Disclaimor: I do not, in any way shape or form, own Bleach. Otherwise this wouldn't be a fan-fiction. However, the random human fans/audiences are mine.
Author's Note: This was a totally random fanfic on my part, but I plan to make it into a really good one! Be prepared for the song storm because there are going to be a lot. Me being in choir makes it easier to learn the harmony/parts. I am planning on posting a picture/layout of where each Espada is on the stands—you know, in their 'element' area. Well, I hope ya'll enjoy this fanfic because I know I'm sure looking forward to a fun, writing adventure just ahead! Oh and no offense to the gays on a certain word mentioned it's just how the characters feel. I personally love gay people. :D
Trouble Cleff
Chap 1—Karaoke
Grimmjow's POV
Grimmjow Jeagerjaques was currently meandering down the hallway, taking up as much time as he could for he really did not want to do his next assignment—it didn't even have to do with fighting! He really did not know what crawled up Aizen's ass to make them go through with this. What evil leader in their right mind makes their minions go through karaoke?
Oh yeah—Aizen does.
He scowled as he turned the corner to enter that despicable room currently filled with all the Espada. He was quite surprised to see Ulquiorra enter at the same time he was. Since when is Aizen's favorite pet late to an assignment? He smirked, surely little Ulquiorra wasn't growing a conscience of his own, now…or was he?
"Dude, you friggin' suck!" Aaroniero shouted to the current singer just as Grimmjow slid into the back booth, resting his arms across the back of it. He stared at Ulquiorra as he took a seat—alone, mind you—in the second booth in the front row. What an idiot! You never choose the front row for you'll always be picked to sing! Unless the contestants are nice, but arrancar are never nice. At all.
"We should have someone sing this song, even if Zommari's the love-bug." Aaroniero proclaimed, and then stared at Grimmjow, which kind of irked him at the moment.
"Hey, that's mean! My voice is absolutely beautiful I'll have you know!" Zommari defended while still clutching the microphone.
"I got an idea," Nnoitra sneered, looking at Grimmjow through those creepy slots-for-eyes of his. "How about we have Grimmjow pick up the tune?"
"Ah, hell no! Let Zommari finish whatever 'song' it was of his that he loves so much." Grimmjow replied in a pissy tone. No way in hell was he gonna pick up some love song. Especially knowing Zommari.
"That sounds like a great idea! What do you think, Stark?" Szayel smirked as if he'd just discovered a new experiment to prod at. Grimmjow growled at him.
"I could care less," Stark yawned and rolled onto his side to face the back of his booth. Lilynette was sitting in the booth across from him, kicking her legs underneath the table and sipping iced tea through a swirly straw. Such a kid she was.
"Here are the lyrics, O'Grimmy boy!" Szayel thrust the lyrics at him, earning a growl from Grimmjow. Reluctantly, he glanced at the lyrics, anyway and immediately a frown formed—quickly followed by a scowl.
"This is totally a faggot song. I'm not singing it—no way in Hell!" Grimmjow shouted in Szayel's face, now in a ready-to-ditch-any-minute-now pose.
"But Grimmjow, you're the only Espada with a heart," Nnoitra said in a sickly sweet voice—though it came out creepy coming from a guy like him.
"Bull shit! I'm just as nasty as you, Nnoitra. And I'll have you know that all arrancars have hearts—they just don't know how to use them." Grimmjow bored into Nnoitra's eyes causing him to look away from Grimmjow for once.
"Well since you're so overconfident, Grimmjow, prove them wrong." A new voice broke the chaos in the room. If you haven't already guessed, then yes, this voice was Aizen. "'I want to see you strut your stuff, Grimmjow.' Or as a slutty human girl once said—so how about it, Grimmjow? You wouldn't want to disobey orders, now would you? Then again, you always have been quite the rebel."
"Tch. Fine, I'll sing your faggoty-as song, and I'll sing it like a true faggot, too!" Grimmjow growled at Aizen, eyes filled with pride.
"Now, Grimmjow, I don't want you acting like a 'fake' up there so please 'shine' in your own way." Aizen gave his usual cloaked smile and leaned against the door frame, crossing his arms.
"Yeah, Grimmjow, dance away you buff faggt, you!" Nnoitra laughed mockingly, Szayel, Lupe, and Aaroniero joining him in laughter.
"Oh, like your one to talk, Lupe! Nobody evens knows whether you're male or female!" Grimmjow stood up abruptly and growled at the lot.
"Enough," Aizen thundered, his smile never once leaving, "Nnoitra, I expect better from you. Please begin, Grimmjow, I don't have any more time to waste." Yeah, right, he just wants to hurry back to his tea as soon as possible.
Grimmjow scowled, but picked up the lyrics and walked up to the stage anyways.
"You don't need the lyrics, Sexta; they're on the TV in front of you." Ulquiorra said coolly. So the doll finally speaks, eh?
"Why, thank you, Ulquiorra, for informing me of such a trivial thing. I didn't even know there were TV's in Las Noches to begin with." Grimmjow replied bitterly. Ulquiorra didn't even blink—still a stone statue giving his utmost attention.
"Alright, then. Let's get this show on the road dirty babies!" Grimmjow grinned like a giddy girl to the crowd. Yep, he meant it when he spoke of singing like a true faggot. "This one's for you, Ul-qui-orrrrrrr-a~!" he pointed and winked to Ulquiorra at this, who wasn't even phased. Though surely he must've felt everyone's eyes on him—smiling eyes. He shuddered at their creepiness. Oh well, might as well get this party started. At least there were rap parts in it, he didn't think he could stand acting gay for the whole song.
Ulquiorra's POV
Ulquiorra was a bit surprised to see that Grimmjow was able to keep with the happy act if he knew Grimmjow better then he was really scowling inside, just waiting for the end…
My Heart's a Stereo
Beats for you so listen close
Hear my thoughts in every no-o-ote
Make me your radio
And turn me up when you feel low
No one can sing a song like that and not feel embarrassed—not even him. Ulquiorra shuddered inwardly at the thought of having to go up there and sing that embarrassing tune. Grimmjow was also obviously having a hard time singing tenor. Ulquiorra always took him for a Bass, anyhow.
This melody was meant for you
Just sing along to my stereo
He pointed to Ulquiorra on that note then quickly winked at him! Ulquiorra grew a bit peeved, but did not dare show it. All the Espadas behind him exploded into a hysteria of full-out laughter. One could especially hear Nnoitra's laugh out of all, that guy was so obnoxious to begin with, anyhow.
Ulquiorra managed to keep a straight face even as that blue-haired idiot bounced towards him. Well someone's getting into the music, Ulquiorra thought blankly.
I only pray you'll never leave me behind
(Never leave me)
Because good music can be so hard to find
(So hard to find)
Ulquiorra twitched as his hand was raised in the air and into Grimmjow's. How dare he touch me!
I take your hand and hold it closer to mine
Thought love was dead—
—Ulquiorra snatched his hand away and glared at Grimmjow. Grimmjow merely spun around on his heel and lifted his arms in an 'oh well' manner and continued on—
But now you're changing my mind
Grimmjow jumped up and down with his fist in the air over and over again as he sung the chorus, the idiot half of the Espadas cheering him on and also 'fist-pumping' to it while laughing and shouting at the same time. It was outrageous, hysterical, and at the same time made Ulquiorra want to barf—if only he could…could he?
Oh oh oh oh just sing along to my stereo
Yeah.
Well thank God that was over but wait—the crowd obviously didn't think so because they continued to act brashly and even commanded for an encore. Good grief that was the last thing he wanted to happen.
"Now, now I'm glad you all enjoyed Grimmjow so much," they cut him off with a cheer, "but we still have eight other Espadas to hear out. Grimmjow, pick the next contestant." Aizen gave his best creeper smile to shush them all up It made Ulquiorra sick the way Aizen treated this little 'fest' as if it were all a fun game to him.
"Ok then! I choooooooooose…" he darted his finger across the room and squeezed one eye shut, but Ulquiorra still noticed how it semi-landed on him the most. Could he just get it done and over with already? "…Ulquiorra!" He then hopped off the stage and ran down the aisle, high-fiving the idiot Espadas as he did until he reached his booth.
Ulquiorra looked over at the still-leaning-against-the-door-frame Aizen with his stoic mask as if saying: 'please don't make me go up there besides, you can't tell me you don't know how serious this face is—I'll sound just as monotone.'
"Go up there, Ulquiorra," Aizen replied with a devious smirk.
"Bu—"
"Are you saying you'd defy me over a simple karaoke song?"
"No….it's jus—"
"Good Cuarta, see this is what I like about you—your loyalty."
Ulquiorra slowly pushed off his seat, defeated (though he'd never actually show that publicly) and also ignoring the loud "ooooo's" behind him. He swiftly turned around to face the mic after he took stage, but there was one small problem—the stand was taller than him. The idiot half of the Espadas burst out laughing again as he fumbled to lower it. He then leaned forward and uttered into the mic; "You all act like a bunch of immature teenagers. It's no wonder why you're all Trash."
That shut them up.
He turned his head and looked over at Aizen to receive his song. Aizen cocked an eyebrow then merely flicked his head toward the back of the room where Grimmjow sat. Ulquiorra sighed, but turned back to the mic reluctantly. "Grimmjow," he commanded, "give me my song." It was useless, though, because Grimmjow was already asleep. Ulquiorra practically popped a vein in frustration.
"Grimmjow."
Still asleep.
"Grimmjow."
Stillll asleep.
"Griiimmmmmmjoooowwwwww."
He just snored—obnoxiously, too.
"GRIMMJOW!" He practically shouted.
Grimmjow stirred, but continued to snore. The Espadas giggled more profoundly now.
"Get. Up. You over-flowing bag of Trash."
At that, Grimmjow jumped up.
"You asswhole! You wanna start somethin', huh? HUH?" Grimmjow spat at the ground, standing up and growling like a true wild cat.
"Now Grimmjow, Ulquiorra has been waiting very patiently to receive his song from you, so I trust you will now award him with it?" Aizen broke in with an aggravated Dark Lord smile.
Grimmjow snarled, "Oh I'll give him a song, alright. The longest song I know, too! And I wanna see you get very into it, as if this song were an actual reality for you, Cuarta. Here we go—Total Eclipse of the Heart!" All Ulquiorra could think about was the way the 'r' in 'Cuarta' rolled off Grimmjow's tongue when he spoke it as if the word was so very vile he said it in such a vapid way. Ulquiorra blinked almost visibly to the arrancar eye and looked over at Aizen.
"Do everything he says, Ulquiorra." Aizen said with a smirk. That sick bastard was enjoying this, wasn't he? Well, there was just no way was he going to act it out so if Grimmjow wanted him to sing the song, heck, he'd sing it to him.
Ulquiorra lifted his head and looked directly at Grimmjow with his self-righteous stoic expression as he waited on the intro and only so much as glanced at the lyric screen before he had it down.
(Turn around)
Every now and then
I get a little bit lonely
And you're never coming round
Ulquiorra allowed himself a chuckle as he took in all the annoyed faces before him screaming, oh this is gonna suuuuccckkkk, and we have to sit through this? After hearing his normal monotone voice.
Suddenly, the music cut off and Ulquiorra snapped his head around to see a pissed off Grimmjow giving him attitude.
"Stop. No, no, no, no, NO! I wanna hear your true potential right. NOW. Cuarta." There was that flipped 'r' again.
"This is my 'true potential', Sexta. And also, as Nnoitra would put it, you currently sound like a faggot, Trash." He didn't even move a muscle.
"Tch. Well let me tell you something, Ul-qui-or-ra. Only Trash have a voice like that." He smirked then plugged back in the music—making it start over—and walked in his normal fashion back towards his booth. That pissed him off—how dare he use his word! He didn't even care that his obvious anger showed and all the Espadas stared at him with shocked expressions. He grabbed the mic roughly and tilted his head back in a sassy fashion, squinting his eyes too, as he opened his mouth and let his real voice fling out.
(Turn around)
Every now and then
I get a little bit nervous
Of listening to the sound of my tears
He ran a pale finger down his left teal tear track during the last verse accompanied by a small, girlish pout. The crowd was silent in front of him and filled with shocked faces, even Stark was awake and gaping. The only ones not in shock was a chin-tilted-upwards-and-smirking Grimmjow and a devilishly smirking Aizen with a small perverted glint in his eye—but that wasn't unusual.
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified
{He inputed a scared little uke face}
And then I see the look in your eyes
{He threw a to-die-for adorable tilted uke expression at Grimmjow}
(Turn around, bright eyes)
Every now and then I fall apart
(Turn Around, bright eyes)
Every now and then
I fall apart
{He made a broken-doll expression at the second mention}
"Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude…." Nnoitra finally broke the silence and shock hovering above the crowd. "He's fucking amazing." At that the aura suddenly changed to a heavy 'awe' at his new found talent (well not really 'new' found, at least for Ulquiorra it wasn't).
(Turn around)
Every now and then
I get a little bit restless
{He blinked rapidly and looked around nervously here, jumping a little, too}
And I dream of something wild
{He input a happy day dreamer expression, looking up to the 'stars'}
(Turn around)
Every now and then
I get a little bit helpless
{He grew a scared expression and shivered like a cold, lost little kid}
And I'm lying like a child in your arms
{He looked directly at Grimmjow with watery, frightened eyes}
(Turn around)
Every now and then
I get a little bit angry
{His eyes flashed a little}
And I know I've got to get out and cry
{His face grew contorted with sadness and his eyes glazed over as if he was about to cry then he covered his face with his hand and faced the other way}
(Turn around)
Every now and then
I get a little bit terrified
{Input scared little uke}
But then I see the look in your eyes
(Turn around, bright eyes)
Every now and then
I fall apart
{Input broken-doll face}
(Turn Around, bright eyes)
Every now and then
I fall apart
{He added in a little shake and watery eyes aimed at Grimmjow}
"Shoot he's better than even me," Zommari confessed. Aaroniero turned around and cocked an eyebrow at Zommari. "Anybody's better than you, dumbass." Zommari just stuck up his chin at him and 'hmphed'.
"He should win an Oscar,' Szayel spluttered out. Yammy turned his head toward Szayel and slowly tore his chicken and spoke in between munches.
"What the hell's an Oscar?"
Szayel just face palmed.
And I need you now tonight
{He dimmed his eyes to a watery glisten}
And I need you more than ever
And if you only hold me tight
{He hugged himself and squeezed his eyes shut}
We'll be holding on forever
{He outstretched his arms in a showing-something-off manner and tilted his head looking straight at Grimmjow once again}
And we'll only be making it right
'Cause we'll never be wrong
Together we can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
(All of the time)
By now he was just flipping his hair around this way and that and shutting his eyes from time-to-time with his hand pressed against his forehead and angled downward in a sickly manner and pretty much all cry baby melodramatic.
I don't what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
(Forever's gonna start tonight)
Once upon a time
I was falling in love
{He gently placed a hand over his hollow hole}
But now I'm only falling apart
{Broken-doll face}
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
{He clenched his fist over his hollow hole and looked down in a very solemn and heartbroken manner}
Once upon a time there was light in my life
{He looked up to the ceiling suddenly, hope flooding his eyes}
But now there's only love in the dark
{He dropped his arm to dangle and looked at the floor brokenly once again}
Nothing I can say
{He lifted up a bit to look at Grimmjow}
A total eclipse of the heart
{He put his hand back over his hollow hole and acted as if he were only speaking to Grimmjow}
At the Instrumental Interlude, Ulquiorra just faced the ground with his hand still over his hollow hole and swayed gently back and forth in silence. It was quite a depressing site to see; even Aizen looked affected, if only just a tiny bit. During this time, the Espadas took the liberty to chat, but in hushed whispers.
"Dude who would've thought that little stoic shit right there could sing this darn good?" Nnoitra whipped around and whispered to his fellow Espadas behind him.
"And act as well,' Szayel added whilst pushing up his glasses.
"Y-yeah, that too." Nnoitra replied. "I mean, I just can't believe it!"
"Neither can I."
They all turned their heads to the amazing awake and still shocked Stark.
"I can."
They turned their heads to the left at Hallibel. "I always knew there was something special about that one, and I guess I was right." They all nodded their heads as if agreeing with her then simultaneously all turned to stare at Grimmjow, who was genuinely smiling very warmly at the swaying Ulquiorra as if love struck instead of awe struck.
"Now that's creepy." Nnoitra mentioned and everyone seemed to agree.
(Turn Around, bright eyes)
(Turn Around, bright eyes)
(Turn around)
Every now and then
I know you'll never be the boy
You always wanted to be
(Turn around)
Every now and then
I know there's no one in the universe
As magical and wondrous as you
{He flicked his arm out at Grimmjow as if throwing sparkles and gave a genuine smile}
All the Espada instantly wished they had a camera to capture that smile, but were also peeved at the same time that Ulquiorra was capable of such a good thing and found themselves wanting him to go back to his expressionless self.
(Turn around)
Every now and then
I know there's nothing any better
There's nothing that I just wouldn't do
(Turn Around, bright eyes)
Every now and then I fall apart
{Insert quivering lip}
(Turn Around, bright eyes)
Every now and then I fall apart
{Insert broken-doll face}
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you only hold me tight
{Hugs self}
We'll be holding on forever
{Starts to sway}
And we'll be only making it right
'Cause we'll never be wrong
Together we can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
(All of the time)
Ulquiorra started doing the same motions the last time he sung the chorus.
I don't know what to do
I'm always in the dark
Living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
(Forever's gonna start tonight)
Once upon a time
I was falling in love
{Hand over hollow hole}
But now I'm only falling apart
{Drop to a dangle and stare at ground}
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
{Hand back over hollow hole and swaying, staring at ground}
Once upon a time there was light in my life
{Looks up with hope}
But now there's only love in the dark
{Drops head and hand to dangle, looking utterly broken}
Nothing I can say
{Shrugs with shoulders}
A total eclipse of the heart
{Looks straight at Grimmjow with watery eyes and hand back over hollow hole and quivering lips—and stays there}
A total eclipse of the heart
A total eclipse of the heart
(Turn Around, bright eyes)
(Turn Around, bright eyes)
(Turn around)
{Droops head to the floor instantly with hair covering his face}
At first, everyone is speechless, but then one-by-one they all start to clap. Heck, even Aizen was clapping and whistling, 'well done's', 'splendid!'s, and 'that was amazing!'s' were thrown everywhere.
Ulquiorra snaped his head back up with his usual stoic expression on, though you could see the tiniest hint of a blush on his right cheek, and looked straight at Grimmjow. "How'd you like it?"
Grimmjow just smirked and said, "wow, you really outdid yourself up there, I couldn't have done better."
"Trash."
Grimmjow popped a vein.
Ulquiorra stood up straight and stated clearly into the mic; "Nnoitra singing I'm Sexy and I Know It," then he walked back over to his booth, sat down, and stared blankly at the mic once again. A person would've never guessed he was up there singing away so beautifully he sat so normally.
"Well then, I guess it's my turn then." Nnoitra chuckled and everyone else instantly grew annoyed, causing Stark to fall back asleep.
"Wake me up when its my turn because I know nobody can beat Ulquiorra's show and ain't gonna waste my precious sleep time trying to find out." Was all he said before he decked out.
Author's E/N: I'll just leave the rest of the Espadas' karaoke to your imagination because my hand is exhausted plus during the other performances Ulquiorra goes into a daydream and he's our narrator (Third person limited here, ya'll because I feel weird writing a fan fiction in first person—it just isn't right!) I can tell you the other Espadas' songs, though:
Yammy—Food, Glorious food (Duh!)
Szayel—Lime in the Cocanut
Barragon—Rock n' Roll Party Queen
Hallibel—Potential Break up Song
Stark—Daydream Believer (or "The Lazy Song" whichever u prefer)
Aaroniero—Miracles (I believe in)