"A one night stand? Is that all that was to you?" Kabuto took a deep breath, choosing his words carefully.
"I—" his voice cracked. "I desperately wanted it to be more. I thought- I didn't think it had meant anything to you, I… I guess I was trying to convince myself it didn't mean anything to me, and, if I had known, if I just were as insightful and as understanding as you always say I am, I swear, I promise I wouldn't have—" Kabuto broke off his sentence when Orochimaru stopped pacing and snapped around to look at him.
"Kabuto-kun, you- you idiot!" His master seethed. "You think this was your fault, if- I should have just told you how I felt about it, it was not your fault. It was mine."
"Orochimaru-sama, it was my fault. I'm sorry, I'm so, so—" Orochimaru took Kabuto's face in his hands and kissed him aggressively, pushing him backwards onto the bed, climbing on top of him, and Kabuto shuddered as a wave of just emotion washed over him, he couldn't remember the last time he had felt this much. And when they broke apart for air Kabuto's breath came in short, desperate pants, and another smaller shudder went through him at the sight of Orochimaru, who looked as overcome by emotion as Kabuto felt, and Kabuto felt the need to say something, anything, so he settled for, 'I love you.' And somehow enough had been said in those few words that he didn't feel the need to say anything else, until they were said back to him, and suddenly it was no longer enough, it would never be enough, and Kabuto had never been so annoyed at the inadequacy of words before, because how could he ever say enough for what he felt, what he felt now that he knew another felt the same? It was too much, it was not enough, it was beautifully disarming and at the same time that it was a gazillion other things it was also the greatest thing Kabuto had ever known, had ever dared to hope for, and he hoped, he desperately wanted to keep feeling like that, because he couldn't bear to think about what would happen if he ever lost this feeling, if he lost the man currently staring into his eyes, if he lost that intense gaze that was taking his breath away. He knew that if he ever lost his way Orochimaru would be there to help him find the path again. He was floating, drifting away like a piece of driftwood on the ocean. He was done for; he would never be able to go back to how things were before, now that he had felt this. He would never let anything come between them.
A few hours had passed, and they were still together, staring into each other's eyes, barely blinking. There was a comfortable silence between them; words would be useless for what they wanted to tell each other, and both of them knew it. Also they both felt like if they so much as moved then everything would shatter into a million pieces and just fall apart. Finally Kabuto found the presence of mind to smile, and Orochimaru smiled back. Both of them blinked at the same time, marveling that this was real, was genuinely happening, that the past few hours hadn't been a dream. Orochimaru yawned.
"We should probably go to bed, Kabuto-kun."
"I often stay up later than this in the lab, Orochimaru-sama." Orochimaru dipped his head down to whisper in Kabuto's ear.
"If you'd rather do science than sleep with me, I guess that's okay." Kabuto rolled his eyes, but the smile remained on his face.
"In that case, science will have to wait until morning, Orochimaru-sama."
HEY PEEPS! I'm alive! :D
I was trying to write a lemon, but as you can see that didn't happen. I've decided that I won't post any lemons I write on this account, because I don't want my irl friends to have to sort through my stories to find the ones without lemons :)