There is one symbol of the cruelty, the harshness of our capitalist society and that's exactly why she wants to use it.
Tinder.
At nineteen she's a bombshell but she doesn't find any good dates as of late, maybe because a certain pair of glasses and silver perm wouldn't stop threatening all boys she came across to. What could you say, her beauty shines like a gem and it's not her fault if she attracts eyes. However, like most girls her age, Kagura wants to have fun, enjoy her youth and mostly through consuming any kind of delicious food with an equally delicious man.
Phone in her hand, Kagura quickly fills her profile— age, a quick bio, a nice picture of her with Sadaharu and a reminder of being Yato to chase off creeps— here she comes into the online dating universe, she stops hesitantly for a second when she types 'QueenGura' as her username but finally presses enter; she might as well be honest. She is the queen of Kabuki district after all, and anyone disagreeing is clearly retarded and not worthy of her time.
The app directs her to the main page and faces appear, swipe after swipe, ranging from is-it-even-humanoid to actually-good-looking. Even so, Kagura swipes only a few rights because there are not many looking interesting or sharing hobbies with her— in the land of Samurais she'd expect more warriors and fighters. Now there's this pretty boy that works in a clinic for animals, he looks sweet and she's hoping to bond over their love for pets. Or this man that has nice hazels eyes that hopes to become a samurai, he may look kind of plain overall but he has this niceeeeeeeeee body to look at. Hmm.
Don't you judge her, it's her right to admire pretty things that include dogs, cakes, flowers and toned bodies.
It starts being fun, looking up profiles and seeing new faces and it's definitely saving her time from going out to bars and trying to get a decent man, and then having Gin-chan breaking in like it's the apocalypse and everybody is going to die if she stays. Seriously, this old man was ruining the fun too much and she could bet he's just jealous of her blooming youth. It also saves her the time for all the prep, doing her nice, picking nice clothes and applying some makeup to be ready to slay.
The Vet Boy messages her first, and he immediately gains her attention because it's a picture of him and a black dog at what looks like his home, the dog is definitely cute and happy and the Vet Boy has the kind of smile to melt hearts.
"He's called Kuro, and yours?"
She types "Sadaharu" and doesn't forget to add a heart emoji just because. Vet Boy introduces himself and honestly the flow is all great, he seems to fit into her type and apparently, his clinic isn't quite far so Kagura thinks of landing herself an ice cream date or something. They talk about their hobbies for some ten minutes before he has to go to work again but he promises to chat afterward.
At this point Shinpachi is calling her to eat, it's noon and she's hungry so she sets her phone down on her bed, a mere futon in a closet, and goes for The Call of the Food.
Okita doesn't know much about Tinder. His crewmen are all dissipated because of this app that's been released recently and he doesn't like it; they're here to become righteous officers and defend the innocents, not to find a girl to hook up with. When he orders break times they are all over their Shinsengumi phone to check their notifications as if these losers could manage to get more than one ugly sow.
Men are pathetic beings, he thinks. Back in his time, the men would celebrate their victory at Yoshiwara with the best courtesans available. Unlike noble women, they are not only beautiful but also wise, knowledgeable as to be able to entertain politicians or warriors. However, it's a relationship of lies, money, and interest and there were only few love stories— mainly ending in tragedies.
Love is overrated. He doesn't see the point himself, take for example of his boss Kondo Isao, he lost all of his fame as the one who brought the Shinsengumi and now he's just a gorilla and a stalker for a woman that doesn't even return her feelings or rather refuse to admit their existence.
In his case, he plays with some girls when he's bored and he doesn't love anyone but his late sister. There's China, his forever and ever rival that doesn't bow down to him, she's feisty enough to make a good sparring partner and she's strong-willed enough to make a good ally and friend. There doesn't need love anywhere, it's a mutual relationship, a rivalry and he never sees her as anything else more than that. It's the same for her because she's that kind of gorilla despite trying to look good from time to times but he believes she doesn't ponder on lover either, she has friends and families and no need for an extra lover.
At least, he thinks so. They are alike in a lot of areas and Okita can't see why it wouldn't be the case yet again, the girl barely knows about love as in, romantic love, she never reads shoujo mangas or books. Hell, her first 'boyfriend' is a giant douchebag all too literally.
That's why they are strong together, he likes her for what she is: a dangerous China girl and there's no need to make her a love interest. For Kondo's case, love brings the best of him and he stands strong because he loves Boss Lady so much but in his own case, love brings the worst of him. He's jealous, possessive, doesn't know how to say sweet words and much less whisper them. He's not even sure he'd love anyone in the first place.
His crewmen break into his thoughts. "Did you really match with her? I'm sure she's catfishing you, I mean, she's a lot hotter than you are. No way a bombshell like would be interested in you."
"What am I supposed to understand? You're just jealous."
"Look Renji, those pics. He's ripped! Hey, bastard since when do you work out?"
Okita sighs, they are new recruits and like all new recruits their minds are easily dissipated because they're young, hormonal things, and need to go through his training method before gaining some self-discipline. He walks towards them before he hears something... odd.
An older member frowns and tones down his voice, "You shouldn't date her, well unless you're looking to be killed."
"Eh? Why?"
"That's our Captain's woman."
Okita arrives, startles all the crew and tilts his head innocently. "It's new to me that I have a woman, Yamamoto-san you sure are well-informed, do you read the future too?"
"C-Captain!" Their backs straighten and he notices the sweat rolling from their forehead.
"Stop spending time chasing women if you don't want me to remove breaks."
"Yes, sir!"
"But Captain, you're not with China-san? We all thought you two were..." Yamamoto looks askance, his fingers fidgeting like a school girl, "Well, you know. Something."
He frowns. "What does she have to do there? And no, like hell I would be with a gorilla like her."
The new recruit, Sen Shinnozuke is a promising young man. He's a bit younger than himself, maybe of a year or two and he handles his sword very well, he's fast and strong but most importantly he doesn't fear death nor bringing death. Okita helps him honing his skill and he's doing well, he improves more than other recruits because unlike them he's distracted yes, but not during training. He's kind of bold too, that's why his eyes don't escape Okita's.
"If she's not Captain's woman then I am free to date her right?" His comrades look absolutely stunned, white as a sheet of paper.
Okita is perplexed.
"China? Are you sure it's not some trap or something, she's never been interested in those kind of things." She's like him, there's no need for a lover and they are fine as they are.
"Really?" Jushiro, a man in his thirties join in as they form a group in the training ground. "I didn't say it because I wasn't sure if Captain was interested her or not but last month I saw her with a man, well, with different men. I patrol around the east wing and there are a lot of restaurants or cafes there."
"I mean, she's nineteen right? Isn't that normal that a young girl is interested in those kind of things? She is beautiful."
"Girls are precocious when it comes to relationships, after all."
Okita crosses his arms and shouts, "Oi, let's go back to training if you don't want to stay as a shrimp."
He'd ask her later, it's surprising Boss doesn't tell her anything but then again, he might simply not know about China's doing too. Or perhaps, he encourages her to rip off some rich men which Okita thinks is not exactly legal, especially since she has no salary from her lazy boss. Maybe he should bring handcuffs.
It's the afternoon and he's skipping his patrol in the park, at their bench. He always skips afternoon patrols because it's boring and it's more likely for a grandma to ask him to help her carry bags rather than catching a criminal or a Jouishishi so he spends the time with China. They need to spare, China to liberate her energy and him for his body to not get dull.
She's already there with her big fat dog running around and probably crushing some bystanders' skulls while she's munching on sukonbu and humming some popular songs. When she stops looking at the sky and finally notices him her face goes from normal to absolutely disgusted.
"Oi, you're hurting this policeman's feelings."
"Like I care, Sadist! And you don't have a heart, it's dark and rotten like Anego's Dark Matter."
"No, that's what your heart will look like if you don't stop running into the wolves' dens.."
She glares at him, hard.
"What did you say?"
"Men are all pigs, didn't Boss tell you?" He smirks and steps with one foot on the bench, just beside her. "Since it's not the case I'll tell you: there's not any prince and they just want to get into your pants, whatever their shitty taste is. Don't corrupt my men."
"I don't know what do you mean, it's not like you can talk Sadist. Wasn't you the one promenading poor girls in leash?" She retords. "You're spouting more shits than usual."
"Finder, Trender, whatever it is. My men are on it, and apparently, you matched with one of them or whatever, I'm telling you not to corrupt them. You'd break them, Gintama is not a shoujo."
"So? It's not your life, yes?" She gets up and throws an angry kick aiming at his chin, but he dodges easily and licks his lips. She's even angrier today and it means he'll get a good fight. But the next thing she says almost make his jaw drop to the floor. "What if I'm the one wanting to get in their pants? I'm not an idiot, and I can get laid with whoever I want, whenever I want."
Get laid.
The way she speaks so crudely about the subject make him realize she's not as innocent as he thought, not that he cares, but he's surprised. She swears like a sailor and oi vulgar, but he knows she believes in silly girl things he thinks she'd save her first times for someone she loves. Apparently not, or maybe she's past all that teenager things— she's not fourteen anymore.
"Blegh, who would want to get laid by you, of all people?"
She bits her lips, it's a bad thing. It means China is really angry, not just annoyed and is ready to stalk off. As she grows, Okita notices their relationship change a bit because before they were brats, she disliked him but now they're something along the lines of partners and rival. This means he can hurt her.
"If you're going to be like that then you can go fuck yourself, Sadist, you have no right to tell me these things."
Okita weights the for and the against, he doesn't apologize to anyone but to the late Mitsuba and more rarely China girl. As she's about to stomp off, Okita grabs her wrist and drawls out lazily, "Sorry China."
He's not really honest, but Kagura knows this is the best he can get from him and if he apologizes it means he knows he's done something bad. She sighs, he's an insufferable bastard but also an ally of many years.
"What did you mean about me corrupting your men?" She remembers the Ripped Dude, that wished to become a samurai. "Oh, it's him. Poor soul who ended up in your squad, is he a new recruit?"
Okita nods, she knows some his squad affairs as he often complains to her as much as she complains to him of her lazy Boss. "He's quite good for a recruit, don't distract him."
"We fought for five years and you're still the Chihuahua captain I know," her brows furrows and Okita snorts in response.
"As if I'd be distracted by you, of all things."
'If I'm a thing then I am a pretty one. You tax-robbers are corrupted to your bones— if anything, I'll be purifying this recruit of yours." Before she finishes it's like something clicks in her brain, and she's there skipping before him with a devious grin. "I have an idea!"
Okita sighs. It's never good when China has an idea with this kind of smile unless she wants to kill Hijikata with him. Which happened often. For free ramen.