Blitzens POV

Of course it would happen, how could it not? You don't get paired with someone in servitude and not become attached in some way. After what had happened today, Magnus taking the proverbial bullet for Hearth, he knew it was going to happen again. It was never in a moment of joy, not really. I guess a few times you could have considered it joy. The last time was anyway, but also sewn with a bittersweet aftertaste.

Flashing back to the other times as we walked down the dark streets to the apartment above the shop I tried to hold my resolve.

The first kiss was a drunken night after he had told me about his father, his brother.

The cruelty.

Stuck in another safe house until the Boss gave us a new assignment and we over did it on the mead. We huddled in a bed as he cried his family sorrow to me, hands shaking as he spoke. I couldn't help myself, he was so sad. I leaned in and kissed the tears from his face. Then his lips. Hearth kissed me back, but he never smiled. To broken.

I couldn't even imagine it at the time. My father loved me, how could a father not love his child? We had known Magnus a couple short years and he felt like ours. I loved him like a son. We were both upset the night he died. We had exchanged a few brief kisses and moments in the past, but nothing of this magnitude.

(Flashback series!)

(The moment after Magnus dies)

Hearth was broken when he saw the Valkyrie in the sky coming forth . We had retrieved his physical body from the water and laid it where the police could find it. It took forever to get Hearth to let him go. I dragged him from his body and forced him back to my home.

Stumbling in I poured us a drink as Hearth blew his nose into the candy cane scarf.

*Our son, we let him die*

"He's not our son, not really."

*Fuck you! You know what I mean!*

I shook my head at him as he signed from the couch, eyes puffy and tears streaming.

"That's not true. You know better than I that sometimes fate is stronger." I signed back making sure to speak slow enough that he could read my lips along with it.

*First my brother, now Magnus. I can't keep anyone I love alive. I tried. I tried not to love him, to keep him as a job. I couldn't! You couldn't! He died because I loved him!*

Hearths hand movements were so erratic and shaky as he "yelled." You can always tell when he's yelling.

"Hearth, do you think I'm alive because you don't love me." A tear leaked from the corner of my eye.

*I don't love you the same way I love them. It's different.*

Climbing on my sofa with him I handed him a drink and he nodded in thank you as he downed the drink in one gulp. I followed suit.

*You know why.*

"I know why you won't let us happen if that's what you're saying. I know that you feel you need to be empty, feel pain to learn the runes."

*The All father hung for 9 days from the tree. Emptied himself for magic. I must do the same.*

I brushed my thumb over his green tinted cheek, his big silver eyes swollen with the same color.

"Don't you think you have experienced enough pain. A moment of weakness, of love is all I'm asking. It won't take away the pain you have already stored. But you are not the only person in this, I need this right now. Just this once." Our faces were closer now.

Taking in my face it looked like the gears were turning in his head, weighing the pros and cons. Admitting defeat he put the glass down and kissed me. We lost ourselves for one night on the very couch we sat on. Clothes torn away, lips bitten and swollen, rising ardor and unadulterated pleasure. Wrapped in a mess of sweaty limbs and heavy after glow. Getting up from the couch he replaced his underwear and opened the tanning bed set up for him. I motioned to get his attention.

"Was it that bad? So bad that you had to leave me for your light bed?"

*No, it wasn't bad. Actually it was perfect. It was what I needed to complete my task.*

"What do you mean?"

*Like I said before, I need to be empty to except magic. I left the last shred of innocence I had on that couch. I can now become one with the runes. You needed comfort and I needed rid myself innocence. We helped eachother, that's what partners do.*

Lowering himself into the bed I just stared in shock. It never occurred to me that it was his first time, he seemed so natural at it. The comfort that I was feeling moments before faded. I grabbed my clothing and went to my room ashamed of myself. It shouldn't have been this way, I ruined it by rushing it in a time of pain. This was my fault. I turned this into something ugly for him instead of something beautiful.

I promised myself I wouldn't do that again, a promise that I couldn't keep.

(The moment after they get back from Alfhiem the first time )

Walking up the steps to the flat above the store I opened the deadbolt tiringly slow. Shuffling in behind me he signed for me to take a shower and he would make dinner. Since the night Magnus died we had shared a few more quick moments of weakness. Most of the time to pass boredom. Being locked away hiding drives you to do things to entertain yourself, it was either sex or monopoly. None of them as good as the time on the couch. Neither of us as into it as we should have been.

More like a forced release with a partner rather than making love.

The pain wafting off of Hearth was apparent and filled the room. I showered quickly trying to get back to him Incase he wanted to talk or just cry uncontrollably in my arms, he was my elf I had to tend to him. I wish he wouldn't be angry at Sam, it wasn't her fault. He should know more than most what it's like to be controlled by your parents. Magnus told me about his mother passing as well on the way back when Hearth wasn't looking. My mother was still alive even if she wasn't a constant in my life. Atleast she knew my name, and didn't call me receipt number 4.

Coming back into the kitchen he sat down some bowls of rice with orange chicken in them. I sat at the table eating with him in silence. Pure silence, like not even him signing while eating, which was the weirdest way to talk with your mouth full. Something else was wrong, he wasn't just mad about Alfheim, his mother, or Sam. He was mad at me.

"Ok, What is it. What did I do now!" I signed with jutting motions to show my annoyance. Slamming the bowl (that I hand made by the way!) down on the table he started signing so quickly o almost missed most of it.

*You knew you had to watch yourself! You knew the possibility of dying and you were just Mr. Oblivious! How dare you! How dare you almost die on me! Fuck you, seriously fuck you!*

Getting up from the table I had to pace I was so angry.

"So you are mad because I almost died, well I didn't die! I'm here! I'm sorry that I made you have to go to your dads house Ok! I'm sorry that you had to deal with your brothers death all over again because of me! Do you really think I wanted to put you through that! I never wanted that. You should have let me die! You should have let me bleed out than go back and deal with that monster!" Now he was up and coming toward me. Signing at me he was backing me into the wall.

*Are you stupid! You think I would let you die! *

"The boss wouldn't care if I died Hearthstone!" Back was against the bedroom door now and tears streamed freely down both our cheeks in our rage.

*Fuck Mirmir! You think I give a fuck what he thinks of me? Blitzen, how can I live if you die? How can I go on knowing that I don't have you to wake up to! You are mine, you belong to me! No one else, me!*

At the last sign he slammed his hand next to my head making me flinch.

"How can you say that to me? You made sure I knew that us being together is a partnership, that you needed to be an empty cup. That we can't be together, yet here you are acting like we are together. Which one is it Hearth because you are making me fucking dizzy!" Lips crashed on mine at the word dizzy. Hands roamed my body hungrily, grabbing the back of my head with one hand and opening the door behind me with the other. Moving us through the room until my knees hit the frame of my bed. I sat down with him following me greedily after my lips. Never had he shown this much hunger for me since our first time, and even then it wasn't hunger for me or my body. Back then it was to tear his soul up into even smaller pieces. Hearth had this energy of "I need you now!"

Both of us naked in moments, only breaking the kiss long enough to remove shirts. That's when I choked and backed away keeping him at arms length again.

"You don't really want this, you're just mad. Emotional. You just want to feel something else."

*I want to feel you. I want to feel you around me like before. * I shuttered at his graceful hand gestures and lust filled eyes.

"No, it's wrong. We should sleep on it, if you still want me in the morning..." he shoved me in my back on the bed. I was much stronger than Hearthstone, I could over power him easily. Yet I couldn't bring myself to physically push him away. Before I could react his mouth engulfed my length. We hadn't done this, our sex had always been straight forward. No foreplay other than kissing. I grasped the sheets at the sensation and avoided looking at him, afraid to finish to quickly. My internal battle was losing but I had to try again.

"Stop!" I pulled him off me begging him with my eyes. I didn't want a pity fuck, I didn't want someone who was only fucking me because they were scared of not having me around. I wanted him to love me the way I loved him. So many times in the past our physical relationship had been just that. Pity and stress relief. I couldn't do it anymore. Not with him.

Exasperated he got up and looked at me.

*I love you, I mean it. I couldn't before, I needed to be empty to except the magic. It's there now, the magic. It's not leaving. The All father told me I can love and work runes. That he loved Frigg the whole time, he never stopped. I didn't know that before but I do now. I always * he paused thinking as he straddled my legs, his leaking member bobbing between his long limbs. Gods he was beautiful.

"I love you Blitzen." He spoke.

He didn't sign it, he said it with his voice. Only slightly slurred from him not being able to hear himself, but clear as day. He said my name, he said he loved me. Emotion bubbled in my chest ready to erupt.

*Did I say it right? Could you understand it?*

I nodded at him, tears fresh and dripping down the sides of my eyes.

"I love you too."

*Magnus has been teaching me to speak. I want to do it more. For times like these, when it's important. Does my voice sound weird?*

"No, it's beautiful. You sound b-beautiful." Part of me was glad he couldn't hear my voice break. The warmth of his smile was he closest I could come to the sunlight.

Lips connected with my skin. Alabaster meeting the darkness of my own. Taking my nipple between his teeth he swirled his tongue sinfully and hummed with pleasure. These were the sounds I was used to with him. Little groans and moans with no real voice behind them, more like feeling than a sound.

Scooting up my body I started to realize that he wasn't trying to top me like he had the times before, he was giving himself to me instead of taking me.

"I need to prepare you if that what you want to do." He stopped my hands clasping them in his. Shaking his head no he brought a hand toward his backside and dipped my fingers inside him, he was ready. I couldn't think of when he could have prepared himself when he signed.

*Its natural for my kind, during this.*

The green tint of blush flooded his body at the statement. I had no clue that elves self lubricated. I tested the slick between my fingers, clear and smooth with a slight pearlescent sheen. It reminded me of how his climax looked. Only that was thicker, with a rainbow-ish shift. Taking my lower lip between his teeth he lowered himself on me. I had never topped before, it was a first for both of us. A chance to redo our first time the right way.

Hearth was always warm do to his natural state of being as a light elf, his insides were even hotter. The slick made the motion easy, yet his face tightened slightly. Pulling away from his face I mouthed the word "slow." Nodding he took his time to get used to my girth. Nuzzling his nose in my beard and inhaling my freshly showered scent. Once he bottomed out he waited for a moment and then pushed himself up and used my broad chest for balance. Nails dug into my sternum as he lifted and lowered himself trying to find rhythm.

He was awe inspiringly beautiful like this. My breath escaped me trying to take it all in. I reached for his hips to guide him. Keep him steady while he got used to the feeling of me breaching him. I moved my hips upward in a slight angle and I saw his eyes pop open and glow silver. That had never happened before, atleast I don't think they did, we didn't often face the other during sex. A sharp intake of breath and his mouth parting made me feel like I had done something right. Nodding at me as if to cue we increased speed and I took everything he was offering. A thumb traced over my lips as a litany of heavy breath and erotic gasps filled the silence.

It's funny, we are always silent. Yet it never feels quiet when hearth is with me.

I felt his knees tremble as I held them. Moving my hands to his waist I gripped hard enough to turn our position. Rocking on top of him picking up the pace of our love making. I had never heard him make noise like this. Sitting up and bringing his legs around me I signed.

"I love the noises you make."

*Im not making noise*

"Yes you are!"

*What noise was I making?*

I have him a particularly sharp thrust causing him to whine.

"That noise." I brought his hand to his throat so that he could feel it and thrust again. A shocked look covered his face.

*Do I always make noise when we do this?*

"Babe you make noise when your doing it by yourself, I've caught you in your light bed many times." He blushed and clutched his throat in embarrassment.

*I wish I could hear you*

"You aren't missing much. It's just me saying yes yes yes oh my gods yes."

*You're lying*

"Never."

I grabbed the base of his cock and stroked him to my rhythm.

"Does it hurt?"

*No, we should have done it this way sooner. I think I prefer it this way.*

"However you need it love, I always give you what you need." Leaning down I teased the seam of his lips with my tongue. Meeting me back with the same vigor I picked the pace up even more. I could tell he was close and I wasn't far behind him. Raking his fingernails down my shoulder blades, I felt blood rise to the surface of my skin as he almost pierced it. The red wings of Cupid my mother calls them.

With a violent jolt and squeal I saw his eyes glow that fierce silver as wetness painted our torsos. Gasping for air he clenched around me locking me inside him. I shuttered out my orgasm with a deep moan in my chest, he held his palm to it so he could "hear" me.

I rolled off him with a quick kiss. I expected him to go straight to his light bed as he had so many times before. Instead he came back from the bathroom with wet wipes. I assumed he cleaned himself in the bathroom, after he cleaned my chest and stomach he tossed the remnants to the side and cuddled close to my chest falling asleep. It wasn't the first time we fell asleep in eachothers arms, but it was the first time after making love.

(Back to the present.)

As much as the last time meant to me, it was still bitter sweet. It arose from anger and fear. We hadn't touched like that since. Sure the other types of intimacy grew. Hand holding, kisses, nighttime cuddles. Those increased majorly. Yet we hadn't made love again. Maybe because every time before was laced with the wrong reasons, but we were free now. No longer under servitude, Magnus beat Loki, the quest was finished. That was different, but if we made love tonight it would still be because he was sad. His father was gone.

Hearth got plenty of sunlight in Midgard, so when he joined me in the shop flat he didn't need a light bed. The windows were AV proofed for me so that we didn't have to black them out. Still tired from the trip from Valhalla he landed on our bed in a heap with all his clothes still on.

*Undress me, can't move* a smile played on his lips as he signed. I laughed and started undoing his biker boots. It was always fun undressing him. Layer after layer of black peeling away to a glowing alabaster white with a green tinge. Still smelling fresh from the clean up on floor 19, he wore bright lime green underwear that were so striking in their color it almost gave me a seizure.

"Must you wear those? I can make you something much more aesthetically pleasing."

Instead of replying he just took them off. Looking stunning as he laid gloriously naked on my red satin sheets.

*Better?*

"You naked is always better."

A small coo escaped his chest. Sitting up he motioned for me to come closer for a kiss. Soft lips met mine as I undressed for bed. Rolling into his stomach with his elbows propping him up he watched me like his favorite TV show.

"What do you think of Alex? Good enough for our boy?"

*Yes, she has loved him since the wedding. She keeps him on his toes, keeps him from being lazy. Plus they get the luxury of actually killing eachother when they fight. Good way to break tension when you can just resurrect. They are cute together. I give it six months before their suites join up.*

I grabbed at a pair of silk PJ bottoms as he signed.

*Why are you grabbing those?*

"I always wear these to bed."

*Dont, join me like this.*

"You trying to start something?"

*Yes. I think it would do us both good.*

"Hearth, I love you. You know I love you, but I can't keep doing this while we only have sex when your sad dance." He frowned at me and sat up and scooted to sit at the edge of the bed. The growing erection between his legs didn't help my focus.

*Im not sad. I'm happy. I want to have happy sex.*

"Your father."

*Don't ruin my boner by bringing him up. *

"You are sad, so you want to fuck because your sad."

*I want to fuck, because I think you look good naked. I also love you. Now that everything will be slowing down we can do this more often. I've only waited so long because things kept getting in the way. We were never alone, not really. Not like this. Come on don't you want me to make you feel good?*

"You always make me feel good." I straddled his lap naked pushing him half down on the bed.

*Then shut up and fuck me*

Sometimes it takes time to get what you want, but great things come to those who wait. I waited, and now I was going to be able to love Hearth and have him love me back. Nothing worth having in these worlds comes easy, but damn if the payoff wasn't worth it.