"Great, Father's Day," Hiei said.
"Aw Hiei, it's not so bad!" Yusuke told him.
"Hey guys! It's Father's Day today!" Kuwabara said.
"Really? I had no idea," Hiei said sarcastically.
"Hiei, you know me and Kuwabara don't have a dad around too," Yusuke said.
"Really? I didn't know," he said.
"Hiei, Yukina doesn't have a father either! He just had a one night stand with Yukina's mom," Kuwabara said. Then in a blink of an eye, Hiei's sword was against Kuwabara's neck.
"Don't say that," Hiei said.
"OK, now get it off!" Kuwabara pleaded.
"Fine." He put his sword away.
"Hiei, why are you so mad today?" Yusuke asked.
"Newsflash: I'm always mad."
"No duh! But why today?"
"Because I have no father."
"Hiei." A manly voice was heard out of nowhere.
"What the-?"
"I am your father." Hiei jumped in the tree and started beating up something. Then their friend Kurama was thrown off the tree.
"Don't even try that!" Hiei yelled.
"I was trying to be funny."
"I'm not laughing." Yusuke and Kuwabara were starting to laugh.
"But they are," Kurama pointed out.
"Really? I thought those were screams of pain."
"Hiei, don't be mad. hey, why don't we all go see Yukina? Koenma and Keiko must be busy and Botan... Who knows?" Kurama said.
"Yeah, let's go see Yukina!" Kuwabara said. He ran away.
"Hiei, when will you tell Yukina that you're her older brother?" Kurama asked as they walked to Genkai's temple.
"Because I'd hurt her if she found out the truth now," Hiei said.
"Hey, you should! Then you could act like her father and-" SMACK! Yusuke's head was hit by Hiei.
"Don't even talk!"
"OK, fine." It was silence on the way to the temple steps.
"Hiei, there's something I'm worried about," Kurama said out of nowhere.
"That Shiori is dying right at this very moment?"
"Hiei, don't even bring that up. No, it's about Yukina." Yusuke and Hiei stopped and looked at the kitsune.
"What?"
"What if she's falling in love with- Kuwabara? Right?" Yusuke asked.
"No, with you." It was silence.
"Well, I'm leaving. See ya at the top!" Yusuke said before running away.
"Yeah, that's 'if' she's falling in love with me." Hiei ran up the steps, leaving Kurama in a trance.
"Weird." He shook his head and ran up the steps also.
"Hey Yukina!" Yusuke said as he saw the koorime and Kuwabara talking.
"Hello Yusuke," she said.
"Yeah, hi Urameshi," Kuwabara said.
"Don't talk to me." Hiei was at the top and was instantly greeted by Yusuke.
"Hey there Shorty!"
"I said- Hey guys," Kurama said as he reached the top.
"Is there a special reason why you're all here?" Yukina asked.
"We wanted to tell you about Father's Day!!" Kuwabara said, before Kurama, Yusuke, and Hiei could say anything.
"But I don't have a father," Yukina said.
"Hiei doesn't, Yusuke... does, but he's not around, Kurama... I'm not sure, and I don't have a father either," Kuwabara said. Hiei looked like he was ready to kill Kuwabara, Kurama sweat dropped when he was mentioned, and Yusuke was right with Hiei.
"Well, what's Father's Day?"
"It's a special day for fathers all around the Ningenkai," Kurama explained.
"Ohh..."
"Yeah, I suggested that we come see you and tell you about the holiday," Kuwabara lied.
"No you liar, Kurama did," Hiei said.
"What? No he didn't, I did!"
"Hiei, please don't do anything," Yusuke told him.
"Anyway, we don't know where Botan is, Koenma is probably celebrating the holiday with his father, and Keiko is too," Kurama said.
"Well, would you guys like to do anything?" Yukina asked.
"I know!" But Kuwabara was instantly hit by Hiei.
"You shut up."
"Uhh, would you like to go around the town? See what's happening?" Kurama asked as Hiei and Kuwabara got in a fight.
"Well, I'd really like to go back to my village today," Yukina said.
"Sure. One minute." Kurama and Yusuke left and tried to reach Koenma. They got to his answering machine which said:
Koenma isn't here now. Leave a message at the- YUSUKE!! GET OUT!! Hey Binky Boy, whatcha doing? GET OUT, YOU SON OF A B- BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
"Uhh Yusuke? What were you doing?" Kurama asked.
"Oh... You'd be scarred for life if I told you," Yusuke said, shaking his head.
"Yeah, I thought so. Let's see about Botan." They had reached Botan's answering machine, which said:
Hey, this is Botan! I couldn't answer your call, so leave a message at the b- YUSUKE!! GET OUT!! I'M CHANGING!! Hey, you look good! You, you perv!! GET OUT, YOU B- BEEEEEEEEEP
"Yusuke, what is it with you and people's answering machines?" Kurama asked.
"Hey, you think that's bad, don't try calling Keiko," Yusuke said. Kurama shuddered and left.
"Well, I don't think Yukina will be going to her village until Botan comes along."
"True. Wait, I thought you know a way."
"I don't. Youko does."
"Can I go to my village?" Yukina asked as soon as they reached outside.
"Botan and Koenma aren't answering, so I don't think you can. Sorry," Kurama said. Kuwabara and Hiei were still fighting on the ground.
"Uhh, how long have they been fighting?" Yusuke asked.
"However long it's been since they got here," Yukina answered.
"Well, I have an idea," Kurama said.
"Huh? What is it?" Yusuke asked.
"Hiei, Kuwabara. I got an idea," Kurama said.
"What is it?" Hiei asked.
"Why don't we try to act like a father, for Yukina?" Kurama asked. "That way, she'll know what it's like with a father."
"Fine." Hiei got up and kicked Kuwabara one last time before walking away.
"How are we gonna do it?" Yusuke said.
"Just whatever she asks we talk it over," Kurama said.
"Go ahead Yukina, ask something," Yusuke said.
"Well, why do Hiei and Kazuma always fight?" she asked.
"Because he's mean!" Kuwabara answered.
"We're supposed to talk about it," Yusuke said.
"You two, don't try to fi- AHH!!" Yusuke and Kuwabara got into a fight.
"This might be bad. Let's go. Hiei, come on- Oh no." Hiei started fighting Kuwabara again, this time with Yusuke.
"You know what? Maybe having these kind of fathers are bad. Let's just go talk to Atsuko and Shizuru." Kurama took Yukina's hand and left the temple.
"Huh? Why?"
"Because Shizuru will probably be talking to Atsuko and Atsuko raised Yusuke without having a husband, or Yusuke's father, around, so she might be able to explain." Kurama and Yukina made it to Yusuke's house and the kitsune knocked.
"Huh? Oh, hey Kurama and Yukina," Shizuru said.
"Atsuko's here, right?" Kurama asked.
"Yep, come right in." She led them in the house and Atsuko was sitting on the floor, watching TV.
"Atsuko, Yusuke's friends are here."
"Yusuke isn't here," she said boredly.
"Uhh, we're actually here to talk to you," Kurama said.
"So talk."
"What was it like to raise Yusuke by yourself?" Yukina asked.
"Well," Atsuko started, turning around to face the two, "it was hard, I guess you could say. I had Yusuke at a young age and I had to be both a mom and dad to him."
"Really?" Yukina asked.
"Yeah, and he turned into a troublemaker, but I knew he was gonna have to grow up sometime, so I just let him be. He turned into what you call a "Spirit Detective," but yeah, it was hard to raise a boy like him by yourself," Atsuko said.
"But I guess it paid off."
"Huh? How?" Kurama and Yukina asked in unison.
"Well, he'll soon grow up into an adult, but when I was raising him... I don't know, I guess I just liked to see him smiling as a baby and having compliments by my old friends."
"Yeah..."
"And then Shizuru gives me tips at times when Yusuke is bad."
"Like?"
"The threat method." Shizuru nodded and smiled.
"How do you threat him?"
"Like this: If Yusuke doesn't clean his room, he sleeps outside. If he doesn't do the dishes, he doesn't eat. And if his grades are falling, even though this threat doesn't work anymore, he's grounded."
"Ahh... Do you still love him?"
"No duh! I went through nine hours of pain to have him and I didn't want him to die, so I used the threat method for doctors."
"What's that threat?"
"If my baby dies, they die."
"Every parents' threat." Kurama nodded at Shizuru's comment.
"And you would do anything for Yusuke?"
"No, I wouldn't fall off a cliff for him. I wouldn't have sex for him. And I certainly wouldn't go out with Keiko for him."
"OK, thanks for explaining that," Kurama said as he led Yukina out the door, who seemed to be thinking.
"No prob. Later." Shizuru closed the door and Kurama and Yukina left the house.
"Kurama?"
"Yeah?"
"What's sex?"
"..."
Oh geez. What every father's nightmare is their kid having sex. Well, my nightmare at least. And having to explain how babies are made. Happy Father's Day to every father who read this fic!!
And no, I don't have a father. He died when I was 3.
And yes, this was random.
