A/N: This is pure indulgence – a moment in Edward's mind, in a moment of Edward's weakness. The argument between Edward's love for Bella and his desire, the ways both come together and are so much the same thing. Restraint, longing, and that untarnished devotion that makes one thing true – that she is his everything. A short one-shot of M rated fluff. Early Eclipse time period, if you're interested. Please review if you have a minute - I'm working on a loooooong Epov story (Moonless Night - see my page), so comments on any aspect of Edward's voice are helpful!
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I longed to indulge myself in the softness of her perfect body. To run my hands over her—all of her. To feel the fragile softness of her breasts beneath my fingers. To feel myself surrounded by the heat of her sex.
Oh, she had no idea how I longed for her. To possess her in body as well as in soul. To see her spread before me uncovered, to marvel at her impossible beauty, to bask in the vision of her and know that every part of her belonged to me. To love her in body the way I loved her so deeply in every other way.
To feel her trembling in my arms, to feel her moving against me, with me, around me. To breathe in the sounds of her pleasure, the tiny whimpers she made in her throat, the delicious moans that told me she wanted me too. To hold her naked against me and feel the warmth of her skin pressed to mine. To feel the thrills run electric between us skin on skin, lips connected, bodies entwined.
Oh yes, I wanted her. I wanted her like I didn't think possible. I wanted her so, the desire to take her burned through me. So easy. It tempted me, tempted me to take her in this like I had reached out and taken her in every other way, regardless of danger.
And then I would take a deep breath, and draw back, and move my hands firmly to her cheeks, and kiss her softly on the forehead. Gently. I had practiced self-control a long time. I could wait a little longer.
She would pout at me in the most beguiling fashion, and mumble about my composure and I would laugh quietly and kiss her beautiful mouth and wonder what she would think if she knew just how much effort that composure took me.
And I would brush her rosy cheeks with my fingertips, and hold her close, gently, and sing her quietly to sleep.
My beautiful Bella. My love. The centre of my life. The centre of my everything. So sweet. So brilliant. So seeing and yet in some things, thankfully, so unseeing. So trusting. So…sure. And so very, very beautiful. My Bella. My everything.