Hello all! This is my first LotR fanfic. It is a self-insert and you can go as far as to say it is a Mary-sue. I do not care. This was an actual dream I had a few nights ago and as it is revealed at the end of the story, I wrote it down for my own sanity.
Disclaimer: I do not own the character, I am only borrowing them, and I am not going to even try to make money off of it. This is partially movieverse, as the physical attributes of characters are most easily recognized from them. But JRR Tolkien's characters are owned by his family or the production companies.
My Wish
By Kiija
As I sat, listless, flipping through the book before me, the walls around me breathed with an air of evil, of death. The oil lamp on the desk flickered, dimming slightly though no wind was near and the proper glass barrier protected the flame.
I shook my head to clear it, I was just in my bed drifting off to sleep, to find myself awakened here. No clue as to why I am here or why I came. I looked about my meager surroundings. The room I was in was barely furnished aside from a decrepit couch on the opposite wall from the desk I was just sitting at. A rotting side table with another oil lamp sat to the left side of the couch.
I looked toward the wall just to my right, where the door and two wide open windows looking out onto a dead, broken forest. The place was quite familiar to me. I seemed to always end up here in my most horrible nightmares. Always trapped by some unknown force to be chased round and round the empty, interlocking rooms by the monster of the week.
I knew now for sure that I was dreaming and I feared what my subconscious had planned for me. This shabby cabin, known to many horror fans as the house of Evil Dead, haunted me more than just on the television screen. I knew now that, from what my subconscious was telling me, I had trapped an evil creature in the cabin's crawlspace located in front of the couch, not but five feet from my exposed feet.
I closed my eyes, breathing calmly; hoping that the thing I caught wouldn't wake up and would allow me to escape unscathed. I looked down to the chained hatch door and decided then that I did not want to know what was trapped down there and I began to slide towards the front door. This was when my consciousness decided it needed to notice I was only in my comfy, Garfield horoscope nightshirt. It was long enough to cover the important parts but it was also very light and I had worn nothing but underwear underneath.
I froze to the spot midway from the god-awful hole in the floor to the front door, now wondering if I had ever found pants in any room of this evil cabin. I took a deep breath again, feeling quite at ease at the moment I decided to go search for pants in the two bedroom areas of the cabin.
I walked swiftly and quite heavy-footed to the nearest bedroom to find no luggage or clothing holders of any sort, save for the closet, whose door was already ripped off its hinges and seemed to not reflect any light from the lamp located on the night stand next to it. It maybe a dream, but I am not stupid. The closet held something I did not want to tangle in.
I began to walk toward the connecting doorway to the secondary bedroom when the sounds began. An unearthly growling, just under my feet in the floorboards. I knew the evil I had captured had finally woken up. I didn't wait for it to burst through the floor and grab my ankles, I sprinted towards the door. I could feel it following me, till it reached the steps and the chained crawlspace door.
I reached the door, turning and pulling on its knob fruitlessly. The evil force always trapping me within that cabin, till I completely maimed and murdered the evil that was chasing me, this time seemed no different. I whined, turning from the door to the crawlspace, a head pushing the hatch up far enough for me to see its yellow eyes. This relieved me a bit; yellow eyes meant this thing I had captured was at least not the living dead wanting to eat my brains.
I shivered at the thought of how many times I had been trapped in that cabin with multitudes of them on the outside and one under the floor. I shook the thought off quickly, knowing how often my subconscious would change the thing into the floor to my worse enemy. I looked again at the eyes in the floor, still yellow and very angered. The thing growled at me and I could see from the shadows that it did not plan on staying down there much longer.
It seemed to be pushing up on the chained door with a great force, slow but sure. The door began to creak and the chain links began to stretch. I panicked then. I knew I had to get out of the house before it came after me. I heard a loud crack from behind me of the weakened door shattering against the pressure. I looked back at the thing coming up from the crawlspace, it's darkened seemingly melted on skin reflecting a slimy surface, and its yellow eyes watching me as the front door flew open allowing me to high-tail out of the cabin.
I knew what the thing was now, an orc. A goblin created from my recent watching of the Fellowship of the Ring. It gave chase, but in fight or flight and I choose flight; I have never had an opponent catch me. This, my subconscious liked to register as one of my saving graces. I began to run flat out into the darkened forest, the only light from the cabin allowing me to not run face first into a tree. I was quickly leaving the rotten trees behind for strong, youthful trees that were still full of life. The orc was approaching quickly, but began to slow down as what seemed, as I hoped, to be dawn coming on.
I began to see the trees much clearer, and my lack of breathing was catching up to me. I thought I could still feel the orc behind me, but could not be sure. I took a chance while running to turn my head back to see if I could catch a glimpse of the creature still behind me.
My consciousness had registered no trees in my current route of running, but before I turned back I hit something. Something slightly smaller than I am, thick as a great tree and hard as steel, and it hurt. I bounced right off the obstruction in my path as a deep CLANG and the sound of my own screeching voice rang in my ears. I grabbed for my chest that had just been smashed almost flat against god knows what. I curled into a ball at the loss of breath and pain. I didn't know what was worse at this point. I had to calm down breathing deeply to regain full consciousness, when I noticed something or someone speaking to me and the voice was getting closer.
Each breath I took, I became more and more aware that there was more than one voice. The voice closest to me I focused on, breathing a few more times before trying to get my voice back.
"Miss..." a gentle shake of my shoulder "Miss, are you ok?" I blinked my eyes open trying to get them focused on the ground in front before trying to sit up.
"... do you even care that she may be hurt you over-bearing dwarf?" a second voice called out, a concern heightening the tenor of the smooth voice.
"She ran into me, ya hear?!" a third much gruffer voice a little further replied. I began to sit up, slowly, to not hurt myself further. The closest voice rang out, "Both of you quit! She is waking up. How are you feeling miss?"
I turned my head to the direction of the voice. A very familiar face came into view at my side and two other familiar figures we further off behind the man closest to me. The closest man handed me an ancient water bag, "Please drink some. When you have had your fill, I have some questions for you."
"Strider?" I asked, making sure I was correct in my assumption and these were not the actual actors themselves. The trio looked at me with great suspicion once I said his name. I quickly began to drink some of the water in the container handed to me.
"How?" Strider sighed shaking his head slightly, "I have even more questions for you now." I handed back the water bag to Strider who was crouching a little further from me than before. I took a deep breath and pulled my nightgown further down my legs as I was sitting on the cool, moist ground. All three travelers took notice and turned their heads. I sighed lightly.
"Ask away," I stated. Strider sat back on the ground and eyed me as the others were.
"First off, who are you? Where did you come from? How do you know me?" Strider asked calmly. I looked into his eyes, showing I had nothing to hide.
"I am just a girl that had to run from her cabin in the woods after a rabid orc escaped the prison I put it in. I know you because your adventures that you have had and are still to come become mythological tales in my world," I stated clearly, looking to all three directly into their eyes. The dwarf gave a great "HMPH!" and walked closer to where I was sitting. The mention of orc had Strider up, a hand at his sword watching the direction I had come from.
"You? Trapped an orc? A little thing like you? I don't believe it for a minute! And no one makes homes this far out in the woods except elves!" the dwarf stated. I sighed again, shrugging my shoulders.
"I don't know how I trapped him. I just know that the dream started, and I rolled with it till I ran into you, Gimli! You know how much it hurts to run into a living boulder plated with steel?" I spat at the dwarf, I wasn't much taller than the dwarf and by no means stronger, but I wasn't going to let him keep ranting. The mention of his name seem to shock him for a second, but the elf and Strider were more interested in something else I had said.
"Dream?" the elf asked, somewhat more interested than the prior questions. I looked to him, his fair face looking at me inquisitively. I just about forgot that he had even asked me a question.
"Uhh... Yeah, this is all in my dreams. I am sure of it. You can also stop waiting for the orc. He is gone now, hidden away in my subconscious for later use," I stated, standing up now as everyone else was towering over me and that made me quite nervous.
"If this is your dream, what are we doing here?" Strider asked, only slightly letting up on his watch out for the orc as he turned towards me for the answer. This was a good question to me. I didn't understand completely what my subconscious was thinking by making me run into these three. I never have dreams of the characters I actually like in my dreams. I only dream of the antagonists and their minions coming after me.
I stood there for a minute looking from one character to another. My eyes always coming back to Legolas. Something slowly came to me. The one thing I was day-dreaming about before I fell asleep was Legolas and the one thing I would wish to have happen if I was ever in his company. I smiled at him and looked back to Strider to answer his question.
"I believe that my subconscious has an ulterior motive. It wants to give me something that I wish for," I told him calmly. His face distorted to one of disbelief and thinking. I looked away from him blushing slightly, my inherent introverted nature rearing its head even though the people I was currently about to admit my deepest desire to were just in my own mind.
"I wish for an apology," Gimli snorted, this comment broke my embarrassment quite easily. I narrowed my eyes at him, and then sighed in resignation.
"Gimli, my sincerest apologies to you. May your beard grow ever longer," I said with an air of melodrama, bowing to the dwarf the as deeply as I could. This seemed to impress him and he huffed and puffed before quieting down quite contentedly and I continued my explanation.
"Unlike my sisters in fantasy, what I want is simple. It's not complex and requires no more emotional involvement than a passing glance," I explained seriously, looking directly into Legolas' eyes, "It does not involve me wriggling my way into your fellowship, nor does it involve me whimsically creating characters that do not exist within this world, nor would I want to follow you to the end of your days. It does involve me, my truest self, short dark hair, an imperfect face, eyes that do not focus without man-made aids, and slight weight I carry on my hips. It is my truest self because it is the wish of my true self. Thus the reason it is in my dreams."
"Who would want to willingly come to this land of war and evil, including yourself? What is so important to you that you would risk your life to come here, knowing about our world and adventures?" Strider asked. I could only look at him with a look of pity.
"Well, I for one do not plan on staying in this place, and this being my dream, I have stopped time outside of us four and thus I am in no real danger. However, many of the other females in my world thrive on becoming your one true idol. Having you bow to them and loving them to the end of your natural lives. They create great horrendous epics of their imaginary worlds where you save them time and again and love them for getting you into further trouble. This adoration from such brave handsome warriors is what drives them," I told him flat out, his face, as well as the elves' turning into faces of disbelief. The dwarf was just annoyed with all the yammering I was continuing to do.
"Well, let's get on with it then? What is it you want?" Gimli asked, the annoyance in his voice clear. Strider shrugged off the thoughts that were going through his head, "Yes, we are wasting valuable time in rescuing two stolen hobbits."
"No time is being wasted. As I have said before, all time around us has stopped, because it is my own dream," I stated, turning and pointing towards the dawn, "Notice the sun hasn't risen at all since I ran into Gimli." Strider glanced in the direction of the dawn quickly confirming it, and Legolas stepped closer.
"Still, you have told us about this dream, but not told us its purpose. What is it you wish for?" Legolas asked, no true emotion showing on his elven face. I quickly blushed at him asking the question. I took a deep breath and looked to the ground quickly.
"Well…" I began, swallowing hard before continuing, "I want a simple kiss."
"A kiss?" Legolas whispered, questioning to himself as if it was such a simple thing to not need to dream about it.
"You are keeping us here for a kiss?" Strider asked, annoyed with my wish.
"Yes, a simple kiss from the fairest of three," I said lifting my head up proudly, though my ego felt like curling into a ball. Gimli must have believed I was speaking of him as he began to stride up to me, adjusting his belt and puffing up his chest in pride. I leveled my stance and narrowed my eyes at him again.
"I said fairest, not stoutest dear dwarf," I stated clearly. This deflated Gimli quite quickly, his chest even visibly deflated and he turned from me with a "HMPH!" and stalked back to his original standing spot.
"Why the elf? Why not a strong burly man?" Gimli asked.
"Because I have an inherit attraction to feminine looking blonds. Be they male or female. And Legolas happens to fit into that category almost to the extent of perfectness," I answered him truthfully.
"Go on then, kiss the elf. Won't be as good as with the strong dwarf! What a smallish stocky female would want with a frail thing like that I don't care to know," Gimli pouted, still turned away from me. Strider could not help but put his head in his hands at the dwarf's pettiness. Legolas' posture had changed slightly as well, most likely because he was the reason I was here and the center of my attentions. He cleared his throat, and looked back to me which caused me to look straight at the ground again. A light blush was on his own cheeks, but nothing compared to my completely rouge face.
"So, since it's your dream why didn't you just take the kiss from me?" Legolas asked, he seemed to be looking for something from me. I lifted my head a little at the question, the answer quite easy for me.
"My brain has been through a lot of training to keep from stealing things from people, or changing a person's true character to get something from them. Besides, I wanted you to be your true self when it happened. I don't want you to be some perfect image that only loves me. My brain wants you to do it because you want to do it. For whatever reason necessary," I explained, nervously folding and unfolding my hands.
"Alright then, just kiss the girl so we can get out of here Legolas," Strider snapped, he was becoming feral it seemed, from standing in one place too long when there were many important things that needed to be done.
"Why a kiss? If I am an image of such close perfection, wouldn't you want more from me?" Legolas asked, his nervousness showing a little as well. Gimli turned his head toward us and rolled his eyes, "It's always about how perfect ye elves are ain't it?"
"You thought it was all about Lady Galladriel!" both Legolas and I snap at the dwarf. This caused him to turn away from us again quickly, grunting at us both.
"You trapped us here for a simple kiss?" Strider complained, more to himself than to me.
"Will you grant my wish? It may answer your question," I asked, lifting my blushing face to meet Legolas' eyes.
"I don't see what one kiss would hurt, and if it would answer my question, I would surely welcome it," he said smiling at me warmly. I am not sure if the smile he gave me was to calm me, but that is what it did for my pounding heart. I lowered my eyes to the forest floor again, and I found I was already moving closer to him. I could feel the dead leaves and branches breaking, and the dewy grass and moist ground under my feet.
His arms reached out to me in a welcoming like that of an old friend, almost challenging. He could not understand what it was about a simple kiss. I reached towards him, my fully out stretched hands, first feeling the rough texture of his warm wool overcoat. I stepped closer taking in the scent of the woods and battle in his clothing. His hands reached for my upper arms, resting on them lightly.
The other two companions melted away into the background in my mind. This was my wish, and I was going to get all that I could out of it.
My hands that were feeling the layers of armor he wore, rose up to locks of hair that were hanging over his shoulders. Soft and fine. The feeling of spider's silk is the only way to describe elven hair. I twirled some threads of hair in my fingers, Legolas laughed lightly. My face must have been one of pure amusement then.
I looked up into his eyes for the first time since I began walking towards him. A comforting, albeit anxious smile awaited me on his smooth, angular face. I leaned into him then, still keeping my eyes on his face till my own face came too close. I shied away for the moment angling my head into his neck to smell his skin. He smelled masculine, with a hint of the fresh woodlands they were currently traveling through.
I closed my eyes to try to etch the smell to memory. He leaned his head down to my neck as well. The emotion that begins when you want to take in every detail in a moment, can entrance even passers by. This to me seemed no different. Just one moment of peace where one can relax and take in everything about that one moment.
I leaned back, and my hands went to his face slowly. The tips of my fingers traced his eyebrows down to his completely smooth cheeks. Even though dirt marred his features, it seemed apart of him. The rough dirt making a major contrast to the satin it covered. My thumb touched lightly over his bottom lip. This feeling was common. The warmth of his breath on my thumb and the softness of the skin it also touched. That was one place humans and elves were not different.
Legolas kept his hands at about my shoulders, a gentleman he was. Entranced by his eyes again, my left hand went to his shoulder feeling the different blends of fabric in the woodland elves' cloak. My right hand moved its way to the back of his neck my fingers in his hair there. Our faces came closer together, eyes closing slowly as our lips touched. An electrifying warmth at the touch. I pulled back from him to catch more of his lips in the kiss. Our lips drew each other closer for a moment that seemed like forever to me, but was only a second's time.
His companions came back into frame. Gimli commenting, "That was a kiss?!" Strider replying, "To the girl, this has got to be a memory to last a lifetime. Dreams come and go, and only rarely repeat as fantasies. She wants to remember it for all it's worth." A grunt from the dwarf could be heard. Our lips still touching lightly we both pull away, my eyes remaining closed.
"Your wish has been granted. What will you do now?" he whispered to me.
I replied, "Never open my eyes."
"Why not? Do you not want to look at me once more?"
"I could not, even if I wanted to, once my eyes open, you will be gone and a new dream awaits me."
"Do not keep your eyes closed for me. If your dreams can bring you here, they could take you anywhere," and with that I could feel his lips on my forehead. This shocked me into opening my eyes with a snap. There before me stood the ugliest, tallest, demon to ever walk the earth. I shuddered a second and realized it was all gone, the wood, the little house in the middle of nowhere and the three travelers. Only memories. And now I had to run. A new house and demons await me.