10 Tried and True Ways to Not Win the Heart of Lily Evans
By The Marauders
DISCLAIMER-- This is not really by the Marauders. Just had to clear that up. And BTW, I don't own them, or HP, blah blah blah, etc. and I never, ever will. The End.
1. Invite to picnic by the lake--
Yeah, our dear Squiddy will attempt to eat you...- Padfoot
It sounded nice at the time! - Prongs
At the TIME. I'll give you 3 points for your effort,
though.- Padfoot
Thanks. That REALLY helps. - Prongs
Glad I could be of service! - Padfoot
Shut up, you two, and get on with the list. - Moony
2. Challenge to one-on-one Quidditch match--
She WHIPPED you! - Padfoot
I had an off day, okay? - Prongs
Once more... - Moony
Fine, then. - Padfoot
3. Throw birthday party 3 days after actual event--
Okay, NOT my best idea... - Prongs
Aw, c'mon, mate! You forgot! - Padfoot
Still... - Prongs
4.Offer cookie--
You really shouldn't have hexed it, Pads... - Moony
That was BRILLIANT! - Padfoot
Well I'm still not forgiving you. - Prongs
5. Invite to Yule Ball--
You know things are sour when she asks Snivvelus to go before you can get to her. - Padfoot
Shut up. - Prongs
6. Pass a series of detailed love notes during Potions class--
You should've expected her to turn them in to Slughorn! I seriously thought you were smarter than that!! - Moony
IT WAS AN EFFING OFF DAY!! - Prongs
You seem to have a lot of those, Prongsie, mate. - Padfoot
7. Get drunk off of butterbeer and attempt to snog--
Now THAT one was a laugh. - Moony
Just because werewolves don't get drunk as easily doesn't give you the right to rub it in our faces after the fact. - Prongs
Still, alcohol has strange effects on humans... - Moony
Like the time Pads kissed you? - Prongs
DON'T REMIND US!! - Moony and Padfoot
8. Invite to "romantic dinner" in the Forbidden Forest--
That one didn't turn out so great... - Padfoot
No comment. - Prongs
9. Send enchanted love poem--
Maybe you should've chose something else to write
about... - Padfoot
I really didn't expect it to catch fire like that. - Prongs
And that, my dear friend, is why you should pay more attention in Charms class. - Moony
10. Serenade during breakfast--
They've been laughing at you for weeks now... - Padfoot
What're you guys up to NOW? - Lily
QUICK! SCROLL DOWN!! - Padfoot
Wait- did I read that title right? - Lily
Um, NO! Potions homework! That's all... - Prongs
Potions my butt! When've YOU guys ever done any
homework? - Lily
No comment. - Moony
Let me read it! - Lily
Do as the lady says, Prongsie. - Padfoot
... - Lily
...- Prongs
Aw, James, that is the sweetest thing EVER! - Lily
HUH?! Moony and Padfoot
O.o – Prongs
I didn't know you enchanted that poem, James! I thought Sirius hexed it like that cookie! - Lily
Sure, it caught fire right when you read, "my love for you burns like an unstoppable fire," because of ME!! - Padfoot
So, you'll go out with me? - Prongs
No. - Lily
Keep trying, Prongsie, keep trying... - Padfoot
AHEM! It's your line! ... What? Read it to you? (sigh) Very well, here goes...
"OOOO I see a BUTTON!! And it's SHINY!! Hmmm... It says 'review'... what's THAT mean?! Oh well. A button's a button, no matter HOW weird. click "
THERE! Now DO SO! (pwetty pweez wiff a chewwy on top)