Takes place in the end of the second book.
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Everyone wanted to see my monlnija marks. Their eyes shone with eagerness and excitement, I was a hero but I knew and felt I wasn't at all. I'm not proud of how I achieve the marks none less I would do anything for to get back the friend I lost even if it meant not to have the precious marks and be viewed a hero. Mason didn't deserve to die instead he deserved to live a happy and long life who someone who would love him and cherish him. If I could I would give up my life for Mason's any day or time as long if he lives. If I could I would even die with a smile on my face because I could see the light in his eyes once again.
I don't deserve to be considered in their eyes a hero because I didn't do anything heroic…No instead I did something that was necessary to make it alive out of there. Everyone thought it was an honor and it was something to envy. There isn't anything to envy at all in my situation in fact I envy them for having such a simple not traumatic life. What happen back there was horrifying immensely and I would trade the marks for it not to happen. Only the ones that were there know what I'm talking about and even Christian and Mia don't understand me fully. Only Eddie can perfectly understand what I'm going through at the time being. He knows the deep pain I'm going through. He too lost his best friend, his brother at every sense of the word except blood. He knows that even honor and monlnija marks can never replace the empty hollow we will feels from now on. So when they cheer for me or ask me to see my monlnija marks I say no. I turn to look at Eddie and I see in his eyes that he understands why I responded like that.
His eyes have a void in them that didn't have before all of this. Before his eyes showed the youthfulness and carelessness in them now its replace with a more mature and serious glint in them, I wish that wasn't there. I feel alone and a need for comfort of someone else who truly understands. I could go to Lissa but right now she isn't the best person to do so because I don't want her to worry about me anymore. So I go aimlessly to walk anywhere my legs carry me.
I ended up near a small pond that is near the wards that surround the academy. I remember coming here before when I was little. This was my hiding spot but eventually became Mason's and Eddie's too. As I remember the good old times we had here I see a slump figure near my favorite climbing tree. I became alert but soon realize that that the mysterious figure was Eddie. I walk slowly and cautiously towards him and try not to scare him. I sit next to him and he looks at me and registers who I am.
"Hey Rosie" he says. He is the only one that can get away with calling that because after a while of me beating him to the pulp I just got tired and let it be.
"Hey Teddy" I respond. It's my nickname for him since he has one for me that I don't like so that makes us even.
We don't say anything after that for a while so we just stare at the pond. I lean into him and he leans into me by putting his arm around me so I can get closer to him. We both need this closeness it is all we have left of Mason, each other and our memories.
"What are you thinking Teddy", I ask after a while.
"Not thinking but remembering the memories we had here with Mason and without him", he turns toward me to say it. I can see the glistering unshed tears in his eyes. As his statement sinks in, he closes his eyes and the tears fall.
"Rosie why did he have to go?" he asks.
"Teddy I don't know but I know that his absence is hurting me so bad that it feels like he took a huge part of my heart with him", I tell him.
We don't share lots of words between each other but we understand each other easily. I know he feels the same so I hug him hard and bury my face in the embrace. We sob together as we let the pain flow out of us. This is not something I do often but I feel I can do it in front of him. Eddie is the only one I feel completely comfortable of crying in front of because I know he understands and won't judge me at all. He also is the only one that knows not look at me with pity or give me the bullshit of everything would be ok.
I feel my shoulder getting damp too from his own tears so I hug him tighter. My mind goes through all the memories I had of Mason until now but they quickly change to the moments I shared with Eddie. This made me realize that I never want to lose Eddie because if I do I would be destroyed far worse than how I am now. He was and will always be my anchor in a way. Even when I was at the run he was like my subconscious telling from right or wrong. He was always the least reckless of the trio and always had our backs no matter what. He has done so much for me that I just want to take his sorrow away and him or at least something to forget for at least a while so I just act. I know I shouldn't but we both need to escape this sorrow.
"Eddie let's escape these thoughts please for at least a while" I plead as I look at him. He reads my eyes and nods. Before I can say anything else he leans in and captures my lips. It starts up slow and hesitant making sure I want this. To give him a push I close my eyes and return the kiss. I can take it anymore so I kiss him with all the emotion I been holding back. This kiss is not lovers kiss but instead a needy and filling kiss given but too hurt people. No it's just a comforting kiss of friends trying help each other escape.