A ninja and a soul reaper walk into a bar…
Ichigo had no idea where he was. He just needed a drink. That's all he knew. He took a seat in front of the barman, whose face was covered by an eerie type of shadow. The barman was burly, with only a lazy smile slithered on his face – Ichigo surveyed him for a mere second before clearing his throat. Ichigo couldn't make out if he was human.
"Hey, uh, can I get a glass of water, please?" he requested. He'd never been one for drinking – he'd always feared he'd act out like his father if he ever drank more than he could handle. Ichigo crossed his arms on the counter as the barman wordlessly turned his back on him and got busy.
Ichigo threw a look over his shoulder, trying to figure out where he was. The bar was filled with faceless and nameless people, who drank, laughed and argued over the old tune coming from the jukebox in the corner. None of them paid attention to the orange-haired teenager sitting at the counter – Ichigo was content with this fact. He didn't like people staring at him anyway.
Glass hit the wooden surface and Ichigo's attention was redirected to the glass of water under his nose. The barman then exited through the back of the bar somewhere, leaving Ichigo in a state of puzzlement. His eyes dropped to the clear glass – the barman had at least added some ice. Ichigo lifted the glass and, feeling suspicious, gave it a sniff before throwing his head back and downing it in a few gulps. He shoved the glass away and wiped his mouth, feeling his scowl with the back of his hand.
"Damn it. Where the hell am I?" he muttered to himself, shoulders sulking into his form. He didn't want to move for some reason. It felt as if he had to wait, which Ichigo felt was awfully condescending, because he had never been considered the most patient person. He could, at the very least, be somewhat tolerant and wait for something to happen.
Ichigo turned in his seat, resting his back and elbows to the counter. He studied the inhabitants of the bar once more. He could not recognize anyone particularly familiar or important. None of these people seemed like they held any substance that would give him some clarity. Feeling annoyed, Ichigo shifted his eyes to the ceiling, trying to sense any spiritual power around or inside the building so he could conclude that he was alone. His instinct told him that he was not in Soul Society, but not in the Living World either.
Was he dead? If so, he expected hell to be a little different.
The creaking of a door caught Ichigo's attention. His head snapped to the entrance of bar where a blonde figure was entering.
His attire was different than Ichigo was used to. He wore sandals with an orange jumpsuit and a foreign-looking headband. As he walked into the bar, Ichigo could make out blue eyes and …whiskers?
The boy seemed fifteen, maybe older. From his light walking and upright stature, Ichigo could conclude that he was coordinated fighter of some sort. From the way he narrowed his eyes and kept his head on alert whilst walking into bar, Ichigo caught a sense of paranoia from him. The blonde's head turned to the bar to catch Ichigo staring him. There was a moment where both teens held eye contact, daring the other to blink first. Ichigo thought he was about to back down when the boy promptly walked over to the counter and took a seat next to him.
"Hey," said the kid, who grinned. "You've got funny-looking hair."
Scowl intensifying, Ichigo narrowed his eyes. "Seriously? You want to insult my hair when you come in here wearing that getup?"
The boy grin disappeared, an expression of confusion forming on his face. "What do you mean? I'm dressed normally. I'm not wearing a bathrobe like you."
"It's a Shihakusho, you idiot! Not a bathrobe!"
The boy sniggered. "Looks like a bathrobe to me," he stated. His grin was back on his face and wider than before.
Ichigo huffed, thoroughly wound up by the boy's arrogance and turned in his seat to face the bar again. A moment of silence passed between the two before Ichigo heard the boy sigh.
"Where the hell are we?" he asked, head turning to take in his surroundings.
Ichigo rolled his eyes, crossing his arms on the counter. "Hell if I know. I'm just as a confused as you by all of this."
The boy looked at Ichigo, scrutinizing his eyes as if to scan him over. "Who are you?"
"Ichigo Kurosaki. I'm a Substitute Soul Reaper," he answered. It most likely didn't matter who knew in a world where there was no life or death. Judging by the boy's strange appearance and the peculiar aura of power he gave off, Ichigo could assume that he was not a normal guy himself.
"Naruto Uzumaki, the future Hokage!" he proclaimed proudly, pointing a finger at his own chest. He seemed mildly confused when Ichigo did not actually react to this.
"Future what?"
Naruto's hand fell. "Never mind. It probably doesn't matter here. What did you say you were? A Soul Reaper?"
Relieved that he was finally catching one, Ichigo nodded. "Yeah."
Naruto looked thoughtful and scratched his unruly head of blonde hair with a finger. "Woah. That's cool. So, what, you reap souls?"
"That's part of job description," Ichigo answered in a dull tone. "How about you? You look like more than just a paperboy."
Naruto chuckled and grinned again, the whiskers on his face becoming more prominent. "I'm a ninja of the Leaf."
Ichigo's face betrayed some surprise. "Never would've guessed that. What's the Leaf-part?"
"Where I'm from."
Out of nowhere, the barman reappeared. Naruto gave him an apprehensive look before placing a hand on the counter. "Just water."
"You don't drink?" Ichigo asked, interested.
"I'm underage."
After receiving his glass of water, the pair fell silent. There was a feeling of joint confusion.
"So …how'd you get here?" Naruto asked after taking a gulp. He seemed to have fallen deep in thought.
Ichigo sighed, running a hand through his orange hair. "I have no idea. One moment I was doing something and then I was here. How about you?"
Naruto shrugged. "Pretty much the same."
"Do you know anyone in here?" Ichigo asked, throwing a lazy finger over his shoulder to point at the people of the bar.
Without looking back, Naruto shook his head. "Nope. I don't even think they're real."
Ichigo raised an eyebrow at this remark. "What do you mean, 'they're not real'?"
Naruto turned in his seat to look at him. "Think about it. I can't sense any actual life from them – they only have presence. It's like they're solid ghosts."
"Huh. I never would've thought about it like that," Ichigo mused.
An outstretched and thick patch of silence worked its way into the conversation. The bar's atmosphere remained constant. Naruto took to stirring the leftover ice in his glass with his fingers. The bartender wiped the counter with an old rag. Ichigo watched him lazily until his own eyes fell to his lap.
What now?
"Hey. Can I ask you a serious question?" Naruto spoke all of a sudden, but avoided Ichigo eyes of interest.
"I guess." Ichigo shrugged to himself.
Naruto narrowed his eyes as if he was deep in thought. "You're obviously a warrior – so I gotta ask. Have you ever killed someone?"
Thrown off guard by the question, Ichigo sat upright. He took a moment to just survey Naruto where he sat. Thoughts finally dawning on him, Ichigo's eyes fell to the counter and he hunched position over the counter.
"I killed …a man named Kūgo Ginjō. He was a Substitute Soul Reaper ...like me. He was the first one too." Ichigo took a moment to pause. Naruto waited without pressing him.
"He betrayed my trust ...he attacked me. It was a pretty hard battle but I won in the end. I made sure he got a proper burial afterwards."
"Why?"
"To honor him, I guess. I can't really remember."
Naruto finally looked at Ichigo. "So, that's it? One guy?"
Ichigo's eyes narrowed and he frowned. "Hey, I deal with people and things that are already DEAD or I leave my opponent alive. Wait a minute."
Naruto raised an eyebrow at his companion's thoughtful look.
"I kind of killed one guy by accident ..."
Naruto sweatdropped. "How do you kill someone by accident?" he muttered, mostly to himself.
"There was this is other guy …Ulquiorra. He didn't have much humanity to spare. He was standing between me and my friend that was kidnapped – he tried hard not to let me get to her."
Naruto grinned knowingly. "Oh, I get it. This is about a girl."
Annoyed, Ichigo rubbed his forehead. "It wasn't like that. Orihime was a friend and I promised myself I wouldn't let anything happen to my friends. Looking back, I realize it was my fault she got involved in my Soul Reaper life in the first place. She had powers of her own – it attracted attention."
"What's this got to do with accidently killing a man? Naruto asked genuinely.
"Nothing. I was just explaining. So anyway, Ulquiorra-"
"His name sounds weird!"
"-and I got into it pretty heavily. I few times it felt like I had lost and then …I kind of …" Ichigo trailed off, eyes flashing a million emotions per second. Naruto sensed that he could relate somehow, finding the expression somewhat familiar.
"You lost control?" Naruto dared to finish for him.
Ichigo nodded, rather relieved of not having to voice it. He locked eyes with Naruto and found that he stared into an identical shade of emotion.
"You know what it's like," Ichigo stated, already knowing the truth. Naruto, not breaking eye contact, nodded seriously. "Have you ever killed someone then? You're a ninja, aren't you?"
The eye contact finally broke. Whether it was shame or guilt, Ichigo couldn't tell. He saw a dark muck hang over Naruto's young head in the form of a broken soul. What violence and bloodshed was this boy subjected to?
"Not as far as I can remember, no. I know how to kill someone, though. I am trained to kill, after, all. But I refuse. That is not my way of the ninja." He then crossed his arms and then gradually uncrossed them.
"I still saw a lot of death everywhere. I was kinda …a big part of a war. I don't remember much after that," he mused, furrowing his eyebrows in thought. "It's all fuzzy, but the basis is there."
"How do you lose control?" Ichigo asked suddenly after working up the nerve for the issue. He understood it being a sensitive subject, but his curiosity and need to relate got the better of him.
Naruto shifted uncomfortable, trying to make light of the situation. He figured he was in a neutral place with a fighter from another world – this probably made for the ideal psychological outlet he never knew he needed. Besides that, Ichigo was a pretty cool guy.
"I was host to a demon fox with nine tails …" Naruto concluded lamely, grinning sheepishly.
Ichigo's eyes racked. "Holy crap …"
"Dude, you don't know the half of it."
All sense of time flew out the window. Ichigo and Naruto found themselves in another patch of silence, but more relaxed and enjoyable. Steadily, they began to notice the bar empty out but neither made a move for the door. They sat quietly and content.
"Hey," Ichigo began, bumping Naruto's shoulder with his. Naruto perked up.
"Yeah?"
"Let's order a drink," Ichigo suggested with a smile. "Not water. A real drink."
Naruto looked hesitant. "I don't know. I'm not allowed to drink."
"Who's going to know?" Ichigo asked.
Naruto smiled. The guy had a point. Out of nowhere the bartender appeared in front of them, ready to take their order. He stood in front of them expectedly as the two teen sat clueless for a few seconds.
"I don't know what's good to order."
"How 'bout a beer? My dad always drinks them."
"Why not something more classy?"
"Yeah, because this place just screams class."
"Whisky?"
"I've always wanted to try Vodka …"
There was an instant of whirling silence before both teens looked at each other with the same idea. Simultaneously they turned to the bartender to order.
"Sake."
Wordlessly, he turned to get busy. By doing this, the boys assumed he stocked sake. Not even a minute later the barman returned with two whisky glasses filled to the brim with liquor. He set them in front of the two boys and exited through the back again without a word. Naruto and Ichigo both looked down at their drinks in awe.
"Not the traditional way of serving sake, but what the heck," Ichigo shrugged, picking up his chilled glass. Naruto copied him.
"How are we going to pay for this? I don't have any money on me," said Naruto with worry – he had always been broke and he could safely assume that his new friend had no cash on him either. Ichigo frowned though and threw the back door a suspicious look.
"Okay. I say we down it …then make a run for it."
Seeing no other outcome and not wanting to wash dishes while the creepy mute bartender-guy breathed into his ear, Naruto nodded without argument. Together, they counted to three, threw the drink back into the mouths, swallowed with a lot of endurance and set the glasses back on the counter with a conclusive slam.
"Run!" Ichigo hissed at the blonde who had already made a dash for it. There was no denying either of the boys' speed.
They exited the bar in a victorious gusto.
"Aw man, that was awesome!" Naruto exclaimed, adrenalin pumping.
"Yeah, never done anything like that before," Ichigo remarked, catching his breath. Naruto grinned excitedly.
"Now what?" he asked, smiling.
Ichigo took a while to look around. Suddenly they were …nowhere. Everything had transformed into a black abyss of nothingness. Ichigo wracked his eyes to search for anything that could've been far away but he found nothing – he also senses no presence.
"I don't know," he concluded, fairly defeated. He had no idea where they were, let alone how they got here.
Naruto pulled on his sleeve. "Hey, look over there! It's a door!"
Ichigo looked to where Naruto pointed and there, standing in nothingness while being held up by absolutely nobody, stood a white door. They walked towards it – it was only a few feet away.
"There's an 'N' on it," Naruto surveyed, thinking furiously. He took a glance over his shoulder after some suspicion. "There's another one behind us."
Ichigo turned. Another white door across the first one … only there was a letter 'I' printed on it. Concluding the obvious, Ichigo turned to Naruto in what he assumed were their final moments together. Naruto smiled at him, having apparently made the conclusion by himself as well.
"Well, it's been fun, kid. Call me up if you ever want to go get another drink," he joked, knowing full well they would probably never meet again. Naruto grinned.
"Sure. I had a great time," he admitted truthfully. Curling his hand into a fist, he raised it to Ichigo, grinning happily. Finding what felt like inner peace, Ichigo raised his own fist to bump with Naruto's. He'd miss him.
"See ya!" Naruto called, saluting with some decisiveness. He turned to the door, turned the knob and walked into pure light which Ichigo assumed was Naruto's place of origin. Taking a breath, Ichigo turned to his own door to return back home.
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Young Heroes – Kim Wilde
Everyone round keeps putting us down, let it go. We anly wanna stay young, we only wanna be free.
It's the same old play in a grown up day.
It's a stinging sensation.
Hanging round on every corner.
Where all the young kids I know want to be.
He doesn't wanna be you, she doesn't wanna be me.
We're young heroes.
Shouted down pushed and we're getting real bushed. We anly wanna stay young, we only wanna be free.
Just have your say and we'll do it your way,
if it makes you feel better.
Nothing much to add to what I say,
'cause I know just how it feels to be...
He doesn't wanna be you, she doesn't wanna be me.
We're young heroes.
We only wanna be free...
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A/N: I've been playing around with this idea for some time now and I'm relieved that I finally got it out of my system. It's very similar to my Lord Voldemort meets Hitler one-shot, which is something that sort of inspired me. The concept of transcending worlds, realms, dimensions and time completely fascinates me – I might embrace it into a larger idea.
I argued whether or not to bring in Natsu (Fairy Tail) and Goku (Dragon ball Z), but it was just too much ego and detail for me to bother with. I drafted a possible concept for a poker game involving all our favorite anime heroes I might pursue (with some persuasion from my readers).
This is supposed to suggest some form of heroic menopause – a time when heroes reflect back on their pasts, try to relate to others and finally, crave freedom and peace from it all. I chose a bar scene because I found it rather accommodating – also how our heroes react to the environment tells us more about their characters – for example, they both ordered water. Think about that for a moment.
This didn't take long to write, because I was in a hurry to finish it before going on holiday for three weeks. I'll admit, it's not my best work, but it was most definitely fun to write.
PM me should you have questions. Feel free to leave a comment or review. Thank you for your time.