Author's Notes:
Was on Tumblr and got this serious punch in the feels for Steve and Peggy and that deleted scene for Steve Rogers in the 21st century. So I wrote my version of the follow-up lol
It was quite the trip but he made it anyway. Steve knew he'd probably spend more time travelling than he would actually accomplishing what he'd promised but it didn't matter. His fingertips felt tingly and his heart wouldn't beat like normal, it all felt so off and out of place, like he would always be in this time.
Swallowing to push past the lump in his throat.
Licking his lips to ease the dryness.
Steve lifted his hand to touch the bell, his heart starting to race, a nervous sweat beading on his brow. His mind considered everything more than once already and he still couldn't figure out why he was there, standing on a doorstep in Winchester, UK at the last listed address of Peggy Carter. The thundering in his chest started to drown out his thoughts though that was just as impossible as there being real thunder in his body.
And then he heard it ringing, eyes flicking over to where somehow his body had gotten the courage to press the button where his mind couldn't bear to attempt it. The sound of his blood rushing in his ears got louder and louder as he waited what felt like an eternity.
"Hello?" A young woman's voice reached out and seemed to halt the explosion in his mind, quieting him entirely. "Can I help you?"
That voice. He looked at her and his heart almost stopped, she looked a lot like the woman he'd fallen for all those years ago, she resembled Peggy in so many ways and yet so few. She was modernized to the era, of course, but the colour of her hair was so similar and the shape of her face seemed almost perfect. He found that he hadn't spoken yet, her expression was growing a little more distrusting the longer he stood there in silence. "Uh," he couldn't back out now that he was here, now that he was face to face with someone of the same household. "Does a um… Mrs. Carter live here?"
The young woman made a face and glanced back inside for a moment before looking him over again, "Carter is my grandmother's maiden name, why are you asking?"
Steve's face lit up though his stomach turned at the same time. Nerves were getting the better of him and he thought maybe he should go, but there was no way he'd chicken out now. Not now. "May I see her?"
Distrusting was the only way to describe the look he received. Some strange man at the door dressed in his best, far too young for her grandmother, asking to see her. It didn't seem to fit right and so she took the defensive, "What's your name? I'll let her know you stopped by."
Blue eyes shifted then slipped their gaze to the ground for a moment, he nodded and looked back up. "If you would, please tell her a Steven Rogers was hoping to apologize."
"Alright, have a good day Mr. Rogers." The girl closed the door quickly and Steve couldn't really blame her. He was being strange from the get-go and considering his size she was probably a little scared of him. It hurt that someone would be afraid of him, that he'd be capable of causing that sort of fear in people. Though on the other hand it was really nice to know that Peggy had someone to look after her like that, at least she was safe.
As Steve walked down the front steps the door opened again, "Sir," the girl called quickly and he turned to look at her, fear and excitement bubbling up in his system. "Please, come inside. She wants to see you."
The soldier scanned the young woman's face, finding the hints of regret and partial shame she was hiding. He smiled and nodded, trotting up the steps again and giving her a gracious bow, "Thank you, I appreciate it." She blushed and looked away bitterly, evidently feeling bad that she'd treated him like some kind of sex offender before. Steve took his cue and entered, slipping off his shoes and looking around at the home. It had so many old things and yet so many new, very similar to his in that way, partially retro but nothing like it had been. He felt his heart stutter but pushed himself along, he had to do this, had to speak to her.
As Steve looked around, his eyes caught sight of a form in a rocking chair, a window open next to the elderly woman and a warm breeze blowing inside. Her white hair was pulled back in a simple bun and she was lower a pair of reading glasses from her face. Steve approached the room and as he got closer, watching the look in her eyes, he felt his anxiety melt away. "Peggy," his strength broke as he reached her, slowly lowering himself to his knees at her side.
"Steve," a wrinkled hand, still soft but much weaker than it ever been, stroked his cheek in a gesture of reassurance. He closed his eyes and leaned into the touch as the tears threatening him all day finally won the fight and tickled his cheeks in their wake. "You haven't aged a day." She whispered.
"I know," he answered softly, looking up at her with slowly reddening eyes. "I'm so sorry, Peggy."
"No," Peggy pressed a single finger to his lips to quiet him, shaking her head as a similar battle was lost in her eyes, the tears spilling over and dripping from her smiling face. "You have nothing to be sorry for, don't ever apologize for what you've done for us."
"I'm sorry I'm late." The soldier decidedly said instead.
"That's because your ride never found you to take you home." She leaned forward and wrapped him in a hug, feeling every bit of that firm muscle as strong as it had ever been, and yet she'd never felt it so weak. Steve trembled in her arms and rested his head against her shoulder, returning the hug as best as he could without breaking the older woman.
"You'll have for forgive yourself for that," Steve muttered, leaning up and planting a gentle kiss to her cheek. She was a taken woman now; she had children and a family and would never be his to hold like this. But at least she'd lived a happy life after him; at least he hadn't broken her with his decision. "Because I already have."
She laughed through a sob and nodded, returning the kiss to his cheek before leaning back in her chair again. "How long will you stay?"
"Until I'm ordered back home," Steve smiled and brushed a tear away from her beautiful eyes, eyes that had seen much more than his had and so many different things than his ever would. "But until then I'm all yours."
"You'll never be all mine, Steve, and as much as you'd like that to be different it can't be. I need you to do something for me." Peggy's hand reached over and took his, giving it a light squeeze as her dark eyes shone with that familiar fire Steve had always admired.
"What can I do?" He refused to let go of her hand, not hers.
"You can move on, you have to. If I find out you've wasted your life thinking about the past and how things could have been I'll come back down here with the others and we'll haunt your sorry behind, am I clear?" She was serious and giving him a stare that had put a good fear in many soldiers' hearts. "Steve?"
"Yes ma'am." He nodded shakily, fighting back the emotional surge again though his jaw quivered under its pressure. "I'll do what I can."
Her expression softened again when she saw how hurt Steve was, how scared and helpless he looked. "Steve, you have nothing to be afraid of. We all loved you, we mourned you like our family, and then we let you go because you'd never want us to dwell on it. You can move on without offending us, we're always with you and we'd be more upset if you sat in your apartment thinking about old things long passed." She watched his eyes, the blue clearing a little past the clouded storm of thoughts reflected there. "And I know the world is big and scary, but that didn't stop a young man from Brooklyn when everyone told him to give up, that he'd never make it."
Steve's gaze flicked to the floor and a small smile crept onto his lips, "Well… meeting a beautiful woman along the way really helped."
"You didn't know me until you were accepted, the decision to go out into the world was all you." Peggy tapped his head with a finger, brushing through the perfectly combed locks as an after thought. "Steve, you're brilliant, you're physically strong but most of all you're emotionally strong. I've never met anyone like you and if anyone in this world can wake up in a different era and adapt to it, it would be you."
"Well it has to be me, no one else has done it." Steve looked back at her, that beautiful smile in place again, the one that suited his face so well. "Thank you, Peggy."
"You needed to hear it, I think." She returned the smile and somehow everything seemed better, he felt lighter and more like himself again.
"I did." He looked down shyly, embarrassed that the first time they spoke in 70 years had to be her giving him a pep talk.
"I don't know if this helps any but it's something I've been beating myself up for never saying." Her voice sounded even older than it already did and Steve closed his eyes before having the courage to look up at her again, to give an encouraging nod to continue. "I did love you, Steve."
He nodded and leaned up close to rest their foreheads together, as close as he'd allow himself. "I love you too, Peggy." He whispered.
Time slipped by quickly like it always did and as he walked down the stone pathway, dressed in his best and carrying a bouquet of roses, Steve smiled through the wave of tears that washed his face and refused to stop for any reason. He was the last one standing at the gravesite when it was all done, the sun beating down on his back in the end of summer and though it was still hot and humid, he felt cold. The last words had been spoken to those attending the funeral, her family and what remained of her friends went home with the knowledge that an old woman had died that day.
But for the soldier, the one that had died was a young woman, beautiful and strong. She was always beautiful, even as aged as she was, but the slack grip and the weak touches were a ghost of who she had been. A woman capable of punching a man once and knocking him down, commanding respect and attention with the best of the men, and a woman who'd caught his heart long ago. Steve would never forget her and despite feeling the pain of loss all over again, he'd never regret going to see her in this era. He lowered the flowers among the rest that had been brought and stepped back, his hand up by his forehead in a strong salute.
"I always loved you." He whispered before turning away, not afraid to show his pain openly for once. Peggy deserved for at least one person to be brought down to tears by her passing, all the rest remained straight-backed and at attention as if this were just some protocol, that she'd lived a long life and they were glad she was finally gone. Not him. If she would have only one man cry for her then that man might as well be Captain America.