The Kingdom Hearts Cast's response to 8-13-09:

Hi, I'm Arxés, reporter extraordinaire, here for this lovely day of union between Roxas and Axel. I've headed out to interview some of the cast and crew of Kingdom Hearts 1 and 2.

First on the trip, Sora.

Sora: "Roxas? Who the hell is that? And what's going on with Axel… I thought he was dead…!"

Axel: *Sneaking up behind Sora* "Yes, we are!! Buahahahaha!!!"

Sora: *Faints*

Axel (to Roxas): *hi-five*

My interview was cut short (by Axel, because he made Sora faint) by Naminé, when she ran in the room with Riku on a leash and kidnapped Sora. I followed her and was disturbed to find (no, not really) her forcing Riku and Sora to be her models. So, like the wonderful reporter I am, I interviewed Naminé.

Naminé: "Okay, Riku, a little to the left… Sora, stop squirming…"

Both: "Why do we have to pretend to be Axel and Roxas?!"

Naminé (with a sweet smile): Because, it's 8-13 today and if I don't post anything, you two will be at fault and I will rip out your spines and beat your fucking skull in with them."

Riku: "God damn it…"

Unfortunately, she pulled a rather long butcher's knife on me and told me to leave. Fearing for certain body parts, I did as she said.

Axel: "When were you gonna ask us? Jeez, Arxés…" *pretends to cry*

Arxés: "Suck it up… but what is your guy's response to 8-13, I mean… are you guys even gay?"

Axel: *snorts* Yeah right. I'm as straight as a rail. *laughs* Roxas, on the other hand…"

Roxas: *hits Axel on the head* "Yeah, I'm the gay one." *rolls eyes*

My session with the 8-13 boys was (again) cut short due to their hot, steamy love-making, children-scaring, blush-making, romantic ensemble that I unfortunately was kicked out of.

Anyways, this has been Arxés Wittylastname reporting.

Happy August Thirteenth.

Good night.

Gives You Hell (All-American Rejects):

(Roxas, Axel, Hayner, and Olette)

§ When you see my face, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell! When you walk my way, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell!

Roxas groaned.

Olette sighed, turning the light on for her boyfriend of six months.

He pulled on his shoes and ran out of the bedroom to go curse at the neighbors again.

Personally she hated their loud music and obnoxious company but put up with it for her boyfriend's sake.

She heard the front door slam and went to make sure he didn't do anything too rash.

When she got outside, Roxas was already standing in the driveway, leaning over the fence that separated the neighbors yard from theirs. He was yelling already.

"Hayner, it is three thirty in the freaking morning! I have work in the morning! Do you know what that is?! Work!!" He shouted.

Hayner shouted back and Olette restrained her boyfriend.

Cries of 'Honey, please!' were lost in the argument by both Olette and Axel, Hayner's boyfriend.

"Dude, calm down…" Hayner sighed.

"I can't calm down!" Roxas said between clenched teeth.

Eventually the two broke it up after Axel and Olette promised that they'd settle this once and for all at sunset tomorrow.

The party animals partied, though a bit quieter than normal and the peaceful couple slept in relative silence for once.

When sunset came, both parties exited their house, both yawning.

The partiers had just woke up and the nice couple were just getting ready for bed.

Axel and Olette grinned at each other as soon as their boyfriends started to argue.

It was supposed to be civil, but the conversation went from zero to sixty in less than three seconds.

"You wouldn't know good music if it bit you in the ass!"

"No, you'd think it was your boyfriend!"

"Hayner." Olette started. "Roxas."

"Olette and I have been talking for a while and we've come to a radical solution."

"Bring it." Hayner said.

Olette grabbed Hayner's arm and Axel grabbed Roxas and both pulled the boys into their respected yards.

Hayner and Roxas stared at each other a moment, confused, then looked over at their new partners and shrugged.

"Works with me." Roxas said.

Hayner shrugged again. "Yup."

Axel and Roxas lived together from then on, partying until the end.

Hayner and Olette lived out their lives in their little house with the white picket fence and their two point five children.

But both lived Happily Ever After.

The End.