Sonny

'Hey, baby girl,' I whisper, crouching down so that I am eye level with the wide-awake little girl in front of me. Since she's blinking back tears, I suppose she heard every word of the fight I just had with my husband, and the inevitable beatings that entailed.

'Are we ever going to get out of here, Mommy?' she asks, her quiet voice ringing through the empty room.

'Soon, sweetheart. Soon. I promise,' I smile, trying to instil some hope into my lovely daughter. I stroke her face with my hand and kiss her forehead. I want to leave with her, I really do, but every time I try I am caught and he begs me not to take his daughter away from him, and she's set down to bed and I am threatened, him reminding me that I can't afford to live by myself and that a single-parent home is no way to raise a child.

'Why does he hurt you?'

So many questions from such a small child. Why does he hurt me? I don't know, my love. Because he enjoys seeing the fear in my eyes? Because I won't give him what he wants? Because I don't love him?

'Because he wants me to be perfect. But nobody is, and even though he knows that he can't see that I'm not. He wants me to be somebody I'm not,' I opt for the easy answer, the one she'll most likely understand.

'If nobody's perfect, why does he want you to be?'

'Because I used to appear to be perfect,' I sigh. 'You remember Grandma, how she said she was from Wisconsin? I'm from there too, and for a while lots of people saw me as a very good girl who did as she was told. Little country me,' I try to hide the bitterness in my voice. Evidently my little girl is tired because she does not persist, she just smiles and nods. She looks so radiant, bathed in the moonlight that passes through the crack in her curtains. Claire. Her name means to light up, to illuminate. Clear, bright Claire. I study her long, blonde hair that holds a similar curl to my own, the blue eyes that aren't my husband's, her button nose and the dip around her lips. Her cheeks have just the right amount of colour. She's so beautiful.

'Am I not perfect for Daddy, either?'

I frown, shocked at her question. My husband adored Claire. My whole pregnancy he didn't lay a finger on me, because I was carrying his child. Of course, I knew the minute she was born that she wasn't his. I saw her eyes and knew she wasn't my husband's. My husband. James Conroy.

'What do you mean, honey?' I ask gently.

James is the reason for five years of misery. He took me away from my friends and my family and forced me to marry him. On our wedding night I refused to make love to him so he raped me, decided that it wasn't worth it and never did it again, claiming that I should be grateful. His name means 'supplanter'. He tags along after others. Apt. He'd forced me to marry him by hitting me and kicking me and scratching me until I told him I loved him and not… He'd said, 'Then marry me, bitch,' and I'd whimpered an agreement. The next day we flew to Vegas and got married.

I whimper now as my daughter sits up in bed and shows me her bruises on her arms, her tummy, her legs. I stroke them lightly and hold her to me, rocking her back and forth. How dare he hurt her? The child he claims to love.

'Sweetie, get some things. We're going. He's not hurting you ever, ever again.'

She pulls some clothes and toys into a back pack and I creep through to my room to do the same. It looks like James is in an alcohol-induced sleep, so I hope he won't notice me leaving.

I don't go by 'Sonny' any more. I am Allison Conroy, girl with the apparently wonderful husband and gorgeous daughter. Allison means 'noble type' and I guess that to my new 'friends' that's what I am. I have the perfect life, to everyone beyond the closed doors, no doubt like so many other women on the Godforsaken Earth. James has taken my faith from me too, and left me with lies. Ex-star of So Random!, married to frequent guest-star of Mackenzie Falls. No one deduced what really happened: my disappearance, the call to Marshall to say that my mom had cancer and that I was moving back to Wisconsin to be with her that removed me from the show.

Claire and I sneak to the front door. I grab what little money I have of my own and we leave as quietly as possible. I can't believe we've finally done it! We'd left without him noticing.

'Hey, Claire. Where d'you suppose Mommy's taking you at one o'clock in the morning?'