I'm Edward Cullen."

Holy. Fuck. Edward Cullen. As in Cullen Enterprises. As in the richest guy on the planet.

"Bella Swan. I'm from Forks, too."

The Cullen family lived just outside of my hometown located about 2 hours away. I had never met any of the Cullens myself. The children, Edward I assume, and a girl went to private schools outside of the state.

We spent the rest of the day talking on the pier. We talked about anything and everything. He was starting law school at the University of Washington at the end of the summer. He wanted to pro-bono for battered women and abused children.

He went to private schools all of his life. He's traveled the world. Loves the ocean. And believes playing the piano cleanses his soul.

I fell in love that day.

We were inseparable after that. Spent every spare moment together. Our summer was beautiful. We played and laughed. Once school started, we helped each other study. Or helped relieved stress in the best possible way. The sex was fantastic.

I felt one single tear slide down my cheek. I don't even bother to wipe it off. That one single tear represents all that I have lost. My happiness, my determination, my beliefs. Edward. My life.

"I still come here from time to time."

I tense. Edward.

I turn around and come face to face with the love of my life. He stands there in dark wash jeans and a black hoodie. His hands are in his pockets, his body slouched. His eyes shine with pain.

I turn back to the ocean. My voice is soft and sad.

"What are you doing here?"

He walks forward and comes to a stop beside me, looking out at the ocean like I am.

"After I took care of Tanya, whose nose you broke by the way, Emmett came pounding on my door screaming that he couldn't find you. He punched me in the gut then asked me where you would be. I sent him to the cafe on 5th street we always used to go to."

I just nod once. Edward knows I wouldn't go there. He knew exactly where I would be.

We stand there in silence, soaking in the sea air. Being in his presence brings both relief and pain, simultaneously. The other half of my heart is here, it doesn't hurt as bad. But the memories of our wedding and the years following still wounds my heart. My soul.

"Why?" I ask quietly.

He knows what I mean. I want to know why he still comes here. He's the one who didn't believe me. He's the one who left. He's the one who married someone else.

"It helps bring me peace. Not much can do that anymore. Not even my piano."

And my soul soars. His piano can't even bring him peace anymore. He came after me. He looks so broken. The answer is obvious. I don't know why I ever doubted it.

"You still love me."

He sighs.

"I'm married."

"Doesn't matter. You love me."

We lapse back into silence. Silent tears start to fall from my eyes. Edward still loves me. He knows we should be together. Deep down he knows I didn't sell his true paternity to the tabloids. He knows I wouldn't tell some smutty magazine that Edward wasn't Carlisle Cullen's biological son.

He pulls my arm and turns me to him. He cups both of my cheeks and wipes away my tears with his thumbs. His emerald eyes pour into mine. He's reading me.

I close my eyes and take a step back. My face is flaming from the electricity I experience from his touch. I sniffle once and then look back at him, making eye contact. And it's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

He stands there staring at me for a few minutes. Emerald meeting brown. And now he knows all. How much I still love him. How miserable I am. How much I miss him.

His body seems to slouch more and he looks down at his feet. Taking in the guilt. Taking in my pain and matching it with his own.

"I'm married, Bella." He says softly.

I let out a deep sigh and turn back to the ocean. I cross my arms to fight off a chill from the breeze. Edward has firm beliefs in marriage. Refuses to ever divorce. Will always be faithful. He won't go back on vows he made before God.

He should be admired for it. But his stubbornness with his firm beliefs have created my own personal hell. A hell I'll never get out of. I'll never recover from losing Edward. Five years later and I still haven't dated. I'm still hopelessly in love.

"You loving someone else while you make those vows should be considered a sin. Coming after me instead of nursing your injured wife should be considered a sin. You're living a lie, Edward. Those vows are a lie. Your whole marriage is a lie on both ends. You and I should be together. You know it and I know it."

He sighs.

"I love Tanya."

"No you don't."

"She's my wife; I love her."

"Just because she is your wife doesn't mean you love her. Everyone else may believe your bullshit, Edward. But you can't bullshit me. Never have been able to."

In my peripheral vision, I see his shoulders start to tense up from frustration. But I'm right, and he knows it. He can continue to be his stubborn self and tell me he loves her all day long but I know the truth.

"Do you remember when I proposed?"

I squeeze my eyes shut. Willing the memory away. A tear escapes my eye as I fight.

"Yes." I whisper.

He took me to dinner at one of the finest restaurants in Seattle. Followed by an evening at the ballet. It was magical. Then he brought me here. The pier was lined up with candles that created a warm glow up against the ocean. It was one of the most beautiful sights I had ever seen.

He grabbed a hold of my hand and kissed my palm. He brought my hand down and his fingers started to dance around on my palm while he spoke softly.

"Did you know that a year ago today you came into my life? I never told you this, but when I first saw you I was mesmerized. I never meant to tell you that you looked like an angel. It slipped out, and I didn't realize I said it until you yelped.

And then you blushed. I was entranced, Bella. And you made me feel whole the moment you spoke to me. You've become my whole world. Everything I do, I do for you. Law school, work, all of it. It's for you. You complete me. When I'm not in your presence, I'm hollow. Counting down minutes until I return to your arms.

My whole being depends on you. You bring me to life. You can bring me from depression to laughter just by walking into the room. I don't ever want to let you go. Marry me?"

I gasped when he asked me to marry him. I looked down to see him with a ring waiting to slide onto my ring finger. I looked back up to Edward's eyes and I see them swimming in tears, much like mine.

He knows my answer right then.

"Yes, Edward. Yes! I'll marry you!"

I had never seem him smile so wide. He slid the ring on my finger then lifted me up and spun us around while he peppered my face with kisses.

"I wasn't lying about any of it. I meant it when I said my whole being depends on you. That you bring me to life. And this is the only place in the world that is ours. The only place where you belong to me."

A few more tears escape my eyes and I sniffle. It isn't fucking fair.

"And how exactly do you expect me to live on, Edward? Dark and miserable? Because that's been my life for the past five fucking years. Depressed and alone because you believed that bitch over me."

He sighs out of frustration.

"The email was sent from your computer, Bella."

I ball my hands into fists, wanting to hit something.

"You know damn well my computer wasn't password protected. Tanya was in your fucking apartment alone where I left my computer. I saw her walking out."

"Where's your proof, Bella? Show me some proof!"

And I slap him.

"How fucking dare you?! How fucking dare you stand there and demand proof?! I fucking loved you more than anything and you fucking know that! You know I'm the world's worst fucking actress and can't lie to save my fucking life! And you were always telling me how you can fucking read me like a fucking book! And yet, you still won't believe me. You don't fucking want to believe me!"

Tears of anger and sadness are pouring from my eyes. My body is shaking. I'm fighting off the approaching sobs.

Edward responds in a whisper.

"I'm not going to divorce my wife without proof. I made a vow before God."

It takes everything I have not to slap him again.

"What are you doing here, Edward? Why did you come to me?"

He closes his eyes for a moment, when he opens them, they are swimming in tears.

"I had to make sure you're ok. I could see it in Emmett's face, he was scared shitless. Emmett Swan does not get scared shitless. How can I sit at home doing nothing knowing you're out there in a state bad enough to scare Emmett?"

I turn back to the ocean and sigh deeply. My voice comes out laced with pain.

"You've broken me, Edward. And I'll never recover. And all I ever did was love you. I gave myself over completely and now I'm stuck. When you left, you took a part of me with you. We belong together, Edward. Body and soul. You know it, and I know it. But we're never going to be together. And my heart is broken. Forever."

Tears are streaming from both Edward's and my eyes but he stands there motionless.

"Goodbye, Edward." I whisper.

Then I walk away. I walk away from the core of my existance. My heart stays behind with him.

There ya have it, folks! I would really appreciate it if you let me know what you think!