This is a repost of my very first posted fic. I remembered how bad the formatting was back then and decided to fix it. I added a bit too, seeing as my grammar is better now in my second year at University than it was in grade nine.
If anyone bothers to read this little sappy ficlet, please enjoy!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of Tamora Pierce's characters. There, that oughta cover it... :)
You said that love was just a state of mind.
A puzzle made of pieces you can't find.
And for me you never really had the time.
I was blind
Cleon of Kennan sat in his chambers looking back over the past three years. How wonderful they had been! He had been happy with Kel; he loved her, and he always would. At first she never had time for anything but practice and classes, and he had been about to give up on ever being with her. Then things had taken a turn for the better, and he had finally gotten his chance. He had thought that she loved him. "I guess I was wrong." He thought sadly. "She never wanted love at all."
No, he decided, it wasn't that she hadn't loved him, just not enough to give up all her dreams to be with him. Besides, they both knew their duty, to both the Crown, and their families. There was never any real hope for them. Not really.
And everything that you meant to me,
Is written in the pages of our history.
But it's over now as far as I can see.
Suddenly…
He knew that he had to marry the girl he was betrothed to. He had no choice. The fief needed the money. Kel understood that, and didn't get in too deep. He did though, and it was killing him.
Things are so different now you're gone,
I thought it'd be easy I was wrong.
(And now I'm caught)
And now, I'm caught in the middle
Cleon had thought he could end it with Kel easily when the time came. Turns out he was wrong. It hurt him more than it hurt her. He needed her… he needed her like he needed air to breathe.
Even though I'm with someone new,
All I can think about is you.
(And now I'm caught)
And now, I'm caught in the middle
He thought about life with Kel, then life with his fiancée. His life with Kel had been better, and he knew it with a clarity that stung. Life had been more fun with Kel around. At least they could communicate on the same level; the only thing his fiancé talked about was the most effective method of tatting lace. He was angry with his mother; he had spent months trying to convince her to let him marry Kel, but she refused to budge.
Moving on she brings me brighter days
, But thoughts of you are in my mind always.
Like a memory that I can't erase.
It's here to stay
True, His fiancé was pretty enough, and she filled the void in his heart ever so slightly. But she just wasn't Kel. Nobody could ever compare to Keladry of Mindelan. His true love. He could never forget her, and he didn't want to. Her eyes… Especially her eyes. Gods he loved her eyes.
Things are so different now you're gone.
I thought it'd be easy, I was wrong.
(And now I'm caught)
And now, I'm caught in the middle.
Even though I'm with someone new,
All I can think about is you.
(And now I'm caught)
And now, I'm caught in the middle.
"What am I going to do without her?" he wondered, tears leaking down his face. "I love her." I wish thing's could just go back to the way they were, when we were squires." He tried not to sob; his fiancé was in the next room. But soon he would be married to her, and then he wouldn't have the luxury of time alone to mourn the loss of the greatest love he would ever know.
So different, (it's so different)
So easy, (So easy)
But I can't get over you. (I can't get over you)
So different, (it's so different)
So easy, (So easy)
But I can't get over you. (I can't get over you)
Cleon knew he would never get over Kel. She was the only one he would ever truly love. He told her that the night he had told her the relationship was over. It had been hard to tell what she was thinking, even after all those years she still hid her emotions behind that Yamani mask so well. "It's very different without her," he thought. "And I hate it."
Things are so different now you're gone.
I thought it'd be easy, I was wrong.
(And now I'm caught)
And now, I'm caught in the middle.
Even though I'm with someone new,
All I can think about is you.
(And now I'm caught)
And now, I'm caught in the middle.
"There's no turning back now Cleon." He muttered to himself. "No turning back now."
Wow, suddenly I feel old fixing this, considering I re-read this series not that long ago, for the hundredth time of course. I hope everyone likes it better the second time around! Please leave a review... they make me happy!